It’s as if I don’t even exist, and it fucking sucks. I don’t want her with Robert. Whoever the fuck he is, I don’t care. She’s probably only doing this to spite me.
“Awesome, well you should stick around; we can all get a drink later.” This time I address Robert, and he simply nods in response. “Cool, catch ya later.” I can’t stand around anymore watching Emerson flirt with this nobody in front of me. I know I brought this upon myself, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
Heading out of the venue to our van, I find Geo and Cade hanging out talking. “What’s up, man?” Geo greets me with a head nod as I approach the pair.
I shrug. “Emerson is being a little too much like you and me right now,” I say to Cade.
His eyes widen. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, she showed up here a little bit ago with some random dude named Robert. Do you know him?” I ask.
Cade is not happy by the words that come out of my mouth. “Robert Thornbush? Oh, hell no.” He’s marching toward the back entrance to the venue before I have a chance to react.
I don’t want to see her with him either, but Cade is being hypocritical by chasing this guy off when he won’t let Emerson say a word about him and Breigh. “You might want to think for a second before barging in there all overprotective Dad and all.”
Cade stops abruptly, turning back to face me. “And why the hell would I do that? That guy in there is a scumbag. He’s from this band, Golden Fences, and there are rumors of all the crazy shit he’s done with groupies before. He doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. With my luck, he’d turn Emerson out and then dump her like she was nothing.”
Although he doesn’t always show it in the best way, Cade truly does have Emerson’s best intentions at heart. He cares about her and doesn’t want to see her hurt. If that means she is mad at him for cock-blocking her, that’s better in his mind than her not being able to get her virginity back.
I know I’m not being a very good friend to Emerson by telling Cade, but I push that to the back of my mind. If this Robert dude actually is a scumbag, then I don’t want him anywhere near her. “Wait up, man!” I call after Cade as we make our way back inside the venue.
Chapter Nineteen:
Emerson
I’ve known Robert for a few years now. His band has played a couple of shows with the band Cade was in before A Deafening Silence and we’ve always been flirtatious. Back then, he could have never made it past Cade to ask me out, so when I knew we’d be stopping in Portland, I made it a point to reach out.
I’ve always wondered what his lips would feel like on mine, and I’m hoping tonight is the night I will finally get to find out. I’m surprised he answered on the first ring and agreed to this whole night, given the fact that it was so last minute. We haven’t seen each other in more than six months though, so I am unsure if it’s even appropriate for me to be flirting with him.
We help ourselves to drinks and watch right around half of the line-up. I’ve seen the show so many times now that I practically have it memorized. There are minor changes with the different stops and venues, but for the most part, the entire tour is a well-oiled machine. When Tanks is halfway through their set, Robert and I slip outside. It’s too loud inside the venue to talk, and although we both love music, we don’t want to miss the chance of catching up.
When we make it outside, he lights up a cigarette and then eyes me down curiously. “What?” I ask.
Robert rolls the cigarette between his lips expertly, before maneuvering it to the side so he can speak. “What have you been up to since we last spoke?”
I shrug. “Not much. I still live with my aunt and Cade, and I started toying around with photography. Honestly, I’m not sure it’s my thing, but it’s fun for the time being.”
He takes another drag off his cigarette. “Are you working?”
I shake my head. “Not right now, but I’ll probably start looking once we get home.”
He nods, blowing out a puff of smoke. “You look good. You dating anyone?” he asks looking as cool as a cucumber with a hint of indifference.
“No.” I want to elaborate, but I know he’s friends with Cade too, and I don’t want to make things awkward.
His eyes widen a bit, and I can tell I’ve surprised him in a good way. “What about you? Where’s your girlfriend tonight?”
He grins a charming smile back at me before dropping his cigarette butt to the ground and stomping it out. “I dumped her a while back. Too clingy.”
It’s my turn to be surprised. For as long as I’ve known Robert, there have only been a few instances where he hasn’t been tied down. This would be one of them.
“What does Cade think of you hanging out with me tonight?” he asks.
I sigh. “He’s probably not happy about it, but I don’t give a fuck. He’s meddled in my life for too long. He has his own life to worry about.”
Robert chuckles, his hidden dimples making an appearance. “Okay then, what do you want to do?”
Nervously, I close the distance between us until he has no choice but to put his arms around my lower back. We’ve never been physical with each other like this before, but c’est la vie! It’s time to start living. Before he can, I make the first move by pressing my lips to his. His arms tighten around my lower body when we hear someone clearing their throat.
My stomach immediately tenses up in response as it usually does when I think I’ve been caught by Cade. Pulling away from the intimate embrace, I take two steps back. Instead of my brother staring back at us, it’s Braxton. His eyes are lowered, and a scowl is covering his face.
“What?” I bite out.
“Seriously?” He gawks back at me.
I stare back at him, deadpanned.
“Nice to see you too, Braxton,” Robert says lightly.
Braxton’s glance shifts to him for a few beats and then back to me. “Cade is looking for you.”
I shrug. “Yeah, well, I’m right here.”
Braxton glares back at me, unenthused. “Let’s go, Em.”
Oh, no he did not. I fold my arms across my chest. “I’m not going anywhere. If Cade wants to talk to me, you can tell him I’m outside.”
Braxton groans. “He’s working the merch table; he can’t leave right now.”
“Well, you better go relieve him then,” I say in a snarky tone before turning my back to him and shifting my attention back to Robert. “Can we get out of here?”
“Sure,” he replies, already reaching into his pocket for his keys.
“Okay, that’s it; I asked politely, but if you want to play this game…” I’m not exactly sure what Braxton is getting at before I feel my body being lifted into the air and then tossed over his shoulder.
“No! What the hell, Braxton!” I’m upside down punching him in the back in an attempt to free myself. He begins hauling me back toward the venue. I crane my neck slightly, enough to see Robert who has surrendered. His hands are up in the air, palms out, and I know he won’t be following us.
“Call me later!” he shouts from behind us.
“Braxton!” I shout at him. “Put me down.”
He doesn’t listen to me at all, and I’m worried he is going to try to walk me through the entire venue like this, which won’t bode well for anyone.
Instead of marching me to the merch table like I imagined, he ends up carrying me into the green room for the band. Attached to the green room is a private bathroom, and he doesn’t release me until we are secured inside. He locks the door behind my head and then places both of his palms on the door behind my back, pinning me in place.
“What are you doing?” I ask, but my voice sounds small. My heart is beginning to race from the closeness of his body, his lips.
“Robert isn’t the guy for you,” Braxton says in a definitive tone.
“And you would know that how?” I push back, irritated.
“Because he’s not a good guy,” he answers.
I sco
ff, breaking eye contact with a roll of my eyes. “According to you and Cade, no one is good enough.”
Braxton shakes his head. “You deserve better than him, Em.”
I lock eyes with him again. “And what, do you think of yourself as some kind of saint or something?”
He looks offended or slightly hurt, but he recovers quickly. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes; I don’t deny that.”
“What do you want, Braxton?” I ask, frustrated in more ways than one.
He pauses for a few moments, takes a deep breath, and then looks me deeply in the eyes. “I want you.”
I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but that was not it. I’m so thrown off by it; if I weren’t backed up firmly against the wall, I would have stumbled over my own feet.
“You… what?” I’m still trying to process his words when he takes another step into my personal bubble.
“I… want… you,” he says the words slowly and in a whisper against my lips sending chills down my arms.
“But you’ve been avoiding me… you—” His lips cut me off as he presses them firmly against mine.
“Stop… talking,” he says in between kisses. And for once in my life, I do what he says.
***
I don’t know what Braxton and I are doing, but it feels dangerous and mysterious, and that thrills me. We only have one stop left on the tour and a couple more days of driving before the Collateral Tour is wrapped up. It’s bittersweet. It took them dragging me, kicking and screaming, but I’m actually going to miss the guys. I won’t miss cramped spaces, smelly odors, and lack of showers at a lot of places.
Since our defining moment, Braxton and I have been sneaking glances at each other whenever we can. I want to know what is running through his head; I want to know what he is thinking. Cade is driving and too busy focusing on the road to pay attention to us in the back of the van. Braxton and I are seated next to one another, and I am leaning my head on his shoulder. This is something we’ve done a million and one times, fallen asleep on one another. As my eyes flutter closed, I can feel his fingers tracing lines up and down my hand and arm. He is discreet about it, but if any of the guys were actually paying attention, they might ask what’s up.
It makes me feel giddy inside, like I know a secret that no one else knows. It makes me feel powerful and important. On the flip side, it also makes me feel anxious enough to puke. I have no idea what is going to happen when we return home to our real lives, but the possibilities make me smile.
The last stop on tour is in Seattle, but we finally have a day off, so we are barreling straight through so we can relax most of tomorrow before the big finale. I know there is going to be a huge celebration after and everyone will be drinking. The thought fills my stomach with butterflies as I think about Cade noticing a difference between Braxton and me. He’ll probably be so busy getting piss ass drunk and hitting on chicks to notice what I’m doing. Or at least that’s what I hope.
I’m looking forward to going home soon as I’ve really been missing Mischa. Although she hasn’t been around too often in the last year, I can still count on seeing her a few times a week. I want to tell her about Braxton, but I’ve been waiting. Partly to see if there will be anything to tell, and partly because I don’t want her to say anything to Cade. Seeing her reaction in person will help me gauge that.
Braxton squeezes my hand lightly to get my attention. I glance up at him, breaking from my thoughts. He grins back at me and then leans over, his lips hovering above my ear. “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
I gasp and then shove him away gently. He’s going to get us caught for sure!
He leans over once again. “I’m being serious. I want to do so many bad things to you, it’s not even funny.”
I slap him across the shoulder again and then glance up toward the front. I can see Cade’s eyes in the rearview looking right at us. I glare back at Braxton shutting him up. He sighs loudly, crossing his arms, leaning back. Don’t make it obvious or anything.
My eyes shift back to the mirror, but Cade isn’t staring us down any longer. His eyes are facing front, and I release a small breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Just let us get through the next couple of days without any minor incidents….
Chapter Twenty:
Braxton
Once again, I somehow end up with my own motel room, and this time I’m taking advantage of it. I’m not pussing out this time. I’ll deal with Cade when the time is right. In the meantime, I’m living in the moment. No more being scared of my own damn shadow.
I’m changing when I hear a knock on the door. Hoping it’s Emerson, I rush to open it missing my shirt. I swing open the door, bearing a wide grin, only to realize it’s Cade.
“Hi, honey, I’m home!” he jokes at my expense.
“Oh, fuck off!” I swat him away, letting the door close behind me.
He manages to slip in before it hits him in the face. “Dude, what the fuck?” he says, but this time the pitch of his voice is much lower.
I spin around, pulling a shirt over my head. The way he is looking at me makes me feel uncomfortable. Does he know something is going on? I swallow, anxiety pouring out of me.
“We literally have today and tomorrow left, what the hell are we going to do?” Relief overcomes me. He doesn’t know anything. He wants to talk about pranking Emerson.
I shrug. “We’re out of time. Let’s just wait until we get back home so we can properly plan it.”
“No! Fuck that!” Cade says enthusiastically. “We need to plan it now.”
I sigh. “Fine.” I fall back down onto my bed and wait for Cade’s genius ideas to begin rolling in.
“I know!” he shouts, jumping up excitedly. We’ve been running through ideas for close to an hour, I’m just hoping this is good. “I heard this rumor that Teller brought his tarantula on tour with him. I bet we could get him to let us borrow her for a small prank.”
My eyes widen. Even though Emerson is one of the toughest chicks I know, there is one thing she is deathly afraid of, and that’s spiders. Snakes don’t bother her, oddly enough. She told me once the thing she didn’t like about spiders is the fact that they have so many eyes and legs. I don’t blame her. While I’m not terrified, they are not my idea of fun.
“This could actually work. Do you know where Tanks is? Did they drive straight through or were they planning on taking the scenic route?” I ask.
Cade shakes his head. “I don’t know. Let me text him.”
As it turns out, Tanks did drive straight through much like we did. However, they are staying at a hotel on the other side of Seattle, a good twenty minutes away. “Dude, I’m tired. Maybe we can try to meet up with him tomorrow?”
Cade looks disappointed, and I’m not surprised. “What part of ‘we’re running out of time’ did you not understand?”
“I get it, I do, and I don’t want to let this opportunity slip through our fingers either, but it’s late. Don’t you think that Teller will either be at the bar wasted or passed out by now?” I ask.
Cade stares back at me. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Damn it. We’re never going to get her back, are we?”
I chuckle. “Don’t worry, bro. I’ll keep thinking. We’ll get her back, I promise.”
Cade manages to smile. “Fine. Fine. I’m going to head to the local strip club; I need some pussy in my face. Red and Spencer are coming. You in?”
My mouth drops open unintentionally.
“What?” he asks perplexed.
“I’m sure Breigh is going to love that,” I joke.
He scoffs. “Breigh doesn’t need to know. We haven’t officially put a title on whatever it is we’re doing. Plus, it’s not like I’m cheating. I’m looking, but not touching.”
I roll my eyes. “Right.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Your loss. What else are you going to do? Sit here and stroke it?”
“No, dickhead. I’m tired; I think I’m going to call it early,?
?? I reply.
Cade’s eyebrow raises as he glances back at me suspiciously. “You’re acting strange, man, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
My body tenses at the thought of him finding out my secret. “Whatever. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
He strolls out of my room and I follow, shutting the door behind him. I’m too wound up to even contemplate trying anything with Emerson tonight. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to hold her off for another night. I know she won’t be happy, but I’m hoping she can understand when I explain.
***