“Oh, come on. I thought it was time we talked,” he says softly, leaning in. I can smell his cologne, Artisan by John Varvatos, and it takes me back.
I feel bad giving him the brush off, but there is a line of people waiting behind him, and I remember the last time we went down this road it didn’t end well. Obviously, I want nothing more than to talk and get the closure I need, but I am not going to make it easy for him.
“Two, she gets off at two,” I hear Demi shout from the other end of the bar.
My eyes shift to her in a glare. She shrugs, throwing her hands in the air. “We have other customers.”
Evan laughs, his green eyes twinkling. “Well, I’ll be back around then. Hopefully, you won’t kick me out,” he jokes before turning around with his drink.
My heart is still in overdrive as the next person in line begins rambling off their drink order to me. Holy shit. Evan Driscoll just walked into my bar, looking handsome as ever. I never thought this day would come. Focus, Emerson. Focus. I feel giddy like I did when he first asked me out; when he first kissed me. Why is it that he can still make me feel weak in the knees even after all this time?
***
I’m a bundle of nerves toward the end of my shift. I know Evan is going to be returning and it’s sent my heart back into overdrive. Only this time I’m mentally prepared. I know he is going to walk back here at any moment and I want to have things under control.
When I’ve served the final drink and cleaned up behind the bar, I head to the small employee area where the lockers are and grab my wallet. Evan hasn’t shown up yet, so I’m curious if I’ve been stood up.
Hurriedly, I walk to the front of the restaurant. The lights are off, and the hostesses and servers are gone. Pushing open the glass door, I can hear the thumping of my heart loudly in my ears.
Evan is leaning against an H3 Hummer which is orange, his favorite color. I’ve always felt like orange is an obnoxious color, but to each his own. “How did the rest of your night go?” he asks.
“It’s not over yet, why don’t you ask me that again later?” I suggest and then open the passenger door, climbing in.
He cocks his head to the side and smirks back at me, climbing into the driver side. “Besides this new makeover you have going on, you’re still the same Emerson, aren’t you?”
I punch him in the arm playfully. It feels like we are falling right back into our old ways and habits. It feels comfortable.
“So how is Cade?” he asks, shifting his eyes back to me and then pulling out of the parking lot.
“Seriously? We’ve gone all of one whole minute, and you’re already obsessing over him,” I say throwing my hands up in the air in frustration.
Evan chuckles, and it reminds me of how charming he can be. It’s one of the reasons I fell for him so easily. “Fine, what do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t know,” I retort sarcastically. “Maybe, what the heck we’ve been up to the past couple of years?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he replies in a mocking tone. “Since the last time I saw you, I moved to Portland and work as a bank manager.”
I can’t help the surprised look that flashes across my face. “Wow, how is your mom handling that?”
He stares back at me with a silent adoration like he used to whenever I would ask about something or someone he loved. Staring back at the road, he makes a quick turn into an empty parking lot and then parks. “She hates it, but she visits more than I should allow.”
I nod. “Why did you stop?” I ask, glancing around at the bright lamps littering the empty parking lot.
Evan shrugs, his hands on the wheel slowly gripping and releasing it. “I really missed you, Em,” he says using my nickname. My name dripping off his lips sends my heart into a tailspin.
“It’s been a long time…” I trail off.
“Yeah, why is that?” he questions.
I swallow, attempting to get my bearings. “I think we both know why.”
He places his fingers gently beneath my chin, raising it toward him. “I’m sorry,” he says simply.
“Don’t be.” I brush him off, tilting my face away.
“I’m sorry that I didn’t fight harder for you when it came to Cade. I’m sorry that I got so caught up in my rage toward him that I stopped putting you first.”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
“I don’t know why you are apologizing. If I remember correctly, I let Cade come between us. I should have stood up to him. The day I walked out was one of the worst days I’ve ever had,” I reply.
“Why did we wait so long to talk about this?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know; fear makes people do a lot of crazy stuff.”
He grins back at me and then leans in. He doesn’t ask permission, yet takes what he wants. His kiss is aggressive and passionate, exciting and familiar. When he finally pulls away a few moments later, we are both giddy about the surprising turn of events.
“So, what are you doing in Camden?” Portland is only about an hour and a half away, but it’s not unusual once people move to the big city to forget about us in this small town. My cousins moved to Portland, and while it’s not that far away, I only see them a couple of times a year.
Evan’s face falls. “My Grandpa passed away. His funeral was today.”
“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,” I reply. It’s difficult to know the right way to respond when it comes to death. You want to be respectful but not obnoxious.
He shrugs sadly. “It was his time.”
“But that doesn’t make it any easier.” I rub his shoulder soothingly. “Do you want to talk about anything?”
He stares back at me, looking deep into my eyes. “Do you think we can just sit here for a couple of moments and enjoy each other’s company?”
I nod, and a pang goes through my chest. I know all too well about death and grief. I don’t have to imagine what he is going through; I went through it twice at the same time for the two people I loved more than anything. It gave me tougher skin. It molded me into who I am today.
He lays his head gently on my shoulder, and we stay there, in silence, admiring the stars glittering the sky.
Chapter Twenty-Eight:
Braxton
“Can I get more of Spencer in my monitor?” I ask as I strum my guitar a few times, making sure I don’t need to retune any of the strings.
Tony gives me a thumbs up from the back of the room and then begins fidgeting with the controls on the mixing board.
“Do you guys want to run through that one again or should we move on?” Geo asks with his bass pick in his mouth.
“Let’s keep going,” Cade instructs. “Tornado Truths?” He glances around to make sure everyone is onboard before he motions for Spencer to kick it off.
Spencer has been playing drums since he was in elementary school. His parents bought him a student drum set that he practiced on every day until he could play just about anything by simply listening to the base of the song.
Tornado Truths begins with a long, dramatic buildup and drum solo which is impressive, to say the least. My eyes fall on the back of the room where the two couches sit. Our groupies have returned now that we are back in town and they are taking up both couches in full.
The sight used to fill me with pride and power knowing that I could have any of them with the snap of my fingers. Now it just feels desperate to me. I used to revel in the feeling that I didn’t have anyone to answer to. I loved that I didn’t have a ball and chain weighing me down. I loved the freedom of one-night stands and booty calls. Now I find myself wondering what it might be like to have one person that I can put my time and effort into. Cade has been in the process of reforming his past ways, why can’t I?
Once practice is finished, and my gear is packed up, I walk over to Geo who is rolling up a cable. “Hey, man, what’s up?” he asks, his dark eyes focused on me.
“You want to get something to eat?” My stomach has been rumbl
ing for the past hour, and all I can think of is shoveling as much food as humanly possible into my mouth.
He smiles politely. “Aw, man, that sounds cool, but I’m going to hang out with them for a little bit.” He motions with his chin toward the couches and the girls seated there. “You’re welcome to join if you’d like.”
“Naw. I think I’ll pass,” I say giving him a slight nod. “See ya later.” Grabbing my guitar case, I head out of our rehearsal space and to my car. After making a quick pit stop for a burger, I make my way home.
When I arrive, I can’t help but notice the unfamiliar eyesore of a Hummer parked outside of Emerson and Cade’s house. Mischa drives an Impala, and it isn’t one of the twins’. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I end up taking a few steps toward the car.
The front door of the house opens, and Emerson walks out with none other than Evan Driscoll. My heart immediately plummets as I race quickly toward my car, hoping they didn’t see me creeping. The pair walks leisurely across the grass and then ends up against the passenger side door. They are smiling and laughing, and Evan’s hands are comfortably resting on Emerson’s hips. What the hell? When did this happen?
I can’t move. I can’t stop gawking. I feel paralyzed even with the notion of my burger growing cold. It doesn’t take long for them to realize I am staring. Emerson blushes and pushes Evan away slightly before taking a few steps toward me. “Earth to Braxton.” She waves a hand in front of my face. My eyes shift back and forth between the two.
“When?” I ask simply, running through every imaginable scenario I can.
She shakes her head. “I don’t need to explain anything to you.”
Her words feel like a bee sting to the heart. “Okay then, but why him?” Emerson still has no clue why we worked relentlessly to keep her away from him. I never thought we’d ever have to justify it.
She laughs angrily. “I’m not doing this with you, Brax.” She turns to walk away when I grab her arm. She glances down at my grip. “Let go.”
“I can’t,” I reply simply. “Please don’t make me the bad guy.”
Emerson is only becoming more worked up. “So I’m going to break it down for you since it seems as though you have been having trouble understanding what I’m saying. You’re going to let go of me and back away. You’re going to go your way, and I’m going to go mine. You’re not going to meddle in my life anymore. You aren’t going to have a say. I am twenty-two years old, and I refuse to let you or my brother dictate anything else from here on out. I will be civil and friendly when I see you, but we aren’t friends, Brax. You’re just a next-door neighbor who wrongly believes he has a say in anything when it comes to me.”
Her words sting as they pierce my tough exterior. “Emerson,” I say softly, hoping she doesn’t mean everything she said.
She rips her arm from my grasp and then spins on her heel. Evan is rooted by his car, with an obnoxious smile plastered across his face. “Nice to see you too, Braxton,” he hollers my way.
I clasp my mouth shut, my teeth grinding.
“Now go run along and tell Cade. I know it’s what you are going to do anyway,” Emerson says in a sarcastic tone before climbing into Evan’s car.
Kicking the air, I curse as the car pulls away.
Evan has never cared for anyone or anything other than himself, his looks, and his popularity. When we were in high school, he told the entire football team that he was going to get in Emerson’s pants. He and Cade never got along, always butting heads and even getting into a few altercations. When Evan started showing an interest in Emerson, we knew it was because of his beef with Cade. There was no question about it. Now that he’s sniffing around her again, I don’t know his motive, but I know Cade will be pissed. For once though, I’m not going to tell him. I’m going to let Emerson figure this out on her own. I’m tired of her blaming me for things out of my control, or making me out to be more of an enemy than I am.
***
It’s been a couple of weeks since I found out about Evan and Emerson and his eyesore of a vehicle has been around a lot more often. She’s a stealth little one because I haven’t heard one mention about Evan from Cade, meaning that there is no way in hell he knows. I’m wondering how much longer she can go sneaking around with him before Cade finds out.
It's a Sunday, and I’m over at Red’s with the guys grilling burgers, hot dogs, and chicken. We haven’t done one of these barbecues in a long time, so it feels good to be back with family and friends. Cade arrived with Breigh twenty minutes ago, and people tried not to act surprised. He’s really trying, don’t get me wrong, but it’s only a matter of time before he slips up. We all know him.
“You invite anyone to this?” Cade asks me as he takes a swig off his beer.
I shake my head. “Nah. I’ve been taking a little break from dating.”
He scoffs, looking me up and down. “Bullshit.”
I shrug. “Okay, whatever you say.”
“Emerson should be here any moment,” Cade says.
“Cool.” I’ve found it’s best if I show no emotion at all when he refers to Emerson because then he doesn’t question me.
Walking away, I head toward Spencer who is on the grill. “Need a break?” I ask.
He glances at me, his eyes squinting from the sun and heat. “No, but I could use some company.”
I chuckle. “No problem, that’s what I’m here for.” I glance back at the tanned, dark-haired beauty leaning against the house. “So what did Cassi decide?”
Spencer sighs, rubbing the sweat from his forehead. He flips a few hot dogs before answering. “She’s going to UCLA.”
Instantly I feel bad for asking. I know he’s been anxious about where his girlfriend was going to end up going to college. He always knew there was a possibility it would be far from home. “That’s rough, man. Are you guys going to do the long-distance thing?”
Spencer pulls a few patties and chicken off the grill, and then glances around anxiously. “Can I trust you not to say anything?”
My face scrunches up. “Yeah, dude.”
“She asked me to go with her,” he says softly.
My eyes widen knowing just how much of an integral part of the band he is. “Are you going to?”
He shrugs, his shoulders rising. “We’ve been together for three years and have never spent more than a couple of weeks apart. Not to mention we live a few blocks apart. I don’t know if we could make it work from different states…”
I take a deep breath in, digesting just exactly what he is saying. “When do you have to decide by?” I ask.
He glances around at the other guys enjoying themselves and then back at me. “She’s starting fall term, which is September twenty-fifth.”
I try to downplay how surprised I am. “Oh, wow. That’s really soon, man.”
He nods. “I know.”
“Well, I guess you have a lot to think about. If you were to move, would you continue to play music out there?” I know I shouldn’t be upset with his answer, but it will sting knowing he can’t be in A Deafening Silence.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I really have to sit down and think through the logistics of everything and where I stand.”
“Have you told anyone else about this?” I ask curiously.
He shakes his head. “Just you. Don’t say anything to the guys, not until I make a decision.”
“No way, man!” I say. “That’s your deal.”
I don’t want to lose Spencer, much less replace him, but I know how much he cares for Cassi. At the end of the day, I know it’s going to be his heart making the decision.
Chapter Twenty-Nine:
Emerson
I’ve been hanging out with Evan now for a few weeks, and everything has been smooth sailing. I had forgotten how much fun he is to be around and go on adventures with. He’s always down for anything and so spontaneous it keeps me on my toes. Honestly, it makes me wonder why we couldn’t make it work the first time around.
/> He got us a gig playing extras on a local television show for the day, so we get to sit around for most of it and make close to a hundred bucks. It’s not a bad shtick. “What do you want to do when we get out of here?” he asks, sidling up next to me on the grass.
“Go home,” I reply lamely. “I have to start packing; I move in less than a week.”
“Do you want any company?” he asks, rubbing his hand softly up and down my arm.
I grin. “You know I love hanging out with you, but I haven’t spent much time with Cade or Mischa lately. I don’t have a lot of time left to spend with them before I move out. Plus, if you head straight home you might be able to make it before the sun sets.”