Deciding not to throw anything else on the fire, I go back to my suitcase to look for my sweats.
“Dude, we get to share a bed together, just like when we were in elementary!” Braxton cackles.
“If you even touch me wrong, I’ll kill you,” Cade snips, kicking his shoes off to the side of the room
“Oh, come on, man! Just a little cuddling. You know it’s good for the soul,” Braxton teases him.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from my throat and slips out my lips. Braxton’s eyes lock on mine instantly as he cocks his head to the side slightly. I can see the wheels turning. He’s trying to figure out if my laughing means we’re in a good place again. We’re not, but some things are just funny. Picturing Cade and Braxton spooning? Priceless.
I hear the bathroom door shut, and I glance up, noticing that Breigh is no longer in the room with us. She’s probably changing. Finally locating my sweats and a tank, I throw them onto my bed while I wait for a chance to change. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of skin, and my eyes follow it; Cade has taken off his shirt and stripped down to his briefs.
“Oh no, no, no, no,” I say, rushing toward him with my finger wagging back and forth. “Put some clothes back on.”
“No,” Cade replies like it’s nothing that he’s in his underwear. “This is what I sleep in, every night, you know that.”
I scoff. “Well, you’re not at home, and there are more people here than just you and me.” I motion with my head toward the closed bathroom door. “Come on, Cade.”
“What?” He chuckles. “You think she’s going to be offended by this?” He begins obnoxiously rubbing his hands down his chest when I see the door open and Breigh walk out in her pajamas.
When she catches a glimpse of what Cade is doing, in his tighty-whities, her eyes widen, and she covers her mouth as a laugh escapes. “What are you doing?” she asks.
Cade whips around, looking like a deer in headlights. I think he’s humiliated. For a few seconds, it’s a silent stare-off between Cade and Breigh. Breigh taking in his less-than-clothed self, and Cade is more than likely completely mortified.
Braxton jumps to Cade’s rescue. “Cade was showing us his best ‘Risky Business’ impersonation.”
Breigh puts her previously worn clothes on top of her suitcase and then turns back to the guys. “Then why isn’t he wearing a shirt?”
I giggle, knowing she’s not someone who can be easily worked over. She notices a lot more than people give her credit for.
Cade’s cheeks are flushed, and I decide to stop poking the bear by heading into the bathroom to change. As soon as the door shuts, I can hear Braxton coming up with some ridiculous excuse as to why Cade has no shirt on. I’m changed in less than two minutes and back out into the room. The sun is just beginning to rise, and I am about to face-plant onto the bed. Breigh is already under the covers, so I climb into the bed beside her and fluff the pillows behind my head.
“It feels weird that we are going to sleep when it is light outside,” Breigh comments.
“Yeah.” I shrug. “It’s kind of what you get used to on tour. You roll with the punches.”
“Shut up, I need my beauty rest,” Cade shushes us from his position in his own bed.
A few more chuckles ensue, but fairly quickly, most of us are out.
***
I don’t know what time it is when I wake up; all I know is the sun is seeping through the slits of the blinds and unfortunately, they are aimed directly at my eyes. I blink a few times, trying to wash away the blurriness before I roll over to see if Breigh is awake.
To my surprise, Breigh isn’t in bed. I roll back over, my eyes focusing on the other bed in the room. The sheets are ruffled and messed up, but again, no one is in the bed. Worried that I’ve overslept I reach for my phone on the nightstand. No missed calls or texts. It’s about two in the afternoon, and I know they have sound check around four thirty.
My hearing takes a couple of moments to catch up to the rest of my body, but when it does, I realize that the shower is on. Breigh is probably in there. I feel a little better knowing that they didn’t just leave me here all alone.
I decide to forgo a shower myself and instead throw on a pair of jeans, a black Glass Houses t-shirt, and my hair up into a ponytail. I touch up my makeup, and it only takes me about ten minutes for the whole thing.
Finally, I hear the shower turn off and someone stepping out and drying themselves off. Good, Breigh and I can get out of this room for a little bit and explore San Francisco. I know she still has a long way to go before she’s ready, so I get comfortable on the bed and turn on the TV. After a few minutes, the door to the bathroom opens, steam trickling into the room. To my surprise, it’s not Breigh at all on the other side of the door. Instead, a towel-clad Braxton is staring back at me. He tosses his head back, his brown hair flopping with it. Shivers crawl up my back.
“Braxton?” I say, more to myself than anything. If he’s here, where the heck is she? Better yet, where is my brother?
He grins back at me. “Don’t stare too hard, you might get attached.”
I scoff. “Yeah, right.” He looks downright tasty, but I’d never give him the satisfaction.
He pushes off the doorframe, closing some distance between us. He is now close enough that I can feel his breath on my face when he speaks. There are droplets of water left on his chiseled chest, and he looks like he just stepped out of a magazine ad.
The hairs all over my body are standing up, and I’m worried that I am visibly shaking. God, he is going to give me hell for this.
He leans over so that his lips are dangerously close to my ear. “What’s the matter, Em? Are you feeling okay?”
His breath tickles my ear and sends shivers down my spine.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice shaky.
“Nothing,” he replies, pulling away enough so I can see his face and then bats his eyelashes innocently. “I just love watching you squirm.”
I push him away, annoyed. Within seconds, Braxton has my back up against a wall, and he is pressing into me as he trails his mouth dangerously close to my ear. It takes a few moments for me to register what else I feel because I can barely catch my breath. Braxton is Cade’s best friend. I know he gets off messing with me… but he’s never taken it this far before, and I feel completely out of control.
I can feel the hardness of his erection through the towel. “Braxton,” I say, breathless, “you’re like my brother.” The minute the words leave my mouth, he pulls away from me.
“Geez, Em, way to take it there. I was only messing with you,” he says and then walks over to the other bed. He picks his suitcase up and tosses it on the bed.
Finally, I feel like I can breathe, but I’m now feeling a different anxiety altogether. “Do you know where Breigh and Cade are?” I ask.
Braxton glances up at me and grins. “Of course, they’re probably shagging.”
I groan. “Oh, grow up.”
I need some air.
Switching off the TV, I grab my wallet. “Well, if you see them, tell them I’m looking for them.”
Braxton nods in understanding as he reaches for his towel. “Better hurry up before you see something you might regret.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I toss over my shoulder.
***
There are a slew of emotions running through my entire body. Elation. Excitement. Fear. Anxiety. You name it, I’m feeling it. I can’t wrap my head around how Braxton acted, and even worse, I think I wanted it.
He’s been the boy next door for over ten years, and this is one of the first times I have ever felt this way about him. I want to put a finger on my thoughts and feelings, but I feel like a jumbled mess. Why now? Why, after not making a move for ten years, would he go there now?
He’s been off limits for as long as I’ve known him, and now the idea of seeing him any other way makes me feel a little sick. It puts a lot of pressure
on me. I know he played it off like he was just messing with me, but I felt it—the undeniable chemistry— and I know he had to as well.
A gust of wind blows my hair across my face, and I quickly pull it back so I can see. I feel like there is someone sitting on my chest. It’s tight and wound up. Finding a curb I can plop down on, I fall to the ground. A million thoughts are running through my head; it’s making me dizzy.
What if Braxton and I were to date? The idea of it sends shivers down my arms and spine. God, there are so many ways that could end up in disaster… Cade being almost every way. But there is something about the fear and unknown that pulls me in. I find myself wanting to know more about Braxton’s feelings.
I’m beginning to analyze our entire relationship, start to finish, looking for clues of any kind. Has his relentless pranks and torture been his way of flirting with me? All the hair on my arms stand up. What if he’s been a human barricade this whole time between me and guys not because of Cade, but because of a deeper feeling inside of him?
I’m conflicted. My heart is thumping wildly, and there are butterflies swarming my insides. Every time I think of Braxton pushing me up against that wall and his breath on my neck, it makes me giddy like a school girl. I can barely hide the smile that pulls at the sides of my lips. It’s as if I have a secret, and it’s juicy as hell.
Pulling out my phone, I open the picture gallery and scroll through it. I click on every picture of Braxton I have and look at them as if it’s the first time I’m seeing him… and maybe it is. It feels dangerous and exciting as I maneuver through the photos. I fan myself slightly, the heat of it all getting to me.
If I can get Braxton to agree to sleep with me, then I can lose my virginity and see if there is anything more to us all at once. It would seem like a win-win to anyone. Unfortunately for me, I have another half of my soul that I need to consider. Let’s be real though; I’m a twenty-two-year-old virgin with a cock-blocking twin and best friend. If I have sex with the best friend, then I only have one more obstacle standing in my way. Okay, maybe not the best logic. The thing is, I trust Braxton more than just about anyone in my life. When I think of being intimate with someone and what I want, it’s trust and honesty.
It feels desperate, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t imagine going another year as a virgin. Twenty-two is enough for me. I’ve never been this close; it’s never been this tangible before. A tidal wave of emotions is taking over me. I could actually lose my virginity in a safe environment with someone I trust. You can’t imagine how awkward it feels anytime I’ve gotten past kissing with a guy because it’s been so few and far in between. I never know what to expect. In a way, it’s an experience each and every time, but more than anything else, I just want to know what I’m doing in the bedroom. It feels strange saying it, but I like the idea of how experienced Braxton is. I like that he could dominate me and teach me things all in the same breath. The idea gives me goosebumps.
Am I really considering this, though? A shudder runs through my body. Hell yes, I am.
Chapter Fourteen:
Braxton
What the fuck was that?
I don’t even know how to explain what just happened, and I’m not sure I want to. I mean, sure I love messing with Emerson, but this was…different. Something about her innocent nerves turned me on.
Don’t get me wrong, she’s always been a looker. It’s subtle because she’s not feminine and girly, but her beauty is all natural.
Throwing my head into my hands, I groan. I definitely overstepped today, and I’m not sure what that is going to mean for our relationship moving forward. I don’t want her to be scared of me, and I definitely don’t want Cade getting wind of this. He’d beat the shit out of me, no question.
I’m still in my towel, and unfortunately, still hard. Glancing at the door, I hop up quickly and deadbolt it, making sure no one will be able to get in with their key. I need some privacy to jerk myself off. Not to mention the fact that I basically just assaulted my best friend’s sister with my hard-on. My thoughts are all over the place.
Fifteen minutes later, I emerge from the room, showered, dressed, and feeling good. I have sound check in an hour and a half, and I still have no idea where anyone is. Pulling out my phone, I send a group text to my bandmates.
Where are you guys?
I make my way over to the room Spencer, Geo, and Red are staying in and knock. After a few moments, it’s apparent no one is there either. I grip my phone tighter, irritated that no one has bothered to let me know where they are. I’m starving at this point, and just want to get something in my stomach before sound check.
My phone finally buzzes, and it’s Tom, his text says they are at a pool hall a few blocks down from the motel, having a few drinks and playing. While I love the game, my rumbling stomach is hard to ignore. Dialing Cade’s number, I am hoping he picks up. He does on the fourth ring.
“Hello?” he answers.
“Dude, where are you?” I ask.
“I’m just getting some food,” he replies.
I sigh. “Oh, good, I’m starving. Where are you at? I’ll come meet you.”
There is an awkward pause before Cade responds, “Actually, we’re almost done.”
“We?” I repeat. “Who are you with?”
He clears his throat. “Breigh.”
I chuckle. “That didn’t take long.”
“Shut up,” he snaps.
“Hey, have you talked to your sister?” My stomach tenses up from the thought.
“No, last time I saw her was this morning in the room.”
I nod, even though I know he can’t see the small gesture. “Alright. Well, I guess I’ll see you for sound check.”
“Yeah, we’ll be back in a little bit.”
“Okay, have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I say and then hang up. I don’t know why I said it, as I know I overstepped my boundaries today.
I end up back at the room, sprawled out on the bed, flipping through channels. After finding a magazine filled with coupons, I locate a nearby pizza restaurant that delivers and place an order for a large pepperoni and sausage. They say it will be forty minutes. It’ll be cutting it close, but I’m hangry.
I hear someone at the door and then Emerson’s blond head emerges. My stomach begins doing sickening flops. “Hey,” she says simply once she’s inside and sees it’s just me.
“Did you find them?” I ask. The last thing she said she was doing was going to find Cade and Breigh. I know from talking to Cade that they were out to lunch, but I wonder if she ever did meet up with them.
She shakes her head, her long blond hair swaying from side to side. “Neither one of them answered their phones. Have you talked to Cade?”
I nod. “He said they are on their way back.”
She sits down on her bed. “I wonder what they’ve been doing all day.”
I shrug. Sitting up straighter, I glance her way. “I do want to talk about what happened earlier…I don’t know what got into me. I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
Emerson looks relieved. Anything I can do to smooth out the awkwardness between us will be helpful. “Thanks,” she says simply.
“Sometimes I forget that you’re my best friend’s sister,” I say, throwing my arm behind my head.
She stares back at me through lowered lashes. “And if I wasn’t?”
I’m caught off by her question. “If you weren’t his sister?”
She nods, shyly.
I gulp down the nerves rising in my throat. “If you weren’t his sister, then all bets would be off.”
Her cheeks are tinged pink, and she breaks our stare. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t.”
I know she doesn’t mean it, although they bicker sometimes, they love each other more than anything else in the world. She would never trade that bond for a possible romantic connection. Cade will always come first, and I respect that. Just like Emerson will always come first for him. “You don’t k
now what you’re saying.” I sigh. “I’m not a good guy, Em.”
She stares back at me, doe-eyed. “That’s what you want people to believe. People who won’t take the time to see that there’s a deeper level to you. But I know you; I know that deep down you care, and you’re actually semi-decent.”
“Semi?” I ask, somewhat offended.
She giggles and then pushes her hair out of her eyes, instantly becoming quiet and reserved. “Brax, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I think I want my first time to be with you.”
I choke on my saliva. “Excuse me? Do you mind repeating that slowly?”