“I didn’t have time to buy a ring,” he told her, “but I thought you’d rather pick one out yourself. Go to any jeweler you want and have them send me the bill. Buy a nice big diamond—money’s no problem. All I’m concerned about is making you happy.”
Norah froze and closed her eyes at the unexpected stab of pain. Rowdy just didn’t realize. No woman wanted to pick out her wedding ring alone, but she doubted he’d understand that.
“I never meant to fall in love with you,” she said when she could speak again.
“I didn’t mean to fall for you, either,” he admitted gruffly. “Heck, I didn’t even know what love was. I liked Valerie and I missed her when she was here with you and Steffie during your father’s surgery, but—” he shrugged “—love had nothing to do with it.”
“What are you saying?”
“I thought I loved Valerie. I know how angry I got when I learned she was marrying Colby Winston. The fact is, I did everything I could to get her to change her mind. My ego took a beating, thanks to your sister.”
Norah grinned at the memory. Rowdy wasn’t accustomed to losing, and it had sorely injured his pride when Valerie defied him.
“What I realized,” he continued, “was that even if Valerie had broken off the engagement, I wouldn’t have offered to marry her.” Norah had already known that but made no comment. Rowdy sought out her gaze. “I was never in love with your sister. I might have believed I was at one time, but I know what love is now.”
“You do?”
Rowdy nodded. “I’m not the marrying sort—fact is, I never thought I’d ever want a wife, but damn it all, Norah, you’ve got me so confused I’d be willing to do just about anything to make things right between us. I’m offering you what I’d never offer your sister or any other woman. If nothing else, that should tell you how serious I am.”
Tears ran unabashed down her cheeks.
“Say you’ll marry me, Norah,” he coaxed.
Norah reached for another napkin and dabbed at her cheeks. “I…felt so lonely when Valerie and Steffie fell in love. It was as if the whole world had someone, but me.”
“Not anymore, Norah. We have each other.”
“Do we?” she asked softly. Rowdy was making this so difficult. “You’ll have me, but who will I have? Who’ll be there for me?”
His eyes revealed how perplexed he was. “I will, of course.”
“How can you possibly ask me to be your wife when you already have one?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Rowdy returned impatiently. “I’ve never been married in my life. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I don’t know where you heard anything so outlandish, but it isn’t true.”
“It isn’t a woman I’m talking about, Rowdy, it’s CHIPS.”
He shook his head and frowned at her. “What are you talking about?”
“You and I aren’t speaking the same language when we say love. To you CHIPS is everything. It’s the one thing you really love—your family, your wife, your children. Your emotional security.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying!”
“But I do! I’ve seen it happen over and over again. From the moment you were admitted to the hospital. Karen and I had to practically set up roadblocks in order to give you time to convalesce. Your corporate attorney was waiting outside the hospital door practically the instant he learned about your accident. You even had your own phone installed. Remember what a panic you went into the day word leaked out that you’d been in a plane crash?”
“I’m not likely to forget it. Stock in CHIPS dropped two points.”
“You acted as if the world was coming to an end.”
“You would, too, if you had a hundred million dollars at stake,” he argued.
“Don’t you understand?” she pleaded. “You don’t have time in your life for anything or anyone else. Not me, not a family. No one.”
Rowdy tensed. “What do you want from me, Norah? Blood?”
“In a manner of speaking, I guess I do. You can’t go on the way you have been, working so many hours, not taking care of yourself. Eventually you’ll collapse. As far as I can see, you’re a prime candidate for a heart attack a few years down the road. I know you’ve got a management team, because Valerie was part of it, but you don’t let them manage—you do it all yourself.”
“I’m a candidate for a heart attack? You’re just full of warmth and cheer, aren’t you?”
“I need to explain my feelings. I don’t want to sound so pessimistic, but I’m worried about you.”
“I wouldn’t be too concerned if I were you,” he muttered sarcastically. “I’ve got an excellent life insurance policy, and since you’re so worried, I’ll make sure you’re listed as the beneficiary. Revise my will, too.”
“Oh, Rowdy, for heaven’s sake. I don’t want your money, I want you.”
He shrugged in apparent unconcern. “You wanted to be realistic? I’m only complying with your forecast of gloom and doom. And if I’m such a poor health risk, you’d best marry me now. The sooner the better, since my time’s so limited.”
“How can you joke about something like this?”
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
He was purposely misunderstanding everything she was trying to say. “What’s important in life isn’t things. It’s people and relationships. It’s the two of us building a life together, raising our family, making time for each other.”
“Family,” he repeated as if he’d never heard the word before. Sighing, he sagged against the back of the chair. “I should have known you’d want children. Okay, we’ll work around that. I’ll say yes to a child, but we stop at one, boy or girl. Agreed?”
Norah was too dumbstruck to respond.
Rowdy glanced at his watch, scowling. As usual, he was on a tight schedule, Norah thought wryly. He needed an answer and he needed it now. The luxury of his presence would always be limited, even to her.
Norah felt as though the whole world was crashing down around her. It was going to break her heart to refuse him, and what made it all the more painful was that she doubted Rowdy would ever really understand. He’d view her as irrational, demanding, sentimental.
“I’ve never wanted anything more in the world,” she said, trying desperately to keep the emotion from her voice. She leaned toward him and pressed her hand to his face, then gently kissed his lips.
Rowdy seemed surprised by her display of tenderness. “I’ll make the arrangements with a jeweler,” he said, preparing to leave. He reached for his crutches.
“Rowdy,” she said quietly.
He must have heard a telltale inflection in her voice, because he looked back to her. She watched as he read the message in her eyes.
The air between them went still and heavy. “You’re turning me down, aren’t you?”
She slowly exhaled, closing her eyes, and nodded.
Rowdy threw his Stetson on the table in disgust. “I should’ve known you were going to do this,” he shouted.
She sniffled and said, “Despite what you’re thinking, this isn’t easy for me.”
“The heck it isn’t.” He stood and in his rush to leave, dropped one of his crutches, which frustrated him even more. Before he could prevent it, the second slammed to the floor and he slumped back down in the chair.
“I want a husband. It takes more than a few words said before a preacher to make a marriage.”
“But you aren’t going to marry me, so there’s no need to belabor the point, is there?” He managed to pick up one crutch, and with it was able to retrieve the second. He obviously wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible, moving awkwardly through the cafeteria. She followed close behind.
“You got what you wanted—what you were after in the first place. You worked everything out well in advance, didn’t you?”
“Worked out what?” A sick feeling attacked Norah’s stomach.
He paused to look at her, his expression cynically admiring. “
I have to hand it to you, Norah Bloomfield, you’re quite the actress. Am I right in guessing that you worked all this out beforehand so I’d make a fool of myself proposing and you’d have the pleasure of turning me down?”
“Rowdy, that isn’t true.” Shocked, she trailed him out of the cafeteria. “It’s just that I’d never be content with the leftover pieces of your life, with a few minutes here and there.”
“Then it’s best to know that now, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but—”
“You’re fighting a losing battle, sweetheart. I suggest you drop it. CHIPS made me what I am today, and I’m not about to give up my company just so you can lead me around by a ring through the nose.” He jammed his thumb against the button to summon the elevator.
“I don’t want you to give up CHIPS,” she protested, but he cut her off.
“Why is it we’re discussing all your wants? Frankly, they’re overwhelming.” He held himself away from her, leaning heavily on his crutches and staring at the floor numbers above the door.
When the elevator arrived, Norah stepped back and let Rowdy enter. With some difficulty he did so, then turned to face her. If he was surprised she hadn’t followed him inside, he didn’t reveal it.
“Goodbye, Rowdy.”
“It is goodbye, Norah. Don’t worry about me. I plan on having a great life without you.”
The elevator doors glided shut, and she brought her hand to her mouth to hold in a cry of pain. Deliberately, she removed her hand, as if she were throwing him a farewell kiss.
“How is she?”
Valerie’s voice drifted through the cubicle door. Norah could have answered for herself. She’d been emotionally devastated, but she was much better now.
Although Norah had returned to the emergency room, she wasn’t in any condition to work. Not knowing what to do, her supervisor had called Colby, who was on duty.
Colby had tried to listen, but hadn’t been able to understand her, she was crying so hard. Her incoherent attempts to explain had merely frustrated him. Apparently he’d phoned Valerie, and she’d rushed to the hospital.
“She should go home, but I don’t think she’s in any shape to drive,” Norah heard Dr. Adamson tell her sister.
Everyone was making it seem far worse than it was, Norah thought grumpily. Okay, so she was a bit weepy when she got back from lunch. And it was true that she hadn’t been able to speak too clearly, which made her cry even more with frustration. But everything was under control now—well, almost everything.
“Norah?” Valerie knocked on the door of the emergency-room cubicle before letting herself in.
“Hi,” Norah said, raising her right hand limply. “I’m doing much better than Dr. Adamson would have you believe.”
“Colby’s the one who’s so concerned. He’s never seen you like this.”
“I don’t think I have, either,” she said, making an effort to smile. A pile of crumpled tissues lay on the gurney beside her. “I’m sorry everyone was worried about me, but really I’m fine. Or at least I will be in a little while.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Norah shrugged and reached for a fresh tissue, clenching it tightly in her fist. “There’s not that much to tell. Rowdy dropped in unexpectedly and asked me to marry him. I…didn’t feel I had any option but to refuse.”
Valerie looked as if she suddenly needed to sit down. “Let me see if I’ve grasped this correctly. Rowdy—Rowdy Cassidy—actually proposed to you?”
Norah nodded.
“He asked you to marry him?” Valerie asked incredulously.
Again Norah nodded. “I don’t know why—he doesn’t have time for me in his life. He…he wanted me to pick out my own engagement ring.”
“I don’t get it,” Valerie said, frowning. “I thought you were in love with him.”
“I am, and I’m sure he loves me—as much as Rowdy’s capable of loving anyone.”
It was as though Valerie hadn’t heard her as she began to pace the tiny cubicle. “Every single person who saw you and Rowdy at Steffie’s wedding was convinced your engagement would be next.”
“He’s already married—to CHIPS,” Norah whispered sadly.
“So?”
“Don’t you understand?” Norah cried, disappointed in her sister. She’d expected sympathy from Valerie, not censure.
“I guess I don’t,” Valerie admitted reluctantly. “What do you expect him to do—resign from the company, give up everything he’s worked so hard to achieve all these years?”
“No…of course not.” Norah felt shaken. All along she’d assumed she was right, but Valerie was forcing her to question her own actions.
“Now isn’t the time to worry about it,” Valerie said soothingly. “Dr. Adamson asked me to drive you home. You’re much too upset to work.”
“But what if—”
“Don’t worry, Colby said he’d get someone to cover for you.”
Norah didn’t even get a chance to finish. She’d started to say What if Rowdy calls and I’m not here? But he wouldn’t phone. Norah would have staked her career on it. He was much too angry—he’d told her their goodbye was final.
Someone must have called her father, because David was standing at the door waiting when Valerie pulled into the driveway in front of the house. He poured Norah a stiff drink, told her to sip it slowly and then advised her to nap.
Norah did so without argument. She must have been more exhausted than she realized; she didn’t awaken until late the following morning.
Valerie was speaking to her father when Norah walked down the back staircase into the kitchen. They stopped talking when she appeared. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what they were discussing.
“Well,” Norah said casually, “what did you two decide?”
“About what?” her father questioned.
“Me. And Rowdy.”
“There isn’t anything for me to decide,” David said, exchanging a knowing smile with Valerie. “You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’ll sort out what’s best for you.”
Norah wished she shared her father’s confidence. Rejecting Rowdy’s marriage proposal was the right thing to do—wasn’t it? Good grief, he didn’t even have half an hour to look for an engagement ring with her! Their marriage would be a continual battle of wills. She could fight another woman for his affections, but she was defenseless against a company he’d built from the ground up, a company that was his whole life. She had no choice but to make a stand now or be miserable later.
Ten days passed, and Norah lived with a constant sense of expectation. But she wasn’t sure what she was waiting for. Rowdy had made it plain that she wouldn’t be hearing from him again.
Her father, too, seemed stricken with a feeling of hopefulness. More times than she could count, Norah saw him sitting on the porch, his gaze focused in the distance as if he was waiting for someone to come barreling down the long driveway.
“He isn’t coming, Dad,” Norah said one evening after dinner. She brought him a cup of coffee and sat down on the front step near him.
“You’re not talking about Rowdy, are you?”
“Yes, Dad, that’s exactly who I’m talking about.”
“I don’t expect he’ll come. He’s got too much pride for that. Can’t say as I blame him. Poor fellow’s head over heels in love, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. I feel sorry for the poor chap.”
“He was furious with me. He might have loved me at one point, but he doesn’t now.” She was sure that Rowdy had completely blotted her from his mind.
“Isn’t he going to be out of his cast soon?”
Norah had to stop and think. She tasted the coffee, hoping its warmth would chase away the chill she felt whenever she thought about Rowdy. Her life seemed so lonely, so cold without him.
“If I remember right, he should’ve had the cast removed on Monday.” She didn’t envy his physical therapist. Rowdy Cassidy would be a cantankerous a
nd difficult patient.
As they were talking, Norah noticed a thin trail of dust rising from the driveway. Her father saw it, too, and Norah watched him relax, as though a long-awaited visitor had finally arrived. But Norah didn’t recognize the car—or the driver.
Not until Earl Robbins climbed out of the car did Norah remember who he was. Rowdy’s employee. The one who was heading up CHIPS Northwest.
“Hello again, Norah,” he greeted her, closing his door and walking toward the porch.
“Hello,” she said, trying to disguise her puzzlement. She introduced her father, and as she did so, tried to imagine what had brought Robbins to see her. A sense of panic filled her when she realized something must be wrong with Rowdy.
“Is Rowdy all right?” she asked, hoping he didn’t hear the near-hysteria in her voice. “I mean, he’s not ill, is he?”
Robbins glanced toward David and shook his head. “I’m here because of Rowdy, but I don’t want you to worry. To the best of my knowledge, he’s in fine health.”
“Take the young man into my den,” her father instructed. “I’ll see about getting some iced tea, unless you’d prefer coffee or something stronger.”
“Iced tea would be fine,” Robbins said with a grateful smile.
Norah directed him into her father’s den and closed the door, leaning against it with her hands behind her as she tried to compose herself.
“Valerie suggested I come and talk to you,” he explained, pacing as he spoke. “To be honest, I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing. I do know that Rowdy wouldn’t approve of my being here. He’d have my job if he knew I was within fifty miles of this place.”
If Earl Robbins didn’t feel the need to sit down, Norah did. She sank onto the ottoman and clenched her hands. “How is he?” she asked, hungry for news of him.
Robbins ceased pacing. “Physically I’d say he’s on the mend. The cast is off, and he’s walking with the aid of a cane. He’s more mobile than he was, which helps—but not much.”