She tried not to think about Alek, tried not to dwell on how much she missed him. Or the mistakes she’d made in her brief marriage. Sooner or later she’d have to get in touch with him. She needed to tell him about the baby. And to thank him. Phoenix Paints had taken the market by storm. A national television network had called today wanting to do a news piece on the ideas behind the innovative paints.
She owed Alek so much and she’d treated him so poorly.
She hadn’t asked Anna his whereabouts since that first morning. His sister didn’t volunteer any information about Alek even when Julia asked. Julia didn’t think Anna had forgiven her yet for hurting her brother.
She pressed her hand to her stomach and whispered, “Your daddy is a wonderful man, Junior. He’s going to love you so much.”
She took another bite of the celery stalk and turned the page of her text. Labor and delivery. She’d read this chapter first, the same night she’d bought the book, wanting to learn everything she could on the subject.
When she did deliver Junior, she hoped Alek would be there to coach her. From what she’d seen of Jerry, he wouldn’t last ten minutes in a delivery room. And Virginia wouldn’t be able to take watching her in pain, Julia was convinced of that.
When she’d finished her snack, Julia moved into the living room to exercise. She turned on the television and inserted the low-impact prenatal aerobics DVD. Ten minutes later she was huffing and puffing and sweating enough to dampen the gray T-shirt she wore.
“I hope you appreciate this,” she told the baby.
After a full thirty minutes, she went into the kitchen, got a glass from the cupboard and gulped down some water. After that, she grabbed a pencil and marked the schedule posted on the refrigerator. Anna thought it was a diet sheet and it was. Sort of. Julia listed the food she ate, plus her water intake. Eight glasses a day, no excuses.
That was another interesting aspect of her condition. Her life was now ruled by how long it would take her to reach a bathroom. She’d considered having one installed in her office because it was so disruptive to hurry down the hall every hour, and sometimes more often. The eight glasses of water didn’t help matters.
She was feeling better, though, and for that Julia was grateful. The first couple of weeks after Alek had moved out she’d felt as if she were living in a nightmare. She did what needed to be done, performed her duties, ate, worked and slept, but did it all with a low-grade sense of dejection—and with an air of expectancy. She couldn’t seem to let go of the idea that Alek would come into her office one day the way he used to. It was the hope of seeing him again, of telling him about the baby, that had kept her going. That and, of course, her happiness about the baby.
The doorbell rang and Julia ripped the sweatband from her forehead. It was probably Jerry, who’d taken to checking up on her in the evenings.
But it wasn’t. When she opened the door, Alek stood before her, looking more furious than she’d ever seen him.
Thirteen
“Alek.” Julia couldn’t say anything more. He looked wonderful, while she must have resembled a towel that had been sitting at the bottom of the dirty-clothes hamper.
“I just heard you’re pregnant. Is that true?” His eyes were hard as granite. He was furious with her and didn’t bother to disguise it.
“It’s true.”
“You might have told me. I played an important role in this event.”
“Yes, I know, it’s just that…” She realized she’d left him standing in the hallway outside the condo. Opening the door wider, she said, “Come inside, please.”
“You weren’t going to tell me about the baby?” He was frowning.
“Of course I intended to tell you!”
“When?”
“Would you care to sit down?”
“No, just answer the question.”
Julia ignored the demand in his voice. “Would you like something to drink?”
“Just answer the question!”
“There’s no reason to yell. I was going to tell you, how could I not? This baby is as much a part of you as of me. How could I keep something this important from you?” She hoped that would appease him.
“That’s my question exactly.” Alek’s hands were knotted into fists at his sides. Julia wanted to think that meant he was restraining himself from holding her—not simply expressing his frustration.
She started to walk into the kitchen. He hesitated, then followed her. She poured a glass of water for him and then one for herself and set them down on the kitchen table.
“Anna knew?”
“No. I couldn’t tell her. I was afraid she’d say something to you.” Her explanation didn’t satisfy him; if anything, his scowl darkened.
Julia pulled out a chair and sat. Alek did, too. Avoiding his probing eyes, she lowered her gaze to her water glass. “I’m drinking two quarts of water every day now. Eight full glasses… I’m keeping track of my intake on that sheet on the fridge.”
“The baby needs water?”
“In a manner of speaking, I guess, but actually it’s me the doctor’s concerned about.”
“Why is the doctor concerned?”
She hadn’t said this to alarm Alek. It was just conversation, a way to ease the tension between them. “I’m perfectly healthy, Alek. Don’t look so worried.”
“Then why is your doctor concerned?”
“That’s her job. She keeps a close eye on my health and the baby’s. So far I’m having a perfectly normal pregnancy. That’s what my doctor says. So does the book.” She reached across the table for the manual she’d read from cover to cover three times over. “Junior’s doing just great.”
“Junior?”
“That’s what I call him…or her.”
The anger had faded and in its place Julia saw a love and devotion so deep it wounded her. To think she’d abused that love and mistrusted his word. Her throat grew thick. Tears filled her eyes.
“Julia.”
She looked away. “Don’t worry, it’s all part of this pregnancy thing. I’m very emotional. The other night I started crying over a TV ad.” She didn’t tell him it was the one for Phoenix Paints. The tears had come because she’d realized how much she missed her husband.
Alek passed her his handkerchief.
“Thanks.” She dabbed her eyes. “Look on page fifty-three. It explains why a woman’s more likely to cry when she’s pregnant.”
Alek flipped through the pages until he found the one she’d mentioned. He scanned the text and nodded.
“How have you been feeling?”
She shrugged. “All right, I guess. I don’t get sick in the mornings the way most women do. I usually get nauseous around three-thirty in the afternoon. I don’t know why I bother with lunch since it comes right back up again.”
“Have you had any other problems?”
“No,” she was quick to assure him. “Actually, I’ve been feeling great. And the nausea should be over soon.” She smiled. “You’ll be proud of me. I’ve been eating well, with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables.” She stopped when she noticed the way he was staring at her. “Is something wrong?”
Alek’s eyes left hers and he shook his head. “Never mind.”
“No, tell me, please.”
He hesitated and Julia felt a jolt of fear. She’d read about this, in the very book that rested on the table between her and Alek. Some men were turned off by their wives during pregnancy.
“You are more beautiful than ever,” Alek whispered.
Julia bit her lower lip and a sigh trembled through her.
“That disappoints you?”
“I’m not beautiful, Alek. Judging by the way Jerry and my assistant are constantly fussing over me, I must look awful.”
Emotion produced a second quivering sigh. “I’ve missed you so much,” she admitted. “I wanted to tell you about the baby right away.… I learned I was pregnant the afternoon you moved out. I came home from the doctor’s office t
o find you packing.”
“And you didn’t tell me then?” he bellowed.
“Would it have changed anything if I had told you?” she asked calmly.
“Yes,” he answered, then lowered his gaze. “I don’t know.”
“I’d hurt you and was hurting so badly myself. If I’d told you about Junior then, I was afraid it might sound like blackmail.”
“You realize now that I would never betray you?”
“I knew it then, I always knew it…in my heart. I just did a poor job of showing you. I couldn’t get past my own fears.” A tear ran from the corner of her eye. “No words can ever express how sorry I am for the pain I caused you. When we got married, I didn’t expect to fall in love with you. I’d steeled myself against it. I’d been in love once before and, as you know, the experience cost me and others dearly.
“A green-card marriage seemed workable. I was determined not to involve my heart, but day after day you treated me with love and affection, chipping away at my defenses no matter how much I fortified them.
“When Ruth died… I don’t think I would’ve survived that time without you. Your comfort and love meant the world to me. I’ll always treasure our day at the beach.”
She stopped to catch her breath and to keep her voice from cracking. “This much is a fact—I love you, Alek, and I’m deeply sorry for the pain I caused you. I swear I’ll never doubt you again.” Tears fell unheeded from her eyes.
“Don’t cry, Julia.”
She noticed he didn’t call her my love the way he so often had in the past. Covering her face with her hands, she wiped away the moisture, expelled a sigh and forced herself to smile. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me for contacting Roger?”
“If you can forgive me for letting my pride stand in the way.”
“Your pride? Oh, Alek, I trampled over it a hundred times, and still you loved me. I didn’t know how to deal with love and I made so many mistakes.”
“I made my own mistakes.”
“I asked Anna about you countless times, but she refuses to talk about you. I don’t think she’s forgiven me for hurting you.”
“Ah, my sister,” Alek said slowly. “She played the same game with me. I asked her about you so often, she finally told me that if I was so curious, I should go ask you myself.”
“She was right, you know. Neither of us had any business putting her in the middle, pumping her for information about the other.”
“I agree. But I still don’t like it that you didn’t tell me about our baby.”
Julia thought her heart would melt at the tender way he said baby. Alek was going to be a wonderful father. She hadn’t gone into this marriage with any great expectations; she hadn’t thought she’d be married long, despite her undeniable attraction to him. Falling in love with Alek had come as a delightful surprise.
His gentleness, his patience, his comfort had seen her through that bleak time surrounding Ruth’s final days and the dark weeks that followed. Without him, she would have become lost and tormented. How wise of Ruth to recognize the type of man Alek was. To recognize that he would become her compass, guiding her toward happiness.
“I would’ve eventually found a way of getting in touch with you,” Julia said. “Soon, too.… I don’t know how much longer I would’ve been able to keep this baby to myself.” She stopped talking, realizing Alek had come to her because he’d learned of her condition. Slowly she raised her eyes to his. “Who told you I was pregnant?”
If Jerry had known where Alek was all this time, she’d have a few words to say to him.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”
“All right, if you must know, a private detective told me.”
“You hired a detective to—”
“No, Jerry was the one who did the hiring. A man named Peck. Your brother thought it was my right to know about the baby.”
It didn’t escape Julia’s notice that he still hadn’t referred to her as his love.
“I see,” she said. “And now that you know, what do you expect to happen?”
He frowned. “That depends on several matters.”
“Yes?” she pressed when he didn’t elaborate. “What sort of matters?”
“I’ll expect to be a major part of our child’s life.”
Julia nodded in full agreement; she was hoping he’d be a major part of her life, too. “I’d like that. Is there anything else?” she asked when he didn’t continue.
Alek seemed to need time to think over his response. “I’d very much like to be your husband,” he finally said, “to live with you and love you and perhaps have another child. Would this be agreeable to you?”
She threw her arms around his neck with such fervor that she nearly toppled the chair he was sitting on.
“Be careful, my love….”
“Say that again.” She choked out the words through her tears. “Call me your love. Oh, Alek, I’ve missed hearing that so much. Wait, kiss me first.” She had so many requests he obviously didn’t know which one to comply with first. It didn’t take him long, though, to direct her mouth to his.
“My love.”
“Oh, Alek.”
“Julia.”
Their names were trapped between two hungry mouths. Between two eagerly beating hearts.
Their mouths strained toward each other. Julia felt the emotion rise within her. She’d missed him so much, more than she dared to admit even to herself. He was speaking to her in Russian, short snatches of words between frantic kisses.
She tightened her arms around his neck.
He surprised her by standing and carrying her into the bedroom. “You are so romantic,” she told him, languishing in his arms.
“I plan to get a whole lot more romantic in about thirty seconds.” His intentions were clear as he lovingly placed her on the bed.
“Oh, good.… Hurry, Alek, I’ve needed you so much.”
He stripped while she watched him, marveling at his maleness and his readiness for her. Sitting up, Julia struggled out of her T-shirt and tossed it aside. Her tennis shoes came next. “I really should shower,” she commented as the spandex pants flew in the opposite direction.
“No time now,” Alek said. “Later, we’ll shower together.”
“But I just finished a workout.”
“And you’re about to start another,” he said.
Long minutes later, they were exhausted, panting in each other’s arms, their bodies linked, their hands and hearts entwined.
“I love you, Alek.”
“You are my love,” he returned as their bodies thrilled, excited and satisfied each other.
Julia slept in her husband’s arms afterward, her head on his chest. When she stirred into wakefulness, she found his hand pressed against her abdomen and heard him communicating in whispers to his child. Since he was speaking Russian, she could only speculate on what he was saying.
He noticed her looking at him and smiled shyly. “I told him to be good to his mother.”
“Him?”
“A daughter would please me just as well.” He smiled. “Someday a young man will come to me and thank me for having fathered such a beautiful daughter. Wait, and you’ll see that I’m right.”
“Someday a young woman will come to me and tell me our son is totally awesome, or whatever expression is popular at the time.” She wrinkled her nose. “They change every few years, you realize.”
“I sometimes go crazy with the things you Americans say. Your strange idioms and slang—they’re constantly changing.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll catch on. I’ll help you.”
“Awesome,” he said with a mischievous grin.
They showered and Julia dressed in a thick terry-cloth robe and padded barefoot into the kitchen. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starved.”
Alek grinned again. “I see your appetite has increased.”
It was true. “I suppose i
t has.” She opened the refrigerator and took out a container of ice cream and served them both large bowls.
“Should we call Jerry?” Julia asked. “We seem to owe him a great deal.”
“No, I don’t want to share you with anyone just yet. Tomorrow will be soon enough. We’ll invite him and Anna,” he said, and Julia nodded delightedly.
They sat in the living room, cuddled against each other, eating their ice cream. “The late news is on,” Julia commented. “Okay with you if I turn it on?”
“Of course.” He took the empty bowl and set it aside. Then he brought her back against him. His roving hands distracted Julia from her intention and she gasped at the sensation that shot through her.
“I keep up with current events as much as I can,” she said, trying to get her mind off the subject at hand. “I missed the earlier newscast because I had a doctor’s appointment.”
Alek’s eyes widened with concern.
“It was the dentist, don’t worry.” She leaned forward to pick up the remote control. The screen flared to life just as the sportscaster began the latest update on the Mariners. It was heavenly to sit quietly with Alek’s arms around her.
“I will take our son to baseball games,” Alek announced, “and the library.”
“I hope you intend to take your daughter and your wife while you’re at it.”
“Whoever wishes to go,” he said, as though their family was already complete and they were making ordinary, everyday plans.
Julia smiled to herself.
After the sports news, they watched the five-day weather forecast. “I hope it rains every day,” Alek whispered close to her ear. “That way I can keep you in the apartment, or better yet, in our bed.”
“I’ve got news for you,” Julia whispered, kissing his lips, still cold from the ice cream. “You don’t need an excuse to take me to bed. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m crazy about you.”
“I noticed,” he said with a satisfied smile. “And I approve.”
Soon they were kissing again. They would have continued, Julia was certain, if the newscaster hadn’t returned to announce the breaking news stories of the day.