“That’s an intelligent way of looking at it.”
Lesley went silent again and he saw pain in her eyes and wondered at the cause. He was about to question her when she spoke again.
“Other than Christine, is there another woman who made an impression on you?”
“Several. A female plumber who let me know she doesn’t, uh, mind kinky sex.”
The look that came over Lesley was very prim and proper. “I see.”
“And Bunny, who has four children under the age of six.”
“Oh, my goodness.”
“She was looking for someone to help her raise her kids and was honest about it. Her ex-husband abandoned them nine months ago.”
“The creep.”
Chase agreed with her. “I don’t understand how a man can walk away from his responsibilities like that. What he did to Bunny is bad enough, but to leave those beautiful children…”
“She brought them?”
“No, I asked to see a picture. They’re cute as could be. I felt sorry for her.” He didn’t mention that he’d given her enough money to fill her gas tank so she could get home and paid for a week’s worth of groceries. She hadn’t asked, but he could tell she was in dire financial straits.
“You aren’t interested in a woman with excess baggage?” she asked, almost flippantly. Though he’d only known Lesley a short time, he already knew it wasn’t like her to be so offhand. He suspected something else was bothering her.
“Bunny’s a good woman who didn’t deserve to be treated so badly by the man she’d loved and trusted. The divorce was final less than a week ago. Bunny, and the children, too, need more love and help than I could give them. To answer your question, no, I don’t object to marrying a woman with children.”
Lesley was silent for a long time after that. “My dad left us,” she finally said in a small voice.
Chase chose his words carefully, not knowing how to comment or if he should. “It must have been very hard.”
“I was only six and we were going to Disneyland. Mom had worked a second job in order to save extra money for the trip. Dad took the money when he left.”
“Oh, Lesley, I’m sorry.”
The look in her eyes became distant, as if she were that six-year-old child, reliving the nightmare of being abandoned by her father all over again.
“I know I shouldn’t have blamed myself. I didn’t drive my father away, but for years I was convinced that if I’d been the son he wanted, he’d never have left.”
“Have you had any contact with him since?”
“He called when I was fifteen and wanted to see me.”
“Did you?”
She nodded. “After being so bitterly hurt, I didn’t have a lot of hope for our meeting. It’s funny the things a child will remember about someone. I always thought of my dad as big and strong and invincible. When we met again nine years later, I realized he was weak and selfish. We had lunch together and he told me I could order anything I wanted. I remember I asked for the most expensive thing on the menu even though I didn’t like steak. I barely touched the steak sandwich and took it home for our dog. I made sure he knew he’d paid top dollar to feed our collie, too.”
“What made him contact you after all those years?”
Lesley sighed. “He seemed to want me to absolve him from his guilt. He told me how hard his life had been when he was married to my mother and had a child—me—with all the responsibilities that entails. He claimed he’d married too young, that they’d both made mistakes. He said he couldn’t handle the pressures of constantly being in debt and never having money to do the kinds of things he wanted to do.
“That’s when I learned the truth. My dad walked out on my mother and me because he wanted to race sports cars. Imagine, driving a sports car meaning more to him than his wife and daughter.
“You might think badly of me, but I wouldn’t give him the forgiveness he was seeking—not then. It wasn’t until later, in my early twenties, when I learned he’d died of cancer, that I was able to find it in my heart to forgive him.”
“I don’t know how any fifteen-year-old could have forgiven someone who’d wounded her so deeply,” Chase said, reaching for her hand. She gripped his fingers with surprising strength and intuitively Chase knew she didn’t often share this painful part of her childhood.
She offered him a brief smile and picked up her drink.
“Did your mother ever remarry?”
“Yes,” Lesley answered, “to a wonderful man who’s perfect for her. You’d have to meet my mother to understand. She has a tendency to be something of a curmudgeon. It took her a long time to find the courage to commit herself to another relationship.
“I was out of high school before she married Ken, although they’d dated for years. She never told me this, but my guess is that Ken said either they marry or end the relationship. I don’t think he would’ve followed through on the threat, but it worked.
“He and Mom are both retired. They live on a small ranch in Montana now and really love it.”
“They sound happy.”
“They’d like a couple of grandkids to spoil someday but—” Lesley stopped abruptly and her face turned a soft shade of pink.
“But what?” he inquired.
“Oh, nothing.” She shrugged, looking decidedly uncomfortable. “It’s just something Daisy said to me this afternoon. And…she might be right.” Her voice faded.
“Right about what?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly.
Whatever the subject, it was obvious that Lesley wasn’t going to discuss it with him.
“Will you be meeting more women tomorrow?” Lesley asked.
Chase nodded with little enthusiasm. “I should never have agreed to that news story. The phones have been ringing off the hook ever since. There’s no way I could possibly interview eight hundred women in two weeks’ time.”
“Eight hundred!”
Lesley sounded as shocked as he’d been when he’d heard the original number of five hundred. Since the story had aired, three hundred additional calls had poured in.
“That’s…incredible.”
“Just remember, I haven’t met a single one I like better than you.”
Lesley laughed. “You’ve already heard my answer to that.”
“I don’t have much time in Seattle, Lesley. Less than three weeks. I need to make some decisions soon. If you’d be willing to marry me, I’d promise to be a good husband to you.”
“Hold it!” she said, raising both hands. “Back up. I’m not in the market for a husband. Not now and possibly never again. Men have done some real damage to my heart, starting with my father and most recently Tony. I don’t need a man in my life.”
“True, but do you want one?”
She hesitated. “I don’t know.”
“It’s something to think about, then, isn’t it?”
“Not right now,” she answered, her voice insistent. “I don’t want to consider anything but having fun. That’s my goal for this summer. I want to put the past behind me and get on with life in a positive way.”
“I do, too,” Chase assured her, and it was true in a more profound way than she probably realized.
“I baked cookies this morning,” she said. “It was the first time in months I’ve wanted to bake anything.”
“I don’t suppose you saved any for me?”
Lesley smiled as if she knew something he didn’t. “There’s a full cookie jar reserved for you.” She suddenly recalled that she’d said Kevin and Eric could have them. She’d have to compromise. “Well, half a cookie jar,” she amended.
Chase couldn’t remember the last time he’d tasted home-baked cookies. “This calls for a picnic, don’t you think?”
“Paradise.”
He frowned. “Do I have to wait that long to try these cookies of yours?”
“No, silly. Paradise is in the national park on Mount Rainier. There’s a lodge there and several tra
ils and fields of wildflowers so abundant, they’ll take your breath away.”
“Sounds like Alaska.”
“It’s one of my favorite places in the world.”
“Let’s go, then. We’ll leave first thing in the morning.”
“You can’t,” she said, with a superior look.
“Why can’t I?”
“Because you’ll be interviewing a prospective wife. Eight hundred prospective wives to be exact.”
Chase cursed under his breath and Lesley burst out laughing. Only then did Chase see any amusement in his predicament. What she didn’t seem to understand, and what he was going to have to prove, was that he’d willingly leave all eight hundred prospects behind in order to spend time with her.
The sun had barely peeked over the horizon when Chase arrived. Lesley had been up for an hour, packing their lunch and preparing for their day. Her hiking boots and a sweater were in a knapsack by the door and the picnic basket was loaded and ready for Chase to carry to his rental car.
“’Morning,” she greeted him.
“’Morning,” Chase returned, leaning forward to kiss her.
The kiss seemed instinctive on both their parts. A kiss, Lesley noticed, that was exchanged without doubt or hesitation.
Suddenly their smiles faded and her lungs emptied of air. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. She was inches, seconds, from walking into his arms before she caught herself.
Chase, however, felt no such restraint and reached for her, pulling her toward him. Even with her mind crying no, she waited impatiently for his mouth to touch hers.
His lips were gentle, as if he were aware of her feelings.
“I love it when you do that,” he whispered, kissing her neck.
“Do what?” she asked, sighing deeply.
He groaned. “You just did it again. That sigh. It tells me so much more than you’d ever be willing to say.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She tried to ease away from him, but felt his breath warm and moist against her throat—and couldn’t move. His fingers loosened the top button of her blouse.
“I…I don’t think this is a good idea,” Lesley murmured as he backed her against the door. He braced his hands on either side of her head, his eyes gazing into hers.
“I don’t want you to think. I want you to feel.” He kissed her then with the same wicked sweetness that had broken her resolve seconds before. She sighed, the same sigh he’d mentioned earlier, and regretted it immediately.
“Lesley, I don’t know what to do.” He leaned his forehead against hers.
“Kiss me again.” She held his face with her hands, buried her fingers in the thickness of his hair and directed his lips back to hers. By the time they drew apart, both were panting and breathless.
For a moment neither of them said anything. “I think you might be right,” he finally said with reluctance. “This isn’t such a good idea, after all. One taste of you would never be enough. I’m greedy, Lesley. I want it all. It’s better not to start what we can’t finish.”
He reached for the picnic basket and took it outside. Lesley felt weak and shaken. She wouldn’t have believed it possible for any man to evoke such an intense reaction with a few kisses.
Her knees were trembling as she grabbed her knapsack and purse and followed him out the door. Chase stored her things beside the picnic basket in the trunk. He helped her into the passenger seat and got into the car a moment later, waiting until she’d adjusted her seat belt before he started the engine.
Neither of them had much to say on the long drive to Paradise. Lesley had planned to play the role of tour guide as she had previously, pointing out interesting facts along the way, but changed her mind. She was going to mention that Mount Rainier National Park was one of the first parks ever established—in 1899. But it wasn’t important to tell him that, not if it meant disturbing the peaceful silence they shared.
Lesley loved Mount Rainier and the way it stood guard over the Pacific Northwest. The view of the mountain from Seattle was often breathtaking. Her appreciation increased even more when she saw the look in Chase’s eyes as they drove the twisting road through the forest-thick area. He surprised her with his knowledge of trees.
“Everyone recognizes a Douglas fir when they see one, don’t they?” he teased.
“No.”
They stopped at a campsite and took a break. When Lesley returned from using the facilities, she saw Chase wandering through the mossy, fern-draped valley. She joined him, feeling a sense of closeness and solemnity with Chase, as though they were standing on holy ground. The trees surrounding them were tall and massive, the forest a lush green. Breathing deeply, Lesley felt the fullness of beauty standing there with him. The air was sharp, clean, vibrant with the scent of evergreens.
Chase took her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. “Are you ready?” he asked.
Lesley nodded, uncertain what she was agreeing to, and for once in her life not caring.
They got back in the car and in companionable silence traveled the rest of the way to Paradise. Since they hadn’t eaten breakfast, Chase suggested they have their picnic, which they did. He finished the chocolate chip cookies she’d brought for him, praising them lavishly.
Afterward, Lesley put on her boots and they walked the trails through the open, subalpine meadowlands, which were shedding their cold blankets of snow.
“You know what I love most here? The flowers, their color, the way they fight through the cold and stand proudly against the hillside as if to say they’ve accomplished something important,” Lesley said as they climbed up the steep path.
“The flowers respond the way most of us do, don’t you think?” Chase asked.
“How’s that?”
“They respond to life. To the power and force of life. I feel it here and you do, too. It’s like standing on a boulder and looking out over the world and saying, ‘Here I am. I’ve done it.’”
“And what exactly have you done, Chase Goodman?”
He chuckled. “I haven’t figured it out yet, but this feeling is too good to waste.”
She laughed. “I know what you mean.”
They hiked for a couple of hours, and ascended as far as the tree line. The beauty of the hills and valleys was unending, spilling out before them like an Impressionist painting, in vibrant hues of purple, rose and white.
After their hike, they explored the visitor center, then headed back to the car.
Lesley was exhausted. The day had been full and exciting. Over the years, she’d visited Paradise countless times and had always enjoyed herself, but not the way she had today with Chase. With him, she’d experienced a spiritual wonder, a feeling of joy, a new connection with nature. She couldn’t think of a logical way to explain it any more than she could say why his kisses affected her so strongly.
When they arrived back in Seattle, Eric and Kevin, Daisy’s two boys, ran out to the car to greet them.
“Hi, Lesley,” Eric, the oldest boy, said, eyeing Chase.
“Hello, boys. This is Chase.”
Chase cordially shook hands with the youngsters. “Howdy, boys.”
“You’re sure big. Even bigger ’n Lesley.”
Lesley wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not.
“We came to see if you had any cookies left.”
“Mom said you might have some more,” Kevin chimed in.
“Yup, I saved some for you.”
“But don’t forget she made them for me,” Chase said. “You boys should make sure I’m willing to share the loot before you ask Lesley.”
“She used to make them for us. So we’ve got dibs.”
“You gonna share or not?” Kevin asked, hands on his hips, implying a showdown if necessary.
Chase rubbed the side of his jaw as if giving the matter consideration.
“Those boys bothering you?” Daisy shouted from the front door.
“We just want our share of Lesley’s cookies before Chase ea
ts ’em all.”
“I’ll buy you cookies,” Daisy promised, throwing an apologetic look at Lesley. For her part, Lesley was enjoying this exchange, especially the way Chase interacted with the two boys. Tony had treated Daisy’s sons as pests and shooed them away whenever they came around. Although he worked with children, he had little rapport with them outside the classroom.
“We don’t want any store-bought cookies,” Eric argued.
“Don’t try and bake any, either, Mom, not after last time.” He looked at Lesley, and whispered, “Even my friend’s dog wouldn’t eat them.”
Lesley smothered a giggle.
“Will you or won’t you give us some cookies?” Eric demanded of Chase.
Chase himself was having trouble not smiling. “I guess I don’t have much choice. You two have a prior claim and any judge in the land would take that into account.”
“Does that mean he will or he won’t?” Kevin asked his brother.
“He will,” Eric answered. “I think.”
“But only if you help us unload the car,” Chase said, giving them both a few things to haul inside.
Lesley emptied the cookie jar, setting aside a handful for Chase, and doled out the boys’ well-earned reward. While Chase was dealing with the picnic basket, she absently checked her answering machine.
“Lesley, it’s Tony. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and thought we should get together to talk. April’s out of town this week visiting her mother, so give me a call as soon as you can.”
Lesley felt as if someone had just hit her. Instinctively her hands went to her stomach, and she stood frozen in a desperate effort to catch her breath.
She turned slowly around, not knowing what to do, and discovered Chase standing there, staring at her.
Five
“Well,” Chase said, studying Lesley closely. “Are you going to call him?”
“No.”
“You’re sure?”
He seemed to doubt Lesley and that upset her, possibly because she wasn’t sure. Part of her wanted to speak to Tony. School had been out for more than a week now and she was starved for the sight of him. Admitting her weakness, even to herself, demanded rigorous, painful honesty. Tony was married, and it sickened her that she felt this way.