“No one is ruining your life,” Mrs. Pudding said. “We want you to have a special sweet-sixteen party. In fact, your father and I bought you a very nice present. And Homer went to town last week to shop for you, didn’t you, Homer?”
This time, Homer flinched. He’d gone to town to buy Gwendolyn’s birthday present—that much was true. But he’d taken his shovel and metal detector with him and, well, because the detector kept beeping and because Homer kept digging, he forgot all about Gwendolyn. The search for a birthday present wasn’t as interesting as the search for treasure, even though that day’s treasure had turned out to be nothing but a bunch of rusty tin cans.
“Uh, yeah, I got a present,” Homer lied. He’d go shopping that afternoon, as soon as he’d finished his chores.
Gwendolyn peered at Homer through her long brown bangs. “You got me a present?”
“Yep.” He stuffed a whole pancake into his mouth, just in case she asked any more questions.
Gwendolyn smiled wickedly. “If you bought my present, then it’s hidden somewhere in the house, isn’t it? I bet I can find it.”
“Gwendolyn Maybel Pudding,” Mrs. Pudding said. “You’ll have to wait for your party to open your presents. Now sit down and eat your breakfast.”
Huckleberries burst in Homer’s mouth as he chewed the pancake. His mind raced. What kind of present do you get a moody sister who spends her summer days stuffing dead squirrels and gophers? A gift certificate to Ice Cream World didn’t seem quite right.
Just then, barking arose in the yard. Max, Gus, and Lulu, the farm dogs, were upset about something. Dog, who’d been licking syrup from Squeak’s fingers, scurried to the kitchen door and joined in the barking. “What’s all the ruckus?” Mr. Pudding asked.
A knock sounded on the kitchen door. Mr. Pudding pulled his overall straps over his shoulders and went to answer it. “Well, hello there,” he said. “What are you doing here?”
The rest of the Pudding family turned and looked toward the open doorway, but Mr. Pudding was blocking their view. It wouldn’t be the mail lady, Homer thought, not on a Sunday. Maybe it’s one of the neighbors.
“Good morning,” a voice said. “I say, is Homer up and about? I have rather important news.”
Homer’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that voice.
2
A Once-in-a-Lifetime opportunity
A man stepped into the kitchen. He tucked his long black hair behind his ears and looked around. His gaze landed on Homer.
Homer scrambled out of his chair. “Hi, Ajitabh.”
Ajitabh (pronounced AAAH-jih-tahb) did not return Homer’s smile. He narrowed his dark eyes and ran his hand over his thin mustache and pointy beard. A doctor of inventology, Ajitabh was a fellow member of L.O.S.T. He’d been a trusted friend of Homer’s treasure-hunting uncle, who had died earlier that year, and was now Homer’s trusted mentor. The rest of the Pudding family knew Ajitabh from the Milkydale County Fair, where Dog had led a wild chase that resulted in the destruction of the beloved gunnysack slide. Ajitabh, inventor extraordinaire, built a new and improved slide, to everyone’s approval.
“Hello, Homer.” His tone was serious. He leaned over to pet Dog. “Hello, Dog.” Dog thwapped his tail against Ajitabh’s leg.
Mrs. Pudding hurried over to the cupboard and grabbed a plate. “You’ll join us for breakfast?” She set it on the table, but Ajitabh shook his head.
“That would be delightful, but time is of the essence,” he said.
“What’s your important news?” Mr. Pudding asked.
“Quite right.” Ajitabh rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, then reached into the back pocket of his khaki pants and handed an envelope to Homer. “It’s an invitation.”
Homer half expected the envelope to be secured with a L.O.S.T. seal, but that wasn’t the case. The envelope was as plain as could be—no seal, no return address, nothing. He opened it and pulled out a piece of paper.
“What is it?” Mrs. Pudding asked.
Homer read the letter aloud.
To: Homer W. Pudding
Pudding Goat Farm
Grinning Goat Road
Milkydale
From: Lewis Dimknob, Royal Cartographer
Map of the Month Club Headquarters
Boulevard of Destinations
The City
Congratulations, Mr. Pudding.
Your name has been drawn at random from our list of subscribers. I am pleased to inform you that you have been awarded a VIP tour of our headquarters. This tour is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that will not be offered again.
We eagerly await your arrival on Monday, August 20, at noon precisely.
Signed,
Lewis Dimknob, Royal Cartographer
“Wow,” Homer said. “This is really cool. I love the Map of the Month Club.”
“VIP?” Gwendolyn grumbled. “How come Homer keeps getting these VIP invitations, huh? What’s up with that?”
This was, in fact, Homer’s second VIP invitation. VIP stands for “very important person.” The first invitation had come from the Museum of Natural History and had led Homer to the discovery of Madame la Directeur’s lair and a near-death escape from a man-eating tortoise. This invitation sounded a bit safer. “Can I go?” Homer asked. “I’d really like to go.”
“August twentieth is tomorrow,” Mrs. Pudding said worriedly. “That’s not much notice.”
“Sincerest apologies,” Ajitabh said in his lilting accent. “As a board member of the Map Club, I was asked to deliver the invitation last week but was waylaid by circumstances beyond my control.” He shot a serious glance at Homer. “We need to leave immediately, old chap.”
Homer looked yearningly at his father. Was the boredom of August about to end?
“How long will he be gone?” Mr. Pudding asked.
“A bit of uncertainty there,” Ajitabh said. “The Map of the Month Club’s library alone covers three floors. I have reserved a room for us at a very nice City hotel. I’ll act as Homer’s guardian. You needn’t worry about a thing.”
“It sounds like a wonderful opportunity,” Mrs. Pudding said to Ajitabh. “Homer loves maps. He’s always loved maps. But he’ll need to be back for his sister’s sweet-sixteen party. It’s a week from today.”
“Righteo. That shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I can go?” Homer beamed, the corners of his smile nearly reaching his ears. But Ajitabh didn’t smile. His eyebrows knotted as if troubling thoughts were twisting them. Why wasn’t he happy? Homer stepped closer to Ajitabh. And why didn’t he smell like cloud cover? Homer glanced out the kitchen window. Instead of a cloudcopter, Ajitabh’s usual method of transportation, a black limousine sat in the driveway.
“You can go,” Mr. Pudding said. “But Gwendolyn will have to cover your chores.”
“No way!” Gwendolyn blurted out, her cheeks turning red. “Homer gets to go on another vacation and I’m stuck here doing his chores? I’m too busy to do Homer’s chores.”
“I’ll do Homer’s chores,” Squeak offered.
“I’ll make it up to you when I get back,” Homer told his sister. “I’ll do your chores for a whole extra week.”
Gwendolyn chewed on her lower lip, her eyes narrowed in thought. “You really want to go?”
“Yes.”
“Then tell me where you hid my present.”
“Gwendolyn Maybel Pudding,” Mrs. Pudding said. “You will wait until your birthday to open your presents, and that is final.”
“Fine!” Gwendolyn pointed at Homer. “But he’s doing my chores for an entire month.”
“Agreed,” Homer said. He held back a sigh of relief. He’d expected to do his sister’s chores for an entire year.
“I’ll help you pack,” Mrs. Pudding said.
If Homer had packed on his own, he would have reached into one of his drawers, grabbed some random clothes, then stuffed them into a backpack as fast as he could. But Mrs. Pudding didn’t want her son
going anywhere without clean underwear and socks. “Wait,” she said as he grabbed the backpack. “You almost forgot your toothbrush.” She slid it into one of the backpack pockets. “You’ll get cavities if you don’t brush.”
Homer didn’t care if moss grew on his teeth. He just wanted to jump into that limo with Ajitabh and get off the farm.
“I had dreams of becoming a cartographer,” Mr. Pudding was telling Ajitabh when Homer hurried back into the kitchen. “Homer gets his love of maps from me.”
“Let’s go,” Homer said, grabbing Dog’s blue leash.
After hugging everyone good-bye, except for Gwendolyn, who’d disappeared, Homer flew down the front porch steps. With a grunt and a heave, he pushed Dog into the limousine. Then he climbed in and settled on the soft leather seat. Ajitabh climbed in next to him. “Drive on,” Ajitabh said. The driver’s outline was blurry through the dark glass panel that separated the front and back seats. The engine started.
“Did you bring your coin?” Ajitabh asked.
Homer reached under his shirt, where a coin hung from a chain. It was his official membership coin with the letters L.O.S.T. engraved on one side and a treasure chest engraved on the other side. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”
The goats turned to watch as the limousine headed down the Pudding driveway and onto Grinning Goat Road. Homer looked back at the house. Mrs. Pudding and Squeak waved from the front porch. Mr. Pudding headed toward the barn. But why was Gwendolyn standing in Homer’s bedroom window? She didn’t wave or smile. Was it because he got to go on a little vacation and she didn’t? He’d be sure to bring her back a nice birthday present.
“Hey, Ajitabh,” Homer said as Dog settled at his feet. “Why do I need my membership coin if we’re going to the Map of the Month Club?”
“By Jove, we aren’t going to the Map of the Month Club. The invitation is fake. I lied to your parents.”
“You lied?” An eerie tickle crept up Homer’s spine. “Then where are we going?”
Ajitabh frowned. “Homer, I’m afraid I’m the bearer of some bad news.”
Also by Suzanne Selfors:
To Catch a Mermaid
Fortune’s Magic Farm
Smells Like Dog
CONTENTS
Front Cover Image
Welcome
Dedication
Epigraph
Author Note
PART ONE: MILKYDALE
1. Destiny
2. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part I
3. Secrets Beneath the Bed
4. Gwendolyn’s Laboratory
5. Opening Day of the Milkydale County Fair
6. The Worst Fortune Ever
7. The Black Rabbit of Doom
8. An Errand of Utmost Importance
9. The Treasure Hunter’s Tailor
10. Sticks and Stones
PART TWO: GLOOMY MOOR
11. The Writer’s Warning
12. To Zelda’s Trinket Shop
13. Hercules Simple
14. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part II
15. Leech-Proof Socks
16. The Lost Membership Convenes
17. The Return of a Friend
18. The Making of an Enemy
19. The Name From the Hat
20. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part III
PART THREE: LOFTY SPIRES
21. The Palace of the Gods
22. A Horde of Simpletons
23. The Box of Clues
24. Chaos in the Coliseum
25. The Gladiator’s Treasure
26. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part IV
PART FOUR: MUSHROOM ISLAND
27. Into the Wide Blue Yonder
28. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part V
29. Falling Through the Sky
30. Beached Boys
31. The Forest of Holes
32. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part VI
33. The Scent of Honey
34. Tunnel to Nowhere
35. The Cave of Crystal Music
PART FIVE: THERE AND BACK AGAIN
36. Rumpold Smeller the Boy, Part VII
37. The Membership Coin
38. Cave Woman
39. Lord Mockingbird’s Secret
40. Back to Milkydale
41. It’s Official
42. Rumpold Smeller the Pirate
Current Roster for the Secret Society of Legends, Objects, Secrets, and Treasures
Acknowledgments
A Preview of Smells Like Treasure
Also by Suzanne Selfors:
Copyright
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2011 by Suzanne Selfors
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permission
[email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Little, Brown and Company
Hachette Book Group
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Second e-book edition: April 2012
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ISBN 978-0-316-12628-1
Suzanne Selfors, Smells Like Treasure
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