She'd been raised on fear, fear of shifters, fear of anyone different. Fear that there was always someone out to get her and that she had to be hypervigilant at all times. Maybe it was true and maybe it wasn't. But that didn't mean Lola had any idea how to function out there.
She remembered a time when she was just a normal girl, before her mother married her stepfather. She remembered having friends and the soccer team and how it felt to be included and involved with her community.
It was everything that she wanted again. If she could only get back to those days. Maybe she could learn to become the woman she was meant to be. Maybe she could heal all of this darkness and find the light that still remained in her soul. That's when she thought of the man she'd been matched with on Mate.com.
Who was he? Why had he asked her to wait for him? She would never know now since Justin had taken her phone away. He’d probably even erased her account. She would never have a chance to find her mate again.
Her mother had told her she had a good heart, and that she was pure and good and kind. Lola's mother was that way too, from what she could remember anyway. Why she'd married a man like Justin's father, Lola still didn't understand.
Justin's father had been a powerful member of the human community. He didn't hold any positions in town, but he did have the ear of a lot of people. He was the leader of an anti-shifter motorcycle gang back then. And was already cooking crystal when Lola's mother married him. Lola didn't think her mother ever knew about his drug activity until right before her death. They were really nothing alike.
Her mother had succumbed to Justin's father's charm. And she had lost her life for it. Lola was convinced that her mother's death was not an accident. But she could never prove it.
Justin was so much like his father he might as well be a clone of the man. In fact, Justin was worse. Part of her believed that it was Justin who had actually killed her mother. Perhaps it was at her stepfather's command, but she somehow knew that it was Justin who pulled the trigger.
She walked further into the forest, her dark thoughts swirling in her mind. She couldn't push them away, even in the beauty of the wood. The tall evergreen trees and the animals who lived in the wood were her only comfort. She loved the quiet peaceful sounds of the birds chirping in the boughs overhead and the squirrels chattering with their pine nuts and acorns.
She looked at a soft blanket of pine needles and wistfully thought of lying down and allowing herself to be absorbed back into the earth. What was there to live for anymore? She was damned no matter what she did. She could stay with Justin and remain a hostage or she could leave and be an uneducated, homeless ex-criminal. No matter what she did, there was no salvation.
She knelt on the ground, her empty pail in hand as she slowly spread herself out over the pine needles. She looked up into the sky, the blue expanse rose through the green canopy of the forest. It was so bright and open. It was as if she could be anything in the face of that magnificence.
She closed her eyes, feeling her body merge with the cool damp ground below her. She wanted to let herself go, to be absorbed into the planet. She wanted to be absolved from all that she had done and contributed to. She wanted to forget her fear and cowardice. She just wanted to be whole again.
"Are you okay?" a male voice said above her.
She snapped her eyes open and saw the new guy blocking out her view of the sky. She scrambled to her feet, fearing the worst for both of them.
"What are you doing here? I told you, you're not allowed to talk to me."
"I saw you walk off into the forest. When you laid down on the ground, I got worried. I'm sorry. I should leave you alone."
Lola felt some kind of attachment to him that she never would have expected. She’d never felt anything like that with any of Justin's other henchmen.
She reached out to him and caught his arm before he walked away. It felt solid and strong, not the arm of a man who took drugs habitually. He turned back to her, his brown eyes blazing with inner truth and goodness. She looked up into his face, seeing only pure intentions.
She let go of his arm, not knowing what had gotten into her. She folded her arms over her chest and glanced down at the ground, breaking her eye contact with the new guy.
"What's your name anyway?" she asked him.
"You can call me Cody," he said.
She looked up at him again. She didn't know how she knew it, but something about the way he'd said his name told her that it wasn't really who he was. Maybe it was a middle name or a nickname for something. That's what she told herself. He was one of Justin's men and therefore someone she had to stay away from.
She couldn’t ignore the magnetic draw she felt toward him. It was as if all she wanted to do was fall in his arms and weep out all her sorrows. She somehow knew he could absorb them. Maybe even help her.
It was an irresistible feeling; one she could barely contain. He looked at her again, those soulful eyes gazing into hers with so much concern and empathy it made her heart weep for everything she had been missing.
"Cody," she breathed. "There's something about you."
"You probably hear this all the time, but…you are irresistible."
His words came out as if he was trying to hold them back with every bit of strength in his being.
"I better go,” she said.
Instead of running away, she took a step toward him and leaned up into his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist. Cody wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Before either of them could think, their lips were touching. His warm, sweet breath blew against her lips, ever so gently as she pushed harder against him.
She needed to feel him. She needed his strength to carry her through. This one moment. This one kiss. All of her lust and longing erupted within her. The passion between them broke free like a river that had been dammed for thousands of years. She groaned, flicking her tongue between his lips.
He met her passion with his own, returning her kiss and taking it to new depths. Their tongues danced and their breaths mingled.
It was as if the stars had come out in the daytime, bursting around them like fireworks. This was everything. This was it. She would give her life to feel this for just one more moment. And she did.
But then she pushed away.
"That can never happen again," she said. She ran away from him so fast, she completely forgot her huckleberry bucket.
Chapter 9
Gauge looked down at Lola's berry bucket, wondering again what the hell he was doing. He couldn't keep his bear from growling inside his mind. Every instinct in him told him that the most and only important thing was protecting Lola. He'd had enough. This investigation was over. Now all that was left to do was make sure that she was out of the line of fire when the Bear Patrol moved in.
He had a secret signal inside his analog watch, installed by Damien before he'd left. When he opened the watch and hit the switch, the Bear Patrol would be alerted to his location. The beacon would inform them that it was time to move in with full force.
The Fate Mountain Police Department had its own helicopter and the Bear Patrol would be here within minutes of him giving the signal. He’d had enough of watching his mate suffer. He refused to take it a moment longer. But he had to be sly about how he addressed this situation. He couldn't just barge into her tent and tell her to come with him if she wanted to live.
He had to do this subtly. He needed her cooperation and that meant telling her the truth. He had to believe that his mate would trust him when she had all the information.
Obviously, she was as affected by him as he was by her. She'd kissed a stranger in the woods, knowing full well how dangerous it was for her to even speak to a man.
If Gauge told her what was going on, he knew she would trust him. She had to. He picked up her bucket, a plan forming in the back of his mind. He saw the purple stains of huckleberry along the edges of the bucket. She’d probably come out to pick more berries.
Their encounte
r had scared her off, and now she would go without. Gauge didn't intend to ever let her go without anything ever again. He took the bucket and continued into the forest, his own sentry duties not starting for another few hours.
He found the leafy bushes full of purple fruits and began to pluck the berries one by one and place them in the bucket. Soon he had a pretty impressive haul, if he said so himself. Being a shifter meant that his heightened senses could always pick out the closest berry patch.
He hefted the bucket, inspecting its contents. This would probably be enough berries just to satisfy his mate for today. His plan was to write a secret note and put it at the bottom of the bucket, telling her that he was here to help her. And that she needed to meet him in the woods that night. It was the only way that he could even imagine getting close to her.
He pulled a pencil, a piece of paper, and a plastic baggie out of the many pockets on his survivalist clothing and wrote a short note. When he was done, he put the note in the Ziploc bag and buried it at the bottom of the bucket.
As he approached the compound, and emerged from the cover of the forest, he looked around to make sure no one was watching him. He walked across the open yard in front of the cave and ducked into the tent area, on the way towards the latrines.
With a shifter-quick tilt of his arm, he put the bucket of huckleberries inside Lola's tent and continued walking without even slowing down. When he made it to the latrine, he turned and scanned the area again. The sentries above him were pacing back and forth in their lookouts, and didn't give him a second look. No one had come out of the cave to confront him, and there weren't any people milling about the camp.
He went into the outhouse that reeked of shit and piss and closed the door. He waited there for several moments before leaving again.
Outside, he hurried into the sentries’ tent and lay down on his cot as if he were taking a nap. His clock alarm went off when it was time for him to go to his post.
Gauge swung his legs over the side of his cot and grabbed his rifle before heading out to his sentry post. As he was changing places with the other sentry, he noticed Justin Lockheart walking over to Lola's tent. Gauge had to control his inner polar bear. It had a ravenous hunger to protect his mate and could not abide the sight of Justin Lockheart approaching her tent.
Chapter 10
“What were you doing in the woods?” Justin asked her, looking down at the full berry bucket on her table.
She had no idea where it had come from. Then remembered that she had left her bucket in the woods with Cody. The new guy, who she’d kissed. He must have filled her bucket with berries just to give them to her. Didn't he realized that if he tried to flirt with her that her stepbrother would shoot him in the face?
“I was picking berries,” she said.
Justin shoved his hand into the bucket and pulled out a massive handful. Lola frowned. What was with the men around here. Couldn’t they get their own berries?
She felt grateful and a little bit charmed by Cody’s effort. She really had wanted some berries since it was some of the only fresh food that she ever got to eat.
“I don’t want you leaving the compound for any reason. Even berries,” he said, taking another massive handful. If he kept this up, there wouldn’t be any left. “I don’t like the way the new guy looks at you. Has he tried to talk to you again?”
“No. I don’t talk to anyone but you or Chris.”
“Chris is a good man. One of the few men worthy of my sister.”
Lola cringed inwardly. Chris had been a childhood friend, but the years since elementary school hadn’t been kind to him. He was as thin and sickly as the rest of the crystal addicted men in the compound.
“I’ll remember that,” she muttered.
“Just watch yourself, Lola. You’re already on thin ice.”
“Sure thing, bro,” she said, giving him a mock salute.
He glared at her and left her tent.
She absentmindedly shoved her hand into the bucket of berries, grabbed a handful, and shoved it in her mouth. The sweet burst of berry flavor rolled over her tongue and she moaned at the sweetness.
There was so little sweetness in her life that the flavor of wild berries was enough to do her in. That thought alone made her want to cry. Just realizing that she had a life so deprived of joy that a handful of wild berries was the most she had to look forward to for an entire year.
She slumped in her chair and put her head in her hands. She couldn't do this anymore. The small act of kindness by the new guy, warmed her heart and melted away the pieces of herself she had kept frozen for so long.
Angrily she slammed her fist into the bucket, sending berries flying across the room.
Tears streamed down her face. She put her head in her hands, weeping silently into her palms. When she finally looked up again, she saw a plastic baggie covered in huckleberry juice. There was a folded piece of paper inside. What the hell was that? She stood from her folding chair and walked across the small tent to kneel and pick up the plastic bag.
She opened it and pulled out the folded paper. After she unfolded it, she saw what had been written.
"I am here to help you. Meet me at the same place tonight when the guards change shifts."
It had to be Cody. She felt so much for him that she could not explain. Maybe it was because she had been alone on this mountain for so long and no one spoke to her and no one showed her any kindness.
The slightest suggestion of kindness toward her was enough to make her feel there was some kind of attachment or connection between them when there probably wasn't.
Lola slid the note into her pocket and began picking up the berries. She felt stupid for having knocked the bucket over in a moment of weakness and anger. She had always prided herself on having some type of emotional control. That was something that was important in the family she belonged to. Justin and her stepdad were both crystal addicts and could act crazy at the drop of a hat. Lola was a lot like her mother, the port in the storm.
Just thinking of her mother filled her with anger and fear. They'd found her mom’s body in the forest, shot in the back of the head with an unmarked weapon.
Part of her knew that if she stayed in this place any longer, she would suffer the same fate. Fear was keeping her here, but she would have to draw on the courage she needed to escape. Maybe this Cody guy really was here to help her. Or maybe he was manipulating her and wanted to rape and murder her in the woods for fun.
Either way, she couldn't take it anymore. She was becoming unwilling to take any more of Justin's abuse. Maybe she’d gained her newfound courage from the kindness Cody had showed her. Or maybe it had been hiding inside her all along.
She intended to meet Cody in the woods tonight when the guards changed posts. She at least wanted to know what he had to say.
Waiting for the changing of the guards was like torture for Lola. She stayed in her tent all day and into the night, avoiding speaking with anyone. Part of her wondered if she should pack her things and prepare to leave tonight. She had no idea what Cody's plans actually were. Maybe he just wanted to have sex with her. She wouldn't put it past most men to use her vulnerability against her. She had already seen the worst of human nature and had a hard time trusting or believing in anyone.
When the time to meet Cody arrived, she gingerly snuck out of her tent, looked around to make sure no one had seen her, and snuck off into the forest. She skirted through an area close to camp, hidden from view of the guard towers, and scurried around to the place where she had met Cody earlier that day. All she could think about was the heat of their kiss and the longing of her own body when her lips had met his.
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if all he wanted was sex. Lola was a lonely woman, and part of her wanted to sleep with Cody just to spite her stepbrother. More than that, she longed to feel that someone cared. She longed to let go and allow her feelings to take over in a flood of lust and passion.
Lola was twenty-two years old an
d had still never made love. If Cody wanted to have sex with her, maybe tonight was the night that she finally lost her virginity.
She didn't see him when she first entered the grove of Douglas fir where they had met before. She huddled down behind a tree trunk, waiting out of sight from the guard towers. She heard a twig snap in the distance and shot her gaze in the direction of the noise.
"It's okay," came a soft but confident voice.
"I'm here," she said, standing taller against the tree trunk in the darkness.
He met her behind the wide expanse of the old growth evergreen. They gazed at each other in the moonlight. Something in her snapped. It was like all of the feelings of desperation and anger, fear and loneliness came hurtling out from a cell buried deep within the ground. It all exploded from within her at once. She wrapped her arms around Cody's neck and pulled him toward her in a deep, passionate kiss.
He let out a soft groan and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. His beard brushed softly against her cheek, and she was lost in the feeling of his masculinity wrapping her in its strength. She moaned and let go to the feeling. All she wanted was to be swept away in his strength and passion.
His tongue swept between her lips and she met it with her own. Moaning and pulling each other close as their tongues danced and they held each other tight.
She could feel the hot flood of desire pooling between her legs. Her hands slid down his back, gripping his ass.
His hands roved her body, pulling her closer to his growing hardness. Lola had never felt so much desire in her entire life. All she wanted was to strip off her clothes and lay down on the cool, pine needle covered ground and feel Cody's hot throbbing shaft penetrate her softness.
"I want this," she whispered in the night.
He growled in her ear and slipped his fingers inside the front of her jeans. They slid into her panties and his long finger pressed against her desire.