***
“You look so old,” Edgar said, standing in the doorway and watching Anna as she lay in bed. “Even older than the last time I was here, which I didn't even think was possible. Don't be afraid, but... death has touched your features. The effect is unmistakable, it's like a shadow.”
He crossed the room, making his way to the side of her bed and looking down at her gaunt, tired face as she met his gaze. Every wrinkle, every line seemed to Edgar to be a defeat. If there was one thing he had always hated, it was old humans, and the bare light-bulb above the bed only exaggerated her age. It was all he could manage to not turn away in disgust.
“Edgar...” she whispered, her voice sounding painfully dry and brittle.
“I told you I'd come back one more time,” he replied. “Don't you remember?”
She managed – just about – to nod.
“I almost stayed away,” he added. “You know how I feel about the way human wither on the vines. To me, humans are like grapes. Some are common and ordinary, others are ripe and succulent, but... If you want them to last more than a brief season, you have to turn them into wine and store them properly. I could have helped you, you know. I could have preserved you so that you would have lasted forever.”
“I had my season in the sun,” she whispered. “Better that, than remaining still in some cellar.”
“I still see you as you were,” he continued. “I still see your face as it was on that very first day, all those years ago. I had never met anyone so beautiful. Even now, seeing the wrinkles that line your features, I see only the youthful face that I loved so much. If only you had taken my offer back then, you wouldn't be old now. You'd still have all that youth, all that vitality. You'd be like me and you'd never have to die. You could have been Lady Le Compte.”
“And I would never have had a life,” she whispered harshly.
“You think I don't have a life?”
“I think... Life with you, Edgar...” She paused, as if the effort of speaking was almost too much to bear. “I know you've always been a rich man, and a powerful man. People feared you, and that brought you certain advantages. If I had accepted your offer, I could have sat up there in your mansion and never wanted for anything. But I could not have watched everyone down here in the town die while I remained young, and I could never have withstood your anger, Edgar. I still see it in your eyes... Even after all these years...”
“Do you have any idea where that anger comes from?”
“Your past. You must have suffered greatly. I only wish I had met you when you were younger.”
“You have no idea what happened to me,” he replied. “I tried to tell you once, but I could tell that it scared you so I refrained. It was at that moment that I realized you were too mentally weak to ever live a life alongside me. The good news, though, is that I have finally found someone. She doesn't know it yet, but she will stay with me forever. I have the advantage, you see, of having met her before she met me. It's a rather unique and complicated situation, but it will unfold in time and eventually...”
He paused for a moment as he felt Anna's hand reach out to him. Her old, arthritic fingers held his hand gently, and although he despised her weakness, he could not bring himself to pull away. He still remembered the touch of her hand all those years ago, when she was a young woman.
“I recognized her,” Anna said quietly. “At first I thought I was mistaken, but...”
“She is awake and asleep at the same time,” Edgar replied. “One day she will have to travel to the beginning. I don't know when that will be, although I can tell from her appearance that she's getting close to the moment. She almost looks the way she did when I first met her. And then, finally, she can be woken. So you see, I shall get what I wanted after all. It just won't be you, Anna. You'll be long dead by then, your mind lost as your body rots in the ground. Doesn't that scare you?”
“Doesn't it scare you?”
“Why would I fear death?” he asked with a cautious smile. “I'm not the one who has grown old.”
“But you must know that you will die one day.”
“Don't be foolish.”
“All creatures die,” she continued. “The longer you live, the more you will fear death. Just because you surround yourselves with humans, don't think that you're going to live forever. One day you'll be on your own deathbed, Edgar, and then we'll see whether or not you fear death.”
“I have my own plans,” he muttered, clearly disturbed her words. “You don't need to worry about me.”
“But there are ways to kill you,” she added. “I remember you telling me once. Don't you fear that some day someone will come for you?”
“I can look after myself.”
“I see it in your eyes,” she told him. “For the first time, I see a trace of fear. Perhaps you sense someone coming soon, even if you can't admit it to yourself.”
“Is this how you're going to spend your final minutes?” he asked. “Misreading the look in my eyes? I fear no-one and nothing, and even if something came to strike at me, I would strike back ten thousand times stronger. You're going to die tonight, Anna, but I'm going to live on and on.”
“I want... Edgar, you must... be happy.”
“Don't say such foolish things,” he replied.
“You can... You can be happy. You must just allow yourself to forget...”
“Have you told the boy?” he asked, sitting on the bed next to her. “Or does he still think his grandfather was that foolish old fisherman? Does he still think that you're his grandmother by blood, rather than just some old woman who took him in when he was an infant?”
“Please, Edgar...”
“Relax, I have no intention of telling him the truth. Trust me, I have a son who is causing me enough trouble. I certainly don't need a grandson to add to the mix.” He paused, and as he stared at Anna's face, he saw only her youth. Leaning closer, he stared deep into her beautiful brown eyes, and finally he let his lips brush against hers in a long-remembered kiss. Pulling back, he still saw her as she was all those years ago, rather than the old woman who now lay close to death.
“I truly loved you,” she told him, her voice suddenly filled with youth again.
“I know.”
“I still do.”
“I know.”
“I just couldn't give you what you wanted, Edgar. I couldn't... I know what you need, and the price is too great. The anger in your soul is always so close to the surface, as if it might brim over at any moment. Look at me. Do you really think I could have been like you?”
“I think it's a pity that you were not brave enough to try. Your heart lacked courage. I cannot even begin to tell you how disappointed I was when I realized this.”
“And you can't understand why someone would choose to remain human rather than submitting themselves to a life like yours? You can't understand any type of strength other than your own?”
“I'm afraid I've never been able to understand,” he told her. “There are some things about humans that are just... beyond my comprehension.”
“Then I pity you,” she replied, “because you will never understand us. Even this woman who has now entered your life. Can you be certain that she will give you what I would not?”
“Yes,” he said calmly, “I can be certain.”
“Then I can only wish you luck, Edgar. I hope she can do what I cannot, and take the pain and anger from your soul. I just want you to remember one thing, though. My choice... I do not regret the choice I made, even though I'm now old and dying. I would not have had my life any other way.” Finally, a smile crept across her lips. “I always loved you, Edgar. Always. Even when I ran away from you.”
He waited for her to continue, but slowly the vision of her youth faded and he saw her as an old woman again, and this time her glassy eyes stared at him with the permanence of death. Already, he could sense her body temperature starting to drop, and he could hear that her heart had stopped beating. He reached out to
close her eyes, before realizing that this was perhaps a job that was better suited to Ephram. Slowly, he withdrew his hand from her face.
“You're right,” he said after a moment. “I will never understand why you chose to remain human. I simply cannot understand such weakness. I loved you until the day you turned me down, but after that...”
Getting to his feet, he turned toward the door before spotting something on the carpet in the middle of the room. Reaching down, he gently gathered a small pile of dust onto the palm of his hand, before raising it to his lips. As he blew, the dust fluttered away and reformed, and once again the moth was reborn. It flew toward the light-bulb that hung from the ceiling, and Edgar waited for it to burn yet again. This time, however, the moth merely circled the bulb a few times before making its way over to the window and out into the night air.
“Well,” Edgar whispered with a faint smile, “perhaps sometimes second chances are deserved after all.”
IV
“A stowaway?” Captain Hamilton replied with a frown. “No, I... I'm quite sure that we would have noticed if there had been a stowaway onboard.”
“His name is Fernando Mediaci,” Cavaleri replied, holding up a photo in an attempt to jog Hamilton's memory, “and I have it on very good authority that he was on this vessel when it last left Thaxos. A reliable witness saw him climbing onto your boat shortly before it departed, and he wasn't seen disembarking. Are you seriously telling me that you have no idea what happened to him?”
“Why would someone enter this vessel in such a manner?”
“We'll come to that. Right now, I'm primarily concerned about his safety.”
“This is a large boat,” Hamilton continued uncertainly, “so I suppose it's possible that someone could hide without being noticed, although I find it highly unlikely. This is a working vessel, Inspector Cavaleri, with a full crew.”
“Exactly. So there's no way he could have gone unnoticed.”
“We've been gone for rather a long time,” Hamilton told her. “It was only very recently that we received word that our papers were in order and that we had permission to come back to Thaxos. We had to stay in Parios, so perhaps he went ashore while we were there? My men were assigned various duties, but it wouldn't be impossible for someone to leave the boat without being seen.”
“Parios?” She looked up at the huge hull of the black boat. “No, I don't think he's in Parios. I think he's somewhere on this vessel. I also think you know more than you're letting on.”
“I can assure you -”
“So I'm going to search it,” she continued, pulling her badge from her pocket and holding it up for him to see. “As the official representative of the customs division here on Thaxos, I have full authority to board this boat if I believe that a crime might have been committed. We have laws here, and I intend to enforce those laws.”
“I must contact Baron Le Compte,” Hamilton replied. “He -”
“I'm afraid you'll have to contact him once I've completed my search,” she said firmly. “I need you to show me around the boat, and I would remind you that if I catch you lying to me, I can impound the entire vessel and place you under arrest. Is that clear?” She paused for a moment, hoping that perhaps she could scare the captain into helping her. “So what would Baron Le Compte want you to do with a stowaway?” she continued. “If you found someone on your boat, you'd have to inform your boss, wouldn't you? I can't help wondering what orders he'd give you.”