Her body flared with heat as if a bomb had gone off inside. Incendiary heat that filled her from the inside out, rushing along her veins, blossoming under her skin.
She ached in places. Her lips felt swollen, as did her breasts, the tissues between her thighs. She was marked by Nick. She brought her forearm to her nose, the memory vivid of holding those broad shoulders with her arms. Yep. She even smelled of Nick, as if his molecules had rubbed off on her.
A heavy arm lay across her belly. She was going to have to finesse things to escape from under that arm without waking him. Waking him would be…dangerous. Last night had been time out of time, a sort of going-away present to herself. It had been even more powerful and magical than she had imagined it would be.
But it was over. Real time, the real world, came rushing back. She had something dangerous to do and she had to do it alone.
Nick was incredibly single-minded. He wouldn’t allow her to just disappear without saying anything and there was nothing to say. Nothing she could say to him.
Certainly not the truth.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few hours but whatever happens, it won’t be good.
No way could she say that to Nick and expect him to step back. That wasn’t his way, Nick never stepped back. So last night had been a one-off.
Oh God. Kay knew she had to get going, but she allowed herself another minute or two, just looking at Nick, imagining another universe. A better one, a universe where they’d be allowed to explore this amazing chemistry they shared.
She watched his face as he slept, reaching a hand out to trace his strong features with a finger one inch from his face. What she wouldn’t give to touch him. She knew his face as much by touch as by sight. She knew exactly where the rough beard ended on his cheeks and the beardless skin began—soft compared to the rasp of the whiskers. She knew the feel of the lines around his eyes, more a product of wind and sun than age. His firm jaw, the tendons in his neck, the blade of his nose—she’d traced them endlessly last night.
Her hand hovered, so close she could feel the heat emanating from him. The urge to touch him was so strong her hand trembled. If she touched him, he’d wake up. His eyes would open, those dark, fascinating eyes, and lock with hers. He’d reach out for her.
And she’d be lost.
No, she couldn’t touch him. But how to get out of this bed and out of this room?
Slither out, like she was escaping. Which she was. It was hateful to think it, but she was doing an old-fashioned bunk after a one-night stand. Just like the skeeviest of guys. A female dick.
Nick was breathing deeply, regularly. Follow the rhythm of his breathing, she told herself, like catching a wave at sea.
She watched him carefully, pulling away just a little every time he breathed out. Each exhale, Kay shifted, breath by breath, until she was free of the heavy weight of his arm.
The second she was free, she missed it, missed being held by him. Standing by the side of the bed, she looked down at him. He was sleeping on his side, one strong arm out, the one that had curled around her. His eyes were unmoving behind the lids, he wasn’t dreaming, he wasn’t just about to come out of deep sleep.
In repose, his face looked relaxed, younger. Awake, he looked older than his years. He was thirty-four but sometimes he looked forty—a man who’d seen a lot of things, few of them good. A man who bore great responsibilities uncomplainingly. A man who didn’t shirk his duty, no matter how heavy.
Kay was used to being around men who were responsible, at least at work. All her male colleagues at the CDC were serious men at work. Outside work, not always. Nick was always responsible, admired by everyone who knew him.
He was hers, for the moment at least. He’d made that very clear. She had a remarkable man who showed in every way there was that he liked her. And she was throwing this away, in the name of…what?
Responsibility, duty. She heaved a deep sigh, watching him sleep.
Would this be the last time she ever saw him?
Maybe, maybe not. Nothing was clear, except that after the night they’d spent together, he was going to be really pissed that she’d sneaked away. Such a generous lover he’d been. He would feel he deserved better than being abandoned without a word, and he’d be right.
She couldn’t even leave a message. Sorry I skipped out on you, but stuff is happening. Catch you at some point in the future.
Nope.
So, in all probability, this was it. One red-hot affair that lasted one incendiary night, which was over, but which she’d never forget.
Her eyes welled with tears she tried to blink away. Oh God, no. This was no good. She was about to embark on something crazy dangerous. No time for tears, no time for any emotions at all except determination to stop something evil that had already claimed two lives and might well claim millions more. Not to mention her own.
Nick was still out, more of a coma than sleep. Good. It increased her chances of making a clean getaway.
The curtains had been drawn last night, but the rising sun gleamed in very thin stripes around the edges of the curtains, providing just enough light to see by without tripping over anything.
Kay closed the bathroom door, put a towel against the bottom and turned the lights on, the reflection off the white tiles almost blinding her. She closed her eyes against the glare for a moment and stared at herself in the mirror wondering in that first startled moment whether someone was in the bathroom with her.
She blinked. No, that wasn’t a stranger. She was looking at her own reflection in the mirror.
A completely different her, transformed overnight.
Her skin wasn’t that skim-milk color it had been lately, like her body had died a week ago and she hadn’t noticed. No, her skin was pink and flushed and glowing. Partly due to whisker burn, though Nick had tried to be careful, and partly due to the sheer volume of hormones circulating through her body all night. Though she’d barely slept, her eyes weren’t shot with red. They gleamed, the whites as clear as a baby’s. Her mouth was swollen and red, as if she’d just put on lipstick. Her hair floated around her head, mussed by his hands, but the effect was like on one of those glossy women’s magazine covers, where the model stood in front of a fan.
She looked…beautiful.
Kay knew she was good looking. Her parents had been genetically blessed, and she’d taken after them. Kay had inherited their skin and bone structure and the metabolism that let her eat without gaining weight.
She’d been a pretty girl, a pretty teen and was an attractive woman.
It was a fact of her life that didn’t affect her that much, except there seemed to be a lot of annoying men who wouldn’t take no for an answer. But in general, she’d been so busy keeping herself balanced after the death of her parents, adjusting to life with her only relative, her grandfather, who’d inherited a young girl. Then college and making her way up the career ladder. She’d chosen a hard discipline—a doctorate in virology and another degree in genetics. It required long hours of study and later, in her job, even longer hours of work and dedication and focus.
No time or place for vanity there.
But right now, she felt beautiful, because Nick had made her feel that way all night. He’d delighted in every square inch of her, and she was aware of her entire body, from her wayward hair to her toes. Which he’d kissed.
Oh God.
Kay watched herself in the mirror as she blushed down to her breasts. Remembering. Remembering how he’d started at her toes and kissed all the way to the heart of her.
The memory made her so hot that she decided to take a cold shower for the first time since she’d stayed up all night studying for Biochemistry II and needed to shock herself into wakefulness.
Now she needed to shock herself into leaving Nick behind.
The cold shower was just what she needed, reminding her that she was going to abandon something wonderful and walk straight into the unknown. It was going to be painful
and she needed to be clear-headed.
Her clothes were strewn all over the floor. She picked them up and put them on an armchair. Either she would or she wouldn’t be back to pick them up. Probably not. But last night’s elegant raspberry outfit wouldn’t do for whistleblowing and possibly running for her life. She had a stretch turquoise pantsuit that was just the ticket. Her friend Priyanka had loved it. Kay wore it because it was comfortable and light. It was perfect if she had to run and it honored her dead friend. And flats, of course. No running in heels.
Last night, she’d bought a wide-brimmed straw hat from the hotel souvenir shop and she put it on.
Right. Clean, dressed, holding the handle of her wheeled suitcase because she’d been told to pack a light carryon. Just in case. Okay. Ready to go.
But she hesitated, standing by the bed, watching Nick sleep.
She was walking out on something really, really good. The sex had been off the charts, but more than hot sex, there had been connection and affection in the bed with them. Even now, after a cold shower and dressing, with a suitcase handle in her hand, Kay could feel the connection, could almost see it shimmering in the air between the two of them.
Nick was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a player. There were no stories about him loving and leaving women, using them. She knew he’d had partners but no one special. And he always treated his partners—whether for just the night or a week or a month—with respect.
She knew this because everyone at ASI, including Felicity, had made a point of telling her over and over again.
Nick was, in every sense of the word, a good man. Everyone made a point of telling her what a good guy Nick was, all but elbowing her in the side, just in case she didn’t get it.
They didn’t need to do that. She knew what a good guy Nick was. She hadn’t known he was a god between the sheets, but…she’d suspected.
What made him so amazing in bed wasn’t superhuman powers, though he did have a bit of that Superman vibe going. No, what made it so amazing was the chemistry between the two of them, exclusive to them. The joy and the heat between them.
A sob rose up from her chest, unstoppable, a searing ball of pain burning her up inside. At the last possible second, she was able to stifle it in her mouth, but it felt like a grenade went off inside her chest, shrapnel tearing up everything inside.
Goodbye, Nick, she thought. Who knew what lay at the other end of what she was about to do? It could take her away forever, she could be free within a month. She had no idea. But what she did know was that walking away from Nick, after the night they’d shared, was unforgiveable.
This was it.
Everything was blurred, but she could see the door clearly enough. The door she’d walk through to walk away from Nick.
Kay reached out one last time, her hand hovering over his. What she wouldn’t give to be free. Free to touch him, free to stay with him. Free to take what was between them as far as it could go.
But she wasn’t.
She turned and left before the first tear fell, texting her contact. He was somehow going to kill all the security cams in the hotel corridor, in the elevator, in the lobby.
Outside in the corridor, she wiped her eyes and quickly made her way to the elevator, small suitcase trailing.
Okay, focus.
She was supposed to be meeting with Mike Hammer, the pen name for a man who ran a website that so far had sent three senators and two CEOs to prison. www.thetangledweb.com. It published very uncomfortable truths and never backed down. Everything it published turned out to be true. Nobody knew where it was based and nobody knew Hammer’s real identity.
Priyanka had first contacted him and offered to hand over very dangerous files. When Priyanka died, Kay inherited the mission. She’d contacted Hammer through channels Priyanka had given her. Hammer was amazingly proficient with computers and unusually knowledgeable about virology. He’d assured her that their email exchanges, using an email server on Tor, were private. He knew about Priyanka’s death and he knew what Kay suspected.
They’d arranged to meet in Portland this morning. Kay used the excuse of her presence at the World Virology Conference, where she was scheduled to deliver a paper on the last day. She’d kept Priyanka’s name on the paper.
There was almost zero chance she’d actually deliver that paper. There was almost zero chance her life would be recognizable after this morning.
It was entirely possible she’d have to leave the country with a false passport this afternoon, ending up sipping caipirinhas in Rio tonight. Mike Hammer had said he’d come prepared. He had some information for her too. Depending on what their combined info was, they’d take it from there.
One thing was for sure, though. Her life would never be the same after meeting up with Mike.
He’d provided her with a map of all the security cams in the area, with vision cones. She called it up on her cell as she walked across the hotel lobby. For a second, she looked around. This lobby was so attractive—slate floors, huge flower arrangements in beautiful enameled vases, contemporary light gray couches with pastel throw pillows. It was a policy of the hotel to offer guests tea or coffee, and many of the tables were covered in porcelain tea and coffee sets, with fruit bowls, croissants, small bowls of yogurt. People were chatting and smiling and eating and drinking. Exactly the kind of scene that always brought a smile to her face.
Now, she wondered if that was going to disappear from her life forever. If she’d be a person on the run for the rest of her life, a lighthearted cup of tea with a friend unthinkable.
No. Stop that, she told herself.
She couldn’t deal with the future right now; the present was fraught enough. Before her lie what Nick and his teammates would call a mission. Priyanka’s mission, now hers. Nick and men like him risked bullets to keep people safe. She could do this.
With a wrench, she took her mind off Nick. Last night had been her gift to herself—a night of passion with the most intriguing man she’d ever met. But it was over and danger lay ahead of her. Be careful and focus, she thought. There was so much at stake.
She walked out of the hotel and instantly felt the difference, leaving the past behind, facing this new, uncertain future. Outside was a pedestrian street, with pretty shops and flowering shrubs in planters.
Happy people, looking at shop windows, planning breakfast in one of the numerous elegant coffee shops. No one paid her any attention at all.
It felt like slaloming, staying out of the cone of the cameras, but Mike’s map was a miracle. It moved as she moved. It was a street view, so if she watched where she stepped, she knew she couldn’t be followed by cameras. Or, as he explained, if he were caught, nobody could back trace where she’d been.
The restaurant, conference venue, hotel and a big department store, Conrad’s, comprised the city block. The department store continued via a skywalk to the next city block.
Mike had given precise instructions on how to get to the meeting place. Kay reached the second cross street past the department store, turned left and immediately found a narrow street with no cameras at all, and halfway down to the right, a service alleyway.
It was a sunny day but dark in the alleyway. To the right was the offshoot of the department store and to the left was a tall office building. The back of the building was windowless up to the third floor. He’d chosen well.
Kay slowed down. Mike was supposed to meet her here. She glanced at her cell phone. There were coordinates and, as if that wasn’t enough, a big white X where Mike was supposed to be. This map, too, was a street view. The X was where a row of Dumpsters were lined up. She couldn’t go wrong, the view exactly matched what was on her screen, but in real life there was no one where the screen X was.
Mike wasn’t there.
The appointment was for 9:30 a.m. The digital time at the top of her cell went from 9:29 to 9:30.
No Mike.
Oh God, now what? The flash drive in her pocket that Priyanka had given her
felt like both a thousand-pound weight and a searchlight beaming into space. What was she going to do with it if Mike didn’t show?
And if Mike didn’t show, that meant—well, it wasn’t good. Mike Hammer was a pen name he used for his investigative journalism, given his love of ’30s noir detective novels. The Hammer of Justice, they called him. His avatar on the blog was a stylized white profile against a black backdrop. Kay had no idea who he really was, though there were rumors that he had been a big shot in either a law enforcement agency or intelligence service. Careful probing on the net showed that his identity really was a secret. But Priyanka trusted him, and that was good enough for Kay. She was risking everything for this.
But, if Hammer had changed his mind, if he had been detained, arrested or—God!—killed, she had no idea what the next step should be. None.
All she knew was she was holding information that at least two people had been killed for and she had no idea what to do with it. There was no Plan B.
She stopped, heart pounding, then walked forward slowly. They were in the heart of the city, but with no traffic and surrounded by high buildings, it was so quiet she could hear her own footsteps.
Just as she was crossing in real life the big white X on her phone, a man appeared, a tall, thin shape suddenly materializing in front of her.
“Dr. Hudson?” His voice was low, a pleasant baritone.
She stopped herself from taking a step back. She was here to meet him, after all.
“Mike? Mike…Hammer?”
He stepped forward, revealing a thin, pleasant-looking face. He looked smart and exhausted, with red-rimmed eyes and deep lines bracketing his mouth. The lines looked recent. Well, yes. If he was pursuing a story that had gotten two people killed, might unleash a worldwide pandemic, he had every reason to be stressed.
“Yes. And you are Dr. Kay Hudson.”