Finally, he snapped at me. "Kinsley, get your head in the game. This isn't that hard, and you've had all summer to work on it." His tone was harsh and a few of the girls stood watching him with a gaping mouth.
Tara, who was only a few feet behind me, muttered, "Uh oh, are the lovers fighting?"
A few of the upperclassmen snickered, and in that moment I lost it. There was only so much I could take and getting yelled at by Liam in front of my enemies was the straw that broke my freaking back.
I spun around on my cleats and pointed directly at Tara. "You know what? I'm so sick of your shit. What kind of captain tries to sabotage their own team? Do you even realize what you're doing? What's the fucking point of it all? So you can snicker about me with your friends after practice? Newsflash, Tara: No one fucking likes you. I bet Sofie and the other seniors are only friends with you because you've blackmailed them as well—"
"Stop," Liam yelled, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me back. I hadn't even realized I was in Tara's face until suddenly I was being dragged away.
“I would start cleaning out my locker if I was you, Bryant,” she spoke with an eerie calmness, but I could practically see the wheels spinning in her head. I'd just awoken the beast and I was about to pay for it. Her eyes were sharp and her lips were twisted into a calculating smile.
Thankfully, Coach Davis was on the other side of the field so as soon as the incident began, it was over. For the moment. Tara and the seniors went over to grab water, and I stood there cooling off and appreciating the fact that I was sitting in the eye of the storm.
Liam and I were completely silent until it was time for him to leave, and for the remainder of practice, Tara and I kept our distance from each other. My heart was beating like a hummingbird’s as I tried to process how I could somehow stop the avalanche about to take place.
This was it. The proverbial shit was about to hit the fan and I wasn’t ready. I was a nervous wreck the rest of the day. I couldn't get in touch with Liam after practice, but I couldn't go to Coach Davis before talking to him first. There was no more time to wait though. If Tara was going to go to Coach Davis, we had to beat her there. For all I knew it was already too late; Tara could have gone to her directly after practice.
"What are you going to do?" Becca asked. She was sitting on the edge of my bed and I was standing up, pacing back and forth across my carpet. I felt like a caged animal. My heart wouldn't stop pounding and my hands were clenched into tights fists. I'd realize how tense I was and try to relax, but then Tara's face would materialize in my thoughts and I’d tailspin back into tense anger.
"I have no freaking clue."
"Kinsley, this is serious... if Tara goes to—"
"I know. I know that," I cut her off and reached down to grab my running shoes. It was late, maybe eight or nine, but I needed to run.
"I'll be back in a little bit," I muttered, heading down the stairs and out the front door without a second glance. I jogged down my front lawn and turned right down an empty street. Hearing my feet pound against the asphalt was like waking up from a foggy dream. Until that moment I'd thought I was invincible. But in reality, I had put my dreams, my future, and my career on the line for a guy that I only had known for a few weeks. In the big picture of my life, Liam was a dot on the timeline, yet he was capable of wiping away everything that could have come after him.
And to make it worse, I had no one to blame but myself. I'd chosen to take the chance. I'd chosen to live in the moment and test fate. What if Coach Davis called me into her office tomorrow and told me I was off the team? What if she told me she wouldn't be inviting me to the Olympic tryouts? What would I have then? Liam? How could I look at him without seeing my failure?
I kept running until the fear had sunken deep into my bones. This was a wakeup call. A wakeup call that I feared was happening too late. Maybe if I explained everything to Coach Davis she'd give me another chance. I had no other option. I wasn’t prepared to give up my dreams.
I was contemplating that fact as I rounded the corner back to my house and saw Liam's SUV sitting out by the curb. It was parked directly outside of the Rookie house rather than hiding around the corner. My stomach sank even lower and I slowed to a walk as I got closer to his car. My heart hammered in my chest, but I couldn't control its rhythm. The run and this surprise were too much for my nerves to handle.
I passed by his SUV and peered inside, but it was empty. The front door opened behind me and I spun around to find Liam heading outside. His hair was disheveled. His eyes were sharp and narrowed on me. A few of the sophomore girls peered through the thin gap before closing the door behind him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, frozen in place.
"Letting the team know that I won’t be coaching them anymore."
My breathing stilled. "What?"
He kept walking closer to me, his expression indiscernible. "I spoke with the LA Stars and Coach Davis today," he explained, running his hand along his jawline.
I felt my world screech to a stop. Holy shit, he’d done it. I reached up to cover my mouth with my hand, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
"Everything is out in the air now. Tara can't blackmail you and Coach Davis will deal with her separately."
He wasn't telling me what really mattered. What actually mattered. Did I have my dreams still or not?
"What happens? What happens now, Liam? Am I still on the team? Are you still on the team? Do you still have your endorsement deals?” Suddenly I felt just as close to exploding as I had before my run. I couldn't handle the stress. It was too much.
Liam came to stand in front of me, taking my hand in his. I let him because it was easier, but I wasn't sure I wanted him to touch me.
"The LA Stars were upset about the potential for bad press, but they wouldn’t kick me off the team for something like this. A few of my sponsors were pissed and yeah, my most conservative sponsorship dropped me. They don’t know how the media will spin the story and they didn’t want to take the chance on me. I’ll be able to talk the others down. This afternoon, I told Coach Davis a toned down version of the truth— that Tara was interested in me and that I was interested in you. She was hazing you and a few other rookies and threatening to use false facts to get you kicked off the team."
"They weren't really false facts," I whispered.
"Technically, they were. We never had sex," Liam corrected. He was splitting hairs at that point, but I didn't care to argue. "Coach Davis and I agreed that it'd be best if I stopped coaching the team so that the drama could die down.”
“But aren’t you in trouble with the LA Stars?”
He shook his head. “I wasn’t ever in trouble with the LA Stars. That was all just media bullshit. I've been playing better in the last few weeks than I have in my entire career.”
Had I just heard that right? He talked to Coach Davis and the LA Stars. He was telling me everything was okay. He was telling me that the worst of the storm had passed, but my brain wasn't catching up yet. My heart was still pounding and I just needed a few moments to absorb everything.
"Kinsley, it's settled now. We don't have to hide—"
I shook my head, once and then twice, trying to clear everything out. Five minutes ago my worst fears had been bubbling over. I’d had a taste of what it would be like if my soccer career was pulled out from under me and it’d been the scariest moment of my life.
I took a small step back from Liam.
"Kinsley?" he asked warily.
After everything he’d just explained, I should have felt relief, but instead I felt like I was hung-over from the day.
"I just need a few moments to think. I'm exhausted..." I answered honestly. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Thank you for fixing everything. I know it was probably scary having the face everyone by yourself."
"Hey— I told you I would take care of it. I didn't want you to worry. I would have done anything to make sure that none of this touched you— that your career wouldn
't be jeopardized."
His words felt good to hear, but I couldn't let them settle in. I was a full glass of water and life kept trying to pour more liquid in. The excess was pouring down the sides and spilling out. I just needed five freaking minutes of swallowing some of today’s events before I thought about adding more.
I squeezed my eyes shut and nodded before stepping around him. I think I had to block his appearance altogether; his dark eyes, his creased brow, his pouty lips. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to move past him.
"Thank you, Liam. But today I realized how close I came to losing everything I've worked for and I feel like a royal idiot... like the loser that chooses a guy over the Olympics." I spun around and headed into the house.
“That’s it? You’re going to give up?” he yelled out behind me. I paused, staring down at the grass, too fearful of look back toward his brooding eyes. “I just put a lot on the line for you, Kinsley. I was out there fighting for you, fighting for us, the same day you and Josh were plastered all over the fucking internet. But I did all of that because I wanted to be with you, I wanted the whole package—not the sneaking around, not the forbidden romance. I wanted to take you out on a real date and show you off because I wasn’t afraid of starting something real with you… so what are you scared of?”
His shoes crunched on the gravel, and I turned just in time to watch him hop into his front seat and slam the door closed. His engine roared to life, and in a moment he was gone, speeding down the street and leaving me with remnants of whiplash.
What was I scared of?
Chapter Eighteen
"I brought you dinner. Are you hungry?" Becca asked, placing a bowl of soup and a sandwich on my nightstand.
"No, I'm just really tired," I answered, “but thanks.”
It was Friday night and a few of the girls were heading to go see a movie. I'd opted to stay in my room and wallow. All I'd done the past 36 hours was eat, sleep, and breathe soccer. It was refreshing and just what I needed—to remind myself of my true love in life.
Becca pulled my comforter down so she could see my face. I think she expected me to be crying; instead she found unwashed hair and smeared make-up. There might have also been some melted chocolate on my chin that I’d been trying to lick off for the past half hour.
"I realize why you're doing what you’re doing," she began, and then paused until I met her hazel eyes. "It's a sort of self-punishment. You almost feel guilty that you got away with everything, so now you're punishing yourself. It's bullshit."
Her words struck a chord. "What are you talking about?"
"You feel bad because you broke the rules and didn't get caught. And then when you did, nothing really happened. Life continued on. Well, you know what? Maybe that was a dumb rule in the first place. Would you be pushing Liam away if you were allowed to be dating him this entire time?"
I chose to assume that was a rhetorical question.
"I'm going to the movies with the girls, but tomorrow, you and I are going to that get together at Penn’s house. I already told him I would go, and you owe it to me to come with me."
I’d completely forgotten about those plans. It’d be Becca’s first time seeing Penn since they met and I knew she was excited about it.
"I don't kno—"
She held up her hand to stop me. "I cleaned a toilet with a toothbrush for you. You're coming."
She had a point.
"You're my best friend, Becca. Thanks for everything,” I called just before she left.
"You're welcome, but you're still coming to Penn’s," she laughed, and then closed my door behind her.
…
Saturday morning I had plans to meet with Coach Davis for breakfast. There were still a few pieces of the puzzle that hadn't been cleared up and she'd requested to meet with me so we could clear the air. Even though I didn't think she was kicking me off the team, I still felt nervous about being reprimanded by someone I looked up to as much as her.
"Morning, Coach Davis," I said as I took a seat across from her. She looked up from her coffee and smiled. It was strange seeing her outside of practice. She looked so nice in her scarf and jeans. Like a real person and not just a soccer coach. If we were meeting under different circumstances, I would have complimented her outfit.
"G’morning, Kinsley, how're you doing?" she asked.
"I'm fine. I feel good after the last few days of practice. I think the team's really coming along."
She nodded at my response, but the edges of her eyes crinkled as if she were trying to see something I wasn't showing her. Her hand gestured to the seat across from her and I quickly shuffled to sit down and get comfortable.
When I was finally settled, I looked up and took a deep breath.
"I asked you here today for two reasons. The first was that I wanted to apologize to you specifically. I put Tara in a position of power on the team and I wished I had paid more attention to the way she was abusing that power. The things that she put you, Emily, and Becca through are inexcusable, and it's not the way I want to run my program."
"Coach—"
"I'm not done yet. I strive to create a program where you girls can come to me with any problem."
I nodded and took a quick sip of water.
"Second, we both know your behavior with Coach Wilder was extremely inappropriate. You chose to put yourself over your team and went against rules that I had in place for a reason." I winced at her words. "Now, that being said, I understand that this particular situation was a little unorthodox. Liam was volunteering with our team, and technically, he wasn't on staff at ULA. The rule was put in place so that you girls would stay focused, and to be honest, I didn't want any of you getting hurt. When Liam came to me and explained the situation, his feelings for you were very apparent. I'm not so cruel as to break up young love. I'll leave you all to do that for yourself."
I smiled at her joke and then glanced up from my water. "So where do we go from here?"
"Well, Liam is no longer with ULA, so your relationship with him is no longer of my concern."
"So, I could technically date him?"
Coach Davis smiled gently. "You'd have to ask him that question."
Oh, right. There was the slight problem concerning Liam’s probable hatred for me. He’d left the ball in my court Thursday night, and there’d been 48 hours of radio silence between us since then. I thought that’s what I needed. I was feeling overwhelmed and I wanted to take the time to get my thoughts in order. Well, my thoughts had definitely cleared and the only thing I cared about was the fact that Liam and I were no longer off-limits.
I paused before asking the next question. "And what about Tara?"
Coach Davis took a sip of her coffee and narrowed her eyes, as if collecting the pieces of her thoughts.
"Tara spoke with me yesterday and gave me an ultimatum: 'Either you go or she goes'."
My heart started pounding in my chest. "Ah."
"But the last time I checked, Tara was not ‘Coach Tara.’" Coach Davis sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Thank god," I murmured under my breath.
She smiled. "I told her to pack her things and leave. I was prepared to offer her a second chance, but the fact that she was so blinded by her hate for you that she would want to kick off one of the best players on our team shows how little she truly cares about the program."
Holy hell.
"Wow."
"There will be some adjustments, but I feel good about the decision and I think the team will really benefit. We'll vote for the new captain on Monday."
"I don't really know what to say."
Coach Davis eyed me for a moment and then leaned forward, as if she didn't want me to miss a single word.
"You have a good head on your shoulders, Kinsley. In the few weeks that you've been with the program, you've had quite a few challenges thrown your way, yet no matter what, you haven't let it affect your practice or your commitment to the team. You've had mult
iple opportunities to shove yourself into the spotlight, but I think the way that you're going about your career is very wise. All too often, athletes shoot themselves in the foot by reaching for celebrity status before honing their skills."
Her warning reminded me of Liam.
"Do you think it's a bad idea to be with Liam? If I’m supposed to stay away from the spotlight?"
"I don't think you could find a better match than Liam. He has a reputation, as I warned you about, but now you’ve seen firsthand how the press likes to embellish their stories about young athletes. He's a damn good soccer player and I think you could learn a lot from him."
Wow. I couldn't believe the way the conversation was going, but I'm really glad I agreed to meet with her. The haziness around the last few days was beginning to settle and my options were right in front of me, ready for me to take them.
"Thank you so much, Coach Davis. For everything. I promise I won't take my second chance lightly."
"Good. Now, let's order. I'm starving." She winked and handed me a menu.
…
"Penn said his house is on the beach so let's wear bathing suits under our dresses in case people are swimming," Becca declared as we pushed off the bed to start getting ready.
"Okay, I have this cover up that's kind of fancy enough to be worn to a party," I mentioned, heading toward my closet. It was an icy blue silk material that wrapped around my body and crossed in the front so that it stayed closed when I pulled my arms through the spaghetti straps.
"Hmm, I'm not sure what I have. I could just wear a nice top and shorts?"
I found the cover-up hanging in my closet right next to an identical one. I’d forgotten my crazy mother had ordered me the dress in multiple colors. One blue and one fuchsia. I think they’d been a part of a “Maui” themed care package. I’m not kidding, the woman is dedicated.
"Oh, I forgot my mom bought me two! If it’s not too ‘sister-wives’ of us, we could both wear these?"