But everything within me trembled in anticipation. What would happen next?
“Yeah. I saw that.” A rumble of laughter escaped him.
Jerk. But at least he was a cute jerk.
“Settle down, settle down,” Nancy said, and everyone quieted. “Okay, who’s ready for another story?”
Jake leaned in close, his mouth near my ear. “Want to get out of here?”
I turned to look at him, our faces close. So close I could see the faint stubble that ran along his square jaw, and I wanted to reach out and touch it.
But I didn’t.
“I thought you had to watch the fire or whatever.”
“Brian’s covering for me.” He smiled, revealing straight, white teeth. I wondered if he had worn braces. I wondered what he might’ve looked like with braces.
Clearly my thoughts were veering way off track.
“Where did you want to go?”
“I don’t care.” He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from my forehead, his fingers lightly touching my skin. My stomach dipped and turned. “Just say yes, Annie.”
I glanced over at Gwen, who was grinning at me. “Go,” she whispered, giving me a nudge.
Ducking, I slipped out of my row and went to the very last row of seats, where Jake was already waiting for me. He stood close, and I tilted my head back to look into his eyes. He was so tall I barely reached his shoulder. “Can we maybe stay here until the last story? I’m kind of having fun.”
“Yeah, if that’s what you want. I’m down.” He shrugged and settled onto the bench, grabbing my hand and pulling me down along with him. We sat so close our thighs brushed against each other, and he slipped his arm around the back of my seat. I rested my hands in my lap, wanting to touch him, too scared to touch him. I’d never been in this sort of situation before, and I didn’t know what to do.
Nancy started in on a new story, but I didn’t even hear her. My head buzzed at Jake’s nearness, my entire body tense. His leg kept bumping into mine as he sat in that way boys do, legs spread as if they wanted to take up the entire world. Usually it annoyed me, but with Jake, I didn’t mind. I liked how close he was, how his arm seemed to scoot closer and closer, until finally it was wrapped around my shoulders and he was gently tugging on the ends of my hair, curling it around his fingers over and over again.
I wanted to melt. I sort of wanted to die. But then that would mean I’d never get to experience this again, and I had a feeling that this could be the start of something truly amazing.
Nancy made a gasping, strangled noise, and I jumped, startled. I could literally feel Jake’s laughter rumble in his chest and I sort of wanted to smack him. But instead, I leaned my head on his broad shoulder and closed my eyes, breathing deep his clean, soapy scent.
His arm tightened around my shoulders and I kept my eyes closed, savoring this moment.
I never wanted it to end.
…
JAKE
The second Nancy was done with her storytelling, I was on my feet, Annie’s hand in mine as I dragged her out of there.
“Where are we going?” she called after me as we made our escape.
I really didn’t know, but I told her, “You’ll see,” hoping that she’d trust me.
Thankfully, she didn’t protest. She just followed behind me until we gained some much-needed distance and I could slow down. Then we walked side by side, her hand still in mine, the both of us quiet as we headed farther away from everyone else.
“Want to go to the beach?” I asked her.
She glanced up at me, her nose wrinkling. “Won’t other people be there?”
“Probably.” I glanced around and spotted a few couples already camped out near the shore. Guess we all had the same idea. “How about the lifeguard tower?”
“Seriously?” She sounded surprised at my suggestion.
“Yeah. We could see the whole lake from up there. And the stars.” It was actually an excellent location. We’d be high above everyone else but no one would really notice us. And I needed to keep this on the down low so my uncle wouldn’t catch us together.
“All right,” she agreed softly.
We went around the other side of the lake, where the tower was, and once we got there, I encouraged her to climb up first. “For safety reasons,” I told her. “I’ll be here to catch you in case you fall.”
Really I just wanted to check out her ass.
She scrambled up the slats, her butt looking pretty damn perfect in the denim cutoff shorts she wore, and I followed after her, settling in the chair beside her, my arm around the back of it. She scooted close, though she really didn’t touch me, and I knew I’d probably have to take this slow. She seemed pretty inexperienced, and I couldn’t push her too hard, but man.
I wanted to.
“It’s so pretty tonight,” she said, leaning forward to peer over the edge of the tower before she lifted her face to the sky. “Remember the last time I climbed up here to join you?”
“When you almost blew my eardrums out with the whistle?” I laughed and so did she. “Oh yeah, I remember.”
“I was so mad that you’d fallen asleep and so irritated with you just…in general. It felt really good to wake you up like that,” she admitted, glancing over at me.
“Yeah, well, I thought it sucked. Though I also noticed that day you were really pretty.” Her eyes went wide and I smiled. “You’re especially pretty when you’re mad.”
She laughed again, though the sound was nervous. “I don’t know if you really want me mad at you all the time.”
“I don’t,” I said, reaching out to touch her. I couldn’t help it. Her hair was soft and the moon shone down upon it, making the blond turn silvery in color. I tucked a thick strand behind her ear, tracing the curve before my hand fell away. “I like you much better like this.”
“Like what?” she asked in the barest whisper.
“You seem…I don’t know. Happy. Relaxed.” Our gazes locked, and I started to lean toward her, but she averted her head before I could actually kiss her. I slumped back against the seat, discouraged.
“Presley told us she asked you to sit with her tonight,” she said conversationally, like it was no big deal she just dropped that bomb in my lap.
I sat up straight. “I tried to let her down easy. I didn’t want to make her mad, but I didn’t want to say yes, either.”
“You don’t have to defend yourself. I know she said that just to bother me.” She glanced over her shoulder at me, looking so pretty she made my entire body ache with the need to touch her. “Besides, Kyle asked me to sit with him and I said no. Then he said he’d ask Presley instead, since he hadn’t kissed her since they were eleven.”
Her teasing smile was a distraction until what she said finally sank into my Annie-fogged brain. “Wait a minute. Kyle asked you to sit with him?”
“Well, yeah. I thought you assumed that.” When I sent her a blank look she continued. “You were glaring at us in the dining hall earlier.”
“Oh. Yeah.” I’d been overcome with jealousy and ready to tear him limb from limb.
“I didn’t want to sit with Kyle,” she admitted softly.
“No?” I was so glad to hear her say that.
She shook her head. “I don’t really like him anymore.”
“I’m glad.” I started to lean in toward her, but Annie turned away from me.
“I never did tell you my secret,” she murmured, her head tilted back. “About what happened to me when I was four.”
Ah, shit. I didn’t want tonight to take a dark turn. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I started, but she shook her head, took a deep breath, and I shut up.
“I want to tell you,” she stated firmly. “I trust you.”
Those three words warmed my chest, and I waited for her to continue.
“I was four and at a pool party with my parents and my…my baby brother.” Her voice faltered, and I frowned. She’d never mentioned a
little brother before. “I don’t remember much about it, just little bits and pieces in my memory, but I’ve heard the story many times before, so that’s what I’m telling you.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Anyway, everyone was outside. It was hot and the party centered by the pool at first, but when the sun went down, the temperature dropped. They all moved away from the pool and over to a giant deck that overlooked the city. The house was in the country, on a hill, and it was big. Sprawling everywhere, with gardens and a hot tub and the pool.” She kept her gaze firmly on the sky, as if she were telling the stars her story. “I remember my brother kept running away from me. He was barely two, maybe not even two yet. I went chasing after him and we ran around the pool again and again. I remember he kept laughing and so did I. But then he fell in the pool and I—I jumped in to grab him. I don’t know how long we were in there together but we were both pulled out about the same time and I survived. He didn’t.” She turned to face me, tears shining in her eyes. “His name was Rory.”
Ah, shit. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. “Come here,” I told her, opening my arms to her, and she fell into me, her body pressed close to mine, her face nestled in my neck. “I hate that you went through that experience, but I’m glad you survived.” I didn’t want to tell her I was sorry. I’d heard enough of those two words to last a lifetime and it never felt adequate, especially when it came to my mom.
So I just held her as she trembled in my arms, her breath warm on the sensitive skin of my neck, her hair in my face. I ran my fingers through the silky soft strands until she lifted her head away from my neck, her face so close to mine I could feel her breath feather across my lips. “It’s not something I talk about a lot,” she confessed softly.
“I can understand why.”
“I felt guilty for a long time. Like, why did I survive but he didn’t.”
“Do you still feel that way now?”
She slowly shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t want him to feel guilty if he was the one who lived and I died.”
“Is it wrong for me to admit I’m really glad you’re alive?” My gaze roved over her face, not sure where I should look—in her pretty dark blue eyes or at her sexy, full mouth? I wanted to kiss her so badly I could practically taste her.
“It’s not wrong. I’m glad you feel that way. I’m glad I’m alive, too. I feel lucky.” She dipped her head, looking down as she spoke. “I realized last year that if I was the one who died, I’d want him to live life to the fullest. Which was something I really wasn’t doing. Until I came here.”
“Summer camp changed your life?” I smiled, my fingers sliding out of her hair to actually skim her cheek, tipping her face up so her gaze met mine once more. Her skin was soft, and she trembled beneath my touch.
“No. You did,” she whispered, her gaze meeting mine.
Chapter Eighteen
ANNIE
Regret slammed into me hard when I saw his face after I said those words. I wanted to snatch them back, or hit the rewind button and pretend they never existed. He looked shocked, like I’d just stunned him silent with my admission.
I probably shouldn’t have said that. I probably shouldn’t have turned the night so serious with my confession about my baby brother, either, but I wanted to be open with him. I wanted him to know all of my secrets. And I’d never told anyone what happened to my brother. We moved soon after, my parents wishing for a fresh start. Considering I wasn’t in school yet, it was the ideal time to take that chance. Once we moved, no one talked about Rory.
It was like he never even existed.
“You’ve changed my life, too,” Jake whispered and I blinked up at him, seeing the sincerity glowing in his eyes. He licked his lips, his gaze dropping to my mouth, and I knew. I just knew that the moment I’d been waiting for was now.
He moved closer, angled his head as I lifted mine, and my eyes fell shut just as his mouth landed on mine. His lips were soft and full, warm and damp, and they lingered before he slowly pulled away.
My eyes cracked open to find him right there, watching me, so close and all mine to touch. I reached up and traced my fingers along the line of his jaw, the faint stubble growing there abrading my fingertips, and then his mouth was on mine once more. This kiss was longer, deeper. Leaving me breathless, making me want more. His hand cupped my face, his thumb skimming my jaw as I slipped my hand around his nape, diving my fingers into his hair.
His other arm slid around my waist and he gathered me close, his kiss growing firmer, his lips more insistent and making my head spin. A rush of heat swept through my body, and I forgot all about my troubles, my worries, everything, until all I could see and feel and taste was him.
He parted my lips with his tongue, and I let him. He cupped the back of my head, holding me captive, and I let him do that, too. I didn’t want him to ever stop. My first kiss was everything I wished it could be, with a boy who meant so much, even though I’d known him for only a short time. But he’d already become more than I could ever truly express to him.
Did he feel the same way? If I could 100 percent trust the way he kissed me, I would say yes. But I didn’t know. I didn’t think it was all one-sided, our feelings for each other, but I didn’t want to be the one who wanted more while he felt differently…
“If I don’t stop now, I don’t think I’ll ever want to stop,” he said once we ended the kiss. He pressed his forehead to mine, our accelerated breaths mingled together, and I smiled, wishing he would just kiss me again. I didn’t want to talk. We could just express all of our pent-up feelings with our lips attached.
Instead, he pulled away, shifting his arm so it was around my shoulders once more, and we both leaned back against the chair, staring up at the sky. The stars were out in force, since there was only a quarter of the moon making an appearance, and I tried my best to catch my breath. Calm my racing heart, my racing thoughts.
Did I kiss him okay, or maybe it wasn’t good enough? I’d never kissed a boy before, and I just followed his lead. But what if he thought I was totally inept? What if he preferred a girl with more experience, one who knew what she wanted and had no fear of going after it? I so wasn’t that girl. I was slowly learning how to be brave, but I wouldn’t call myself fearless.
All the questions piled up, one after another, especially since he remained so quiet. I started nibbling on my thumbnail, an old habit I’d been trying to break for the longest time.
“Thank you for telling me,” he finally said, his deep voice quiet. Steady.
Calming me enough that I dropped my hand into my lap.
“Telling you what?” I kept my gaze locked on the sky, and I could feel him turn to look at me. I liked the way I felt when he watched me. Like I was special. Like I meant something to him.
“About what happened to you, and how you lost your brother.” He reached over with his free hand and grasped hold of mine, interlocking our fingers. “We have something in common.”
My earlier worried thoughts evaporated in an instant, what with the way he kept sliding our fingers together. He rubbed his thumb across mine, back and forth, back and forth, his touch downright hypnotic, and my whole body tingled when he drew circles on my palm with his thumb. “What do you mean?”
“We both lost someone. Your brother died, and my mom died.” He hesitated. “I’ve never known anyone my age who’d lost someone from their family before. We probably understand each other better than anyone else.”
I finally turned to look at him and caught the sadness in his eyes. He held my hand tight, as if he needed the connection, and I angled my body more fully toward him, reaching out to touch his face. He lifted his gaze to mine, the sadness still there, raw and unmasked. He was hiding nothing from me, and I couldn’t help but feel honored he believed me worthy enough that he was able to reveal his true self, without all the walls he usually threw up.
“I hardly remember my brother, but you spent fourteen years with your mother.” I let my ha
nd drop away from his face, a little embarrassed that I could touch him so easily. This all felt so new, almost surreal. I’d wanted a summer boyfriend, and now I thought I had one, but that didn’t mean I knew how to act around him. “That’s a big difference.”
“Losing them made an impact on our lives,” he said. “That you can’t deny.”
I couldn’t. He was right. Because of those we lost, I became the girl who was afraid to live and he became the boy who was angry at the world.
“So maybe finding each other will make a bigger impact on us?” I asked hopefully. “A better impact?”
“I’d like to think that’s true, yeah,” he said as he leaned in and kissed me again. And again. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered against my lips, and because I’m me, I blushed. His fingers brushed my cheeks, the featherlight touch making me shiver. “You’re blushing. Your cheeks are hot.”
“It isn’t every day a boy tells me I’m beautiful,” I admitted, a sigh escaping me when he pressed his mouth to mine yet again. I could get used to this. Being held in Jake’s arms, his sweet yet hot kisses that made me want more.
“I should make that my new goal. Tell Annie every day just how beautiful she is,” he murmured against my mouth. “Because you are. Both inside and out.”
That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. And I never wanted to forget it. I never wanted to forget this entire moment.
Long minutes later, we reluctantly agreed that we should head back. He climbed down the tower first, and I followed after him, noticing that he was totally checking out my butt, the perv. He just gave me a big smile when I caught him and smoothed his hand over my backside once I landed on the ground, pushing me against the tower where he proceeded to kiss me until I couldn’t breathe.
“Jake.” I curled my fingers into the thin fabric of his shirt, feeling the heat from his firm body just beneath. “I need to get back to my cabin.”