CHAPTER LXXXI.
MR. MOLE AGAIN OUT OF LUCK.
Herbert Murray, attended by Chivey, was strolling down the principalstreet of the town, smoking his cigar, thinking how he could yet serveout young Jack, when he suddenly saw, on in front, the figure of anelderly man, who appeared to walk with difficulty.
He made such uncertain steps and singular movements, as he hobbledalong by the aid of a stick, that the effect, however painful to him,was ludicrous to the onlookers.
"Why, blest if it ain't old Mole, the man who came to bid youngHarkaway and his friends good-bye when we sailed," cried Chivey.
"Or his ghost," said Murray.
"I'll have a lark with him, sir," said the tiger, laying his fingeraside his nose, and winking knowingly. "You see!"
And walking nimbly and on tiptoe behind the old man, he soon caught upto him without his knowing it.
Murray halted at a little distance, ready to behold and enjoy thediscomfiture of Mole.
The reader must be informed that the venerable Isaac was thenexperimenting upon a new substitute for those unfortunate much damagedmembers, his cork legs.
An American genius, with whom he had recently made acquaintance in thetown, had induced Mole to try a pair of his "new patent-elastic-spring-non-fatiguing-self-regulating-undistinguishable-everlasting cork legs."
The inventor had helped Mr. Mole to put on these formidable"understandings," and given him every instruction with regard to theirmanagement.
"They'll be a little creaky at first," said the American; "nothing innature works slick when it's quite new, but when you get 'em well intowear, they'll go along like greased lightning; now try them, old hoss."
Creaky indeed they were, for they made a noise almost as loud as arailway break; but what was even worse was that the Yankee had failedto inform Mole of the fact that the "new patent" etc., were only fittedto act perfectly on a smooth surface.
Now the roadway, or footway--for they are all the same in those oldTurkish towns--are the very reverse of smooth, being principallycomposed of round nubbly stones.
Consequently Mole's locomotion was the reverse of pleasant.
Chivey crept up behind the old schoolmaster, and seizing an opportunityand one of his legs, gave it a pull, which caused Mole to roar withfright.
Down, of course, came Mole on the nubbly pavement, but Chivey didn'thave exactly the fun he expected, for instead of his getting safelyaway, Mole fell on him.
"Oh, it's you, is it? You, the bad servant of a bad man's wicked son,"exclaimed the angered tutor; "it's you who dare to set upon defencelessage and innocence, with its new cork legs on? Very good. Then takethat, and I hope you won't like it."
Whereat he began pommelling away at Chivey.
Chivey roared with all his might, till a small crowd of wonderingonlookers began to collect.
"What do you mean by daring to assault my servant in this manner?"asked Murray sternly, as he came up.
"He attacked me first," protested Mole; "and it's my belief you set himon to do it."
"How dare you insinuate----" began Murray, and he violently shook theold man by the collar.
But there was more spirit in Mole than Herbert was prepared for.
By the aid of a post, the old man managed to struggle to his feet, andleaning against this, he felt he could defy the enemy.
"My lad," he said, "it's evident that you didn't get enough floggingwhen you were at school, or you'd know better manners; I must take youin hand a bit now, sir, there!"
With his stick he gave a cut to the palm of Murray's hand, just as hewas wont to do to refractory pupils in the old days.
Murray was livid with rage.
Chivey, now rather afraid of Mole, didn't interfere.
"Come on, if you like, and have some more," said Mole, and shaking hisstick at both of them, he again urged on his wild career.
Very wild indeed it was, too.
Mole's patent legs, which outwardly looked natural ones, were indeedself-regulating, for they were soon utterly beyond the control of thewearer; they seemed to be possessed of wills of their own; one wishedto go to the right, the other to the left.
Sometimes they would carry him along in double quick march time, andanon halt, beyond all his power of budging.
Of course the boys of the town were attracted by the stranger'ssingular movements, and began to hoot and jeer.
The merchants were interrupted at their calculations, the bazaarkeepers came to their doors, long pipe in mouth, to see what the "sonof Sheitan" was about.
Mole was red in the face with such hard work.
"Confound the Turks," he cried; "why don't they make their roadssmoother? Oh, dear, I wish I could manage these unhappy legs; therethey go."
By this time the crowd had become unpleasantly dense around him.
"Out of the way, un-Christian dogs," cried Mole, flourishing his stickround his head; "I'm an Englishman, and I've a right to--hallo! thereit goes again."
"'OUT OF THE WAY, UNCHRISTIAN DOGS,' CRIED MOLE."--TINKER, VOL. II.]
For here his left leg took two steps to the right, and he came downwith all his weight upon the toe of a white-bearded Alla-hissite.
"Son of a dog," growled the old Turk, as he rubbed his pet corn inagony; "may your mother's grave be defiled, and the jackass bray overyour father's bones."
"I really beg your pardon," began Mole, but just at this moment hisright leg was taken with a spasmodic action, and began to stride alongat a furious rate, creaking like mad.
Mole lost all control (if he ever had any) over his own movements, andwas carried forward again, till he came where Herbert Murray andChivey, having made a _detour_, happened to be just turning thecorner of the street.
"Stop me," yelled Mole, as he flourished his stick over his head; "myspring legs are doing what they like with me. I have no control overthem. Oh, dear, they are at it again."
Chivey, undeterred by his recent castigation, thought he would repeatthe trick, so, when Mole came up, he, by a dexterous jerk, turned himround as on a pivot.
He was thus stopped in his forward course, but this didn't check theaction of his clockwork legs, which now scudded along as swiftly asbefore, into the very heart of the yelling crowd.
The result was rather bad for the Turks; they went down like a lot ofninepins before Mole's railway-like progression.
"A mad Christian," they cried; "he is possessed with a devil; down withhim."
The perspiration streamed from Mole's face; he felt that if thespring-work in his new cork legs did not stop, he should die.
At this moment a body of women approached, closely veiled.
Their _yashmaks_ obscured all but their eyes, which could be seen toopen wide in wonder at the extraordinary behaviour of the red-facedgiaour.
Two of the younger and slender ones fell with piercing screams beforeMole's impetuous charge.
A third, a stout woman of middle age, stood her ground, and Mole,before he could stop himself, rushed into her arms, and floored her.
The scream she gave surpassed in loudness that of all the others puttogether; and brought up several ferocious-looking Turks, bent oncondignly punishing the outrageous conduct of the mad Englishman.
"Death to the giaour; down with him!" roared the excited crowd.
What fate he would have suffered we dread to think, but he found anunexpected deliverer in the person of the old white-bearded Turk, whosecorns he had trodden on.
"Defile not your hands with the blood of the unbeliever," he said; "buttake him before the cadi to answer his conduct."
"To the cadi, to the cadi!" was now the cry.
"Hear me," said Mole, astonishing himself by his proficiency inTurkish; "I am not to blame, but at all events, take up those two otherEnglishmen who assaulted me."
He pointed to Murray and Chivey, who had by this time got into a densecrowd of Turks, whom they were elbowing in an angry manner.
"Take all the infidels before the cadi," cried t
he Turks.
Herbert Murray and Chivey were accordingly seized, and the whole threeborne off to one doom.
The cadi was seated in his divan, administering justice, as was hiscustom, in the open air.
His style of doing so was summary, but vigorous.
"Let the giaour, who has unwarrantably assaulted the true believers,receive one hundred lashes," he said; "or pay fifty pieces of silver toour treasury."
"I haven't got the money," said Mole.
"Then receive the punishment," said the cadi.
This time there was no ceremony used; two negroes bound Mole, pulledoff his shoes and stockings, and exposed to view the new patent steelclock-work legs.
"Allah, what have we here?" cried the cadi. "Is the Christianenchanted, to be half man, half machinery?"
"My lord," said Mole, "if you'll only permit me to speak, I'll explainall.
"Having lost my legs in the wars, helping the Turks to beat their foes,I have been induced to try as a substitute this new invention, andbehold, the legs were enchanted, and I had no control over them."
"Allah kerim! Can this be?" exclaimed the cadi.
"That was the whole reason of my conduct, your excellency," pursuedMole; "otherwise, I would perish sooner than have attacked truebelievers. But these infidels," he added, pointing to Murray andChivey, "first attacked me, as many here may bear witness."
"If that be so," said the magistrate, "we will remit your sentence onpayment of fifty sequins."
"Gladly would I pay the sum if I had it," said Mole; "but I haven't."
"Search him," cried the cadi.
Mole was searched, but the investigations of the officer could notbring to light a greater sum in his pockets than a bad sixpence and abattered fourpenny-piece.
"Little enough," grumbled the cadi, pocketing the amount; "but as it isall you have, I consent to take it. We must have it out of the otherinfidels; they too are English, and look rich. Bring them before me."
Herbert Murray and Chivey were accordingly examined.
Mole gave evidence as to their assaulting him, though they utterlydenied doing so, but Mole's statement being backed up by severalbelievers who had witnessed it, the judge declared both guilty, andsentenced them to the bastinado.
"Me bastinadoed!" exclaimed the indignant Murray,. "I'd have you know,sir, that I'm an Englishman of rank, of influence, of property,and----"
"Of influence, eh? Very good; then you'll have to pay a fine of fivehundred sequins," cried the cadi, exultantly.
"I swear that I haven't----"
"Search the infidels," cried the cadi.
The officers did so, and altogether twenty-five pounds, in gold, notesand silver, were found upon Murray and Chivey.
With an audible chuckle, the cadi took possession of it all.
"There," he said; "so now go in peace, all of you; and if I find youmaking another disturbance in the town, it will be bastinado and gaol,as well as a fine. Go, infidels, and remember the grand Turk."