I hopped in the car and headed toward the valley.
Traffic had given me time to gather my thoughts and words in case I was lucky enough to find Shay at the assisted living home. But after an hour of a brake light symphony, I had nothing. My feelings for Shay were still so strong, I couldn't think straight enough to put them in any reasonable order.
I pulled up to the parking lot. I'd left my Ferrari and taken the jeep I bought myself. Driving the Ferrari was impractical, and I'd started to hate the attention. I scanned the lot and was thoroughly disappointed not to see Shay's car. At the same time, I was relieved. I wasn't sure I was ready to see her or even talk to her. Then there was the distinct possibility that she'd run or tell me to go away when she saw me.
She had visited her grandmother every other day, so there was a fifty-fifty chance I'd shown up on the wrong day. I wondered if there was a visitor's log in the reception area. It seemed likely. I climbed out of the car. Dark clouds had been hovering all morning, and it seemed they'd be dropping rain soon enough. It would be the first storm of the season.
The pathway to the entrance was lined with hanging pots of flowers and a small fountain gurgled just right of the sliding doors. It was a nice facility. I had no doubt it cost Shay a lot of money to keep her grandmother in the home.
A small table with a large ledger sat off to the side of the front lobby. The woman behind the counter height desk lifted her face from her computer. "Can I help you?" she asked.
"I was going to sign the guest book."
"That's fine. Who are you here to see?" she asked, catching me fully off guard.
I walked to the counter. "Well, that's where you could help me out. This is my first visit here."
"Yes, I figured that." The woman took off her glasses, apparently to get a better look at me. "I've never seen you before."
"Right. I'm here for a friend, actually. Her grandmother lives here. My friend's name is Shay Starling."
Her brows arched up at the name. "Right. What did you say your name was?" She stood quickly from her chair.
"Nash Archer. Is something wrong?"
"No, not at all. Just a moment." She scurried into the back office. Seconds later another woman appeared in a gray pencil skirt and a starched white blouse.
"Mr. Archer?" she asked.
"Yes. As I told the other woman, I'm just here looking for a friend—"
"Yes, Shay Starling. Margaret's granddaughter."
"Right. Has she been here recently?"
"Actually, we haven't seen her in two weeks, and we're hoping you might know how we could contact her. I'm afraid she's got an overdue bill. If I don't hear from her by next week, I'll have to call social services to move her grandmother to a state facility."
This was my fault. I'd screwed up Shay's entire life. She'd quit her job and now she was behind on her bills. She'd left my house without a cent, but at least I would be able to pay her some of what I owed. I pulled out my wallet.
"How much is she behind?"
The woman's eyes lit up when she saw my wallet. "Eight thousand. That includes nurse visits, food,—"
"Work up an invoice for a year." I pulled my card out.
My request had silenced both women. "I don't think you understand, Mr. Archer. Eight thousand is the cost for one month. It's a highly regarded facility, and we offer premium care."
"I'm not questioning that. I just need you to write up an invoice. I'd like to pay for a year in advance."
"I see." She cleared her throat, and cast a secretive look at her coworker that was anything but secretive. Minutes later, the woman returned with a bill for a hundred and three thousand dollars. I paid it and had her make me a copy, giving her the original to hand to Shay when she returned. If nothing else, at least I was able to repay her for part of the contract.
32
"I'm at the back table," Jack texted as I walked into the restaurant. It was one of those cheesy restaurants decorated with colorful pots and fake plants. The furniture in the dining room was mismatched and the glasses were plastic, but they served excellent food. It had been a month since the funeral, a month since Shay had walked out of my life.
Jack already had three empty beers in front of him, and it seemed he'd plowed through a basket of tortilla chips. "I thought I'd been stood up. I just asked for some more chips."
I sat down and motioned to the server for a beer. "I was on a phone conference with Maxine and Sheryl. They've got the prototype lab set up and ready to go. So keep those slick, ass hugging bike shorts on hand. We might be taking that ride down the Alta Dena trail soon."
"Sounds good to me. I need a break. Been working too hard these days. Speaking of Alta Dena—have you heard from her?"
It was strange having a her in a conversation, a woman who he didn't even need to call by name. Jack and I had been friends a long time, and there had never been a her. "No word."
"I should have guessed by those droopy jowls of yours."
The server brought my beer and the chips. I picked up the bottle and poured it in the glass. "You don't look much better," I noted.
"Yeah, Rylie and I ended it. We weren't right for each other. She likes order and predictability and responsibility. I'm none of those things."
I held up my beer. "Well, here's to being none of those things."
"Have you met with your mom yet?" Jack sat up and grabbed a chip.
"Not yet. We talked briefly while she was at the airport waiting for a flight to New York. She has a sister over there. We'll meet when she gets back."
The server walked over to take my order. "The taco plate and add avocado."
Jack leaned over to watch her walk away. "Nice legs. Are you looking forward to meeting with your mom?"
"Not sure. I don't think she'll be too impressed to realize that I'm just a younger version of my dad."
Jack coughed on some beer and grabbed a napkin to wipe his mouth. "You're not anything like your dad." He tilted his head side to side. "Well, you are richer than most of the people on earth and you have the same name but that's where the similarity ends. Trust me, buddy, I wouldn't be sitting here eating stale chips with David Archer senior. We would have never been friends. And after I saw you with Shay—"
He stopped when I flashed him an angry glare. "You're right. Sore subject. Not another word. Although, that's too bad because it would be the best example to show you just how different you are from your old man."
"Really?" I looked at him in disbelief. "I wrote up a fucking contract to have her walking around my house teasing me with her seductive charms just so I could knock myself out of a sex addiction."
"It was a little creepy, I'll admit. But it worked. How many women have you slept with since you scared her off for good?"
"Again, how the hell did I talk myself into keeping you around?"
"Fine, I could have phrased that better. But you haven't answered my question."
"It's only been a month."
"Yep, and the old Nash would have slept with a dozen women in that time."
I leaned back with my beer. "Not in the mood. I'm still in mourning."
His loud laugh caught the attention of the two women next to us having dinner. Jack lifted his beer and winked at them. They smiled back. "My weeks out of practice haven't left me scarred. I've still got it," he bragged. "Which is more than I can say for you. You look scarred and then some."
I opened my mouth to protest, but he put up his hand.
"It's all right, Nash. I understand. I don't think I could have let a woman like Shay walk away and come out of it unscathed. And you two—" He sipped some beer. "Something just worked between you. She added that little magic I always kid you about, that magic you need to become a real boy. Like Pinocchio."
I rolled my eyes. "You are very repetitive, do you know that? And she's gone. I fucked up in many ways. I plan never to let myself become a real boy again. Hurts too much, the whole human emotion thing."
"If you say so, DNA." Jac
k scooped up a lump of salsa on a chip. "It's just kind of sad to see her working at that crummy strip joint again. She looked kind of right in your beach house."
I stared at him, trying to decide what the hell he was talking about. "What are you rambling about? Shay quit her job at Fantasm. She hated working there."
"Yes, but I'll bet it pays well. Especially with all those nice tips. She must have raked in five hundred bucks last night."
I sat forward so fast, the chair scraped the floor. "Shay was at Fantasm? Last night?"
"Sure was." He shoved the chip in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed. "But since you prefer to stay a puppet."
I was out of the chair before he could finish.
"Avoid Rocky, he doesn't like you," Jack called as I raced out of the restaurant.
33
Just seeing her car sent my pulse into overdrive. I had no plan because I knew the second I laid eyes on her I'd forget the plan anyhow. Bon Jovi music thrummed through the front door as I opened it. It was her music.
Rocky glanced up from filling a pitcher of beer. "Ah shit, not you again. I just got her back," he shouted over the din of the crowd.
I shrugged at him and headed through the frenzied audience to the front of the stage. My fists curled and I clamped my jaw, but I was determined not to act like a fucking jealous bull. She was up there to earn a living, and the men standing around the tables were just there for the entertainment. They just happened to really adore this part of the show. And as it happened, so did I.
I pushed past the front line and reached the edge of the stage. I squinted up past the blinding lights to the woman spiraling around the pole in the center of the stage. Her face clipped past and her eyes caught my gaze for a second. The supple blonde was wearing the black tails and vest and dancing to Shay's music, but it wasn't Shay.
I braced my hands against the stage in relief. Two steps from the stage, I visualized myself throwing my fist at every leering face.
I swung around and pushed back through the cloud of sweat and beer breath. My gaze swept the room and landed on the white blonde hair under the neon green bar sign. Shay was filling beers behind the counter.
I texted Jack. "Hey fuckface, you didn't tell me she was tending bar."
"Oh didn't I?" he wrote back. "I ate your tacos, by the way."
I shoved the phone into my pocket. With the crowd at the bar, Shay was too busy to look around the barroom. It seemed she hadn't seen me yet, or if she had, she was deftly ignoring me. Rocky was still working at the opposite end of the counter.
I headed up to the bar and managed to push my way up to the counter. Shay was occupied filling a drink order and hadn't noticed me walk up, which gave me a few minutes to watch her and take in every familiar nose crinkle and half smile as she worked.
She walked to the place at the counter where I stood. She never lifted her long lashes as she leaned down to grab a bottle of rum from under the counter. She straightened and her brown eyes swept past my face.
She froze before turning back to me. "Nash."
"I was trying to figure out exactly when it happened, when the woman stole my heart. Was it the way she smiled even though she was living in her car and working in a dive? Was it that day when I watched her in the shower, the most erotic fucking thing I've ever experienced and I never even touched her. Was it the way she could down a hamburger like a lumberjack? Or was it when she took hold of my hand at the funeral because more than anything at that moment I needed to feel her touch?"
Shay's eyes were glassy as she stared at me, seemingly speechless.
"I love you, Shay. I want you in my life, but I understand if you don't want me in yours. I promise I won't bother you here again. You know where to find me."
As I headed out, my heart pounded as I listened over the clamor of the crowd, hoping to hear that deep, sultry voice say my name. But I never heard it. I walked out to the parking lot and climbed into the jeep. I glanced back at the bar one time, hoping to hell I'd see her standing there at the door, waving me down, running toward me, ready to throw herself into my arms. But why would she? As many reasons as she gave me to fall in love with her, I gave her no reason at all to love me. I was raised for the sole purpose of making money. My dad could be proud. Just like everything else he did, his project, David Nash Junior, had turned out exactly as he planned.
34
The weather was perfect, but it didn't help my mood. Once I'd hit the sand and started my run, my feet just rammed ahead on their own. I needed to clear my thoughts. I wasn't sorry that I'd taken one last chance to get Shay back into my life. Now, at least, I knew that the attraction and admiration was only coming from one side, my side. I'd at least had the opportunity to help her financially, even though it was hardly enough. She had transformed me into a different person. She'd opened up a piece of my soul that I was sure had been erased by my harsh childhood. A hundred grand was not enough.
I pulled off my shirt and wiped my chest and face with it as I climbed the stairs to the house. As I slid open the door and walked inside, a small sound came from the kitchen.
Shay stepped around the corner dressed in a teal blue lace body suit that was cut high up the hips and low on the cleavage. She was sipping a soda. "Hope you don't mind I let myself in. I remembered the pass code."
I could hardly hear her over the pounding in my chest.
Shay put the soda down on the counter. "You paid for my grandmother's hospital care."
"I owed you money. I had no other way to repay you."
She shrugged. "You still owe me nine hundred thousand. But I guess you can pay me back a dollar a day for the next nine hundred thousand days."
"Fuck. You're real. You're standing here."
"Did you think I was a mirage?"
"Something like that," I said as I closed the gap between us.
I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. As she melted against me, I groaned, thinking how badly I'd been wanting exactly that—Shay supple and willing in my arms letting me know she was mine.
I lifted my mouth from hers. She peered up at me.
"Maybe you haven't changed me as much as I thought because I'm thinking of about a hundred ways I want to fuck you in that lacy lingerie."
The sexy line on the side of her mouth appeared. "Oh really? Well, let's start with number one and go from there." She threw her arms around my neck and wrapped herself around me as I carried her to the bedroom.
I placed her feet on the floor and reached into the nightstand for a condom. "I'm sweaty from a run. Should I shower?"
Shay knelt on the bed and looked back at me over her shoulder. The thin strap of lace on the crotch of the lingerie disappeared deep into the folds of her pussy. "You could, but I'm so hot right now, I might have to start without you." She rolled onto her bottom and leaned back on her hands to give me a better view of her breasts.
"So . . . that's a no." I pushed my shorts to the floor.
Shay laughed as I dove onto the bed, my face landing right between her legs. "I've got to taste you, darlin', before I go out of my fucking mind." I scooted my face closer, her scent already making me crazy with wanting her. "Rest back and reach your hands up over your head."
As she leaned back and reached up her arms, I ripped the thin piece of lace on the crotch. The lacy material rode up above her pussy. I looked at her over the soft mound. Her eyes drifted closed. I lowered my mouth to her pussy and trailed hot kisses along it until she whimpered and spread her thighs wider in invitation.
I pressed my fingers against her and spread her wide to tease her clit until she was gasping for more. "I knew I'd love the way you taste, baby. You're my tiny dancer. You're mine from now on." I dove my tongue into her. She cried out in pleasure.
Shay pressed her feet against the mattress, and I lifted her ass higher with my free hand. I kissed and licked her, enjoying every inch of her.
She lowered her hands and tangled her fingers in my hair. "I want you, Nash. Now, please. I want t
o come with you inside of me." Just hearing the words nearly took me to the point of no return.
Reluctantly, I pulled my mouth from her pussy and quickly rolled on the condom.
Shay was reaching for my arms as I lowered myself over her. "This is all I want right now," she whispered. "You holding me in your arms while you fuck me and tell me how much you want me. Nothing else, just that." Her voice wavered as she spoke, and the sound of it twisted around my heart.
I lowered myself over her and gently pushed my cock into her, feeling her wet heat as I went deeper. She fit me like a glove. I knew she would. I knew she was made for me. I placed my hand against the side of her face as I pumped into her. "I want you, Shay. I've never needed anything so badly as I need you."
She curled her arms around my neck and pulled my mouth to hers. "This time, let's try it without a contract."
"Good idea." I pushed my mouth down over hers.
35
Six months later
Shay was like a little kid, leaning down to see out the window of the jeep. "Now will you tell me where we're going? I've never seen this part of the city before." She looked back at me. "It's kind of depressing."
I pulled into the alley that led behind the big empty building. "We're here."