‘At home on the Peak with the family,’ I said. ‘We’re not going anywhere because everything we love and need is right here.’
‘You sure Ah Wu doesn’t have something organised?’ the Tiger said. He grinned. ‘I wouldn’t put it past him to surprise you with a snap honeymoon somewhere romantic. And you’re so damn clever that you’d know if he did.’
John grunted.
‘No,’ I said fiercely. ‘I would know, and he hasn’t. And even if he did, I wouldn’t tell you.’
The Tiger opened his mouth to argue with me.
‘Who’s next for photos?’ I said. ‘Jade?’ I pushed the Tiger away. ‘We don’t have much time left before the ceremony and there are still two dozen people waiting there.’
Jade came up onto the platform and whispered in my ear. ‘You’re not really going straight back to work on the Earthly, are you?’
‘We may take a break when everything settles down,’ I said as the Tiger escorted his wives down off the platform and the Dragon brought up the infant tree, which was now in the form of a ten-year-old child. ‘But right now we want to spend time with our family and treasure what we have.’
She smiled and squeezed my hand. ‘I understand.’
* * *
John looked magnificent as we strode over the arched bridges through the residential side of the Northern Palace. The crowd cheered for us as we passed through the gate into the main square of the administrative side. All the residents of the Northern Heavens were present, with a camera crew at the back transmitting proceedings to the rest of the Celestial.
The cheering intensified when we arrived at the Hall of Dark Justice and walked side by side up the stairs to stand on the platform. The Jade Emperor was there to preside over the ceremony, and he nodded to both of us. I looked around for the rest of the family, but they weren’t there. They’d probably join us after the Jade Emperor had finished doing his thing.
I took John’s hand and he squeezed it.
‘We are here to witness the joining of Lord Xuan Wu of the Northern Heavens and Lady Emma Donahoe of Australia in the bond of marriage,’ the Jade Emperor began, and proceeded to make a speech about the war and our part in it, praising both of us for our military ability and intelligence.
‘Simone won it for us,’ I said under my breath.
‘Let him have his fun,’ John said.
I zoned out as the Jade Emperor droned interminably about the war and our victory. I swayed on my feet; I really did feel exhausted. John held me close, nearly propping me up.
The Jade Emperor stopped talking, jerking me out of my daze. John patted my back.
‘The couple have chosen to make Western-style vows to each other,’ the Jade Emperor said. ‘Lord Xuan.’
I opened my mouth to protest.
Just go along with it, Jade said. The Emperor thought that doing this part Western-style would be a nice authentic touch to respect your heritage. I found some standard Western wedding vows and printed them out for him.
When did he decide to do this without telling us? I said.
Totally last minute. Sorry, Emma.
‘Repeat after me,’ the Jade Emperor said to John. ‘I vow to take you, my Lady Emma, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.’
John gazed into my eyes as he repeated the vows.
‘Lady Emma Donahoe, repeat after me,’ the Jade Emperor said. ‘I, Emma Donahoe, vow to take you, my Lord, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to love and obey from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.’
I opened my mouth to say ‘Not obey’ but the Jade Emperor interrupted me. Please just go along with this. Don’t cause a fuss; everybody in the Heavens is watching you.
I put my arm out and summoned Dark Heavens, but the sword didn’t come. This was wrong. This was completely wrong. John would never expect me to obey him. When I’d pledged allegiance to him and vowed to obey him as a martial arts student, it had broken his heart and he’d performed sword katas for hours afterwards. He would never stand there smiling at me, waiting for me to promise to obey.
I had the horrifying realisation — I was Black Jade. I was the copy. The real Emma was stored somewhere and they would use her to blackmail John.
I opened my mouth to yell at John and wake him out of this dream.
‘I, Emma Donahoe, vow to take you, my Lord, to be my lawfully wedded husband,’ I said, the words coming unbidden. I struggled to stop myself but I couldn’t. ‘To love and obey from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.’
Thank you, the Jade Emperor said. ‘I now pronounce you husband and wife.’
The crowd below went wild. The Jade Emperor turned and sat, then smiled at us benignly. I tried to break whatever was binding me, but they had me. I shook with the effort.
Jade floated up the stairs holding a tray with the teacups on it. John took one and presented it to the Jade Emperor, seemingly oblivious to what was really happening.
The Emperor sipped it, and Jade held the tray out to me. I took a teacup and studied it, then looked up at the Jade Emperor as he continued to smile like a kindly relative.
I stuck all my fingers into the tea, which had gone cold during the interminable ceremony, and screamed in my head at the spirit of the water: Xuan Wu John I’m Black Jade I’m the copy I’m not the real Emma!
The water in the teacup changed to ice, and I dropped it. The ice grew and rose from the stones, making the air around us dark and cold. John and the Jade Emperor staggered back, but I held my ground. John had to destroy me and find the real Emma.
The water coalesced into another John, in Celestial Form and holding Seven Stars.
‘Yes, you are,’ he said, and ran the sword through the Jade Emperor, then through the John next to me. They disintegrated like demons into black essence.
He spun and swung to take Jade’s head off, and the world around us changed to something entirely different — a small windowless hall, empty of people — then everything twisted and collapsed.
36
‘Totally ruined,’ Jade said with exasperation. ‘Those robes took weeks to make and they’re gone. The schedule is wrecked, we don’t have time for the martial arts demonstrations, this is a disaster.’
‘It would be more of a disaster if she hadn’t been quick enough to call me,’ John said. ‘Even controlled by the robe and heavily dosed with opium, she had the wit to contact me through my element.’
‘She’s still asleep,’ the stone said. ‘Have you cleared it all?’
‘It may take a while to work its way out of her system,’ John said.
I opened my eyes. I was lying on the living room couch in our apartments in the Northern Heavens. Jade, John and my stone — in Chinese form, but instantly recognisable — were standing over me. I was under a blanket in my underwear.
I shot upright. ‘I’m not the real Emma!’ I grabbed John’s sleeve. ‘John! You have to find her, she’s out there . . .’ It all flooded back to me. ‘Did I just marry a demon?’
‘Did you say the vows?’ the stone said.
‘Stone!’ I leapt up to hug it, and hesitated. I looked around at them. Were they the real Jade and John and stone?
‘Are you sure this is the real Emma?’ Jade said, studying me.
‘It’s her,’ John said.
‘Jade,’ I said.
‘Ma’am?’
‘Have you printed out Western wedding vows for the Jade Emperor?’
‘What? You want Western wedding vows? Why did you never mention that before?’
‘Yes. I want the Western vows,’ I said. ‘To love, honour and obey Lord Xuan.’
John stepped back, shocked. ‘They’re still controlling her; it’s more than just the robe and the drugs. She would kill herself
before vowing to obey me.’
‘I wanted to, believe me,’ I said.
He summoned Dark Heavens.
‘No, wait, I was testing you,’ I said. ‘The . . . whatever they were . . . demons, copies, they made me vow to obey you. It was like a dream . . .’ I wiped my eyes. ‘Is that really you?’
He put his sword away. ‘Go ahead and check for yourself.’
I opened my Inner Eye on him. The Xuan Wu spread before me, vast and dark and cold. ‘Okay, that’s you. Nothing else could possibly be that ugly.’
‘It’s absolutely her,’ John said.
I turned back to the stone. ‘Is that really the Jade Building Block?’
‘It is,’ John said.
‘Where the hell have you been?’
‘I don’t know.’ The stone smiled wryly. ‘Big chunks of my memory are gone; you’ll have to help me.’
‘How much do you remember?’ I said.
‘We don’t have time for this,’ Jade said. ‘They’re all waiting in the square outside Dark Justice. Explain after the wedding.’
‘Emma,’ John said, ‘did you say the vows?’
‘Uh . . .’ I struggled to recall. ‘Yes, I did, but under duress.’
‘She married BJ,’ the stone said.
‘BJ was under duress as well,’ John said.
‘No, she wasn’t, my Lord; she seems in control of all her faculties,’ the stone said. ‘Here is Gold.’
Gold hurried in. I stared at him; he was less than two-thirds his usual height, only just over a metre tall.
He stopped and quickly turned away. ‘So sorry, ma’am.’
‘What?’ I realised I was in my underwear. ‘Oh, come on, Gold, you’re a stone.’
‘Well?’ John said.
‘There is precedent,’ Gold said without turning towards me. ‘Empress Wu had more than one husband. It’s permissible. We’ll dissolve the marriage with BJ later. Just go and do the wedding stuff and we’ll sort it all out when it’s finished.’
‘What happened to BJ?’ I said, pulling the blanket around me. ‘I’m covered up.’
Gold turned back to face me. ‘We have her restrained.’
‘Six did more than experiment on her,’ John said. ‘She was one of theirs all along.’
‘No, they’re just controlling her,’ Gold said. ‘She can’t be one of them. She’s my child. We’ll find a way to free her. We have to.’
‘Talk about this later. Wedding now!’ Jade said.
‘Where’s my robe?’ I said.
Gold made a soft sound of pain. ‘They extracted elemental gold from my stone self and used it as thread in the robes. That’s what was controlling you.’
‘That silk never came from the Dragon, did it?’
‘No,’ John said. ‘I panicked when Jade tapped on the door — you and the robes were gone. I thought you’d made a run for it. We looked everywhere for you, and I was ready to break things when you spoke to me through my element.’
‘We don’t have time to talk about this, we have to move!’ Jade said. ‘I have your armour here, Emma. Change to Celestial Form and I’ll help you put it on.’
I changed to Celestial Form wearing my jeans and shirt, and tossed the blanket aside. John changed as well, into his black silk robes and usual dress armour with the Big Dipper on the breastplate.
‘Jeans?’ Jade said to me as she lifted the dress armour. ‘You can’t wear jeans! Can you summon a robe?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘This is it.’
‘I don’t have anything big enough!’ she said with exasperation. ‘My Lord?’
‘I don’t do clothes for others, Jade, you know I don’t. I can barely do clothes for myself. Can you do a Mountain uniform, Emma?’
‘I don’t know . . .’ My jeans and shirt changed to the plain black pants and jacket. ‘Yes.’
‘Quickly,’ Jade said, helping me with the dress armour. She fiddled with the buckles. ‘We have to hurry.’ She stepped back. ‘Close enough. Let’s go.’
How do you know you can trust Gold and the Building Block if BJ is a demonic agent? I said to John as we went out of the Residence into the courtyard.
The Jade Emperor himself cleared them. He is waiting at Dark Justice.
I nodded. Okay, I suppose we can trust him. I married BJ?
The stones were held in demon shells, the same way that child was. They were completely controlled by the demons.
* * *
All the family were waiting for us: Simone, Frankie, Martin and Yue Gui. Simone and Frankie rushed to me and hugged me. Martin and Yue Gui patted my shoulders.
‘It’s really you,’ Simone said. ‘I was so worried! You were gone for hours.’
‘Hurry!’ Jade said. ‘Everybody into position.’
The dull day from my dream was gone and bright sunshine made the Palace around us shine. The crystalline Celestial sky was clear of clouds; a lovely mild winter’s day.
Lucy Chen, the Wudang weapons master, rushed into the courtyard with curlers in her hair and a floral dressing gown over her underwear, her portly figure making the gown bulge.
‘Good, you found her,’ she said.
‘Master Chen, what are you doing?’ Jade said.
‘This is important,’ Lucy said. ‘Start now or after the ceremony?’
‘Now,’ Yue said. ‘Go.’
Lucy’s curlers disappeared and her long black hair fell over her shoulders. She bent forward and tossed it back into a mass of thick curls, then grew into a gorgeous young woman, nearly as tall as John, in a floating red robe. Her hair lifted into small buns on top of her head, and gold pins appeared in it. She held her hand out, Yue tapped her fingertips, and Lucy disappeared.
‘What was that about?’ Jade said.
‘It’s a competition,’ I said. ‘The one with the most . . . conquests at the end of the party wins.’
‘But doesn’t Princess Yue have the advantage?’ Jade said. ‘I mean, she’s a . . .’
‘Use your eyes, Jade; Lucy’s a turtle as well,’ John said. ‘She’s my weapons master, of course she is.’
‘Conquests?’ Simone said. ‘Seriously?’
I shrugged. ‘Turtles.’
‘Dragon hunting,’ Yue said with grim pleasure.
‘Hurry,’ Jade said. ‘Dark Lord and Lady first, then Prince Ming and Princess Yue, then Princess Simone and Prince Franklin. Swing in from the north, land on the cleared space in front of the hall, and stop to let the photographers do their thing. Then up the stairs to the Jade Emperor. Ming and Yue to the right; Simone and Frankie to the left. Any questions?’
Nobody replied.
‘Then go, and I’ll see you in the hall! And you two.’ She glared and stabbed her index finger at us. ‘The Jade Emperor says that if you do a single thing to upset this ceremony, he will free me from your service and you’ll have to find someone else to do your books.’
John didn’t reply; he just raised his head, took my hand, and floated up and over the north side of the Hall of Dark Justice. I checked behind us: the Number Ones and the children were flying in formation, Frankie grinning like an idiot as he held Simone’s hand.
John surrounded us in a bubble of glittering water as we topped over the Hall of Dark Justice and floated to land in front of it. The staff had opened the accordion doors that made up the walls of the hall, revealing its full interior — something that had only happened twice in the hall’s lifetime. The Jade Emperor sat on his throne on a dais inside, clearly visible high above the crowd.
We drifted down to the cleared area and John dismissed the water. We stood and waited as the rest of the entourage landed, and gave the photographers plenty of time to take pictures of us. Then John turned, took my hand, and floated us over the central ramp, carved in black marble with a representation of himself in True Form. We landed at the top and knelt in front of the Jade Emperor. Simone and Frankie knelt to our left, and Martin and Yue to our right.
The Jade Emperor stood to address the crowd.
I had a sudden feeling of déjà vu: he was about to praise us interminably again. At least I didn’t feel dull and tired.
I opened my Inner Eye on John again, reassuring myself that it was really him.
Yes, it’s really me, he said. And you are really you, and this whole thing is a circus.
‘The Dark Lord and the Dark Lady are two spirits joined in ways that many of us can only aspire to,’ the Jade Emperor said. ‘Their chi auras combine and strengthen each other, and their devotion to the Celestial is beyond reproach. When two spirits are so complementary, the wedding ceremony is unnecessary. They have been working as one for many years already.’ He nodded to us. ‘Xuan Wu and Emma Donahoe. Formalise this bond before all the Celestial and allow us to celebrate your union.’ He turned and sat on the throne. ‘Don’t bother about the tea business; this really has nothing to do with me. You two do your stuff and then we’ll all have a big party and about time.’
‘Majesty!’ Jade said from her spot behind the throne, raising the multi-paged schedule she was holding.
‘Rings!’ the Jade Emperor said.
We rose and turned.
‘Come on, Frankie,’ Simone said, and took his hand to guide him up to us.
They gave us the twenty-four-carat pure gold wedding bands, large enough for our Celestial Forms. I checked the one Frankie had given me. It was correct: it had my name etched in English and Chinese around the interior. The one Simone had given John had his name on it too; we would wear rings belonging to each other. Mine was engraved with a snake around the outside; his was engraved with a snake and turtle twining around each other.
‘You first,’ he said.
I took his hand and slid the ring onto his finger, then looked up into his eyes. His face was so full of adoration that I was speechless.
‘If either of you say “Words aren’t necessary”, I will murder you!’ Simone hissed in a stage whisper. ‘All the Heavens are watching, so say something awesome!’
I hesitated, smiling, then said, ‘I love you, and I will be proud to call you husband. You’re the kindest, most generous and noble man I have ever met.’