The sensation started with a light prickling in my neck and slowly raised the hairs on my arms. Someone was watching me. That’s one of the things you learned to notice during your training at the FEA. A gaze could be something physical, something solid if you focused hard enough to detect it.
I turned around. The blond boy with the hunched shoulders sat two rows behind, his focus squarely on me. When our eyes met he looked down and pretended to scribble on his notepad. His irises were watery blue. They had the same unsettling vibe as Kate’s eyes. I remembered his face from the yearbook: Phil Faulkner. He stared intently at his writing as if his life depended on it. I faced the front of the classroom, not sure what to make of him.
Mrs. Coleman had her back turned to the class and was writing something on the chalkboard.
I leaned over to Ana, deciding to play the amnesia card. “What’s his deal? Why is he staring at me like that?”
She threw a glance over her shoulder, then turned to me. “Who, you mean Phil?” I gave a nod. Ana rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started. He’s such a dork. The guy’s hopelessly in love with you, probably since kindergarten. After you broke up with Ryan, he came to your house and told you he was sorry and that he was there for you if you needed someone to talk to. Who does that? I can’t believe he’d ever think he’d actually have a chance with you.” She snorted.
The sound earned her a glare from Mrs. Coleman.
I glanced over my shoulder once more to get another glimpse at Phil’s eyes, but his head was bowed.
I wanted to ask why Madison had broken up with Ryan. If one person must have known, it was her best friend. But biology really wasn’t the place to do it.
The lesson dragged on ’til infinity. I fidgeted with my pens, looked around the room, shifted on the uncomfortable plastic chair. It had been too long since I last attended school. Sitting in a classroom and listening to a teacher lecture wasn’t what I was used to. I even missed the morning runs and push-ups. Hell, even taking a swim with a straitjacket would have been an improvement over this.
The moment the bell rang, I stuffed my books into my backpack and jumped out of my chair.
“Whoa, you can’t wait to get out of here, can you?” Ana asked, scurrying behind me.
I slowed. I should have waited for her and not stormed out of the classroom but the walls had started to close in on me.
“Sorry, I just needed to move. I hate sitting still for too long.” Ana eyed me carefully as if what I’d said was out of character. We walked through the crowded halls toward our next class. I felt a twinge of nervousness but quickly convinced myself that it wasn’t enough to make her suspicious.
“Is it because you were confined to bed for so long?” Ana asked. I stopped in the doorway to our next class.
“Yes, I guess that’s why. I just feel like there’s too little time to spend it sitting around doing nothing.” A heavy silence spread between us, but then Ana’s face lit up.
“Don’t let Mrs. Coleman hear that.”
“Have you noticed anything strange about Phil?” I asked, not able to get over the way he’d looked at me.
“Why?” she asked. “Do you remember something?”
I shook my head. “It’s just . . . his eyes, they creep me out.”
“They creep out everyone. Rumor has it that he’s got a cataract.”
Creepy eyes didn’t make someone a suspect. But I decided I’d keep an eye on him anyway.
• • •
Eyes and whispers followed me all the way to the cafeteria. Ana glowered at anyone who dared to look at me for longer than a second. I really liked her. She reminded me a lot of Holly.
“Can we sit somewhere quiet? I need to talk to you,” I whispered after we’d purchased our slices of pizza. Ana led us to a table at the end of the room, delightfully close to the bathroom. No wonder no one had chosen it yet. But it was perfect for my purposes, as it also gave me a fantastic view of the room.
We sank into the hard plastic chairs and I started chewing my pizza. Too much cheese with the texture of chewing gum, dotted with unidentifiable pieces of some kind of sausage. Bleh. I dropped the slice on my plate. Ana hadn’t even started hers yet. She was too busy watching me.
I wiped my greasy hands on a napkin, buying myself some more time to word my question. “Um, why did I break up with Ryan?” So much for eloquence.
Sadness flashed on Ana’s face. She smiled tightly. “You never told me.” She shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal but her voice and eyes told another story. She was hurt and disappointed to be left out. “I’ve always thought it was because he cared more about his buddies than you, but you were kind of secretive about the whole thing.” Her eyes searched my face.
I’d hoped for another answer. If Devon wouldn’t talk, that left only one other person who might know why I broke up with him—Ryan. And I wasn’t sure if talking to him about it was the best choice.
“So you really don’t remember?”
I shook my head. “I have a lot of blanks in my memory. I wish I could remember more.”
“Maybe it’s good that you don’t remember everything.” She picked the pieces of sausage from her slice and arranged them in a tiny circle on her plate.
“No, it would help if I remembered. Then maybe the killer wouldn’t still be out there.” The words came out harsher than I’d intended.
Ana’s eyes grew wide and her hands froze. “Sorry, of course. I just meant—” She trailed off, her eyes darting away.
I reached out for her hand. “I know. It makes me nervous to think of what really happened. You really don’t know anything else, like if Ryan and I had a fight or something?”
Ana’s hands balled to fists. “No. I mean, you told me you and Ryan had grown apart, but never anything about a specific incident. Though there were the other rumors.”
“Rumors?”
“About you and another guy.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know.” She kept glancing at a table across the room. The popular kids—it was easy to tell who they were because the entire lunch room seemed to center around them. Ryan and the girl with the bob haircut sat there. Another familiar face was beside them—Franny. She was throwing glances our way.
I’d never attended high school before but I knew enough about hierarchy, which was Major’s favorite topic. Madison must have been one of the popular kids to date Ryan.
“Why aren’t we friendlier with them? Weren’t we part of their group before I was attacked?”
Ana’s face darkened. “No, we left their group a while ago.” She began fumbling with the remaining sliver of her pizza slice.
“Why? What happened?”
Devon entered the lunch room with a group of boys and smiled when his eyes found me. He sat with his friends, but I could tell he was keeping an eye on me. I allowed myself a look around the rest of the cafeteria. A group of goths sat behind Devon and his friends. The table to their right was occupied by two chubby girls wearing nearly identical outfits, and at the edge of the room, all by himself, was Phil. His eyes darted up to meet mine for a millisecond before he returned his focus to his plate.
“Like I said, when you broke up with Ryan some people thought it was because you’d cheated on him. Franny apparently saw you one night—with another guy.”
“With who?”
Ana grimaced. “I don’t know. No one does, Franny couldn’t tell. She just said the guy was shorter than Ryan and definitely wasn’t him. Franny likes to hear herself talk. She’s a liar. But the group was on Ryan’s side and so we left and just did our own thing. They called you a skank and a whore. I hate them.”
“You left your friends for Ma—me?” I’d almost said Madison but managed to catch myself before the name escaped my lips.
“They weren’t real friends or they wouldn’t have talked shit about you.”
“Was Kristen one of them?” I asked, following a sudden intuition.
“Yeah, she was the wors
t, always talking shit about you. She and Franny were best friends.” Guilt flashed across her face. “I got in a big fight with Kristen a day before she died. I called her horrible things. I still feel really bad about it.”
“You couldn’t have known what would happen.” I took her hand. “So did Franny take the tragedy very hard? She doesn’t look like someone who lost a friend a few months ago.”
“She broke down crying when she found out and wasn’t in school the following week, but when she returned she acted like nothing had happened. She’s trying to keep up appearances. I don’t know how she manages. I was a wreck while you were in the hospital. I’m so glad I didn’t lose you.”
But you did. I looked down at the table top. “Did you tell the police what you just told me?”
“Yeah, but not in that much detail. They asked about you and Ryan but it wasn’t something that seemed very important to them.”
“Why not? Shouldn’t an ex-boyfriend make the top of their suspect list?”
“You would think, but I guess it’s because of the other murders.” She gnawed on her lip, her eyes becoming distant. “It really doesn’t make sense. Why would someone do this?”
My cell phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my backpack. It was a text from Ryan, asking if I’d gotten his letter and if I was going to meet him. When I looked up, both Ryan and Devon were staring at me, but after a moment Devon followed my gaze to glare at Madison’s ex. Ryan didn’t notice. He only had eyes for me, his expression hopeful. I almost felt sorry for the poor guy.
“A text from Ryan?” Ana asked. I looked up, startled. “Yeah, he really wants to talk.”
She bit her lip. “It’s up to you, but I think you should listen to your brother.” I typed a short reply, telling Ryan that I got the note, but I couldn’t make it.
The moment everyone’s attention shifted, I knew Alec had entered the lunch room. He scanned the rows of tables and our eyes met. He was wearing the Chucky shirt. It was physically painful to pretend not to know him. I wanted to wave him over but someone else was faster.
Franny rushed over to him, a saccharine smile plastered on her face, and suggestively touched his arm. Paws off, Franny, I thought. But to my surprise Alec actually followed her to the table with Madison’s former friends.
Jealousy burned in my stomach. I knew he was only trying to gather information from them, but I didn’t like it, especially the way Franny half shoved her impressive chest into his face.
Ana leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. “That’s the new guy. He just moved here with his mom. His name is Alec.”
I was glad that Major had decided to let Alec keep his name. That way at least I wouldn’t call him the wrong thing by accident. People seemed to believe his and Summers’s story. Maybe Summers had also seen to it that the police didn’t insist on interviewing me right away.
I crammed the crust of the pizza into my mouth, though I wasn’t even hungry.
“He’s watching you again,” Ana said.
I hoped she was talking about Alec. Swallowing the gooey clump, I asked, “Who?”
“Phil. Why can’t he get a grip on himself?”
But when I turned his way, he buried his face in a book.
CHAPTER 11
* * *
I decided to talk to Franny after our last class of the day, but on my way out of the school, I came across none other than Phil, who was waiting in front of the doors.
He straightened the moment he saw me and his face reddened. I stopped, unsure of what to say.
“I’m glad you’re back,” he said, shuffling his feet. He held out a large round tin with a picture of a goose painted on its lid, still staring at the ground.
I took it. “For me?”
“My grandma baked brownies for you.”
“Why?” I burst out, resisting the urge to back away. Was he the secret guy Madison had been seeing? His skin flushed an even deeper red as he glanced up, his watery gaze meeting mine. “Your mother told my grandma you’d be back in school today. You know, neighborly chitchat.”
“You live with your grandma?” I asked. Only after I’d said it did I realize that it might have been an awkward question.
He looked away. “Yeah. I have to go. It’s good to see you, Madison.” Before I could say another word, he hurried over toward the idling school bus. I bet the other kids gave him crap for taking the bus.
I spotted Franny in the parking lot and made a beeline toward her. For once she wasn’t surrounded by her enormous group of friends. I didn’t want them around, least of all Ryan or his replacement girlfriend, bob-haired Chloe. She’d given me the evil eye for most of the day. Maybe she knew that Ryan still carried a torch for Madison.
As I approached the car, Franny pushed the key into her red VW Beetle convertible.
“Hey Franny,” I called out. “Can I talk to you?”
She jerked the key out and opened the door. “Don’t call me that.”
Any sympathy that I might have seen on her face back in biology class had completely disappeared.
“I’m sorry. That’s what Ana called you earlier. I . . . I don’t remember your real name.” I tried to look as apologetic as possible. I needed her on my good side if I wanted to coax information out of her. She eyed me suspiciously over the car door. “So you really don’t remember?” I forced my lips to quiver as if I might burst into tears at any moment, then shook my head. It seemed to work.
Her expression softened a tad but it was still cool. “My name is Francesca. And I really need to get home now.”
I took a step forward. “Just a minute, please? I want to ask you about something.”
She tightened her grip on the keys. “What about?”
“I heard a rumor . . . that you saw me with someone a while back, a guy who wasn’t Ryan. Who was it?”
The parking lot hummed with the sound of engines and conversation, and the stench of exhaust lingered in my nose as more people set out to drive away. Ryan leaned against a car on the other side of the parking lot, watching us. Apparently, he still hoped we could talk despite my text message. And maybe he’d get his wish—if Devon didn’t turn up first.
Francesca drummed her fingers lightly on the steering wheel, her face closed off. “Listen, Madison. It was dark, and I didn’t see much.”
The tips of her ears turned pink. Liar. She put the key in the ignition and started the engine. I gripped the edge of her door. “Please, Francesca. I need to know.”
She looked at me, contemplating, and for a moment I was sure she’d tell me but then she shook her head. “Look. If I knew, I would tell you, but I didn’t recognize him. I wasn’t close enough, and it was late. All I know is that the guy was definitely not Ryan. That’s all I saw. I can’t help you.” She closed the door and I had no choice but to step back or the tires would have rolled over my toes as she drove off. Ryan started in my direction, a smile building on his face, but then he stopped. Steps crunched on the concrete behind me.
“What was that about?” Devon appeared at my side. Francesca’s car vanished around the corner.
“We were just talking.”
He narrowed his eyes at Ryan. Before he could ask any more questions, I trudged over to his car. We both got inside but Devon hesitated, his hand on the key in the ignition. “Don’t believe everything Francesca tells you; she likes to gossip.”
If she had told me anything, I could have followed his advice, but as it was I was just as clueless as before. Why was it so difficult to find out who the other guy was? When I’d started my preparations for the mission, I’d thought Madison’s life looked easy, but now it seemed as if there were countless trap doors just waiting for me to fall into them.
The car slipped out of the parking lot with a stutter and we pulled onto the main street.
“Do you know anything about some other guy I’d been dating?”
Devon almost steered the car into oncoming traffic. His fingers curled around the steering wheel. “Why?” r />
He clenched his jaw. He wasn’t giving anything away. “Because I need to know what really happened and I can’t remember. Was I dating someone else after Ryan?”
“No, you didn’t have another boyfriend.” The way he worded it made me think that maybe there was more to the situation. Why would nobody tell me anything? Devon probably wanted to protect his sister, but didn’t he realize that keeping secrets would only make it easier for the murderer to prevail? As I glanced over at Devon, my stomach dropped. My heart drummed in my chest as countless questions swirled in my brain. There were so many secrets to expose, and who knew how much time I had before the killer tried to finish what he started?
“You know, what if something happens to me because you won’t tell me?”
He winced. “I’m trying to protect you, Maddy. I’m really trying but you have to let me.”
We pulled into the driveway and I knew the conversation was over. Linda was already waiting in the doorway. Had she even left that spot?
That night, we all ate dinner as a family again. It seemed to be a daily ritual. After dinner, Ronald came into my room. He lingered in the doorway, his hands fumbling with a little red package.
“When you were little, only five, we gave you a necklace for Christmas and you’ve worn it ever since. Until . . .” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He never finished his sentence, but of course I knew what he was talking about. He held out the little packet and I took it with shaking hands. I opened the lid to find a golden necklace with a rose pendant. I brushed my fingertip across the delicate chain.
“Let me.” Ronald took the necklace out with trembling fingers and fastened it around my throat. The gold felt cool against my breastbone.
“Thanks.” My voice came out raspy and shaky. I’d never received such a lovely gift before.
Don’t get emotionally involved. Major’s stern face accompanied the words in my head. But as a lump formed in my throat, I realized it was too late to heed his warning.
I wrapped my arms around Ronald and he kissed the top of my head. Why couldn’t my dad have been more like him?