She sounded so damn formal it was starting to piss me off.
“This thing between you and me is over, of course, but I still need a caretaker for them. My question is can you continue to do your job?”
I searched her face for any sign this could be some kind of joke, but her eyes were clear and earnest.
“I . . . yes, I’m capable of doing my job.” My eyes were stinging, my mouth open with unsaid words.
She barely batted an eyelash. “That’s good to hear. We’ll keep all of this strictly professional. I apologize for my past inappropriate behavior, and I’d appreciate it if we didn’t bring it up again. You’ve done a great job with the kids so far, and I would like to have their lives interrupted as little as possible, and that means having you stay.” She sighed and placed her hands in her lap, raising her eyebrows in question. “Did you have something else you wanted to discuss?”
Of course I had something else to say, but her face was hard stone like a statue, and I’d have been willing to bet she’d hear just as well as one. There was no way in hell that I was going to tell her my true feelings while she had that look on her face. She wouldn’t believe me. She wouldn’t even hear me over her own hurt.
I pushed off the kitchen wall. “I guess you’ve said everything there is to say. But for what it’s worth . . . I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
She barely gave me another glance, so I walked out of the room and closed my apartment door behind me.
Chapter 26
With a Little Help From My Friends
Gwen had a date. Again.
“Slow down, sis,” I said, trying my hardest to decipher her high-pitched rambling. “What?”
“She’s going out with a guy on Friday night for dinner. You have got to get your stupid ass upstairs and tell her the truth. Tell her you love her and this was all a big, huge, idiotic misunderstanding. Do you hear me?”
I crossed my arm over my chest and grunted. “I’m not going to do that. She doesn’t want to hear it. I’m here to do my job from here on out.”
“I was there with her at Starbucks when she ran into this guy. He’s cute,” she said.
“Like I care.” I picked at a rip in my jeans.
“Trust me, you’ll see this guy and care, Andrew.”
“Probably not.”
“He’s a financial advisor.”
“So?”
“And they were friends in high school.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Okay, so what does that mean to me?”
She made an exasperated strangling noise and then banged her cell phone against the wall. “It means they have history!”
History was bad. History might be tough to compete with.
“He knew Bryan. And Anna. And he wants to meet the kids, you moron.”
“He’s not meeting my kids.”
I stopped breathing when the words registered in my brain. It was like we were a divorced couple and she was bringing her new boyfriend home.
My resolve to leave Gwen alone quickly morphed into a resolve to do again what I’d done before. I would prove to her who the better man was.
It hadn’t even been a full week, and I was already tired of the bullshit between us. I could see it in her eyes when she’d come in from work—the way she looked at me told me it was hard on her, too. The kids were starting to notice the change, and I was afraid all the progress we’d made would be for nothing.
But I couldn’t just tell her how I felt, like Cece was demanding. I had to find a way to show her that, while I’d been a dick to begin with, I wasn’t that guy anymore.
It would require stealth and precision. It would require planning. It would require assistance from the kids. I knew they’d be confused when Gwen’s date showed up, and they’d want to help, too. Just like last time.
“Cece,” I said as calmly as I could manage, “get as much information as you can about the date, okay? This guy doesn’t stand a chance against me.”
“Yes!” Cece hissed.
“And tell that asshole boyfriend of yours that this is partly his fault for not being able to keep his mouth shut, and he owes me. We’re fixing this, because I want my Gwen back.”
“What’s gonna work? Teamwork!”
“That’s right, WonderPets,” I mumbled. “Teamwork.”
At least today’s kids’ shows were motivational. I was pretty sure Thundercats just made me destructive, and I seemed to remember melting down my GI Joes.
Brady let out a high-pitched scream and stream of giggles, and I grinned as he ran through the sprinkler on the lawn while I washed the Homewrecker Hatchback. Bree and Jennifer were on the porch making some sort of girlie bracelet shit I remembered Cece making when she was little.
It was getting late, and Gwen would arrive home any minute, which was all part of my super awesome plan to get her back and make her realize she loved me. Her car came around the corner, pulled into the cul-de-sac, and slowed to a stop beside the mailbox.
“Auntie G!” Brady hopped up and down, knocking over the sprinkler and tipping it in my direction. I jumped away from the spray and laughed, chasing after him before he got to the street. The sprinkler accident was a bonus. I’d intended to be shirtless and washing the car when she pulled up, not dripping wet, too. God bless those children.
I wrapped an arm around Brady’s waist and picked him up off the ground to throw him on my back. Gwen rolled down her window, and I leaned in. She was staring at my chest and stomach.
“What are you doing?” she asked, not sounding half as irritated as she’d no doubt intended.
“Washing the car. Somebody”—I jiggled Brady and smiled when he squealed—“got ice cream on the hood.”
She nodded and gave Brady a big smile. “Did you ruin your dinner, Mister Man?”
He peered over my shoulder at her and shook his head wildly. “Nope. We have meatmaws.”
“Meatballs,” I said. “In the slow cooker.”
Gwen’s eyes flicked to mine and then away just as fast.
“Want me to wash your car, too?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Thanks, but that’s not part of your job, Andrew.”
Cold as ice.
“Okay. Well, just park here and I’ll move it when I’m done.”
She climbed out and went to greet Bree, and I watched her ass the entire way, smiling at the way she tried to tone down the sway of her hips. Unfortunately for her, she had no control over that ass of hers, so it bounced on its own, giving me quite a show under her tight black skirt.
“By the way,” I said, “there’s a neighborhood pool party tomorrow night I’d like to take the kids to. You’re welcome to join.”
Gwen took a deep breath and turned sad eyes on Brady. “I have plans tomorrow night. I asked my mom to come and watch the kids.”
Bree tilted her head. “Where are you going? We always do fun stuff on Friday nights.”
Jennifer was by her side, mimicking Bree’s body language and giving Gwen a confused look, too.
“I . . . um . . .” Gwen stuttered before bending to meet Bree’s eyes. “I’m going to dinner with an old friend.”
“A boy?” Bree asked, squinting.
Gwen glanced at me and then nodded. “Yes, Bree, a boy named Thomas who went to school with me. And your parents. Debra is coming to watch you.”
“No!” Brady squirmed against my back until I set him on the ground. “We go wif Dee, okay? Pwease?”
Bree crossed her arms over her chest and Jennifer followed, both of them staring at Gwen like they could start fires with their minds.
“Friday is fun night. We want to swim with Dee,” Bree said.
“Fine.” Gwen pressed a finger to her temple. “Swim with Andrew, okay? I’ll call my mom and tell her never mind.”
She walked into the house, and Brady jumped around while Bree scowled.
“Why is she going to dinner with a boy?”
I shrugged and headed back toward the Hyundai. “Becaus
e she’s an adult. And she’ll get a free meal.”
“Adults . . . are . . . dumb!” Bree stamped her foot.
With a nod, I picked up the hose and sprayed down the side of the Hyundai. “Trust me, kiddo. I know all too well how dumb adults can be.”
Ian and Joshua showed up a little after six to start getting ready for the execution of “Ta-Ta Thomas.” Gwen rushed into the house to change, apologizing to the kids for having to leave so soon. I was glad she felt guilty about missing out on our fun, but my happiness was short-lived when she flew down the stairs in a dress and heels, her hair shiny and bouncy and just begging to be sniffed.
Joshua bounded inside from the backyard with a mason jar in his hands. “Gwen! Look what I found.” He ran up to her with Brady in tow to present her with his prize.
“Holy shit!” she screamed and jumped back a foot.
The kids cackled as she peered into the glass.
“I named him Steve. He’s just a spider.”
“Steve is a big-ass spider,” she said. “What kind is it?”
The boys shrugged, and she stepped into the living room where Ian and I were pretending to flip through Guitar Hero songs to play until Bree was ready.
Gwen’s breath caught, and I chuckled, knowing full well she was staring at me in my fluffy white towel. I had shorts on underneath, but she didn’t need to know that. Yet.
Ian was wearing one, too, all ripped like a Bowflex spokesman. Between the two of us, she was definitely staring. It might have been because of the baby oil all over our bodies, too, but I couldn’t be a hundred percent sure.
“Ian?” Gwen said.
He slid his eyes in my direction, snickering before plastering on a straight face to answer her. “Hey, what’s up?”
“What kind of spider is this?” She pointed to the jar.
He set down the guitar and walked over to survey the arachnid. With a shrug, he took the jar from her. “I’ll go do a web search on it.”
“Auntie G!” Bree called from upstairs at the same time a knock sounded on the door.
Gwen spun around, torn between which direction to go. Bree yelled again, and Gwen ran up the stairs casting a pleading look my way.
I went to open the door, prepared to do battle, and stood face-to-face with my adversary.
He was shorter than me and had dark hair, but his smile was genuine, and I felt just a little bad about what was about to happen.
“Hi,” I said, opening the door wider. “Come on in. Gwen’s upstairs taking care of Bree. I’m Andrew.” I offered him my hand, and he shook it before stepping inside.
“I’m Thomas.” His eyes landed on Brady and widened. “Oh my God, you must be Brady.”
Brady frowned and moved to stand next to my leg.
Gwen rushed down the stairs and tripped off the last step, faltering in her heels before I caught her. She gripped my oily arms and slid to her knees with a gasp, turning bright red when her face ended up buried in my junk.
Well, Don was happy for a little face time, that was for sure.
“Why are you so slick?” she mumbled into the towel.
I wondered what context she was referring to.
After hooking my thumbs under her armpits, I lifted her to her feet. She wiped at the oil on her arms and looked around for something to clean it off with. I shifted my hip toward her and she reluctantly used my towel.
Ian jogged toward the front door, his towel flapping around his legs while he held the jar away from him. “Steve’s a brown recluse!”
Brady squealed with excitement, and Josh smiled wide.
“Poisonous!” Ian stage-whispered.
The boys screamed, and Gwen’s eyes grew wide as Ian spun toward us, tripping on the hallway rug and sending the jar flying into the air and crashing down right at Thomas’ feet.
“I got it, Ted.” I whipped off my towel and threw it on top of the spider, then scooped it up in my hands. It was a harmless garden spider, but Gwen didn’t know the difference.
Eat that, Thomas. Who’s the man? Manny. Man nanny.
Me.
“Oops,” Ian said. Then he turned and sauntered back to the kitchen to get the broom.
Bree ran down the stairs, and Thomas gawked at her like he’d seen a ghost. Ian swept up the floor, and Josh and Brady stared at Thomas staring at Bree.
“You okay, Tim?” I asked.
“It’s Thomas,” Gwen said.
Thomas nodded and smiled, but Bree gave him a dirty look. The hallway was packed tight with all of us standing in awkward silence. For a second I forgot I had a “poisonous” spider in my hands.
“Oh, dammit.” I ran to the kitchen to go find another jar to put it in. When I returned, Thomas was crouched down smiling at Brady and Bree, telling them they looked so much like Anna.
Moron. Did he not know to stay away from that topic?
Brady kicked Thomas in the shin, and it was official—I was adopting that kid one day.
“Brady!” Gwen shouted, dropping to her knees and scowling. “That was rude. What’s wrong with you?”
He took a step back and stuck his tongue out at her. Bree grabbed Brady’s hand and yanked him toward the stairs, and they ran as fast as they could up to their rooms.
“That went well.” I rolled my eyes. Then I jogged upstairs to find the kids in Brady’s room. “Are you guys okay?”
Bree nodded and smiled. “Yeah. Being bad is fun.”
Brady giggled and shook his butt at me.
“No, be serious. Are you okay?”
“We’re fine,” Bree said, and I sighed in relief.
Gwen padded up the stairs before she leaned into the room, her face a mask of worry.
“I’ll stay home tonight if you want me to,” she said to the children, but her eyes were on me. “I don’t want you guys to be upset. Thomas’ girlfriend is at the restaurant holding a table, so he needs to leave now.”
“Thomas has a girlfriend?” Bree asked.
Gwen chuckled. “Yeah, her name is Ainslie. She went to school with us, too. She wasn’t my favorite cheerleader, but Thomas says she’s changed. I guess anything’s possible, right?”
It was like a stupid game of telephone. By the time the information had gotten to me, it had been all kinds of screwed up. It wasn’t a date, it was catching up with old friends. And I was an asshole.
“The kids’ll be fine,” I said. “We’ll have fun at the pool party.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, her eyes on them.
They nodded in unison.
“Come on. Tell her goodbye,” I said, feeling like a total jerk.
Brady hung back, but Bree gave Gwen a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m sorry if what Thomas said upset you.” Gwen tucked Bree’s hair behind her ears.
Bree smiled and shook her head. “I like looking like Mommy. Why would that make me sad?”
“Good. Because you are just as beautiful as she was. Inside and out.”
I felt a rock lodging in my throat, so I took a step backward and motioned toward Brady. “Come on, li’l man. Say goodbye.”
His eyes flicked between the two of us, and then he stepped forward to give her a silent hug.
“What do you say, Brady?” I asked, the disappointment thick in my voice.
He shrugged, and Gwen’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
“Say, ‘I love you, Gwen.’ ”
He grinned and kissed her cheek. “Wuv you!”
She stood and, when her eyes met mine, our connection resurfaced.
“I, uh . . . thanks for taking them tonight,” she said.
“It’s my job, right?” I asked, knowing she could see this was above and beyond my responsibilities.
We walked down the stairs together, and Thomas had his phone to his ear. “Yeah, I’m sorry. We’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Okay. Love you, too.” He looked up. “If it’s not a good night, we can always reschedule.”
“I think it’ll be okay.”
r /> “It’s fine,” I said, nudging the kids forward. “Can you say sorry to Thomas for running away? And for kicking him?” I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.
“Sorry,” Bree said with an angelic smile.
Brady grinned. “Sowwy, Tadpowe.”
I stood and extended my hand. “Have a good time tonight, man. Sorry about the circus.”
Thomas smiled and let go of my hand to open the door for Gwen. “No problem. It was nice to meet you, Anthony.” His eyes sparkled. He was on to me.
Touché, Thomas.
Gwen smiled. “It’s Andrew, but we like to call him Dee.”
The door shut behind them, and I groaned as Ian and Joshua appeared in the foyer, stuffing their faces with ice cream.
“So did we win?” Joshua asked, his eyes lighting up.
I ran my hands over my face and chuckled. “He wasn’t even an enemy. They were going out to eat with his girlfriend.”
“So?” Ian said. “There’s always a chance of a ménage à . . .” His eyes slid toward Joshua who was staring at him. He choked on his ice cream, coughing and turning red while the kids stared.
“Uh . . . we should head to the pool.”
All six of us were playing Twister when Gwen walked in from her date.
“Oh my God, what are you doing?” she said with a laugh, watching us contort on the mat. I looked up too fast and lost my balance, causing everyone to fall onto the floor in a jumbled heap of flailing body parts.
“Can’t bweave!” Brady gasped under Ian’s massive weight.
“I broke the baby!” Ian scrambled to his feet and lifted Brady off the floor.
Brady shrieked with laughter and held on while Ian swung him through the air. Bree and Jennifer ran at Gwen to give her hugs. I rolled over and stood up.
“Sorry, we must have lost track of time.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad everybody’s still awake. I missed you guys,” she said, looking right at me.
I simply mouthed, “Ditto.”
Manny Log