I swallowed, nodding. The shop belonged to an apothecary, and was full to the brim with various medicinal herbs and plants. Thorne must have checked my supply before we left this morning.
He moved up behind me and peered over my shoulder into the cabinets. His presence was big and warm, and I closed my eyes just for a second, enjoying his closeness. ‘What’s all this?’
‘Agrimony,’ I pointed out, ‘for the liver and kidneys. Black cohosh, for spasms and convulsions. Ginger root to strengthen the lungs. This one here is prickly ash bark, used to treat paralysis of the tongue and mouth.’
‘We should use it on that idiot shopkeeper who wouldn’t shut up,’ he murmured.
I smiled over my shoulder. ‘This would make him even chattier.’
Thorne met my eyes and grinned. ‘Holy Sword, I take it back.’ His hand moved to my neck, where it rested beneath my messy hair. ‘What could we give him that would teach him a lesson?’
‘A lesson in what?’
‘In respect.’
I blinked, confused.
‘Don’t you notice how rude people are to you?’ he asked me seriously, his eyes studying my face.
I flushed. ‘I notice. I just didn’t think you did.’
Thorne’s hand tightened slightly on the back of my neck, then moved around to rest against my jaw. ‘I notice,’ he murmured. ‘I wanted to hurt him.’
I swallowed. ‘If you hurt every man or woman who is rude to me, there will be no healthy people left in the world.’
Thorne stared at me, and then he smiled and shook his head in exasperation. ‘Gods, girl,’ he sighed, leaning his forehead against mine. ‘What am I going to do with you?’
I didn’t reply, lost in the pleasure of his smile – so rare it was like a precious treasure. When Thorne pulled away, I noticed that there was a cluster of teenagers crowded in behind the apothecary, presumably his children. They were all staring at Thorne and me with wide eyes.
I self-consciously ordered the herbs I needed.
The youngest child, who could only have been about twelve, stood behind the counter and peered at me. ‘You’re very beautiful, Lady Roselyn,’ she murmured.
I stared at her, so surprised I couldn’t think how to respond. Thorne guided me out of the shop and pulled my cloak tighter around me. ‘At least that’s one person I won’t have to harm,’ he muttered wryly. I couldn’t help it – I started laughing.
Thorne watched my mirth in bemusement, then rolled his eyes and started leading me back towards the main building. Within the fortress there were several long streets dedicated to the sale of wares. These streets, along with the residential areas and the main fortress building, were all guarded by a huge stone wall, too high to ever be breached. At the far end of the enclosure was the massive training yard where tournaments and festivals were held – that was where we’d watch the summer solstice in a week’s time.
Thorne stopped at a stall and bought us both caramel pears on sticks. I licked mine greedily – I loved the taste of it more than any other food. The treats started to drip onto our hands as we walked, forcing us to eat quickly. Thorne glanced at me and grinned, then shocked me by leaning in and licking my chin.
‘Mmm.’
I giggled and pulled away, making him laugh.
‘That ash bark stuff,’ Thorne said suddenly, pulling my thoughts back. ‘I could have used some of that when I was a kid.’ His face was tense. ‘I didn’t speak a word for several years.’
My mouth opened in surprise. ‘You didn’t?’
He shook his head.
‘Was it a physical ailment?’
‘No.’
‘Then why?’
‘No idea. I just … I was a weird kid.’
‘Were you sad?’
Thorne looked at me sharply – I could see he was about to deny it, but he stopped himself short. Eventually he just said, ‘What’s there to be sad about?’
I couldn’t even count the endless possible responses to this, so I stayed silent and finished my pear. We didn’t usually talk much when we went shopping together, but my husband seemed to be in a strange mood today. In fact, he’d been strange since the night with the painting and the incident on the roof. He’d been quiet and watchful, which was normal, but over the last couple of days he had been staying especially close to me. I didn’t know if it was because he didn’t trust me, or if he thought I needed extra protection, or … I shook my head to banish the thought. I couldn’t entertain the notion that he was spending more time with me simply because he wanted to be close to me – it was too silly.
‘Your ma taught you all this stuff about medicine, right?’
I nodded.
‘And then you watched her die,’ he said softly. ‘Did you try to save her with these herbs?’
‘Of course.’
‘But none of it worked.’
‘No. She was very sick.’
‘Why do you keep so much of this stuff in our home?’
‘It’s for … it’s just in case.’
Thorne stopped in the middle of the street. ‘In case I hurt you?’
I blinked. ‘No – in case you get hurt or sick in one of your fights.’ He had so many, I was sure that one day he’d be brought home in a thousand pieces and no medicine in the world would be enough to put him back together. It was another secret fear – one of my greatest worries.
‘Do you use them on the people in the fortress?’
‘If they need them.’
‘People come to you, though, don’t they?’ he pressed, expression unreadable.
‘Yes, they come to me when they feel unwell, or have an ailment. I try my best to help them.’
‘Do you use the herbs on yourself?’
‘Sometimes.’
‘Is that why you haven’t fallen pregnant?’
I froze. ‘What?’
‘Do you take herbs to stop us conceiving a child?’
I felt the ground beneath me start to shake. A very great pain made its way through my body. ‘How could you … how could you ever think that?’
‘We’ve been married five years, Rose, but no children.’
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to cry. ‘There is nothing I could ever want more than to have your child,’ I whispered. ‘I can hardly bear the longing.’
‘All right,’ he said quickly, taking my shoulders in a grip that hurt. ‘Good then, that’s fine. Just don’t make a scene.’
People were staring, I could tell, but I felt so lost and I didn’t seem to be able to stop myself from crying. Did he see nothing, know no parts of me?
‘Rose, stop,’ Thorne snapped. He turned to the onlookers and snarled, ‘Get moving!’
People scattered in a hurry, bowing their heads to the Prince.
Thorne clicked his tongue, and gone was the man who had bought me a pear and licked its juice from my chin. ‘I’ve had enough of this. Is everything too much for you? Why must you always cry?’
Always cry? I never cried! I never allowed myself to because I knew how he hated it.
‘What is it that makes you so impossibly frightened?’
There was no answer that I could speak aloud – not without deepest shame.
‘You!’ Thorne barked. ‘Take my wife back to her rooms.’ Before I knew it, he was handing me over to a group of women and then striding away without a backwards glance. I wiped my eyes and looked at the ladies. There were three of them, all about my age, and they were staring at me in complete disgust.
‘Crying in front of the Prince,’ one of them hissed.
‘It’s pathetic.’
‘You’re an embarrassment. He should have married someone who knew how to behave instead of a half-wit he clearly can’t stand to be seen with.’
‘Come.’ One of them grabbed my arm with sharp nails and dragged me back towards the main building.
I went along with them for a few minutes, and then something strange happened. Pretending I couldn’t even hear them, one of
the girls said, ‘I knew the rumours had to be true, but I didn’t think she’d be this much of a joke.’
And I just … stopped. I stopped walking, stopped crying, and when they turned in irritation, I glared into each of their faces. ‘I am strange. I know that. I am different, and you seem to find this shameful. But I at least I am not cruel. I have never used words to hurt anyone like you are doing now. I feel ashamed of you, ashamed to call you Pirenti women and kin of mine.’
The three women looked utterly mortified, as though they’d been slapped across the face by the Prince himself. I turned and walked away from them as quickly as I could.
‘Ye’re not to leave, girl,’ he snapped. ‘What about that do ye not understand?’
‘I just want to walk by the sea,’ I whispered. Why wouldn’t they let me do that?
‘In the name o’ the Holy Sword,’ the burly soldier muttered to his companion. ‘She’s as daft as they say. Listen to me. Yer own husband has given strict orders never to let ye out o’ the fortress.’
I closed my eyes. My momentary gumption had vanished and now I just felt stupid. The soldiers on top of the wall weren’t going to let me out. Just as I was turning to leave, an odd sound hailed my ears. It was like a dull string on a lute had been plucked, followed by a wet thunk. I turned just as the soldier from the wall fell to the ground at my side with a sickening squelch. I froze; even my heartbeat stopped. There was an arrow through his throat, and dark blood bubbling from the wound.
My first thought was that I needed a compress, and my sewing kit, but then the bubbles ceased along with his breath, and I saw his eyes go glassy. I gazed upwards – there were several large flying creatures in the air immediately above the fortress, swooping low over the wall. Shouts went up from the soldiers, but even as they rallied themselves and raised their weapons I watched two more felled by arrows from the sky. It took me a moment to realise that the attackers were Kayan soldiers atop pegasi. I jerked backwards in shock, not knowing what to do. I could run – it would be wise. Fear urged me to do so, but there were wounded men on the ground by my feet – if I left them here they would certainly die.
As arrows flew overhead and men screamed, I sank to my knees in the blood-soaked earth by the side of a second fallen man. He had an arrow through his shoulder, and was very pale. Quickly snapping the quill from the end of the shaft, I met his eyes. ‘I am very sorry, my lord, but I will have to push it through, if you think you can bear it.’
He gritted his teeth. ‘If I can bear it?’ A strange grin crossed his face. ‘Aye – I can bear it. Do your worst, there’s a good girl.’
It took all my strength to jam that arrow through his flesh and muscle and out the other side. He gave a roar of pain and thrashed so much that he whacked me in the elbow, which made my eyes water. As I pressed my hands over both sides of the wound, I looked around for something with which to bind it. Before I had the chance, though, a snowy white pegasis with violet wingtips landed right beside me. It was magnificent, and much larger than any horse I had ever beheld. Everything in me screamed out to run, flee, hide – but I couldn’t take my hands from the man’s wound, lest he bleed to death.
A woman climbed from the pegasis, and she looked like a wild thing. Her blond hair was matted and thick, her skin covered in dirt and blood, and she had bright red eyes – demon eyes.
‘Come with me, child,’ she ordered calmly.
I glanced around. There were about half a dozen dead or wounded Pirenti men scattered over the hard earth. I could see three pegasi still circling through the air, and I could hear the alarm bell tolling loudly. More soldiers would be here soon – Thorne would be here soon. I didn’t think any of that was going to make a difference – this woman had a steely look in her eyes, an expression I had seen many times before in my husband’s gaze. She was going to take me no matter what.
‘Let me bind his wound first,’ I said, my voice breaking.
‘Bind his wound?’
‘Please, I cannot leave him like this. I must bind the wound, and then I will come.’
She stared at my face, this Kayan, and then she smiled with disbelief and shook her head incredulously. ‘Bind his wound,’ she muttered, striding over to another soldier and ripping heavy strips of tunic from his dead chest.
My hands trembled as I took them from her and started to wrap them tightly around the soldier’s wounds. He opened his eyes suddenly – he must have been passed out. ‘Filthy Kayan whore,’ he snarled.
The woman wore no expression, but her eyes shifted, quite simply, to white. Fear exploded in my chest and I looked away from her, focusing on my task. As soon as I was done, I felt small, strong hands take me by the waist and lift me onto the back of the enormous flying horse. And then quite suddenly, amidst death and blood and eyes that turned white, I was high in the air as I had always wished to be, and there was nothing left but sky and the deep, countable rhythm of mighty wing-beats.
Ava
The mist had lessened by midday of the following day. Gulls careened through the sky, and a mighty sea bird dived low to pluck a fish from the water as I watched. It gave me a shiver of longing for my home by the ocean, the home I would never see again. Orion was a small fishing village, close to the capital of Limontae – city of the glistening glass towers, of learning and knowledge, beauty and magic. I’d been attending the academy in Limontae up until Gidion had taken us on the mission to kill the Barbarian Queen. Now everything I’d learnt there – every beautiful fact about art, culture, business and combat – all tasted like ash in my mouth. Lost was beauty when all that remained was hate.
As we walked, I began again to plan my escape. I no longer had such a burning desire to hurt Ambrose, so it would be preferable if I could find some way to slip free without him noticing. The problem then became how I would get off this island.
It grew very hot under the sun. I needed to wash the sweat from my body, but didn’t know how – the cloth I’d wrapped around my chest to flatten my breasts was getting filthy but I couldn’t wash it properly unless I took it off, and then I’d have nothing to hide my engagement ring in. Wracking my brain for some sort of excuse, I wasn’t watching where I was walking and tripped on a stray bit of driftwood. Ambrose reached out and grabbed my arm to stop me from landing flat on my face, rolling his eyes as he did so. I wished that just once I could save him from something embarrassing.
‘I want to swim,’ I told him.
He gazed into the sky, shielding his eyes against the sun. ‘It’s going to rain soon.’
‘The sky is blue!’
He shrugged. ‘The birds tell you. They’re all flying inland away from an approaching storm. I’ll wager by this evening it will be pouring again.’
‘So what then – you’re too frightened to swim?’
He shot me a look. ‘I’m not quite as dumb as I seem, Avery. You can’t bait me into doing what you want.’
I shrugged. ‘So are you too frightened to swim or not?’
He met my eyes and I realised something very strange: Ambrose could read me – perfectly.
‘A swim sounds great,’ he smiled. ‘The salt water will be good for our wounds.’ He shed his clothes. I meant to follow, but instead found myself watching him as he waded into the sea, yelling about the cold and shivering as each wave slapped into his body. Strange marks ran down the length of his spine – I had noticed them the night before, when I’d cleaned his claw wounds. They were almost like tattoos, but red instead of black, which made me think they must be scars.
‘Come on, Ave – this was your bloody idea!’ he shouted. ‘I’m not going in if you don’t!’
A wave crashed into his back and he howled in shock, then turned and flung himself under. He emerged, screaming curses and jumping around like a mad person, trying to warm up.
In that moment, he was young and wild and alive. He was laughing and howling, immersed equally in pleasure and pain.
And watching him, I smiled. I smiled. A girl who had been
stripped of the ability. An impossible smile. A real smile, the first in years.
Ambrose
The water was icy cold – knives-all-over-my-body cold. I surfaced amidst the shock, my heart and soul wide open to the vastness of the sea I’d just entered, and turned to see Avery smile at me.
He smiled. And as I looked at the naked beauty of the expression, I fell in love with him.
It was that simple, that complicated.
Chapter 8
Ava
I started running. Faster than I’d ever run. My feet ignored the unsteady ground and pumped me forward. The wind threatened to loosen my cap but I kept going, uncaring. There was a kind of terror inside me, a growing, moving thing that threatened to overwhelm me if I stopped. He caught up to me, as he always did, and he grabbed hold of me, causing us both to lose balance as we ran. I slammed into the hard ground beneath me, and for a moment I was senseless, thoughtless, emotionless. It was bliss.
Then his body was on top of mine, shaking me by the shoulders, looking deep into my eyes – eyes that had turned to pale, pale blue. The same blue as his blue, that beautiful, disturbing shade.
Holy Gods. My eyes had found his colour.
‘What are you doing?’ he breathed. He was soaking wet, and drenching me with his closeness.
‘Please,’ I whispered, unshed tears blurring my vision. ‘Let me go.’
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked urgently, his voice breaking.
He was so heavy atop me, just as heavy as I’d imagined, his big arms gripping me in the iron grip that had both saved my life and threatened it
‘I shouldn’t be able to smile,’ I told him, the words seeping out of me as if escaping through a crack. ‘It’s part of the curse. It’s impossible.’
He began to understand – I saw it in his face. Slowly he stood and drew me to my feet. There was a whole world of emotion chasing its way through his eyes, and it came to me how foolish I’d been. I’d thought him a brute – a shallow, stupid brute without access to anything deeper.
But he’d sung to me, hadn’t he? He’d sung for hours and hours and hours. I should have known.