As she clapped, Kimmy stared up at the colorful blur of kids filling the bleachers, spilling out onto the gym floor, standing along the walls. The entire school was at the pep rally.
The hand clapping gave way to foot stomping. The bleachers quaked and trembled. The rhythm picked up. Faster. Louder.
What a thrill! Kimmy thought, an excited grin spread across her face. What a thrill to perform for the entire school! What a sound! Like an earthquake or the stampede of a thousand elephants!
She knew she looked great in her new uniform. They all did. The maroon and white was so sharp, the skirt so crisp, and the sweater so bright. Their old uniforms had been ruined that night in the rain.
But here it was, two weeks later, and everything was fresh and new again. And everyone was cheering. Cheering their lungs out.
Well . . . almost everyone.
“Give me a T!”
“T!”
“Give me an I!”
“I!”
“Give me a G!”
“G!”
What a sound! Kimmy thought, her grin growing even wider as her shiny black hair bounced around her face every time she jumped.
They finished the cheer in a wavelike ripple, the girls going down in splits one after the other. Kimmy glanced down the row of cheerleaders, all so happy, so fresh and excited, as if that terrible night had never happened.
There was Ronnie down at the end, radiant, shouting her heart out. Her curly red hair, caught in the bright lights, seemed to glow on its own. How happy she’d been to be back on the squad.
And Debra, normally so cool, so withdrawn, was cheering at the top of her lungs.
Only cheerleaders, Kimmy thought, know what this is like. A lot of people put us down. They think we’re wasting our time. Or we’re out-of-date or something. But that’s because they don’t know this special excitement, the special thrill of getting a huge crowd to forget itself and go wild.
The cheer ended to raucous shouts and applause.
Kimmy peered down the line of girls to see Corky and Bobbi do their special double cartwheel.
Ugh, she thought bitterly. What showoffs. They really make me sick. With their blond hair and sweet, innocent faces. Always prancing around together, trying to make the rest of us look second rate. I could throw up. I really could.
The echoing drums of the marching band brought Kimmy out of her dark thoughts.
No, she decided. I’m not going to allow those two to ruin this day. I’m not going to give them another thought.
Everyone stood and clapped along as the band played the Shadyside High marching song.
I want only good memories of this pep rally, Kimmy thought, clapping as hard as she could. After all, the rally is in honor of us, in honor of how brave we were, in honor of how we survived that terrible night.
The band ended its number to wild applause. Corky and Bobbi did their cartwheel again, and Kimmy forced herself not to react.
The girls all turned to her to begin the next cheer routine.
“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go. . . .”
Kimmy’s eye caught Miss Green leaning against the wall of her office and clapping along with them, a big smile on her usually dour face.
In a few minutes Miss Green will name me as the new captain, Kimmy thought. The thought sent a shiver of excitement down her back.
It’s something I’ve wanted for so long. I’ve worked so hard for it, so hard.
I’m not knockout beautiful like the other girls. I’m not tall and well built. I don’t have straight blond hair like the Corcorans or look like a movie star like . . . Jennifer.
But I’m going to be captain. I’m finally going to be captain.
She wished her parents could have been there to see it, to see the pep rally, to see their daughter, to see how exciting it all was. She had begged them to come. But, as usual, they claimed they couldn’t get away from their jobs.
Just an excuse, Kimmy thought bitterly.
Then forced those thoughts out of her mind. Nothing was going to spoil her day. Nothing.
Whoa!
The routine ended. The band started up immediately. Kimmy turned toward the far side of the gym, and the other girls followed her lead.
As the band finished its number, a deafening cheer went up as Jennifer wheeled herself out onto the floor. She was wearing a new uniform too, Kimmy saw. In her hand was a maroon and white pennant with her name embroidered on it, the pennant they had given her in the hospital.
She waved it from her seat as she vigorously wheeled herself across the gym. The applause grew and grew until Kimmy felt like covering her ears.
Jennifer has been so brave during all this, Kimmy thought, staring at her in her wheelchair now lined up with the other cheerleaders.
So brave and cheerful, even though she might never walk again.
Even though her life was ruined.
Kimmy wondered if she would have been so brave, so smiling, so . . . accepting.
Of course, Jennifer had nearly died that night, Kimmy remembered. Everyone had thought she was dead. So in a way she was lucky, lucky just to be alive.
But how could anyone consider being crippled, perhaps for life, lucky?
Kimmy realized that the gym had grown silent. Jennifer had wheeled herself to a microphone and begun a short speech.
“I’m not good at making speeches,” she was saying, her voice so weak and unsteady. “I’d much rather be cheering than talking!”
Nervous laughter rolled down from the bleachers. One of the drummers in the band hit a rim shot.
“I just want to say thank you to everyone at Shadyside High,” Jennifer continued, her voice breaking with sudden emotion. “You’ve all been so good to me . . . all my friends . . . everyone . . . with all the cards and presents and stuff. . . .” She waved the pennant. “And I just want to tell you all that . . . I feel great! Go, Tigers!”
She pushed back from the microphone, waving her pennant, as the entire school erupted in applause. The band played the marching song again. Maroon and white streamers came flying down from the bleachers.
Kimmy wiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. She could feel herself begin to lose control, feel the loud, choking sobs try to force their way up.
But she cut them off.
This wasn’t a sad day. It was a happy day.
Everyone was smiling and cheering.
This was a celebration. A celebration that they were all alive.
So why did Jennifer’s smile make Kimmy feel like bawling?
She turned away from Jennifer. It was the only way to keep the sobs down, to keep herself in control.
I’m just excited, she thought. Overexcited, I guess.
She took a deep breath and held it.
Miss Green was approaching them, taking long strides across the gleaming wood gym floor, an intent expression on her face. She wore a maroon and white Shadyside sweatshirt over gray sweat pants. As she neared the microphone, her face flushed, she clasped her hands together behind her back.
Miss Green hated public speaking. She seldom spoke at assemblies or pep rallies, and when she did, she always rocked back and forth on her feet and her voice quavered, and everyone could tell she was really nervous.
She smiled at Jennifer, stopped, and made a short bow to her. Then, her face nearly scarlet, she stepped close to the microphone.
“I have an announcement to make!” she shouted, her voice echoing off the four walls. It took a while for the crowd to quiet down. She stood silently, waiting until they did. Kimmy could see a muscle twitch in her jaw from nervousness.
Poor woman, she thought sympathetically.
Kimmy felt the excitement begin to tighten her own muscles. She realized she was smiling with trembling lips. She hoped no one could see them shaking.
“This is a day of celebration,” Miss Green began.
“We are celebrating the great spirit of these Shadyside cheerleaders. And we are
celebrating the spirit shown in particular by Jennifer Daly.”
The gym grew absolutely silent. So silent, Kimmy could hear a car horn honking outside in the parking lot.
“We are all celebrating today because Jennifer is back with us,” Miss Green continued, rocking on the heels of her white high-tops. “Her courage, her strength, her indomitable spirit, are an example for us all.”
Applause.
“Now it’s time for me to announce a new captain,” Miss Green said, glancing at Jennifer, who flashed her an encouraging smile.
Kimmy took a deep breath. Her heart was thudding so hard, she thought she might pass out.
She gave Jennifer a big smile, but Jennifer had turned to stare up into the bleachers.
“I have spent many hours thinking about this selection,” Miss Green continued. “And I know that the young lady I have chosen will lead the Tiger cheerleaders with the same courage and spirit that Jennifer Daly has shown.”
Yes! Yes! Thank you! Kimmy thought, about to burst.
She took another deep breath and let it out slowly.
Miss Green cleared her throat and then, speaking loudly and enthusiastically, announced the name of the new cheerleader captain.
“No!” Kimmy shrieked out loud. “Please—no!”
Chapter 8
Kimmy Quits
Kimmy’s cries of protest were drowned out by the applause that rang down from the bleachers. Several of the other cheerleaders, including Ronnie and Debra, had turned to Kimmy to watch her mouth drop open and her expression turn to shock and dismay.
Bobbi Corcoran?
How could Bobbi Corcoran be named cheerleader captain?
Unfair, Kimmy thought, feeling her surprise turn to rage. Impossible!
After all, Kimmy had been named assistant captain last spring. She had been on the squad for two years. She had worked so hard. So hard.
So how could she be passed over for a flashy newcomer?
Bobbi had been on the squad for only a few weeks. She didn’t know the school. She didn’t know any of the routines.
So how could Miss Green and Jennifer have chosen her?
Kimmy stood with her shoulders slumped forward, allowing her unhappiness, her anger, to show on her face. She was miserable and upset, and she didn’t care who knew it.
As the applause died down and Miss Green continued talking, Kimmy glanced down the line of cheerleaders. There was Corky hugging her sister joyfully. Heather and Megan had rushed over to congratulate Bobbi. And Bobbi had the widest smile on her face, her eyes brimming with happy tears.
Yuck, Kimmy thought bitterly.
I know why she was named captain. Because she’s so pretty, and I’m not. She’s so blond and skinny and disgustingly all-American.
Okay. So I’m not skinny, and I don’t have long blond hair and look like a Seventeen model. But how could Jennifer and Miss Green do this to me? I’m a better cheerleader than Bobbi Corcoran ever will be!
I deserve to be captain. Everyone knows I deserve to be captain.
Kimmy realized then that her entire body was trembling. Staring up into the bleachers, she felt her anger turn to embarrassment.
Everyone is staring at me, she decided. Everyone in the entire school. They’re all staring at me. They know I deserve to be captain. They know I’ve been cheated.
She turned and saw Debra and Ronnie studying her, their faces locked in sympathy, their eyes on Kimmy’s face, trying to determine how Kimmy was taking the awful news.
Everyone is watching me, Kimmy thought, forcing back the loud sobs that pushed at her throat. Everyone is feeling sorry for me.
I’ve never been so embarrassed.
This is the worst day of my life.
I’ll never forgive Bobbi. Never.
And I’ll never forgive Miss Green either.
I just want to disappear. I just want to die.
And as bitter thoughts continued to spin through Kimmy’s mind, Miss Green finished her remarks and stepped back from the microphone with a relieved sigh. There was a scattering of applause.
Kimmy saw Jennifer smiling, always smiling that brave smile of hers, wheeling herself to the side of the gym.
And then Bobbi—Bobbi!—led the girls into a circle to begin their final routine.
No! Kimmy decided.
No way.
I can’t do this. I’m too embarrassed. Too humiliated. I won’t do it. I won’t!
I quit, she decided.
I quit the cheerleaders.
She had joined the circle, followed the others automatically like some kind of a sheep. But now, as they raised their arms high in the air to begin their routine, Kimmy uttered a cry of disgust—and took off, running across the polished wood floor. Running, running as fast as she could, her eyes narrowed, nearly shut, her heart pounding in rhythm with each thud of her sneakers.
Were those gasps of surprise from the bleachers? Were those startled questions? A worried buzz of voices?
Kimmy didn’t care. She was escaping. Escaping and never coming back.
As she reached the double doors to the corridor, running so hard she nearly collided with them, she turned and glanced back. The cheer had begun without her; Corky Corcoran had moved around to close up the circle.
I’ll pay her back too, Kimmy decided.
Jennifer. Bobbi. Corky. All of them.
She was through the doors and running down the empty corridor when the first anguished sob finally burst from her throat.
Chapter 9
Bobbi and Chip
“Congratulations!”
Bobbi pulled open her locker door and turned to greet a girl she didn’t know. “Thanks,” she said, smiling.
“I’m Cari Taylor,” the girl said, shifting the books she was carrying. She was a pretty, fragile-looking girl with blond hair, even lighter and finer than Bobbi’s, and a warm, friendly smile. “I have science lab sixth period too. I’ve seen you there.”
“Yeah. Right,” Bobbi replied. “I’ve seen you too.”
“I just wanted to say hi and congratulations,” Cari said with a shrug. Then she added, “That accident must have been scary.”
“Yeah,” Bobbi said. “It was.”
“Well, see you tomorrow.”
“Right. See you.”
The long corridor was emptying out as kids headed for home or after-school jobs. Bobbi could still hear the ringing applause in her ears, the cheers, the shouts, the pounding of the drums echoing off the walls.
Wow! I just feel so great! Bobbi thought, pulling some books and a binder from the top shelf of her locker. I feel as if I could fly home!
A few other kids, kids she’d seen around school but didn’t really know, called out congratulations as they passed by. Maybe Shadyside High is an okay place, Bobbi thought happily.
During her first weeks in school, she had wondered if she’d ever get to like it. The kids all seemed so snobby. They all seemed to have known each other their whole lives. Bobbi wondered if she’d ever fit in or find friends of her own.
But that day had erased all of her worries. It was going to be a great school year, Bobbi decided. Great. Great. Great. Everything was great.
Still in her cheerleader uniform, she looked up and down the hall. Seeing that it was empty, she performed a high leap, landed, and did a cartwheel that nearly carried her into the wall.
Having gotten that out of her system, she collected her books, stuffed them into her backpack, and humming to herself, headed out the back door to the student parking lot.
Even the weather is great today, she thought, stopping to take a deep breath. The afternoon sky was still high and cloudless. The air felt warm and dry, more like summer than a day in autumn.
Near the fence, two girls sat on the hood of a car, talking to a boy in a maroon and white letter jacket. Beside them, another car revved up noisily. Two boys were puzzling over a bike with a flat rear tire, scratching their heads and scowling.
Beyond the student par
king lot, Shadyside Park stretched out, still green and vibrant. A broad, grassy field with an empty baseball diamond set in one corner led to thick woods.
I wish Mom and Dad were home, Bobbi thought. I can’t wait to tell them the news.
I’m still in a state of shock, she told herself. It was such a surprise. I never dreamed that Miss Green would name me captain!
The other girls must have been shocked too, Bobbi realized. Especially Kimmy.
Kimmy.
She hadn’t stopped to think about Kimmy. But now the thought descended on her like a heavy cloud, bringing her back to earth.
Had Kimmy come over to congratulate her? Bobbi struggled to remember. She had been surrounded by everyone all at once. But no. She didn’t remember Kimmy being one of them.
I’d better call her or something, she thought.
Just then a hand touched her shoulder, startling her out of her thoughts.
“Hi.”
She stared into a boy’s face. He was handsome, with friendly dark brown eyes that crinkled at the corners, a shy smile, and lots of unbrushed brown hair that seemed to be tossed around on his head.
“Hi.” She returned the greeting.
It was Chip Chasner, quarterback of the Tigers. She had seen him a lot during outdoor practices. He was friendly with the other cheerleaders, but he had never said a word to Bobbi.
He fell into step with her as she crossed the parking lot. He was broad shouldered and tall, especially in his shoulder pads and cleats.
“I just wanted to say, way to go,” he said shyly, his dark eyes smiling at her.
“Thanks,” she said, suddenly shy too. “I was really surprised. I mean, I didn’t think they’d pick me. Since I’m new and all.”
“We haven’t really met. I’m Charles Chasner,” he said. “But everyone calls me Chip.”
“I know,” Bobbi replied, feeling her face grow hot. “I think you’re a really good player.”
“Thanks.” He beamed at her. Her compliment seemed to make him forget his shyness. “I’ve watched you too.”