As the Greyhound bus pulled away from the terminal, I started typing away on the items Elizabeth had requested. By the time I’d nailed down my cover letter, the city skyline was long gone and we were well on our way to Texas.
Heehaw.
Chapter Forty-Four
Julian
Dean and I had a lunch meeting scheduled for the day Jo left for Texas. I wanted to call and cancel on him, but then I realized it would be a welcome distraction. He and I could talk about business, and I could pretend that I wasn’t having Jo withdrawals less than twelve hours after she’d left.
The presentation he showed me took all of five minutes. He was opening up a new restaurant serving high-end blah, blah, blah. Good food was good food and everything Dean touched seem to turn to gold. He showed me the numbers from his previous restaurants (which were ridiculous for the food industry) and I cut him a check. I’d been to enough of Dean’s restaurants to trust his judgment. The man was a restaurant wizard, and I was happy to invest in his next venture.
I held up my half-empty glass of bourbon.
“Here’s to becoming rich old bastards.”
He laughed and clinked his glass to mine. “Cheers. I look forward to doing business with you.”
I reclined in my chair and glanced at the TV above the restaurant’s bar. The NBA playoffs were in full swing, but I’d missed most of the games thus far thanks to Jo’s uncanny ability to distract me. Honestly, when she took her shirt off, it was game over, literally.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” Dean asked with a smile.
I glanced away from the TV. “My what?”
He shook his head. “Josephine.”
I didn’t want him to bring her up. I’d barely lasted twelve hours without her. How many more did I have left? Over a hundred. Fuck.
“She’s in Texas.”
He straightened his tie, unbuttoned his suit jacket, and then relaxed back to mirror my pose. He’d been such a surfer kid in college, so it still felt strange to see him wearing suits every day. His blond hair was cropped short now, but back in the day it’d hung long over his forehead. The girls in college had flocked to him like he was their lifeblood. Annoying bastard.
“I take it from your shitty ass attitude that things aren’t going well with Ms. Keller?” he asked with a knowing smirk.
There they were again: memories of Jo and I having sex in my hotel. I thought of the sex Jo and I’d had after she’d finished packing. I know. I’m a bastard. I’d promised her I was going to keep my hands to myself, but then she sucked a noodle through her come-fuck-me lips and I was a goner. She’d straddled me on the floor and I’d nearly choked on my egg roll. And that’s not a euphemism.
I could feel the shit-eating grin spread across my face. “Things are going very well.”
“So then you’re dating?”
Dating?
My smile faltered.
It was like he’d just asked me if I believed in an afterlife. Dating? Jo and I hadn’t talked about that. Why hadn’t we talked about that? We were definitely dating. Right? Do adults even make it official like that anymore?
Like a slow, slithering snake, doubt started to sink in. She had been really quiet the night before and seemed to have a lot on her mind. She’d hardly given me any notice about Texas, and she’d never given me a definite day for when she was getting back…
“I think?” I answered.
He tilted his head and arched a brow. “You think? That’s not really an option. It’s yes or no. Especially for women.”
“Oh really? When’s the last time you actually dated a woman? What makes you the authority on the subject?” Yup. He was right about my shitty attitude. I was all but yelling at him.
He smiled and took a sip of his drink. “I leave the dating to poor schmucks such as yourself.” He pointed across the table at me. “Even still, I know that until you both discuss it, whatever you’re doing isn’t a real thing. She probably thinks you’re going around town playing the field.”
I shook my head and laughed. “No way.”
I glanced back to the TV and took another sip of my drink, pretending to watch the sportscasters replay clips from the night before. The screen went hazy as I realized I had absolutely no clue what Jo was thinking.
Did she think this was just a fling? Did she honestly think I was sleeping around?
When the hell would I have time for that? I was with her all day, every day.
“Bet you didn’t know you were coming to lunch for a business meeting and a therapy session,” Dean said, trying to lighten the mood.
I grunted. He’d just dropped a bomb on me and I had no clue how to clean up the mess.
I needed to talk to Jo.
Chapter Forty-Five
Josephine
My computer had 2% battery life left when I finally attached every document to the email for Elizabeth. I tapped on my keyboard impatiently, watching the loading bars creep along as the files uploaded. C’mon Greyhound wifi, don’t fail me now. My battery hit 1% and I all but screamed with frenzy. It’d already been a week since Elizabeth first emailed me. She’d most likely given the job to someone else. I couldn’t go another day without replying to her and I probably wouldn’t be able to charge my computer again until I got to Texas the next day.
My gaze shifted back and forth between the battery percentage and the loading bar as I prayed for the battery’s juice to last just a little longer. Right as the final document finished loading, I hit send on the email and watched my computer’s screen turn black.
Dead. Right in the middle of sending the email.
“Fuck!” I yelled, pounding on the power button over and over again, demanding that the computer magically come back to life.
“Gladly sugar!” someone called from the back of the bus.
I turned to Gladys and shook her awake. How the woman was still alive after all that snoring was beyond me. She blinked her eyes open and glanced over.
“Do you have a cell phone I could borrow to check my email?” I asked with a kind smile. My shitty phone didn’t connect to the internet because I couldn’t justify spending that much on a phone when I could hardly pay my rent. Of course in that moment, I wished I’d sprung for the damn iPhone.
She shook her head. “Never been one for those cancer boxes. You can’t be too careful with your health,” she said as she dug into a bag full of Cheetos.
I stared at her for another moment and then had the overwhelming urge to scream. I’d been stuck on a bus for twelve hours and I still had another twenty-four to get through. My neck ached, my butt was numb, and my stomach was growling like a hungry lion since I’d skipped going off the bus for dinner so I could finish up the email to Vogue.
“Okay, thanks anyway,” I said, turning back to my computer and closing it. Whatever happened, happened. There was nothing more I could do about it while I was stuck on that bus. I turned to the wide window and pressed the side of my head against it. The sun had set a little while ago, but dusk still illuminated the drab landscape. I watched cities pass by me as I tried to find the silver lining in my day. I’d be home soon, and home meant getting to see Lily.
I knew I’d feel better if only I could contact Julian. I pulled my phone out of the front pocket of my purse, turned it on, and stared at the lack of bars in the top left corner of the screen. Nothing. Nada. Wherever the hell we were, there was no cell signal. No cell signal meant I couldn’t talk to Julian.
Instead of texting him, I imagined what he was probably doing back in New York. It was Sunday, which meant he’d probably gone on a run in the morning, maybe stopped somewhere for breakfast afterward. I imagined the attention he probably received from women on a daily basis. A cute guy like him eating alone in a coffee shop? Just hand him an adorable puppy and call it a day. The man was a catch. I could only imagine a woman sitting down to chat with him, admiring his dimples the same way I did every morning. They’d think they’d scored big time; not many men were more attr
active than Julian. But then he’d open his mouth and he’d make them laugh and they’d find themselves as mesmerized by him as I’d been for the last few months.
I closed my eyes.
Good going, Jo. You were supposed to find a silver lining. Instead, you imagined Julian on a date with another woman.
I crossed my arms, kept my eyes shut, and tried to distract myself with ideas for my blog.
It didn’t work.
With an hour left on the first leg of my bus trip, Gladys pulled out her tuna sandwich and I truly contemplated what it would be like to hurl myself out the window of a moving bus.
Yup, there’s my silver lining.
Chapter Forty-Six
Julian
“You’ve reached Josephine Keller. Sorry I can’t come to the phone. Leave a message after the beep.”
I hung up and threw my phone on the couch. I’m going crazy. I’d never been crazy over a woman, and there I was, at the ripe age of thirty-one, finally having my ass handed to me by one Josephine Ann Keller.
I knew I was going crazy because that’s the only excuse I had for calling Josephine ten times in the last three hours. I’d already left two voicemails. The first one was calm and normal. The second one? I was pretty sure I’d sounded a little off my rocker.
I left lunch with Dean feeling like the floor had been ripped out from under me. I thought Jo and I were on the same page. I knew she was crazy about me, but now I suddenly needed to hear her say it and I wanted to say it back. I needed to tell her that I loved her, that I wanted a real relationship.
As luck would have it, Dean would knock sense into me during the one day Josephine was off in the middle of Texas and therefore incommunicado. Do they have cell service in Texas?
My phone vibrated on the couch and I lunged for it. Lorena’s name flashed across the screen and I resisted the urge to groan.
“Hey Lorena.”
“Top o’ the morning to you too, sunshine. How about a little excitement when your little sister calls you?”
I forced a smile even though she couldn’t see it.
“I am excited you’re calling me. What’s up?”
“I have something important to ask you.”
I sank down into the couch. “What?”
“What would you say if I asked you to stay on at my company and take over as the official COO?”
“But—”
“Just hear me out first. You already own nearly half of the company, and you’re much better at the business side of things than I am. I should have asked for your help years ago, but I was too proud.”
“Are you sure?”
She laughed. “Believe me, it won’t be easy to work with your baby sister every day, but I promise to give you lots of space.”
I tilted my head back and stared up at the ceiling. A few months back, when I’d received word that Lorena needed me to step in and help with her company, I’d been less than keen on entering the fashion world. It still wasn’t my thing, but I’d enjoyed my time in New York more than I’d thought I would. I liked helping her find a new office space and interviewing architecture firms. I liked helping her rebuild her company from the ground up. Obviously, most of all, I’d enjoyed working alongside Josephine.
Which made me consider the idea that if Lorena still needed me, would she still need Josephine too?
“What about Jo?”
She hummed, mulling over my question. “I love Jo and I think she’s really been an asset over the last few months.”
“So you’ll keep her on?” I prodded.
“Yeah, if she wants to keep working for me. She’s really blown up since that runway show last week. Even if I just pay her to wear my designs, it’d be really good for the brand.”
“What other positions are you having people apply for?” I asked.
“Ideally, I’d like to find two good interns and an assistant designer. Obviously I need to really vet every applicant, but if I expect to create a new line by next season I need way more manpower.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“We can start to tackle that on Monday though. I just wanted to call you and get your opinion on staying on while I was brave enough to do it.”
I laughed.
“Do you think you’ll miss living in Boston?” she asked.
I narrowed my eyes as I thought over her question. “It was pretty nice to have some distance from Mom.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I bet. Did you get her invitation for dinner tomorrow night?”
My mother had sent us both formal invitations for a family dinner. The card was like an inch thick and embossed with our family crest. It was all too pretentious for me, but it made my mother happy to cut down trees for dinner parties, so whatever.
“Yeah, and I have to go or I’ll look like an asshole.”
“You’re the prodigal son finally back in New York City! She’s probably going to parade a line of fertile females for you to select from.”
I cringed. “You make it sound like she’s running a brothel.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. That’s pretty gross.”
“You know what though, I was surprised she came down to visit you in rehab.”
It’d taken guts for my mother to face the music. She’d always lived in eternal la la land where the only thing that could go wrong was that she’d arrive five minutes after a sale ended at Bergdorf’s.
“Yeah. I know. She’s called and checked in on me every day since then too. I really do think she’s coming around. We need to go to dinner tomorrow.”
I groaned. “Fine. I’ll start ironing my three-piece suit now.”
“That’s the spirit!”
…
By the following morning, Josephine still hadn’t called me back. Ten calls, two voicemails, and still no call back. She was either avoiding me or kidnapped in the middle of Texas. I clutched my phone and resisted the urge to call her for the eleventh time. Instead, I changed into workout gear and hit the long trail around Central Park. Exercise always cleared my head and I figured that by the time I was finished, Jo would have finally called. I left my phone on the couch in the hotel and hit the trail.
As I ran, I thought of what I’d do if I moved to New York full time. Helping Dean with his new restaurant wouldn’t take up all of my time, hardly any in fact considering he had a team set up around him to do most of the legwork. He just needed me as an investor, which meant I’d have plenty of time on my hands.
I definitely wanted to stay on with Lorena. I liked working with family and I had good ideas on how to make her business profitable. I could find a new place to live near her new shop and start to really lay down roots in the city.
When I finally made it back to my hotel room, my lungs were burning and my legs were threatening to quit. I ripped my shirt off and walked straight for my phone. There was no call from Jo, but I had a voicemail waiting for me from an unknown number.
I hit play on the voicemail, kicked off my shoes, and headed toward the shower.
“Hi Mr. Lefray. This is Elizabeth Hope from the social media team here at Vogue. I just have a few questions pertaining to your work experience with Josephine Keller as we’re considering her for a position in our Vogue offices. Would you mind giving me a call back at your earliest convenience? Thank you.”
What the fuck?
I replayed the message twice, trying to determine if I’d heard it right.
Jo had applied for a position at Vogue?
She wanted to leave Lorena Lefray Designs?
I stared down at my phone and scrolled to Josephine’s name on my contact list. I knew if I called her she wouldn’t answer; I’d already tried to get in contact with her every way that I knew how. Doubt settled in my stomach like a heavy rock. Fuck. Dean was right. I should have told Jo what I wanted from the beginning. I shouldn’t have assumed she could read my mind. If we were together, really together, I wouldn’t have to worry that she was getting cold feet and pulling awa
y, applying for jobs elsewhere and heading down to Texas to put some distance between us.
I needed to call Elizabeth back, but I gave myself some time to process her message first. I jumped in the shower and ran the water until it was hot as sin, dipping my head beneath it and closing my eyes. I could count the number of times in my life when I’d felt out of control on one hand:
1. When Jimmy Sanders knocked my hotdog to the ground in elementary school and I was too chickenshit to stand up for myself.
2. Right before I jumped out of the plane the first time I went skydiving.
3. When I’d had a one-night stand with a woman who showed up at my place the next day with a suitcase in tow. She’d assumed she was moving in. After one night together.
4. Right fucking now.
I was supposed to get out of the shower, don my suit, go to my mom’s dinner, and sit across from her at the table while she rambled on about something I couldn’t care less about. Meanwhile, the first woman I’d truly come to love was in Texas, completely out of cell phone range and completely unaware of my feelings for her.
I turned off the water, wrapped a towel around my waist, wiped the fog off the mirror, and stared good and hard at my reflection. My eyes stared back at me, challenging me. This is it. She doesn’t know how serious you are about the relationship, and she doesn’t know how valued she is at the company. You either grow a pair and go get her or you regret it for the rest of your life.
By the time I stepped out of the bathroom, I was ready to call Elizabeth back. That is, right after I called my sister. I dialed her number and then pulled my suitcase out of the hotel closet.
“Hey, I can’t talk right now,” she answered with a frenzied voice. “I’m scrambling to get ready for dinner. I just got back to my apartment.”