I look away.
“Have it your way. I’ll take the baby.” He walks out, slamming the door.
Fuck. What the hell am I doing?
~*~*~*~
JULIETTA
He’s drunk.
I know it the second I’m shoved into his office by Vincent.
The door closes behind us and I glance at him leaning against his desk, his shirt unbuttoned, hair a mess. He looks like a fallen angel. A broken one.
“What do you want, Rafael?” I say, crossing my arms.
He takes a step towards me. The ice in his glass makes a rattling sound as he shoots the rest of his whiskey back. He tosses the glass, and it shatters on the ground with the rest of the debris from his last bout of rage. This isn’t good.
I rub my arms and take a hesitant step backwards. He keeps moving forward until I have nowhere to go. My back is pressed against the door and he’s right there, in my space, staring down at me.
“What did I tell you about lying to me?” he says, his voice soft, almost too soft to hear.
I swallow and meet his eyes. “Raf—”
“It’s the one thing I can’t handle. You could have done anything else, Julietta, but you had to lie.”
The pain in his voice breaks my heart. I wish I could explain it all, tell him it’s okay, that I love him, but I can’t do that. Riccardo is probably losing his mind right now, and the second I tell Rafael about him, he’s going to be on the war path. So I have to keep it all inside, and that’s the last thing I want to do.
“Fucking loved you,” he murmurs, running his finger over my shoulder. “So hard.”
God.
Dammit.
Do not cry.
His fingers dip down, sweeping between my cleavage. “And you fucked me over.”
I want to scream that I didn’t want to, but I keep my mouth shut. My breaths come out in short, hard bursts as his fingers drop lower, catching the base of my dress and slowly inching it up.
“What are you doing?” I breathe.
“I’m fucking you. I’m taking what’s owed to me.”
I tremble. “I don’t think—”
He shuts me up by slamming his mouth down over mine in a hungry, forceful kiss. I can’t stop my body’s reaction. I reach up, tangling my fingers in his hair and kissing him with as much depth as I possibly can. His hands reach down between us and he unbuttons his belt, slipping it out. He holds it up between us and growls, “Hands.”
I give him my hands. He shoves them behind my back and uses the belt to secure them. “This isn’t for you,” he says, unbuttoning his pants. “You do not get to touch me.”
“Rafael,” I whisper.
“If you don’t want it, say no. I won’t force you.”
I say nothing. I do want it.
I want all of it.
His eyes flash, and he frees his cock before jerking my dress up.
“I’m going to fuck you hard,” he says, stroking his dick up and down, slowly, lazily. “It’ll hurt.”
I swallow. I still say nothing. I want the pain, the distraction.
Rafael lifts my leg, wrapping it around his hip, and then he presses his cock to my entrance and thrusts upwards. It burns as my body desperately tries to relax around the invasion. I gasp, he hisses, and then he does as he promised. He fucks me. He fucks me hard and deep, one hand tangled in my hair, angrily jerking it back, while the other rests on my hip, controlling my body, angling me just how he wants me.
It feels so damned good.
“Rafael,” I gasp.
“Don’t say my fucking name.”
“Please,” I mewl.
“Don’t fucking speak,” he orders, his voice gruff. “This is mine. This is for me.”
His dick is hard, stretching me wide as he pounds into me. The belt burns against my wrists, but I don’t care. I welcome the pain.
“You’re a fucking liar,” he pants.
Thrust.
“A fucking betrayer.”
Thrust.
“You ripped my fucking heart out.”
Tears burst forth and run down my cheeks. I can’t keep them in any longer. Rafael ignores them, fucking me harder until I can’t stop the orgasm exploding through me. His follows close behind, but he doesn’t make a sound. His entire body tenses up and his jaw tightens, but he’s silent.
He releases me and steps back, undoing the belt and pulling his pants back up. “Get out.”
My heart cracks in two. I deserve that. I know I do. But I didn’t realize how much it would hurt. “Raf. . .”
“Get the fuck out, Julietta. I’m letting you live only for the sake of our son, but you’re no longer worth anything to me.”
My knees tremble, and tears trickle down my cheeks as I turn and open the office door. Vincent stands just down the hall and when he sees me, his eyes soften a little.
“Come on. I’ll take you to your room.”
I say nothing. Neither does he. But he reaches out and takes my hand halfway down the hall.
I’ll be forever grateful for that tiny amount of comfort.
CHAPTER 18
RAFAEL
“Listen,” Celia says, plonking down onto the sofa in my office. “Whatever you think you’re going to get from me, you’re not.”
I study her, my arms crossed. Vincent stands behind her on the sofa, doing the same as I am.
“Your silent, broody thing doesn’t scare me,” she continues. “So give it up.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you have a smart mouth?” I mutter.
She smiles. “All the time. Thank you.”
I shake my head with a sigh. “We can do this the hard way or the easy way, Celia, but we are doing it.”
“Can you give me both options so I might decide which way I feel like being tortured today?” she snipes, crossing her legs.
Vincent tries to smother his laugh, but a wheeze escapes, and I shoot him a look.
“I’m not going to torture you. There is more than one way to skin a cat.”
She scrunches up her nose. “What an awful statement.”
I raise my brows at her, showing my impatience.
“I’m not telling you anything, Rafael. So don’t ask me to.”
“How’s your little sister, Celia?” I ask casually.
She flinches, and her eyes shoot to mine. A nerve has been hit, which is exactly what I need. “Don’t you dare touch her. You leave her alone.”
“She’s relying very heavily on that scholarship of hers, isn’t she? I wonder how she’d feel if that was taken from her.”
Celia’s face twists in disgust. “You piece of shit. She did nothing to you.”
“No, she didn’t. But you forget who I am. I’ll do whatever I have to to find out who Julietta is working with.”
She crosses her arms and looks down. “You’re asking me to choose between my best friend and my sister.”
“Your sister can live a normal life, uninterrupted. Julietta won’t. One way or another, her world is going to crumble. If you love her, you tell us what we need to know and we’ll protect her.”
“You won’t protect her!” she spits. “If that were the case she would have come to you. She has nobody on her side except me. So if you think I’m going to spill, think again.”
“I can and will protect her for the sake of Ajax.”
Celia shakes her head. “I don’t believe you. I think the second you know who she’s working with you’re going to make her life a misery, and if you don’t, he will. Julie is not a bad person, and believe it or not, she loves you. She has lived through more than you can imagine to keep her baby safe.”
I flinch. She loves me?
No. If she loved me she wouldn’t have fucked me over.
“Well, if that’s the way you feel I have no use for you. Vincent, make the call to end Jade’s scholarship.”
Celia leaps up and spins around. “If you so much as take a step towards that phone I will lose my shit.”
Vincent pulls his phone out from his pocket. Celia launches over the back of the couch. He takes a step back but not before she grips hold of his hand and snatches the phone away. Impressive woman.
“Give me the fucking phone,” Vincent growls, catching her around the waist and hauling her close to him.
“Get fucked,” she yells, throwing the phone across the room so it hits the wall and smashes in two pieces.
I pull out my phone while the two of them make their exchange. I dial the scholarship company we researched earlier; I happen to know someone there who owes me a favor. I can have Jade’s scholarship ending in a matter of minutes.
I know that Celia won’t allow that to happen. Her family struggles and Jade will lose everything without that financial aid.
“It’s Rafael,” I say into the phone. “Put Henry on.”
Celia swivels around and stares at me with wide eyes. “Rafael, please.”
“Yeah, I want to speak with you about Jade. I called earlier. I need you to end that scholarship as discussed.”
“No,” Celia cries, running towards me.
I put a hand out, and she skids to a stop.
“Have it immediately revoked,” I continue.
“Rafael! You can’t. She’ll die without that. It’s everything. Please.”
I ignore her. She’s pacing in front of me in tears. The look on her face is as panicked as her mannerisms.
“Yes. You owe me, Henry, so make sure this happens. Today.”
“It was Riccardo!” Celia screams.
Everything in my body goes still. For a second, I think I’ve heard her wrong. There is no way she just said it was Riccardo. No fucking way.
“Never mind, Henry,” I manage through clenched teeth. “Let Jade keep the financial aid.”
I hang up the phone and look to Celia, who is crying and shaking her head.
“No,” she sobs. “What have I done?”
I look to Vincent, who must be as shocked as I am. However, his face is blank and reveals nothing.
“Tell me everything you know, Celia,” I demand. “Right now.”
She puts her face in her hands. Poor girl. I just made her betray her best friend.
But it had to be done.
“Now,” I demand, but my voice isn’t hard.
She sits on the couch, and with her eyes to the floor, she tells me everything.
~*~*~*~
JULIETTA
Riccardo will be losing his mind by now, especially because Celia has gone, all Ajax’s stuff has gone, and I know he’ll assume the worst. He’ll assume I’ve skipped town, or come to Rafael and told him everything. He’ll be freaking out and the longer I’m stuck in here, the more I’m freaking out. I can’t warn my parents. I can’t make sure they’re okay.
Vincent took Celia out about four hours ago, and that’s only added to my stress. What do they want with her? Are they going to demand she tells them everything? She wouldn’t. Celia is like a vault. She would never do that to me.
I pace the room, bouncing Ajax in my arms. My stress levels are out of this world, and my entire body is on high alert. I just don’t feel good.
The door opens, and I’m snapped out of my thoughts. I turn and see Rafael, Vincent, and Celia standing in the opening. Celia sobs, her arms wrapped around herself, and Vincent looks . . . sad, almost. Like he feels sorry for me. Rafael’s eyes find mine and there is no anger in them, just pity. My skin prickles, and my body starts to hum. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.
“What?” I whisper.
“I’m sorry, Julietta,” Rafael says, his voice careful. “We just got word that your father has passed away.”
My knees buckle. Vincent lunges forward and takes Ajax out of my hands. The second he does, I fall, my hands slapping against the carpet, agony ripping through my body. No. No. No.
“No,” I scream into the carpet. “No!”
“I’m so sorry,” Celia cries. “So sorry, Julie.”
I look up at her, tears running down my cheeks, my body thrumming with a pain I could have never imagined. It can’t be real. Not Daddy. He isn’t dead. They’re lying.
“What happened?” I whisper.
“He was shot about two hours ago,” Rafael says. “Your mother is okay, and we have her in a safe location until we can find Riccardo and end this.”
My eyes dart to Celia’s, and everything falls into place. “You told them?” I say, my voice thick and disbelieving.
“I’m sorry, Julie. They threatened to take Jade’s scholarship away and—”
I leap to my feet. “How dare you?” I scream. “You knew . . . you knew what he’d do if they found out. My father is dead because of you.”
“Vincent,” Rafael orders. “Take Celia and Ajax from the room.”
“How could you?” I wail as Vincent drags a sobbing Celia from the room.
“Julietta,” Rafael begins.
“Don’t,” I scream, tears running down my face. “Don’t you speak to me. This is all your fault. If I’d never fucking met you, he would still be alive. This is all your fault.”
My knees start shaking again. Daddy. My beautiful father. No.
I start going down before I have the chance to stop myself. Rafael lunges forward and catches me before I hit the ground. “This is all your fault,” I sob into his chest, clutching his jacket.
“I’m sorry, Julietta.”
“I hate you,” I cry. “I fucking hate you, Rafael Lencioni.”
He doesn’t say anything else. He just holds me while I scream and cry. And he holds me when I stop. He holds me when exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep in his arms.
He just holds me.
CHAPTER 19
I sit numbly, clutching my sobbing mother’s hand. Rafael had her picked up discreetly by one of his drivers about an hour ago and brought her to his home.
Rafael, Vincent, and Benito have been talking for the last twelve hours about what they’re going to do. Riccardo knows that they know; he’s either gone running or he’s going to strike out in some reckless attempt to get what he’s been working for. Nobody knows which way it’ll go. None of us feel safe.
I feel empty. Broken. I did everything I could to protect my family, but the fact of the matter is that I should have never gotten involved with the mafia. It’s my fault my father is dead. My fault and mine alone. He warned me to stay away, Celia warned me to stay away, but I still did it, naively believing that this world wouldn’t touch me. Now it has, and my father is dead because of it. I’ve cried so much there is nothing left but a bitter, empty, numb hole where my heart is supposed to be.
Because of me.
“Would you like another cup of tea?” Celia asks my mom.
“No,” she says, her voice broken right along with her spirit. “I’m just going to lie down.”
She stands and walks down the hall. I watch her go, my heart breaking with her every step. She loved my father—her life will never be the same without him.
“He had to be working with someone,” Benito says. “He wouldn’t have acted alone. We can’t trust anyone.”
Celia sits beside me, but I shuffle away. I’m so angry at her, yet at the same time I know why she did what she did. I know because I’ve done the same thing for the last few months to protect the ones I love. She was doing what she had to in order to protect her sister. I should have never asked her to keep my secret. I know all of this, yet I can’t stop the emptiness I’m feeling towards everyone right now.
“Any idea who that might be?” Vincent asks me.
I look up at them and speak with a monotone voice. “I don’t know who, and that’s the truth. All I know is the bombings weren’t him, because he was freaking out that someone was going to interrupt his plans. The shipments were him. He did all of that.”
“What was his plan, exactly?” Rafael asks.
I look down at the floor. “He didn’t want to just kill you, because he knew it would make him look suspici
ous. So he wanted to make it look like you were screwing up. He was going to basically fuck things up on the inside to make you look incompetent. I believe he was going to try and anger members of the cartel on your behalf in the hope they’d take you out.”
Rafael’s jaw clenches and he looks at the floor.
“Why did he use you?” Vincent asks standing guard in the corner with his arms crossed at this chest. We all look to him and he shrugs. “I need to know.”
“He used me because he found out I was pregnant with Rafael’s baby.”
“How?” Benito questions.
“I don’t know. I think Maria might have been wired when we got taken. It’s the only way I figure he could have figured it out.”
“Maria knew?” Rafael asks.
I look to him. “Yes. It’s why she freaked out.”
His face hardens, and he looks away. I feel nothing.
Vincent keeps talking. “So he used you and the Ajax to get what he wanted?”
“Yes. He told me that if I didn’t do as he asked he’d make sure Ajax got hurt, or my family. He also told me that if I told anyone and he was killed, that he had someone lined up to take me out. I was trapped.”
“Shit,” Vincent mutters. “Another thing we need to shut down. Julietta won’t be safe if we don’t figure out who he hired to kill her when he’s taken out, because we will end that fucker.”
“You’re damn fucking right we will,” Rafael growls. “I need a minute to think.”
He turns and storms off down the hall.
We all watch him go.
None of us try to stop him.
~*~*~*~
JULIETTA
The sound wakes me, a loud, booming sound.
I jerk up out of bed and glance around, trying to figure out what’s happening. An alarm rings out, and then the door flies open and Rafael runs into the room, a frantic expression on his face. “Get up!” he orders.
Celia and I jump up just as another explosion rips through the house. I scream and turn, running towards Ajax’s crib. He’s crying, his little hands flailing about. Rafael beats me to it and leans down, scooping up his son. He tucks him close to his chest, and I don’t miss the fleeting expression of tenderness on his face as he realizes it’s the first time he’s touched him.