• • •
I’d like to say we arrived back to a heroes’ welcome, but life doesn’t work like that. Avoiding a catastrophic war is almost never as well regarded as winning one, or even surviving one.
What was uppermost in everyone’s mind, including the king’s, upon our return to Lendowyn Castle, had been the absolute debacle of the anniversary banquet. And, absent marauding elves, Sebastian’s reign of terror was the act of war that was most pressing. Fortunately no one had organized an attack yet, so Lendowyn was able to bring to the negotiation table the heads of two of the three hostile dragons.
That placed those kingdoms attacked by Blue or Green in our debt, banquet catastrophe aside. Those new allies and Lendowyn’s recent history of victories on the battlefield was enough to keep other potential threats from developing past the saber-rattling stage.
Ironically enough, Lendowyn’s staunchest ally proved to be the new crown of Grünwald. As luck would have it, the fact they’d snubbed our ill-fated anniversary banquet meant that it was the one nearby kingdom Lendowyn retained cordial relations with.
Also, despite all the headaches Sebastian’s flaming tantrum had caused, it was surprisingly difficult for Lucille to convince her father and his advisors to annul her marriage to him. Legally it wasn’t really an issue; the marriage had obviously never been consummated. But even though King Alfred was maybe inappropriately happy that his daughter was actually his daughter again, the Dragon Prince had been a major financial draw for Lendowyn and it was hard for anyone relying on the state of Lendowyn’s finances to admit he was really gone.
I was impressed Lucille got them to see sense without directly threatening anyone with bodily harm. But, after all, a were-dragon was almost as good, and the Dragon Princess was royal by blood rather than marriage, so that should count for something. Also the accountants were somewhat mollified when they realized that they wouldn’t have to pay to have the rampant dragon removed from all the kingdom’s heraldry just a year after it had been added.
She only had to resort to threats after the annulment, when she announced her intentions for a new marriage.
• • •
Our second marriage was to each other again, and this time she wore the dress.
Unlike the first one, this wasn’t a political spectacle. King Alfred seemed to want to downplay the ceremony and save money. It was just Lucille and me, the girls, Sir Forsythe and Brock, the king, and a handful of courtiers I really couldn’t care less about.
We exchanged vows, attended a banquet I barely remember, and I took her up to our bedchamber. That night had been pointedly planned for the quarter moon, so that we could share our wedding night here.
We hugged and kissed as man and wife, or as man and conveniently shaped were-dragon spouse, and she said, “I love you, Frank Blackthorne.”
“I love you, Princess Dragon.”
She giggled and kissed me again. Then she leaned to my ear and said, “Remember that fantasy where we both were dragons?”
I nodded, feeling my face blush.
“Well,” she said, “I have another fantasy.”
And that’s all I’m going to say about that.
• • •
So what does any god want?
Well, if you ever visit Lendowyn Castle, you might happen to notice that the walls between the great hall, the throne room, and the kitchens do not quite meet, leaving a gap in between all of them, a void inaccessible from anywhere inside the castle itself. It was surprisingly simple to doctor the plans of the reconstruction to add what I wanted.
It was harder to divert the funds for the statues, tapestries, braziers, and other paraphernalia, but it was really only appropriate to use embezzled funds.
Lucille is the only other member of the royal court to realize I’d built a full-blown temple to Lothan in the center of Lendowyn Castle. Her response was to laugh and simply require that miscreants who brave the tunnel complex leading to Lothan’s house remember where their loyalties lie.
Have I mentioned that I love my wife?
And should Lendowyn ever be threatened again, every resident cutpurse and brigand will stand to defend her, or face Lothan’s displeasure.
• • •
Happily ever after?
To be honest, I don’t know yet. I’m still really uncomfortable with all this nobility stuff. I’m not prince material. But as long as I have Lucille, I think I’ll have the “happily” part taken care of.
But . . .
I now have three gods who have an unhealthy interest in me. There are at least a dozen kingdoms that are probably an insult away from open war. I have a father-in-law who tolerates me only because a few times a month his daughter can literally bite him in half. King-Dudley-in-exile is still out there somewhere, and very unhappy with me. And, as I’ve always said, things never go wrong the way I expect.
So the Thief and the Princess—and the Dragon—lived happily . . .
. . . after is another story.
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S. Andrew Swann, Dragon Wizard
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