He lowered his voice. “As a judge, I can’t condone the breaking of the law, no matter how minor the infraction. But as a person, I can sympathize—even be outraged—by the plight of those less fortunate than us. A child of ten living on the street and stealing a loaf of bread because he’s starving has broken the law. Do you expect me to send him to jail, or even to a juvenile detention facility?”
With her head still in her hands, she raised her eyes back to his, but said nothing.
“Have I led you to believe that I’m heartless?” he asked.
“No, of course not!” she exclaimed.
“I realize illegal immigration is a big problem for California, as it is for Texas. You know I’ve always supported a number of charities. What you might not be aware of is that for years I’ve been making sizable donations to an El Paso–based charitable organization aiding refugees from the city of Ciudad Juárez, in Chihuahua, just south of our border. The city is highly dangerous and there are always refugees making their way across the border. These people need help. Yes, we have to trust the system—but the system doesn’t always work, so there are organizations that help.”
Disbelieving, Madison stared at her father.
“I don’t know what happened between you and Rick, but would you have denied him—the child he was—the opportunity to stay in California? Did it cost the system? Maybe some. But look what he’s made of himself, and how much he gives back to society. At great personal peril, I might add.”
Had it been her own lack of compassion, her own rigidity, that had driven her and Rick apart after all? Madison stayed up long after her father had gone to bed, deliberating on everything she’d learned that evening. Finally, she checked her watch.
It was too late to call Rick now, as much as she wanted to.
The sudden muffled thumps outside her front door startled her. She was on her feet almost as fast as Owen was.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
THE STEADY OFFSHORE wind had Madison’s hair whipping around her face. She brushed it back impatiently and gazed out over the ocean. The turbulence of the white-capped waves seemed to mimic her emotions. In the muted light of the full moon, she watched Owen, Sniff and Nitro chasing one another in the sand. She cast a professional eye on Sniff, noting that his cruciate ligament didn’t seem to be bothering him too much.
She and Rick stood side by side. The crash of the waves and the occasional bark of a dog were the only sounds around them. “Thank you for coming out with me,” Rick finally said. “I know it’s late...early actually,” he said with a nervous laugh, “but I had to see you after this evening.”
“I’m glad you stopped by.”
“Sorry that Sniff’s tail hitting your door startled you. He knew where we were and was happy about seeing you and Owen.”
“With everything that’s gone on, yes, the thumping did scare me.” Despite her brave thoughts not that much earlier, she didn’t know what else to say in the face of her rioting emotions.
The silence stretched out again, then Rick turned to her. “I’ve missed you.”
The simple words tore at Madison’s heart. Oh, how she’d missed him.
The three dogs charged into the surf and came rushing out just as quickly, almost as if they were trying to catch the waves.
“Can we talk about it?”
Unsure of what he meant, Madison looked back at him. “About what?”
He hunched his shoulders against the wind and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “About what’s going on between us?”
“Sure,” she said, the nerves skittering through her.
“Will you walk with me?”
They strolled along the Pacific Beach boardwalk as the dogs engaged in a frenzied game of chase.
“I was wrong,” Rick eventually said.
Madison stopped and placed a hand on his arm, getting him to turn toward her. “No. No. I was wrong!” She didn’t want him to give up what he’d been doing. He’d helped so many young boys. She’d finally come to understand and truly value what he’d been doing for those kids, and appreciate even more the man he was. She needed to convince him of that. But looking deep into his eyes, she saw confusion. “Please don’t stop,” she entreated him.
“Stop?”
“Yes. Please don’t stop doing what you’ve been doing.”
“Stop...what?”
Madison shook her head. “What you did.”
“I was wrong about what I did.”
“No!” She grabbed both his arms. “You aren’t wrong!”
A deep V appeared between his brows. “Madison, I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.”
“Yes. Yes, we are,” she said. “What you’ve been doing with those boys. Helping them start a new life in California. It’s so wonderful, and I’ve been so hardheaded about it, and so wrong. I’d come to conclude that I would...tolerate it. That’s what I wanted to tell you the night you came over...when you broke up with me. But tolerate isn’t the right word. I understand and accept what you’ve been doing.”
She told him about Diego and Miguel, and the impact they’d had on her. “I’m still seeing them and I’d like you to meet them,” she said. “I’m proud of you! Even my father would approve!”
“You mentioned it to your father?”
“No. No, but we discussed what Kayla’s mother did at Thanksgiving dinner before you got there. About her being in California illegally and with false papers, and he admires her for it. So I know he’d think what you’re doing is commendable.”
She couldn’t read the look on his face. “Can you give me another chance?” she asked. “I’m so sorry for having judged you, and judged you wrong. Is there a chance for us?” She reached for his hands. “I love you...” she whispered.
Rick continued to hold her gaze with what might have been wonder in his eyes. “Oh, Madison. You have no idea how much those words mean to me. How I’ve longed to hear them from you.”
She reached up to hold his face in her hands, but he grabbed her arms and prevented her from doing that.
“Madison, if you can only say those words to me again after you hear me out.” He inhaled deeply, then blew out a huge breath. “We have been talking about two different things here. Like I said, you have no idea how much it means for you to say what you did about my actions. But that’s not what I was referring to.”
“Then, what?” she asked, panic rising inside her. “That’s why you left me. Because I couldn’t accept or understand what you were doing. I know how wrong I was...”
“I didn’t leave you because of our differences in that regard. That was an excuse. I couldn’t tell you the truth.” He led her to a bench, whistled to the dogs and drew her down beside him.
She felt an incredible chill despite the warm night air. Just when she’d thought that what had driven them apart had been resolved, she dreaded what he was going to say. “Then, why?”
“I did it because I was afraid for your safety.”
Rick explained to her what had occurred with the cartel, the risk he’d faced and why he’d done what he had. “And I was wrong,” he concluded. “Even Cal told me I shouldn’t have made the decision for us unilaterally, but I wouldn’t listen. He told me I was an idiot, and he was right.”
Madison didn’t know what to say. She felt petrified, knowing the cartel had been after Rick, and it was disconcerting to think she’d been targeted, too. “I can understand, even appreciate, that you were trying to protect me.”
He forced a laugh again. “I was wrong.”
“You’ve lost me again.”
“The incidents that occurred with you? We decided it had to be the cartel trying to make a point although it made no sense
to us. But it wasn’t.”
Madison was ready to scream. This was too much to take in. “If it wasn’t the cartel, then who? Am I still in danger? Are you?”
He gave her a lopsided smile and reached out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “No. You’re not in danger. It wasn’t the cartel. It was Brody.”
“Sorry. What?” She couldn’t have been hearing right. “The cop?”
“Uh-huh. There was another incident you didn’t know about. After the break-in at your house, we put on extra patrols. One of them caught a car in front of your place, but it took off. The officer got the vehicle make, model, color and a partial plate. We located the vehicle. It belongs to Brody.”
Madison was shaking her head in disbelief.
“When we interrogated him, he fell apart. It turns out he’d been feeding information to the cartel. That was how they knew about the bust on that warehouse and were able to set the trap for us. He’s the one who got the CI—one of his new ones—to call us about the tip that ended in Jeff’s murder. He did it for money, sure. Apparently along with his drinking problem, he has a gambling problem. But also because he’d had it in for me for a while. After his transfer, which he blamed me for, his hatred for me intensified. He saw you at Logan’s barbecue, was attracted to you and thought he could satisfy his own craving and get back at me at the same time.”
Madison stared at Rick mutely. “My things... He went through my belongings and broke my things. Why?”
Rick shrugged. “All we can figure is that he was drunk and his emotional state was deteriorating. Madison, he confessed to it all. With his confession, and everything Brody’s done, he’s going to be locked away for a long time. You don’t have to worry. And me? I was wrong. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but I didn’t even know where the threat was coming from, and it could have cost us our future. I was so very wrong.” He cupped her face. His eyes shone with something she couldn’t quite comprehend, but it tugged at her heart.
“Madison, I love you. If you can forgive me and say those three words to me again now, knowing what I did... Well, it would mean the world to me.”
Madison’s cheeks were wet with tears and she tried to find her voice. She was so overwhelmed with emotion—with happiness—she was afraid she couldn’t get a single word out. She could see in Rick’s eyes that he was expecting the worst. “Oh, Rick. I love you!” she finally cried, and threw herself into his arms.
Her exclamation had alerted the dogs and they came bounding back. They shook themselves, spraying water and wet sand on them. “Do you think three dogs together are too much?” Rick asked, laughing.
“No, I think three dogs are just right!” Then she sobered and looked in his eyes again. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying...well, we’ve had so much to distract us and things we’ve both been worried about. These misunderstandings and threats. But do you know what I’ve discovered?”
She shook her head.
“I’ve discovered that I can’t spend my life without you. In fact, I can’t spend another day without you!”
“Oh, Rick...”
He placed a finger on her lips. “Shh. Let me finish. I’m not saying that the issues we’ve had to deal with aren’t significant. What I do with those kids. Wanting to keep you safe and protected. These are vital matters. But you know what?”
She shook her head again.
“I’ve discovered that you are the top priority in my life. That my love for you, and yours for me, is what’s crucial.” He brushed his lips across hers.
“So here’s what I’ve learned,” he went on. “That nothing matters as much as our love. It’s love that matters most.”
“It is love that matters most,” Madison repeated in awe, delighting in the certainty that Rick was truly hers and she was his.
* * * * *
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IMPRINT: Forever Romance
ISBN: 9781489205933
TITLE: WHEN LOVE MATTERS MOST
First Australian Publication 2016
Copyright © 2016 Kate James
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher, Harlequin Mills & Boon®, Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street, Sydney, N.S.W., Australia 2000.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
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Kate James, When Love Matters Most
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