Despite the snow that stung his eyes and dampened his hair, Len began to pace back and forth along the platform, peering down the tracks every few seconds. No train yet. Damn it! Stuck in New England on Christmas Eve.
This was supposed to be the season of joy, but there was little evidence of that in the faces around him. Most people were burdened with luggage and armfuls of Christmas packages. Some of the gift wrap was torn, the bows limp and tattered. The children, sensing their parents’ anxiety, were cranky and restless. The younger ones whined and clung to their mothers.
Worry weighed on Len’s heart. He had to catch the Boston flight, otherwise he wouldn’t make it home to Rawhide, Texas, today. He’d miss his date with Amy and the family’s Christmas Eve celebration. Part of his precious leave would be squandered because of the snowstorm.
There was another reason he yearned for home. Len didn’t intend this to be an ordinary Christmas. No, this Christmas would be one of the best in his entire life. It had everything to do with Amy—and the engagement ring burning a hole in his uniform pocket.
Len had enlisted in the navy following high-school graduation and taken his submarine training in New London, Connecticut. Afterward, he’d been assigned to the sub base in Bangor, Maine. He thoroughly enjoyed life on the East Coast, so different from anything he’d known in Texas, and wondered if Amy would like it, too…?.
Len was proud to serve his country and seriously considered making the navy his career, but that decision depended on a number of things. Amy’s answer, for one.
A real drawback of military life was this separation from his family. On his most recent trip home last September, he’d come to realize how much he loved Amy Brent. In the weeks since, he’d decided to ask her to marry him. They planned to be together that very night, Christmas Eve—the most wonderful night of the year. Once they were alone, away from family and friends, Len intended to propose.
He loved Amy; he had no doubts about that. He wasn’t a man who gave his heart easily, and he’d made sure, in his own mind at least, that marriage was what he truly wanted. In the weeks since their last meeting, he’d come to see that loving her was for real and for always.
They hadn’t talked about marriage, not the way some couples did, but he was confident she loved him, too. He paused for a moment and held in a sigh as the doubts came at him, thick as the falling snow. Lately Len had noticed that Amy seemed less like her normal self. They hadn’t talked much, not with him saving to buy the diamond. And it was difficult for Amy to call him at the base. So they’d exchanged letters—light newsy letters with little mention of feelings. He had to admit he found their letters enjoyable to read—and even to write—and the cost of stamps was a lot more manageable than some of his phone bills had been. The truth was, he couldn’t afford to spend money on long-distance calls anymore, not the way he had in previous months. His airfare home hadn’t been cheap, either.
It wasn’t as if he’d put off traveling until the last minute, which Amy seemed to suspect. He’d been on duty until the wee hours of this morning; he’d explained all that in a letter he’d mailed earlier in the week, when he’d sent her his flight information. Although Amy hadn’t come right out and said it, he knew she’d been disappointed he couldn’t arrive earlier, but that was navy life.
He hadn’t received a letter from her in ten days, which was unusual. Then again, perhaps not. After all, they’d be seeing each other soon. Amy and his parents were scheduled to pick him up in Dallas, and together they’d drive home to Rawhide. He closed his eyes and pictured their reunion, hoping the mental image would help calm his jangled nerves. It did soothe him, but not for long.
He had to get home for Christmas. He just had to.
This was Cathy Norris’s first Christmas without Ron, and she refused to spend it in Maine. She’d buried her husband of forty-one years that October; her grief hadn’t even begun to abate. The thought of waking up Christmas morning without him had prompted her to accept her daughter’s invitation. She’d be joining Madeline and her young family in Boston for the holidays.
Cathy had postponed the decision until last week for a number of reasons. To begin with, she wasn’t a good traveler and tended to stay close to home. Ron, on the other hand, had adored adventure and loved trekking through the woods and camping and fishing with his friends. Cathy was more of a homebody. She’d never flown or taken the train by herself before—but then, she was learning, now, to do a great many unfamiliar things on her own. In the past Ron had always been with her, seeing to their tickets, their luggage and any unforeseen problems. He had been such a dear husband, so thoughtful and generous.
The battle with cancer had been waged for a year. Ron had put up a gallant fight, but in the end he’d been ready to die, far more ready than she was to let him go. Trivial as it seemed now, she realized that subconsciously she’d wanted him to live until after the holidays.
Naturally she’d never said anything. How could she, when such a request was purely selfish? It wasn’t as if Ron could choose when he would die. Nevertheless, she’d clung to him emotionally far longer than she should have—until she’d painfully acknowledged that her fears were denying her husband a peaceful exit from life. Then with an agony that had all but crippled her, she’d kissed him one final time. Holding his limp hand between her own, she’d sat by his bedside, loving him with her entire being, and waited until he’d breathed his last.
Ron’s death clouded what would otherwise have been her favorite month of the year. She found it devastating to be around others celebrating the season while she struggled to shake her all-consuming grief. She’d accepted Madeline’s invitation as part of a concerted effort to survive the season of peace and goodwill.
Charting a new course for herself at this age was more of a challenge than she wanted. Life, however, had seen fit to make her a widow one month, then thrust her into the holiday season the next.
She was doing her best, trying to cope with her grief, finding the courage to smile now and again for her children’s sake. They realized how difficult the holidays were for her of course, but her daughters were grieving, too.
This snowstorm had been an unwelcome hitch in her careful plans. Madeline had urged her to come sooner, but Cathy had foolishly resisted, not wanting to overstay her welcome. She’d agreed to visit until the twenty-seventh. Ron had always said that company, like fish, began to smell after three days.
“Mom,” Madeline had said when she’d phoned early that morning, “I heard on the news there’s a huge snowstorm headed your way.”
“I’m afraid it arrived last night.” The wind had moaned audibly outside her window as she spoke.
“What are you going to do?” Madeline, her youngest, tended to worry; unfortunately she’d inherited that trait from her mother.
“Do?” Cathy repeated as if a fierce winter blizzard was of little concern. “I’m taking the train to Boston to join you, Brian and the children for Christmas. What else is there to do?”
“But how will you get to the station?”
Cathy had already worked that out. “I’ve phoned for a taxi.”
“But, Mom—”
“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Cathy said firmly, hoping she sounded confident even though she was an emotional wreck. She felt as though her life was caving in around her. Stuck in Bangor over Christmas, grieving for Ron—that would have been more than Cathy could handle. If spending the holiday with family meant taking her chances in the middle of a snowstorm, then so be it.
The first hurdle had been successfully breached. Listening to Andy Williams crooning a Christmas ballad, Cathy stood in line at the Bangor train depot, along with half the town, it seemed. The taxi fare had been exorbitant, but at least she was here, safe and sound. She’d packed light, leaving plenty of room in her suitcase for gifts for her two youngest granddaughters. Shopping had been a chore this year, so she’d decided simply to give Madeline and Brian a check and leave it at that, but she couldn
’t give money to her grandchildren. They were much too young for that. The best gifts she could think to bring them were books, plus a toy each.
Madeline had consented to let Lindsay and Angela, aged three and five, open their presents that evening following church services. Then the children could climb onto Cathy’s lap and she’d read them to sleep. The thought of holding her grandchildren close helped ease the ache in her heart.
Everything would be all right now that she was at the depot, she reassured herself. Soon she’d be with her family. The train might be late, but it would get there eventually.
All her worries had been for nothing.
Matthew McHugh hated Christmas. And he didn’t have a problem expressing that opinion. As for the season of goodwill—what a laugh. Especially now, when he was stuck in an overcrowded train depot, waiting for the next train to Boston where he’d catch the flight into LAX. The timing of this snowstorm had been impeccable. Every seat in the station was taken, and people who weren’t sitting nervously paced the confined area, waiting for the train, which was already fifteen minutes late. Some, like that guy in the navy uniform, were even prowling the platform—as though that would make the train come any faster.
Christmas Eve, and the airports, train depots and bus stations were jammed. Everyone was in a rush to get somewhere, him included. As a sales rep for a Los Angeles–based software company, Matt was a seasoned traveler. And he figured anyone who spent a lot of time in airports would agree: Christmas was the worst. Crying babies, little old ladies, cranky kids—he’d endured it all. Most of it with ill grace.
His boss, Ruth Shroeder, who’d been promoted over him, had handed him this assignment early in the week. She’d purposely sent him to the other side of the country just so he’d know she was in charge. Rub his face in it, so to speak. This could easily have been a wasted trip; no one bought computer software three days before Christmas. Fortunately he’d outfoxed her and made the sale. By rights, he should be celebrating, but he experienced little satisfaction and no sense of triumph.
Ruth had been expecting him to make a fuss, demand that the assignment go to one of the junior sales reps. Matt had merely smiled and reached for the plane tickets. He’d sold the software, but was left feeling that although he’d won the battle, he was destined to lose the war.
And a whole lot more.
Pam, his wife of fifteen years, hadn’t been the least bit understanding about this trip. If ever he’d needed her support it was now, but all she’d done was add to his burden. “Christmas, Matt? You’re leaving three days before Christmas?”
What irritated him most was her complete and total lack of appreciation for his feelings. It wasn’t like he’d asked for this trip or wanted to be away from the family. The fact that Pam had chosen the evening of his departure to start an argument revealed how little she recognized the stress he’d been under since the promotions were announced.
“I already said it couldn’t be helped,” he’d explained calmly as he packed his bag. His words were devoid of emotion, although plenty of it simmered just below the surface. He carefully placed an extra shirt in his bag.
Pam had gone strangely quiet.
“I’ll be home Christmas Eve in time for dinner,” he’d promised, not meeting her eyes. “My flight gets into LAX at four, so I’ll be back here by six.” He spoke briskly, reassuringly.
Silence.
“Come on, Pam, you have to know I don’t like this any better than you do,” he said, and forcefully jerked the zipper on his garment bag closed.
“You’re going to miss Jimmy in the school play.”
He was sorry about that, but there were worse things in life than not seeing his six-year-old son as an elf. “I’ve already talked to him about it, and Jimmy understands.” Even if his wife didn’t.
“What was he supposed to say?” Pam demanded.
Matt’s shrug was philosophical.
“You were away when Rachel had the lead in the Sunday-school program, too.”
Matt frowned, trying to remember missing that. “Rachel was in a Sunday-school program?”
“Three years ago… I see you’ve already forgotten. It broke her heart, but I notice you’ve conveniently let it slip your mind.”
Matt had heard enough. He folded his garment bag over his arm and reached for his coat and briefcase.
“You don’t have anything else to say?” Pam cried as she stormed after him.
“So you can shovel more guilt at me? Do you want me to confess I’m a rotten father? Okay, fine.” His voice gained volume. “Matthew McHugh is a rotten father.”
Pam blinked back tears. Matt longed to hold her, but they’d gone too far for that.
“You aren’t a bad father,” she said after a moment, and his heart softened. A fight now was the last thing either of them needed. He was about to tell her so when she continued. “It’s as a husband that you’ve completely failed.”
Matt swore under his breath. Any tenderness he’d felt earlier shattered.
“You’re leaving me to deal with Christmas, the shopping, dinners, everything. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Take it?” he shouted. “Do you know how many women would love to be able to stay home with their families? You have it easy compared to working mothers who’re out there competing in a man’s world. If you think shopping and cooking dinner is too much for you, then—”
Pam’s expression grew mutinous. “My not working was a decision we made together! I can’t believe you’re throwing that in my face now. If you’re saying you want me to get a job, fine, consider it done.”
Matt’s fist tightened around his briefcase handle. That wasn’t what he wanted, and Pam knew it.
“All I’m saying is I could use a little support.”
“It wouldn’t hurt you to support me, either,” she snapped.
They glared at each other, neither willing to give in.
“Have a good time,” she said flippantly. “Just go. I’ll do what I always do and make excuses for you with the children and your parents. I’ll be at the school for Jimmy, so don’t worry—not that you ever have.”
If Matt heard about this stupid Christmas pageant one more time, he’d blow a fuse. Rather than continue the argument, he headed out the door. “I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Don’t bother,” she exploded, and slammed the door in his wake.
Matt had taken his wife at her word and hadn’t phoned once in the past three days. It was the first time in fifteen years on the road that he hadn’t called his family. Pam had the number of his hotel, and she hadn’t made the effort to call him, either. They’d argued before, all couples did, but they’d never allowed a disagreement to go on this long.
Now as he stood in the crowded depot, waiting for the train to arrive, Matt was both tired and bored. For a man who’d purposely avoided any contact with his wife, he was in an all-fired hurry to get home.
This should be the happiest Christmas of Kelly Berry’s life. After a ten-year struggle she and Nick were first-time parents. She liked to joke that her labor had lasted five years. That was how long they’d been on the adoption waiting list. Five years, two months and seventeen days, to be exact. Then the call had finally come, and twenty hours later they’d brought their daughter home from the hospital.
In less than a day, their entire existence had been turned upside down. After the long frustrating years of waiting, they were parents at last.
This would be their first trip home to Macon, Georgia, since they’d signed the adoption papers. Brittany Ann Berry’s grandparents were eager to meet her.
The infant fussed in her arms and let loose with a piercing cry that cut into Neil Diamond’s rendition of “Jingle Bells.” A businessman scowled at them; Nick, muttering under his breath, grabbed the diaper bag. Doing the best she could, Kelly gently placed the baby over her shoulder and rubbed her tiny back.
“She’s all right,” Kelly said, smiling to reassure her husband while
he rummaged through the diaper bag in search of the pacifier.
As Nick sat upright, he dragged one hand down his face, already showing signs of stress. They hadn’t so much as left the train depot and already their nerves were shot. Despite their eagerness to be parents, the adjustment was a difficult one. Nick had proved to be a nervous father. Kelly wasn’t all that adept at parenthood herself. She smiled again at Nick, accepting the pacifier. Everything would be easier once Brittany slept through the night, she was sure of that.
Her two older sisters were much better at this mothering business than she was. Never had Kelly missed her family more; never had the need to talk out her fears and doubts been more pressing.
This flight home was an extravagance Nick and Kelly could ill afford. Then the storm had blown in, with all its complications, and they’d been rerouted to Boston by train.
A whistle sang from the distance, and the sound of it was as beautiful as church bells.
The train was coming, just like the man at the ticket counter had promised. She listened to the announcement listing the destinations between here and Boston as people stood and reached for their bags. Nick automatically started gathering the baby paraphernalia.
They were headed home, each and every one of them. A little snow wasn’t going to stand in their way.
Chapter 2
“I Wonder as I Wander”
The train filled up quickly, and Len was fortunate to find a seat next to a grandmotherly woman who pulled out her knitting the moment she’d made herself comfortable. Mesmerized, he watched her fingers expertly weave the yarn, mentally counting stitches in an effort to keep his mind off the time and how long it was taking his fellow passengers to get settled.
The nervousness in the pit of his stomach began to ease as the conductor, an elderly white-haired gentleman, shuffled slowly down the aisle, checking tickets.