She’d been blind to his pain, receiving the love he offered greedily, ravenous for its healing power. All the tension and sadness caused by her week in Tokyo had dissolved the moment he’d entered her. Afterwards she’d lain in his arms, exhausted but content, reflecting on his earlier statement that death can help one to appreciate what they have.
She distinctly remembered looking at his handsome face as she caressed his strong jaw, and being filled with a deep sense of gratitude.
In response, he’d taken her hand and placed it over the brand on his chest.
The Truth
When she heard the jingle of keys and the door being unlocked, her heart almost stopped. This unbearable moment before confrontation was excruciating; the knowledge that it could either end well or in complete disaster.
Think before you speak, but don’t hold back, she commanded herself.
The door swung open and Sir lingered for a moment in the hallway before entering the apartment. He shut the door and walked over to her, placing his hand on her head. A flood of energy passed between them, even though neither spoke. When he removed his hand, she looked up at him expectantly.
“Stand, Brie.”
The use of her given name was significant in this situation. Although he had accepted her submission by placing his hand on her head, Sir wanted to speak to her as an equal.
Brie stood gracefully, keeping her head bowed, suddenly aware how naked she felt standing before him—it was a new and unwelcome feeling.
In a move uncharacteristic of Sir, he took off his jacket and covered her with it. Rather than it being a tender gesture meant as comfort, it made her feel cold inside. Something was fundamentally wrong between them.
“Would you like a drink?” he asked.
It was only ten in the morning, but she realized he must still be on Japan time. “No thank you, Sir.”
He gestured that she should take a seat on the couch while he fixed himself a martini. She listened to the ice clinking in the metal shaker. Normally the sound of his vigorous shaking brought a thrill, but today it only brought a sense of concern.
Sir needs a drink to talk to me…
When he came out of the kitchen, he avoided looking at her as he walked to the window and gazed at the expansive city below. Sir took several sips of his drink before speaking.
“I know this was unfair to you.”
Brie let out a sigh of relief. At least he acknowledged it. “I want to know what happened.”
He shook his head, taking another sip. She sensed his emotional walls go up with that simple request. Was he going to keep it from her even now?
“I deserve to know, Sir.”
He glanced at her briefly, then looked back over the city. “How much do you already know?”
Brie got up from the couch and walked over to him, unhappy with the distance between them, both physical and emotional.
“Almost nothing, because no one would talk to me about it. However, I’m certain it involves your mother, because I was told it made the national news.”
“I didn’t anticipate that. Why the hell would it make the news?” he muttered, tilting his glass back to finish the rest of its contents.
Brie pulled at the long sleeves of Sir’s jacket to expose her hands, then she drew near to him, touching him lightly on the arm. He lowered his head, a look of torment clouding his eyes.
“Tell me…please,” she whispered, standing on tiptoes to kiss him on the mouth.
His lips were unresponsive but she saw tears in his eyes. “I’m a mess, Brie.”
“Condors, Sir.”
He stared at her for a moment before nodding. Sir put down his glass and led her to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for her at the table, then went into the pantry, bringing out the bag of rice. He plopped it on the kitchen table, sitting on the chair opposite her. “When I’m done, if you deem it necessary, I will kneel on rice.”
A smile tugged at her lips. “Fine. I’ll make that determination after you explain your silence.”
He gazed at her, the tortured look in his eyes breaking her heart, but no words came forth. Brie met his gaze and waited patiently.
Sir finally cleared his throat, stating, “I received news of my mother while we were in Tokyo.”
Brie nodded encouragingly.
“I did not see the point of burdening you with it at the time.”
“Bu—”
He shook his head. “You were already stretched emotionally trying to support Tono and…and truthfully, I could not process the news myself.”
A chill ran down Brie’s spine as she thought back on the trip. “I know exactly when you got the news. You were different in the car after I visited Tono’s father.”
“Yes, I received the call at the hospital while you were talking with Master Nosaka.” He looked at her suspiciously. “But how did you know that?”
“You were different, Sir. I could feel it, but I assumed that seeing Tono’s father on the verge of dying had brought up bad memories for you.”
He shook his head. “I failed to realize how adept you are at reading people. It’s a gift and a curse.”
She took his hand in hers and squeezed. “Not a curse, Sir. It is a characteristic condors share. So please tell me what’s happened with your mother.”
“You really don’t know?” he asked in disbelief.
“No one would tell me, out of respect for you.”
“I have good friends, I suppose,” he said half-heartedly, staring past her.
“You do, Sir.”
He let out a long sigh, putting his hands to his temples and closing his eyes. “There was an earthquake in China.”
“Oh my God, is Ruth dead?”
He opened his eyes and looked at her with unexpected pain, shaking his head. “My mother was providing relief in a remote area deep in the interior of China. She wasn’t found for days after the quake. How ironic is that? She was there to provide medical relief, yet there was none to be had when she needed it.”
He looked away. “Doctors tell me if my mother had received immediate care, she would have survived the incident. Instead she lies in a coma, connected to feeding and breathing tubes just to keep her alive.”
Brie got up from her chair and moved over to him, settling on his lap when he offered it. She hugged him tightly, whispering, “I’m so sorry.”
“How many times have I wished she would die? But damn it, not like this…” He pressed her against him. “This is my fault, Brie. I sent her there as penance, and now she is frozen between life and death.”
Brie pulled away and looked him in the eye. “What’s happened is not your fault. You gave her a second chance even when she didn’t deserve one.”
He growled deep in his throat. “As much as I hate the Beast, I never wanted this.”
Brie knew exactly what was needed. “We should go see her, Sir. Right now.” She tried to get off his lap, but he held her tighter.
“That’s where I just came from. As soon as you left, I flew to China to assess her condition and see if anything could be done.”
“Oh…” Brie couldn’t hide the pain of rejection she felt.
Sir lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Even though you are angry with me now, I do not regret keeping this from you. I was too full of rage and sorrow at the time.” He gazed at her with tenderness. “Truthfully, Brie, I did it to protect you…from me.”
“But I’m not afraid of you, Sir,” she declared defiantly.
“You should be. Although I would never hurt you physically, I’m quite capable of tearing you apart.”
“You should know that I can bear the brunt of your anger, as long as I understand its source.”
He groaned as he released his hold on her. “When I shared that I have my demons, it was not simply idle talk, Brie. I am my mother’s son. I know you admire my ability to assess people and deliver what they need, but what you don’t understand is that it can also be used to harm them. Ther
e are times I have to fight against that urge.”
She cradled his face in her hands. “You are a good man, Thane Davis. You would not harm me.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “That day, when I got the news…it festered inside me like poison, growing in intensity with each passing minute. If I had not retired into the bedroom, I guarantee you would have been hurt.”
“It’s not healthy to hide things from each other,” she insisted.
“You were having a hard enough time dealing with Tono. Don’t you remember?”
“But I could have handled it, Sir. Being left in the dark is far worse.”
“Don’t you understand, Brie? I needed time to process and compartmentalize my feelings before they controlled my actions.”
“While I believe you felt that you were protecting me, I’m still resentful you let me fly off to Denver like a clueless idiot, believing things were okay, while you faced your mother’s situation alone.”
He closed his eyes and nodded, taking in her words. “Yes, it was unfair to send you away unaware, but it brought me comfort to know you were happy and safe.”
She pressed her forehead against his. “I love that you want to protect me, Sir, but I’m not fragile. I won’t break.”
He brushed her cheek tenderly. “You must allow me the space I need.”
“I can’t be the last to know. We’re partners, Sir.”
He huffed in frustration. “How could I know the media would cover it here in the States? I didn’t intend to put you in that situation, but there is no way in hell I could have foreseen that.”
“Fine,” she conceded, “as long as it doesn’t happen again.”
He leaned forward, his mouth centimeters from her lips. “Rice or no rice?”
As tempting as those lips were, Brie avoided the kiss and reached for the bag. She looked at it thoughtfully before stating, “You deserve to be punished regardless of your good intentions. However, I’m a reasonable submissive and won’t punish you—this time. As long as it never happens again.”
“Rest assured I shall come to you first, but I still need my space. Force in that area will only be met with resistance.”
“I respect your need for space, but don’t take too long to include me. It hurts.”
He kissed her on the lips, murmuring, “Forgive me.”
His tone was light, but Brie saw the tortured look in his eyes when he picked up the bag of rice and returned it to the pantry.
Sir hadn’t spoken about his feelings after seeing his mother—he’d purposely avoided the issue—but Brie was willing to give him more time, grateful they had successfully navigated this first crisis.
She smiled when he came back to the table, saying as she sank to the kitchen floor, “Let my lips show you just how much you’ve been missed, Sir.”
Coen’s Lesson on Spanking
It didn’t take long for Brie to realize they hadn’t navigated anything. She could tell Sir was struggling under the weight of his emotions, but he was unwilling to speak of them. Instead he became uncharacteristically moody and withdrawn as he devoted his time and focus to work, to escape the pain that threatened to consume him.
Brie felt his torment and longed to share the burden he was carrying. Since he was unwilling to confront it, she broached the subject one morning before he had a chance to jump into his work.
“Sir, can we talk?”
He looked at her warily but answered, “Certainly, Brie.”
She took his hand, hoping the contact would ease his building anxiety. “You haven’t really told me how you feel about what’s happened to your mother.”
Brie could feel the walls instantly come up as he tried to pull away, but she’d been prepared for that. “I can see it’s eating you inside.”
His nostrils flared. “Why bring up unpleasant emotions? Talking about it will only drag out memories of a past I have no interest in revisiting.”
She smiled at him sympathetically. “But keeping those feeling buried is killing you inside. I see it in your eyes, I feel it in your touch.”
His response was curt and dismissive. “I don’t want to discuss it with you.”
Brie squeezed his hand, maintaining their connection. “You told me to give you space and I’ve done as you asked. However, things are not getting better, Sir. It’s only getting worse.”
“Brie,” he snarled menacingly, “don’t force me down this path with you. You will regret it.” He stood up and broke away from her, grabbing his car keys. “I’ll be out all day. Don’t bother calling.”
Brie swallowed the feelings of rejection as the door slammed shut. Every time she thought they were moving forward as a couple, she found herself in the same place, excluded and alone.
She understood that Sir had been reluctant to take her as his submissive for this very reason—she knew that—but it didn’t help to make his rejection any easier.
Brie was scheduled to meet with Master Coen that day to film a scene for her new documentary. Although she was sorely tempted to cancel, she didn’t want to disrespect the Headmaster’s time.
God, how she wished Lea was around—hell, even Mary would have been a comfort to her right now.
Brie got up and dutifully went to the bathroom to apply her makeup, putting her hair in a ponytail to avoid having to style it. Out of respect for Master Coen, she dressed in a business suit and high heels, when all she really wanted was to put on a pair of comfortable sweats.
Pulling into the parking lot of the Submissive Training Center brought back memories of more carefree days, when life had seemed full of promise and laughter. She got out of her car and walked to the entrance, smiling when a young man graciously opened the door for her. She thanked him, as images of Faelan danced in her mind.
She hadn’t thought of Todd Wallace in ages, and hoped Faelan and Mary were doing well together. No one had heard from them since they’d joined the commune. Cell phones were not allowed there, and Mary hadn’t bothered to contact Brie after she left.
You’d better be having the time of your life, bitch, Brie thought with a grin.
“Hello, Miss Bennett, would you like me to inform Headmaster Coen that you are here?” the receptionist asked pleasantly.
“Please.”
Brie stood beside the welcome center, lowering her gaze to avoid eye contact when she noticed some of the male students approaching on their way to business classes. She’d been trained well, but she jumped when the receptionist announced, “Good morning, Marquis Gray.”
Brie held her breath, drumming up courage before turning around and greeting him with a bright smile.
“Miss Bennett, what brings you here?” the ghostlike Dom asked.
“I’m filming a scene with Headmaster Coen, Marquis Gray.”
“Ah, for the new documentary, I take it.”
“Yes, I’m hoping to film a few scenes here for this second one.”
He took the mail the receptionist handed him and looked it over before nodding to her. “I trust the filming today will go well. Please see me after you’re done.”
Brie’s smile faltered for a moment but she responded appropriately, “It would be my pleasure.”
The elevators opened and Headmaster Coen walked out, as impressive-looking as the first time she met him—all muscle, but with a sophisticated air about him.
“You’ve returned, Miss Bennett.”
“I can’t seem to stay away, Headmaster Coen.”
He chuckled good-naturedly as he guided her into the elevator. Headmaster Coen led her to his office—Sir’s old office. Again memories assaulted her as she glanced around the room. “Is this year’s class performing well?” she asked, needing the distraction of idle conversation.
“As well as can be expected this early on. At least we aren’t distracted by unnecessary drama.”
She smiled at him, knowing the Headmaster was referring to her fraternization with Sir during her training. He added with a charming smile, “Best thing tha
t ever happened was you settling down so the world could continue.”
“And yet I always find myself back here.”
“Troublemaker to the core.”
She laughed, certain that he partially meant it. “How are your submissives doing?”
“We’ve added a third to the mix—seems to be the perfect combination of personalities.”
“Three?” she said, surprised. “You’re well on your way to a harem.”
He sat back in his chair. “I would have no complaints about that, as long as my girls all get along. The real skill is recognizing who would be an asset and who would just bring chaos to our home.”
“I suppose you would never have considered me a good fit, then.”
“No,” he agreed. “You invite chaos to the most stable of institutions.”
She ignored his cheeky insult. “I assume we are still filming a spanking scene today.”
He nodded, with a glint in his eye. “Yes. I noticed you were lacking a spanking scene in your first documentary.”
“That I was.”
He said in a formal voice, “Today I will educate the American public on the pleasures of spanking.” Headmaster Coen got up from Sir’s desk and held the door open for her. “My newest submissive will be joining us on the stage.”
So it was to be the auditorium? Brie felt honored that Headmaster Coen was giving the world a glimpse into the heart of the Center itself.
While Brie readied her camera, she watched the Headmaster set a scene reminiscent of the one he’d done with her during training. With arms of muscular steel, Headmaster Coen lifted the teacher’s desk and set it on the stage. He returned with a chalk board and props, including a ruler, a container of pencils and an apple. He placed them carefully on the desk, taking obvious pride in setting up the scene.
“Do you have enough light, Miss Bennett?”
She shook her head. “If we could turn them up, that would be optimal.”
He went to the back of the auditorium and turned up the lights until the stage was bathed in bright light. “Enough?”
She looked through her viewfinder and gave him a thumbs-up. “Perfect.”