Everyone chuckles and continues passing food around the table.
Conversation unfolds around us, the atmosphere light and happy. I laugh and talk, and feel totally normal.
Until Drake, who sits right next to me, slides his leg over so his thigh brushes mine. His left hand slips under the table, resting on my thigh.
Sparks ignite in my body, setting me on edge in the very best way.
My eyes drop to his hand for a moment. It sits right in the middle of my thigh. Not quite close enough to my knee to just be friendly or supportive. Not quite high enough to be possessive or assumptive.
When I steel a little side look at him, he’s just talking to his dad, his eyes fixed on him.
It’s really hard to concentrate on the conversation I’m trying to have with Lake about the state championship coming up with Drake’s hand there.
It doesn’t leave for the rest of dinner.
When our plates have been relieved of their food, seconds and even a few thirds consumed, everyone lounges around the table, relaxed in their seats, talking about everything and nothing.
Maybe I’m being brave, or maybe I just can’t deny myself it any longer, but my hand ducks under the table and my fingers slide through Drake’s.
I steel another side look at him. He’s talking with Sage and I see him falter for just a moment. A smile that he’s trying really, really hard to suppress pulls at his lips.
“Okay, seriously,” Lake suddenly says. “What is going on with you two? Are you boyfriend, girlfriend again? Did you two secretly elope already? You’re living together or something? What is up?”
All the McCain’s laugh, full-bellied and jovial.
But every eye jumps to Drake and I.
“I think we’ve all been wondering the same thing,” Robin says. She laces her fingers together, her elbows propped on the table, and rests her chin on her hands.
“The suspense is killing me,” Sage says sarcastically.
I can tell my cheeks are blushing red. I look over at Drake and bite my lower lip, holding back an awkward smile.
“We, uh,” Drake stutters as he looks at me. His eyes dance and are the brightest I’ve seen them in a long time. He squeezes my hand under the table. “We haven’t really talked about things yet.”
“Drake’s old room is down the hall, last door on the left,” Robin suddenly says. “I want you two to go in there and don’t come out until you’ve talked things over.”
“Mom,” Drake says with a disbelieving laugh. “We’re adults, we’ll talk when we’re ready.”
“You two were born ready,” she says with a knowing look. “And considering everything that’s transpired I’ve let the two of you living together slide for now, but until you get this set the way it’s supposed to be, it’s gotta stop. Now get out of my kitchen and go figure things out. The pie will be ready when you two get back.”
I look around, embarrassed, to each of Drake’s siblings, and their looks tell me they know she’s dead serious. Lake also looks ready to die of laughter the second we leave.
Drake gives a breathy, harsh laugh. He shakes his head. “Fine. We’ll, uh, we’ll go talk.”
He stands, not letting my hand go, so I stand with him. He starts leading us out of the kitchen.
“They’re holding hands!” Kale teases. “Pretty sure that means something!”
“Oh hush,” Robin chides him, but I can hear the smile in her voice.
Drake leads me down the hall, to the last door on the left. We walk through the door and he closes it behind us.
The room isn’t really a bedroom anymore. There is a twin sized bed pushed against one wall that has a blue and green plaid bedspread on it. But there’s also a desk with a laptop and a ton of papers scattered across it. Above that is a pin board with schedules and plays all over it. There’s a row of filing cabinets along one wall.
“It’s not my bedroom anymore, obviously,” Drake says, letting go of my hand and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Dad uses this as his planning room. I’d call it his office, but he just makes plays in here.”
I nod, feeling completely awkward knowing his entire family is just down the hall waiting to hear the outcome of this forced face to face.
“I’m really sorry about my family,” he says, a lopsided smile forming on his face. “My mom can be a little…direct sometimes.”
“That’s an understatement,” I say with a breathy chuckle. “But it’s okay. I love your mom.”
“Yeah?” he asks, his eyes unsure.
“Yeah,” I say, a smile forming on my face.
He reaches a hand out, caressing my cheek.
“We have needed to talk,” he confesses.
“We have.” My eyes drop to his lips and all I can think about is how I never got to know them quite well enough.
“I kind of just want to make out instead.”
And an explosive laugh erupts from my chest.
Drake’s face breaks into a huge grin and his chest shakes with a laugh. I slap him across the shoulder, covering my mouth with a hand to contain the laugh I have no doubt his family heard.
“Stop it,” I say, my eyes watering I’m laughing so hard. “This is serious.”
“I am serious,” he laughs again. “But you’re right. We do need to talk about things first.”
I bite my lower lip and shake my head at him. He pulls his dad’s office chair from the desk and spins it around so he can sit. I sink onto the bed, pinning my hands between my knees.
“So,” I say, all seriousness back, and now feeling super awkward. I have no idea where to start.
“So,” he says. He looks just as uncomfortable as I do.
I watch him for a long moment, while he studies his hands, which he rubs together.
“This is so simple and so complicated at the same time, isn’t it?” I say finally.
Drake looks up at me. “Yeah. It is.”
“We’re both a little cracked,” I say, lacing my fingers together and squeezing tight. “We’ve both gotten pretty messed up. We both got a pretty hard slap across the face.”
“Yep,” he says. His eyes slide down to his hands again.
“We’ve both grown up a whole lot in the past, what? Seven weeks?”
“Something like that,” Drake says. He laces his fingers together and looks back up at me. “We’re not going to be quite the same people. What we’ve been through, things like that change you.”
I nod. It’s hard to hear, and it hurts, but it’s true.
“But one thing hasn’t changed,” he says and the tenderness in his voice brings my eyes back to his. His eyes are intense and hesitant and open and free and scared and confident. “How I feel about you hasn’t changed, Kaylee Ray.”
I hook my foot under his chair and start pulling him toward me. The smile on his face grows bigger the closer he gets to me.
“Me and you,” I say as he leans forward. His face is only five inches from mine. “It was always me and you. That never changed.”
Drake brings his hand to my face again, pressing his palm to my cheek.
“I love you, Kaylee,” he says quietly, but with absolute surety in his voice.
“I never stopped loving you, Drake.”
We both lean slightly forward, closing that small distance and our lips meet in the middle.
This is home.
This is everything I need and want, right here.
“I’ve been missing this so bad,” Drake says, pressing his forehead to mine and breathing the same air I do.
I bring my hands up to either side of his neck. I take a deep breath, trying to calm back all the emotions I’ve been keeping reigned in for so long. They want to erupt from me all at once.
“Me and you,” I say, opening my eyes to meet his. “We’re together. Always.”
He nods and presses his lips to mine just once. “Forever.”
The word is a promise.
A smile pulls at my lips. “But,” I say, licki
ng my lower lip. “We have to establish a ground rule. So we don’t end up in a mess again.”
“Anything,” he says. I can see the hunger growing in his eyes and he’s not going to like what I’m going to say next.
“No sex,” I say around the tightness in my throat. “That’s what got us into this wreck to start with. So none of it until, well…we’ll see what happens.”
We may be here, we may be together, but I am not to where I can hope we will be back to those promises we made in the parking lot on a night so long ago.
“I know exactly what’s going to happen,” he says with intensity. “But I agree. No sex until then.”
“You’re okay with it?” I ask, my voice unsure. I stare at him, scared and hopeful.
“Yeah,” he says with a chuckle. His hands mirror mine, one on either side of my face. “But seriously, let’s make out now.”
I laugh and pull his lips to mine.
Drake pushes himself out of the chair and presses me back into the bed. His right hand goes to my hip and his own hips press into me. His lips part the same time mine do and our lips move in perfect synchronization. My hand knots in his hair and I grab a fist full of his shirt and pull him closer to me.
Our kisses are rough and tender, existing in the same breaths. Adrenaline ramps up in my system, making All The Places in my body sensitive and excited.
I’m seeing stars and galaxies. I am electric and heavenly.
Drake moves over me, his free hand wrapping around my back, lifting me nearly off the bed and up to mold against him. His hips eagerly dig into mine, yet knowing that is as far as they can go.
“I love you,” I sigh into his mouth.
Drake’s lips drop to my neck, igniting another emotion in me that makes the room spin.
“I’ll never let anything come between us again,” he breathes. “You’re mine forever. Happily ever after.”
“Ever after Drake,” I say as a loopy smile forms on my face. Drake’s lips return to mine.
A knock on the door makes both of us immediately freeze. I am very aware that Drake did not lock the door.
“So, did we figure things out in there yet?” Robin’s voice cuts through the door. “Everyone is ready for pie.”
“Mom!” Drake yells as we climb off each other. “Seriously?”
“The suspense is killing me,” she says. “Even though I know what’s going to happen.”
Drake pulls me to my feet. I smile at the way his hair stands on end and one of his shirt tails is untucked. He’s looking at the door in horror, completely unaware of what I’ve done do him.
“Come on,” I say, slipping my hand into his. “Let’s go make this all official and stuff.”
Drake gives me a lopsided smile as I pull him forward toward the door. I open it and am not one bit surprised when the entire family is standing outside.
“That didn’t take long,” Lake says as he raises an eyebrow when he takes in our disheveled state.
I glance back at Drake, who gives me a perfectly happy smile. “McCain family, I’d like to re-introduce you to Kaylee Ray, my girlfriend.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“Can we go buy a Christmas tree this afternoon?”
Both of us are breathing hard, panting into each other’s throats as Drake holds me pinned up against the shelves in the janitors closet. I’m pretty sure that’s a mop handle that’s working its way between my butt cheeks. Awkward. But I honestly don’t care when Drake’s lips are enlightening my neck like that.
“It’ll have to go to your place,” I say as my fingers knot in his hair. “There is no room at mine.”
“I really don’t like this not living together thing,” he says as his fingers work their way up my skirt, slipping over my thigh.
“We’re having a hard enough time keeping the rule not living together.” My breath catches and my blood surges in my ears as his fingers brush the hem of my panties. I should slap his hand away, but oh how I don’t want to. “Bad things will happen—”
“I think I like bad things,” he growls into my chest. I wore five inch heels today, so he can actually reach certain places on my body.
“But if you’re naughty Santa won’t bring you any presents in two weeks.”
“I’ve already got the best present,” he chuckles. He bites the neckline of my shirt.
My eyes squeeze shut in protest as light suddenly floods the janitor’s closet and sears them. I can only imagine the guilty expressions on our faces when Ben the janitor opens the closet.
“If you’re going to continue using my storage closet as your make out hideaway, maybe you should start hanging a tie on the door knob,” he says with a bored expression. He reaches forward, grabs a roll of towels and a bottle of spray cleaner. He then closes the closet, once again leaving us in the dark.
I melt down in laughter the second he closes the door. One of my arms wraps around my stomach and the other hand covers my mouth.
“We’re so going to get fired,” Drake says, laughing with me as he wraps his arms around my waist. He presses his lips to my cheek.
“So going to get fired,” I confirm as I press one quick kiss to his lips. I take his hand in mine and open the closet just a sliver. I peer out into the hall, checking for signs of life.
“I think we’re clear,” I whisper.
Drake yanks me back, spinning me and once again pressing into my body as his lips devour mine.
“Drake,” I laugh into his lips. “We’re seriously going to get in trouble one of these days.”
“It’s been two weeks since we got back together and only half the school knows,” he says, kissing his way from the base of my ear to my collarbone. “If we don’t do something extreme I fear the other half will never figure it out.”
“Well, I’d like to keep my job,” I say, placing my hands on his chest and giving him a gentle push. It’s too dark to see it, but I can feel the smile I know is on his face.
Before he can tackle me in the dark again, I open the door and walk out. I straighten my skirt and re-button the top button of my shirt. I look over my shoulder at Drake as he follows me out.
His hair is sticking straight out on one side. He buttons up his top three buttons and pulls his vest back on.
I give him a wink and head back for my classroom.
The bell for lunch rings halfway back to my classroom and the halls are flooded with students. With the help of the heels, I’m not completely lost under the crowd. I make it back to my classroom without being trampled.
“Where have you been?”
I’m halfway back to my desk when I jump at the unexpected voice behind me.
I turn to see Hannah standing just inside the door, her arms folded over her chest. She’s trying to look all tough, but there’s a little smile pulling at one corner of her mouth.
“I, uh…” I struggle to come up with something. Obviously I have to lie. I would never tell a student what I’d just been doing during school hours.
“I knew it,” she says, the grin spreading on her face. She takes five steps into the room and sits on top of one of the desks. “I mean, the rumors have been spreading around school like wildfire, but I just knew it. You and Mr. McCain are back together.”
“How do you know it?” I say, folding my arms over my own chest.
“That hickey on your neck is a pretty dead giveaway,” she says as she raises one eyebrow at me.
My hand automatically jumps to my neck. “Oh my gosh,” I gasp in horror. “Are you serious?” I turn and dive for my purse, looking for a compact.
“And from the bright red state of it, I’d say it was given in the last few minutes,” she says smugly. “You two have a secret make out spot in school, don’t you? That’s equal parts disturbing and super romantic.”
“Hannah,” I say, looking up at her and giving her a stern look. I start dabbing the hickey with cover-up. “This isn’t something to glorify. We…” I sigh. “We shouldn’t be doing it at school. W
hat kind of example am I setting?”
“You’re setting me up for unrealistic expectations for when I start teaching down the road.” She steps into the classroom, sinking down into a desk.
“You want to teach someday?” I ask, looking over at her from the tiny mirror. It’s pretty obvious I’m trying to cover something up, but hopefully my hair will hide it well enough.
Hannah nods with a grin on her face. “Weirdly enough, I actually like school. And I like being in charge and having people listen to me. Besides that, you’re pretty much the coolest woman I know, so I figured why not?”
A smile breaks onto my face and an appreciative chuckle bubbles out of my lips.
“She’s also the hottest.”
We both look back to the door to find Drake leaning in the frame.
Hannah gives a little squeal. “I just can’t even stand how adorable you two are.”
Drake and I both laugh.
“Hey, I’ve actually come looking for you,” Drake says to Hannah. “Could I talk to you for a minute?”
Hannah looks back at me, giving me a quizzical look. But she just smiles, gives me a wink, and bounds over to him. Drake flashes me a smile before the two of them leave.
What in the world is he up to?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
It’s been a month and six days since my Mom died. We finally hold a memorial. It’s small. We actually hold it at her work in their conference room. She wasn’t exactly religious, so there’s no church to do it in. But they made a good effort to make the room beautiful. I provided a big framed picture of her. People brought flowers.
Everyone talks about her. Most don’t have a ton to say. My mother wasn’t a saint. She wasn’t super boisterous in the personality department. She hadn’t achieved anything phenomenal. She was normal. Just a woman trying to figure things out, just a woman going through life as best she could.
I’m the first to speak. I tell about my childhood with her. About living with my grandparents for a few years. About cheap ice cream cones from the gas station. About homework that was usually too hard for either of us. I tell about our struggles and how she agreed to change her life. I tell everyone how I loved and still love her.