“My guess is that most men, on a night like tonight, would be joyful. But, in that joy, there’d be a little sadness. Sadness for losing their only daughter. For me, it’s different. There is no sadness, because I didn’t lose a daughter, I gained a son.”
My heart swelled to twice its size. Hearing those words being spoken to the crowd meant the world to me.
He gazed down at the floor, and after a short pause, seemed overcome with emotion. He looked up and raised his glass. “I couldn’t be any prouder. Salute!”
Glasses raised and we took a drink in agreement.
He waved toward the table. “Now, the maid of honor and the best man have something to say.”
Michelle glanced at Terra, smiled, and then looked out at the crowd as she stood. “When Terra told me about Michael, I laughed. I laughed because I knew her father wouldn’t like him. I knew the relationship wouldn’t last, and I knew he couldn’t be as perfect as she’d described him. Well, I was wrong, I was wrong, and I was wrong.
“Terra and I have been friends since we were in kindergarten. We used to talk about boys, and as we grew older, the discussions changed to men. We decided, and it wasn’t that long ago, that all men were assholes, and we’d never meet one who was worth our time.
“Well, I was wrong again. All a person has to do is wait until the right one comes along. And, the right one came along for Terra. I couldn’t be happier for her, for him, or for her family. Salute!”
Again, glasses were raised.
Cap stood. “Fallin’ in love ain’t something we plan, it just happens. When it does, it changes us, and we don’t always see it. When Tripp fell in love with Terra, he didn’t see it, but I did.
“I asked him what was goin’ on. He said nothin’. I asked him what was on his mind. He said nothin’. But something was on his mind, and something had changed. Didn’t take me long to figure it out.
“After I did, I told him I wanted to meet her. You see, ol’ Tripp and me go way back. We’re as close as two men could ever be, and I look at him as a brother, a father, and a son, all wrapped into one. I needed to meet the girl that stole his heart, and find something wrong with her, so I could point it out to him. That way, I could make him see how bad he was fuckin’ up by being with her.”
He looked at Anthony. “Can I say that? ‘Fuckin’ up’?”
Anthony raised his index finger, but Sal answered before Anthony had a chance to speak. “You’re doing fine, Cap.”
Cap grinned. “So anyway, we set up a meeting. I was prepared to pick Terra apart, and point out all her faults to Tripp. Well, after we met, I came up with nothin’. Now that didn’t mean she was perfect, it just meant I hadn’t found anything yet. But I didn’t give up. I kept an eye on her, and paid attention to everything she did, and everything she said.”
He glanced at Terra, shook his head, and then looked at the crowd. “Well, I’m still waitin’ on her to fuck up. I’m thinking that one of these days she will, but she hasn’t yet. When that day comes, I’ll be watching. But, I won’t say anything to Tripp, I’ll just store it in my vault. She keeps my man Tripp on his toes, and she keeps him in line. And, anyone that can keep that man in line deserves recognition for doin’ so.
“I couldn’t be happier with them deciding to get married, because it gives Tripp a reason to keep on livin’ life. And, with a man like a Tripp in our lives, life’s worth livin’. That’s all I got. I’m droppin’ this mic.” He raised his glass. “Salute.”
At that moment, that exact moment, the permanency of everything sank in.
And, my heart swelled with pride.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Terra
As Edwin McCain’s “Walk With You” played, my father and I danced. He and I, alone, gliding across the dancefloor effortlessly and gracefully. It was as if there was no one else in attendance.
It was a moment I was sure I’d cherish for the rest of my life. When the song ended, everyone clapped. A few cheered.
Hand in hand, we walked toward the edge of the dancefloor. Halfway there, “Money Maker” by Ludacris began to play.
I looked at my father. “Dance with me.”
“To this?”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
He turned around, and then spread his feet a little wider. After he lifted the tail of his tuxedo, he began to shake his butt.
I laughed.
“Come on,” he said with a wave of his arms. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
I faced away from him, hiked my butt in the air, and shook my “money maker” with everything I had in me.
As the crowd went wild, my father and I continued, each of us attempting to outdo the other. I must admit, my father had some moves I wasn’t aware of, and looked quite good on the dance floor.
It was the first time since I was an adult that I can say that I truly felt connected to my father. I had no way of knowing if it was something that simply happened because it was my wedding night, if it was a result of what changes we all felt he went through while in jail, or if it was a one-time thing—a fluke.
I expected Cap and Michelle to join in, but they didn’t. They stood on the edge of the floor, in shock, like everyone else.
For the duration of that song, my father wasn’t the mob boss, he wasn’t the godfather, and he wasn’t the man that was often depicted on the news.
He was simply a man who loved his daughter. A man willing to do whatever he must to make sure she understood the extent of that love.
Much to my disappointment, the song eventually ended. Out of breath, and covered in sweat, my father and I shared a laugh. As we walked off the dancefloor I looked around me.
The venue. The people. The floral arrangements. The food. The photo booth, music, drinks, and champagne fountain. No expense had been spared.
Everything was done to please me. To make me feel special.
I reached for his hand.
He paused, and then turned and faced me.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you, too.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
He smiled and opened his arms. “This? This is nothing. You’re my little girl. I wish I could do more.”
There was no more to do.
The night was perfect.
As much as I wanted to begin the next phase of my life, I didn’t want the night to end.
I realized, however, at some point it would.
I would simply have to cherish my memories of that night, and hope no one or nothing ever caused them to diminish.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Michael
Anthony pushed his ledger to the side and reached for his computer’s mouse. After he shook it a few times, he looked up. “So, some wiseass put a video of the rap song on the YouTube,” he said with a laugh. “It counts how many people watch, you know.”
He didn’t sound upset, and I hoped he wasn’t too embarrassed. “It’ll let you relive the memory. It was a great moment.”
He peered over the top of the monitor. “A hundred thousand.”
I suspected he was making a monetary offer to have the video removed. Trace could do it in five minutes, and it wouldn’t cost a dime.
My eyes widened. “Excuse me?”
“People.” He shook his head. “A hundred thousand people watched the video.”
“What? Since Saturday?”
He nodded. “I’m a celebrity. Maybe it’s Terra. I don’t know.”
He pushed the mouse to the side and grinned. “I had a good time.”
“We all did. It was a wonderful celebration.”
“So, you leave Friday? For the honeymoon?”
“Leaving the hot weather to go somewhere that has warm weather.”
“Warm?”
“It’s about eighty degrees year-round.”
“It’s a hundred and fucking one outside,” he said. “It’s June. I hate this state in the summer.”
“So do I.”
“The Belize. It sounds nice.”
“It is.”
“I’ll have to go sometime,” he said. “I’d like to see it.”
“Words can’t describe it.”
He reached under the desk, and produced a box a little larger than a shoe box. Then, he pushed it across the desk. “The books are done on the gun deal. This is your cut.”
I opened the box. Twelve stacks of hundreds, a little over eight inches high, filled the box. Slightly shocked, I closed the lid and looked at him. “Seems a little heavy.”
He shrugged. “The family takes 15 percent of margin. The margin on that job was three million thanks to Cap. The machines? That was genius. That leaves $2,550,000. The capo gets paid out of the family’s cut. The rest? It’s yours. Your business, your money.”
I hadn’t given it much thought. The figures he explained were the same figures we used for anyone we provided protection to. Regardless how I looked at it, $2,550,000 was an ungodly amount of money, especially considering that I did nothing to put the deal together or implement the plan to manufacture the weapons.
I pushed the box to the side. “Can I pay Cap a bonus out of my cut?”
He shrugged. “You can do whatever you feel is necessary. Some business owners, they show their appreciation by paying the capo under the table. It’s allowed.”
I never thought I’d reach a point that money didn’t matter, but it seemed to matter much less after Terra and I were married. Anthony, much to my surprise, had given each of us a new car as a wedding gift. Me, a BMW, and Terra a new Mercedes-Benz. Many of the other gifts we’d received were money, and my safe was currently filled with so much cash that I was going to have to find another place to put the two and a half million dollars.
“I’ll take care of him, then. He did a great job on the transaction.”
“I agree.
“Tell me about the island,” he said. “Where you bought the land.”
I relaxed into the chair and thought of the parcel of land that I had purchased. It felt strange knowing that although I still intended to build a home there, that I would never actually live on the island.
It would simply be a place that we visited when we were able.
My dream of retiring wasn’t going to happen, as no one retired from the family. The oath of Omertà never expired, nor did the responsibilities of a family member.
“It’s one of the many remote islands a few miles from the main island. If there ever was a paradise, this is it. If you can imagine any of the pictures you’ve seen of Hawaii, it’s similar, only more remote, far more beautiful, and the water is as clear as drinking water. Although the temperature is only eighty, the sun will bake you to a golden brown in a matter of minutes. It’s a remarkable place.”
He smiled, and nodded.
“Maybe next year, we can go there on a vacation.”
“That would be nice,” I said. “I’m sure you’d love it.”
“I don’t take enough time for my wife.” He looked around the room, and then shook his head. “It’s never been easy for me to walk away from my work. Now? Now that I’ve spent the time in jail? I see things differently. I need to take the time for my wife. Our time. It’s limited. We don’t live forever.”
“We sure don’t.”
“Do you like the car? Have you driven it yet?”
“I’m driving it now.”
“They had to order the black. You ask me? Cars should come in one color. Black. So many people, they want the red, or the blue. I wonder. Why? Black is the best.”
“It’s gorgeous, thank you.”
He waved at me. “It’s a car. I hope you enjoy them.”
“Terra loves hers, that’s for sure.”
“Which one is faster?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“You should race them and see. The man at the Mercedes? He says the Mercedes. The man at the BMW? He says the BMW. You can’t trust the car salesman. If their mouth moves, a lie comes out.”
I let out a laugh. I felt the same way. “Agreed.”
“Race, and let me know. I need to buy my wife a new car. Not a Cadillac. Something fun. And black.”
“I’ll see if Terra’s up to it.”
He leaned forward, rested his forearms against the edge of the desk, and grinned. “So, in the car. The sex.”
My face went flush. I hoped it would never come up. I swallowed hard. “Yes, sir.”
“Are you ready for the children? Prepared to be a father?”
I hadn’t given it much thought, but really didn’t need to. In my mind, children would come, and when they did, I’d give everything I had to be the best father I could be. My time at work would diminish greatly, and my time with the children would be my primary focus. It probably wasn’t what Anthony wanted to hear, but it was what I felt was necessary to raise a child properly.
“I am. When that time comes, the hours I devote to work are going to diminish greatly.”
“They should,” he said. “When my children were young, I didn’t spend the time with them. I regret it now. But the clock, it doesn’t go backward.”
“It sure doesn’t.”
“We have one chance to raise them. And, we can’t go back and make changes once we’ve made the mistake. My only regret? The work. I wish I could do it over.”
Hearing him say it was comforting. I expected a speech on how I would be expected to provide for the family, regardless. I wondered if things were different in his mind now, as compared to before he spent the time in jail.
“So far, I don’t want to do anything over that’s happened in my life. I think all my experiences make me who I am. No regrets,” I said. “That’s been my mantra to date.”
“Wait till you have the children,” he said. “Raise them without spending time with them. You’ll have the regrets.”
I reached for the box of money and stood. I’d spent my entire adult life immersed in my profession, whatever it was. I could only hope that when the time came, I’d be able to separate myself from my work, and devote an adequate amount of time to my children.
“Let’s hope that day never comes,” I said.
“Let’s hope.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Terra
“What’s it like?” Michelle asked.
I sorted the last of the silverware, closed the dishwasher door, and turned toward her. “It’s only been two weeks, but it’s kind of what I expected. I mean, nothing’s changed, but I feel kind of different.”
“Different how?”
“Just different.”
“Different when you drive that new fuckin’ Benz?”
I glared at her. “It was a wedding gift. Stop being mean. It’s just like my old car.”
“It’s an S63 AMG. It’s nothing like your old car.”
“It’s pretty close.”
Her eyes narrowed and she shot me a look. “Whatever.”
“Anyway. It’s nice.”
“The car?”
“No. Being married.”
“Nice, how?”
“You know, knowing that we’re committed to each other, and that we’re going to spend our lives together.”
I thought about it, and then continued. “But, there’s not much that’s different. Not really. I mean, we lived together, and we still live together. He was faithful then, and he’s faithful now. I guess it’s just knowing versus wondering.”
She sat at one of the barstools. “So, peace of mind?” br />
“I’d say so.”
“So, you’re saying if you trust your partner, there’s really no reason to get married?”
“No. That’s not what I said. Not at all.”
“You said there’s almost no difference in your life. Knowing versus wondering. That’s what you said, Tee.”
I let out a sigh. She was right, I said it, but it wasn’t going to remain like this forever. There were going to be differences. Big differences. They just hadn’t happened yet. One day we’d have a family of our own, and Michael would play ball with the boys and I’d play dress-up with the girls. Life, for us, was going to change.
“You took it wrong. There’s not much that’s different today, but it will be different.”
“Oh really?” she asked, her tone thick with sarcasm. “When?”
I sat down beside her. “When we have kids.”
“Besides having kids, what’ll change?”
“Everything.”
“Michael will still be in the mob, and he’ll still work twenty hours a day. It won’t change. I’ve just accepted that if one day Cap and I end up married, life will be exactly the way it is now.”
I felt like she was attacking me for no reason, and further, that her opinions weren’t accurate or fact-based.
“Why are you attacking me?” I asked. “And Michael?”
“I’m not,” she said in a dismissive tone.
“You said he’d keep working just the same as he does now. You’re trying to make me mad, and you know it. I just don’t know why.”
“I’m not trying to make you mad. It’s just that... I don’t know. Maybe I’m disappointed that you’re married and I’m not. You’ve always had what I wanted. Ever since we were kids. You got it first. Your things were always bigger. Better—”
“You want me to hate it so you don’t feel bad about not having it?”
She laughed. “Yeah. Something like that.”
“I have no idea how we’ve stayed friends for so long,” I said with a laugh. “You’re a mess.”
“A sexy mess.”