“Anyway, I’m too busy. Maybe I should give up on the idea of settling down with anyone. I can buy one of those boyfriend pillows instead. I have a vibrator. It’s not like I don’t know how to take care of business when there’re no penises around.”
Stacey nearly choked on her coffee.
“I think it’s fair to make him come clean. That way you both go forward with a clean slate. Why don’t you see where this goes before swearing off men in favor of silicone and pillows first?”
Kelly wiped a fingerprint off the display case that surrounded a nifty point-of-sale hub that was all discreetly out of the line of customer sight.
“He says he wants to be a daily help with the girls. I have to admit, I sort of expected him to mess up today. I slept in Maddie’s room last night. Got up early to exercise and by the time I’d finished, showered and dressed, he was up, coffee was brewing. He got Kensey up at seven, though I thought I’d lose him a time or two.” Kelly laughed.
“That child is an absolute bear in the morning. She’s slept over at his house many times over. How is he just figuring this out?” Stacey asked.
“He’s been vacation dad. You know? At Daddy’s house they get up when they want. They go to bed when they want. He lets them eat too much crap and he hates to say no.”
“That’s going to be a cold hard slap in the face.” Stacey grinned as she said it. “Man, that puts a spring in my step.”
Kelly couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “He has it so easy. Shurley does everything for him.”
“You said I wasn’t fair because I called him a man-boy who lived with his mom!”
“He has his own house!” Kelly protested.
“Which can be seen by standing on the front porch of his mom’s house.”
“You’re going to make me pee my pants if I can’t stop laughing.” Michael and Sharon’s house sat at the highest point of the ranch, on a rise. They could probably see lots of houses from there.
Kelly continued, “Back to my point. He’s never had to manage their schedule. Never had to wake them up for school and get them there on time. This is going to be a challenge for him.”
And for her. Because she wasn’t going to believe anything he said until she saw him living his words.
“He’s good with them. They like being around him. That’s a big step right there. We’ll just see what happens next.” She’d left a detailed list for Vaughan to refer to during the day. What time Maddie needed medication, how much to give her. What she could eat and drink and where it could be found. Numbers for everyone important.
She planned to leave at her usual time to be home for the school bus arrival. Hopefully Vaughan would be okay in the time between now and then.
“I have to run now to make court, but I want you to keep me updated on what’s happening with you. I told Maddie I’d stop by later on. I was planning on bringing lunch, though hers was going to be pudding. I’ll work that out with Vaughan, though, so don’t worry.”
Kelly tried not to but it was hard.
Stacey sighed. “You look like you have to poop. Stop. Maddie is old enough and recovered enough that she won’t need a lot from him. As long as he watches movies with her and lets her tell him all the facts in the world about Pokémon he’ll be fine.”
“I know. He’s had them on his own lots of times.” Stacey knew this, but it felt better for Kelly to repeat the words. To remind herself.
Stacey hugged her on the way out and then the first customer came in, and the day got started and kept her so busy she didn’t have much of a chance to worry until her afternoon employee showed up to take over.
It had been a way to be present at the store and still home to pick the girls up from school several years ago and she had kept it up ever since. She knew how lucky she was to have the luxury to do it. Kami, her business partner, had a two-year-old and they’d both wanted to keep their business as family friendly as possible.
She came into the house and stopped to watch Vaughan and Maddie tucked up on the couch, watching a movie. They looked so much alike it always punched her in the gut.
His hair was messy and he smiled sleepily Kelly’s way and a deep, craven greed to touch him bloomed. “Hey.”
“Afternoon.” Kelly put her things down and moved to check Maddie, kissing her forehead and then testing it for fever. “How’re you feeling, bug?”
“I had pudding and it was very good.”
“Pudding makes every day a great day. I totally agree.”
Maddie laughed.
“You can have some soup tonight for dinner. And some toast.”
“Party!” Vaughan joked before he got off the couch and stretched. The hem of his worn T-shirt rose, exposing hard, muscled abs, defined at his hip bones. She had stretch marks and he had an eight-pack. Figured.
“Why don’t I go pick Kensey up from the bus stop and you can stay here with Maddie?” Vaughan offered and it took Kelly a second to hear it all because of the roar of white noise at the sight of that damned belly of his.
“That works. You need to change, though.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Because you show up to the bus stop looking like that and the other mothers are going to eat you up. We’ll never see you again.”
He paused, a smirk on his lips for a brief moment. “Too bad I already have all the women I want or need.”
Have? Puhleeze. If he wanted to have her, he had a lot of work to do to make that happen.
Vaughan jogged off to change.
“I’ll be right back, bug.” She had work clothes on, which were gorgeous and expensive, and what she wanted was something casual, loose and not a disaster if it got ripped, stained or otherwise ruined.
The hallway near her bedroom smelled like him. The guest room was down at her end of the house. It had taken her a long time to get over her sheets not smelling like him anymore and this felt very similar.
By the time she’d returned downstairs she realized her house had started to change. Just a little bit. A guitar case was casually leaned against the back of the couch, in a corner. His ebook reader was on the side table near the couch.
This was disquieting. Because she liked it so much and she shouldn’t. Not until he’d done a lot more work.
Vaughan headed out and Kelly tucked onto the couch next to Maddie. “I missed you today. How are you feeling?”
“Auntie Stacey came over with pudding. She brought Daddy a sandwich and some chips, too. That was very nice. I like it that he’s here. He watched Brave with me. Twice. Isn’t that nice?”
Their daughter sounded as if she were making a pitch for a puppy. Only Vaughan was way more trouble and there was no doubt Kelly would have to do all the care and cleaning.
“It is nice.” It was also what parents were supposed to do so she wasn’t that inclined to give him a gold star for it.
Vaughan came back shortly, an excited Kensey chattering endlessly about her day. He had a slightly dazed look on his face that Kelly could totally identify with. Their youngest only stopped talking long enough to eat, drink and sleep.
She gave Kelly and Maddie kisses and told them about her day as she handed over a packet of homework for Maddie to do that week.
“Your teacher left this for you in the attendance office and I got called in! Over the loudspeaker and everything.”
“Uh-oh. Did you think you were in trouble?” Vaughan asked.
Kensey’s eyes went big as saucers as she nodded excitedly. “But I didn’t do anything so I was worried someone told a lie on me. But it was just all this homework for Maddie.”
“Did you make up a good story about why you got called in to the office?”
“No. I said it was for my sister who got her appendix out. Making up stories when it’s not for a book is bad, Dadd
y.”
Vaughan tried not to smile so Kelly tried not to sigh wistfully. There were few things sexier than a man being a good dad.
“You’re totally right.” Vaughan kissed the top of her head as he made his way to the couch. “What are our plans for the evening, ladies?” Vaughan asked, tucking in on Kelly’s other side without even a by-your-leave.
“Kensey has reading to do.” Kelly looked through the stuff for Maddie. “You can do all this homework in your sleep, bug. If you do one piece every day, you can enjoy the weekend and still be ready for school Monday.”
“I think if you have to get cut open you should get a pass for all homework while you’re out sick,” Maddie declared.
“Thinking is good for you.” Kelly smiled when Kensey wormed her way between Kelly and Vaughan.
“I have to do homework. You should, too. Aaron Bertis asked about you today,” Kensey explained to her sister, eyes wide. “He said to tell you he said hi.”
“Who’s Aaron Bertis?” Vaughan asked.
“He’s Maddie’s boyfriend.”
Maddie squealed, “No, he is not! He’s a boy in my class. He’s nice and his hair is perfect.” She looked to her dad. “Like, as nice as yours. But he’s not my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend? No way.” Vaughan’s features hardened and Kelly snorted a laugh.
“He does have great hair genes, but she knows the rules. She’s only in fifth grade.” Kelly winked at Maddie, who blushed so hard. “If he still has perfect hair and an interest when she’s fifteen, we’ll talk.”
“Fifteen?” Vaughan’s voice cracked. “That’s too early!”
“When did you have your first girlfriend, Vaughan?” Kelly asked, pretending to be innocent.
He blushed. “That was different.”
“Why, Daddy?” Maddie asked.
Kelly nodded. “Yes, why is that?”
He frowned at her and she still didn’t laugh, though she wanted to.
“I think seventeen is better.”
Both girls started to argue and Kelly got up, leaving them to it. His reason was that he was a boy and their daughters weren’t. He deserved to be pecked by two little girls over that logic.
Her phone rang and when she saw who it was she sighed. “Vaughan? I need to take this. I’ll be back in a few.”
Concern lit his eyes but he nodded.
* * *
SHE STEELED HERSELF and answered, heading down the hall and outside. She did her best to shield the girls from their maternal grandmother.
“It’s been weeks since you’ve called me last.” Rebecca complained without bothering to say hello.
“Been a little busy. What’s up?”
“You need to let your employees know I’m your mother and deserve a discount at your Manhattan store.”
“We’ve talked about this before. Is this what you called about?” Rebecca believed Kelly owed her a piece of everything she had. And to keep her satisfied—and on the other side of the country—Kelly kept her mother’s bank account full and sent clothes to the house in the Hamptons she’d bought her mother before she’d even turned eighteen.
“I was in the neighborhood!”
“I’ve told you before, you’re not allowed inside the store. You won’t get a discount. You won’t get anything. I send you all the stuff you’d like and that will fit you. Leave my employees alone.”
Kami must not have been at work when Rebecca stopped by. Her business partner and friend loathed Kelly’s mother and had zero issue with saying so straight to Rebecca’s face.
“Just for once you could take my side. But you tossed all my advice when you moved to Oregon and started popping out babies instead of making all your money while you were still young and beautiful. Now look at you. Over thirty, twenty pounds fatter than you were. Couldn’t keep your cash ticket and divorced him. You don’t know what it takes to survive.”
It did no good to engage and yet, Kelly found herself at the end of her rope and the words came anyway. “Yes, look at me. Gosh, it must have sucked for you when your cash cow decided to be an actual parent. However do you survive me supporting you since I was fourteen? Your bills are paid, stop crying about it.”
“I can’t believe the way you talk to me.”
If only it drove her away. “I’m hanging up now. Stay away from the store or I’ll let Kami get a restraining order.”
Her mother didn’t comment on that, but she wasn’t done. “Your employee told me your daughter was sick. I said I had no idea as you didn’t bother to inform me.”
“I don’t know why I would bother to tell you. Also, nice that you bitched at me for ten minutes and didn’t ask after her until now. Even when you comment it’s about you and your feelings. Why are you really calling me?”
“I hope your daughters are more grateful than mine.”
Kelly sure hoped so as she was working to be a better mother than she had. “Have a nice night, Rebecca. I have things to do.”
Kelly hung up and turned her phone off. There would be at least a call back or a text and she didn’t want to deal with either just then. Or ever.
CHAPTER EIGHT
VAUGHAN TUCKED MADDIE IN, kissing her forehead. “Night, baby.”
“Night, Daddy. I love you.”
That his daughters loved him was the finest thing he had.
“I love you, too. Sweet dreams.”
Kelly was leaving Kensey’s room as he went in. They’d never had this unified parenting. It seemed to fill him up and yet he craved more and more.
The whole day had been a lesson.
He said his good-night, his love yous and gave several kisses and hugs. When he ended up out in the hall again, he wore a goofy smile.
Vaughan could have gone to his room. But he wasn’t sleepy. Tired, yes, sleepy, not at all.
Following the sound, he headed down to the kitchen where Kelly had just been checking the door to the garage.
“Just my nightly lockup.” She smiled and he wanted to kiss her so badly he licked his lips, trying to remember her taste.
“Are you going to bed right now? Want to hang out with me awhile?”
She watched him with careful eyes but everything was all right when she nodded. “Sure. I’ve got beer if you want. I’m having a glass of wine, but if I remember correctly, you like beer better.”
She grabbed a bottle of white wine she’d had chilling and a glass.
He followed her back upstairs, a beer between his fingertips. “You offered me wine last night.”
“I did. I wasn’t inclined to give you any other options then. I’m feeling nicer now.” She opened her bedroom door, looking back over her shoulder, saying softly, “Don’t ruin it.”
He’d ruined it eight years before. That hung between them. And, he supposed, it should have until he dealt with it. Being an adult sucked sometimes.
Then again. The scent of her hit him as they settled. This was her space. Soft bedding in blues and grays. The chairs they sat on in her room were a silvery purple. Framed pictures of the girls, some nature shots, a few of Kelly with friends dotted the walls and shelves.
The rugs on the floor were lush. Feminine. Not even a trace of Ross here.
Instead of starting slow, Vaughan found himself blurting out, “Did you really want to marry him?”
Kelly shrugged, tucking her feet beneath her. “Doesn’t matter now. It’s over.”
“You don’t even have his picture in here.”
“I had one of the two of us together on my dresser over there. I put it away when I gathered all his things to return to him. Why do you care so much?” Even with her gaze narrowed, the pretty sky blue of her eyes still made his heart beat faster.
“You know why.”
She flipp
ed him off.
“What’s that for?”
“You come into my house with all this talk about how you want this or that. How you’re sorry for a lot. But you can’t even come out and say what you want so why should I give it to you? I don’t really care if you don’t like getting flipped off. Be honest or get the fuck out of my bedroom.”
This Kelly wasn’t one he knew how to get around. And...it made him want her even more. This Kelly was pissed off and wanted some groveling. Maybe a lot, given the gleam in her eye.
She deserved all she was asking for and more.
“I care because it makes me jealous. I don’t want you to love anyone else. Or marry anyone else. I don’t want my daughters to be raised by another man they call Dad.”
She lifted her glass and took a sip. “See? How hard was that?”
He frowned. “Hard! It’s not easy admitting stuff like that.”
One of her brows rose slowly. “Really? Gosh, I have no idea about such things.”
He sighed. “All I can say for totally sure is that I fucked up. Okay? I did and I know it and now I’m old enough to really see it. You never had any reason to doubt my commitment.”
“I’m about two seconds from throwing this wine in your face. So adjust your speech accordingly.”
Wow. He shifted, uncomfortable but also half-hard. “I never loved anyone else.” Even to that moment, it had only been Kelly.
“And yet, it didn’t stop you from letting a stranger give you a hand job after a show when you had me.”
And there it was.
But she wasn’t done. “You. Had. Me. I was there, Vaughan. Pregnant, exhausted but there because you asked me to be. And I wasn’t enough. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Madeline wasn’t enough. Kensey wasn’t enough. None of us was enough and I could see in your eyes that you wanted me to know it.”
Each word she gave him sliced deep. He wanted to turn away, wanted to deny and protest that she misunderstood. But she laid herself bare for him and it seemed like more betrayal to disrespect that with lies.