"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Obviously," I said, making a downward motion over my torso with both hands. Not a scratch on me, and I was looking mighty fine with my eleven billion mismatched layers.
I picked up my burrito and took a bite.
"This is serious, Rory. I need to know you'll be okay."
I stopped chewing. "Why?" I asked, my voice muffled by the pound of food in my face.
Cy picked at his grass, moving it around on the bottom of the bowl. He poured the entire cup of vinegar over the green leaves, letting them swim around for a while. "Rory...tell me something you've never told anyone."
"Why?"
"Because I asked you to."
"That's weird."
"You're weird."
"So are you."
"Exactly," he said in a flat voice. "Tell me about what you've buried."
"This conversation has taken an awkward turn, like, before it even started."
"There's a point."
"Okay, so you go first."
Cy took a bite, thinking while he chewed, and then put down his fork the moment he swallowed. "Okay. I believe in fate."
"Lame." My response came automatically even though I was a devout disciple of fate. I needed to believe that what had happened to my parents and Sydney happened for a reason. I needed to believe that they were taken, and I was spared to fulfill some purpose, that the universe needed to leave me here, emotionally crippled and alone in my pain. And as crazy as it sounded, I believed Cy played a part somehow.
"I have a reason to believe. I believe you came here, where Dr. Z was, and that we met for a reason."
I liked this weird conversation. Finally, someone sounded as crazy as me. "Why?"
"Your turn."
"I'm really a lizard," I said, sticking out my tongue and pulling it back in quickly.
"Very funny."
I took another bite of burrito and pointed to my mouth, signaling that I couldn't speak.
Cy seemed frustrated. "Okay, we'll try this another way. Why do you always put yourself in danger?"
"I don't."
"Walking alone in the dark. Antagonizing men with a history of violence against women. Driving so fast that you wrecked your car, which is why you've been a pedestrian for the last twenty months. Walking out too far in an angry sea. Frequenting the dangerous side of town--alone, at night--for absolutely no reason. Getting on the back of a motorcycle with a complete stranger, who was clearly drunk. That's not even half of it."
I squirmed in my chair. Some of those things happened before I knew Cy. Even more happened in high school the six months after my parents died. All of them, no one knew about, not even Dr. Z.
Cy put his elbows on the table. "Spending so much time with Benji Reynolds?"
The last sentence nearly caused me to choke on the bite of burrito in my mouth. I swallowed. "Benji? He's harmless."
"What do you know about him?"
"What do I know about Benji? Not as much as you know about me. How in the hell do you know all of that?"
"Just answer the question."
"You first," I snapped.
"I'm thorough. What you should be asking is how I could learn all of that about you but have to ask what you know about Benji. He has no records. There is nothing available on him or his family anywhere, not even a birth certificate. I couldn't even access his school records at KIT."
"Are you hacking into the school's mainframe?"
"That's not important. You have to stay away from him, Rory. Something doesn't add up."
"You've got that right."
Cy lowered his voice. "You can't trust him. Think about it. A wealthy, preppy kid follows the campus recluse like a lovesick puppy? Have you ever asked yourself why?"
"Are you saying I'm not good enough for him?"
"Of course not."
"Because he's lonely, Cy. He doesn't belong, and neither do I. That's all it is."
"He doesn't belong? He's athletic, personable, and approachable. The women at this school fawn all over him. He could literally have his pick. He chose you and only you. He refuses to even acknowledge anyone else. You're far from naive, Rory. Does none of that strike you as odd?"
I began to feel sick in the pit of my stomach, and my breakfast threatened to come up. "Stop."
"You can sense danger, Rory. You couldn't have missed this. Benji wants to gain access to Dr. Zorba's lab. That is his final objective."
I laughed once. "That's ridiculous. I thought I was paranoid."
Cy reached his hand across the table. "How many times has he asked to accompany you to the lab?"
I put down my fork. "Stop it, Cy. Right now."
"I'm worried. I can't protect you much longer."
"I don't need protection. You're kind of pissing me off right now."
"I can live with that. I can't live with knowing that I'm leaving you here to fall into a tailspin until you wind up like your parents."
"You're not making any sense, and by the way, fuck you." I took another bite of burrito for show because I definitely wasn't hungry anymore.
Cy sat back, huffing in frustration and looking around the room. After a few moments, he let his shoulders fall, and he leaned in again. "Promise me, Rory. Promise me, you'll stop tempting fate. I can make a promise to you. You have a beating heart. You have blood running through your veins. No matter what you may think, I assure you, you can die. And you will, if you continue on this course of self-destruction."
I raised my eyebrows. "It sounds so sexy when you say it." Although I was skilled at masking my feelings, everything Cy was saying was freaking me the hell out. How does he know those things about me? Why is he so suspicious of Benji? Is he a stalker? Is he Majestic?
The hand Cy had reached across the table was now a fist, and he pounded it on the table. "Why won't you let me get through to you?"
I leaned forward, whispering forceful words, "Because you're not saying anything! As usual, when you're not being vague, you're asking questions!"
"I have no choice," he said, a defeated tone in his voice.
"But you expect me to. Oh, the irony."
He sighed, holding his hand out again. "Please. What if I say please? Stay away from precarious situations and people you know nothing about."
"Like you?"
Recognition lit Cyrus's eyes.
"I know more about Benji than I know about you," I said, shooting him an accusatory look.
"The difference is that I actually care about you. I'm not your friend to gain an objective. But I can't help you if you won't help yourself. I have no choice and even less time." He turned to the waitress, and with a hand gesture, he asked for the check.
I hoped he was spouting so much nonsense because he was jealous, but deep down, I knew it was something more.
"Do you ever get tired of speaking in riddles?"
Cy watched the waitress make her way to our table. "I admit, it's frustrating trying to help someone when you can't explain your motives. My sincere apologies. This isn't the way I wanted this to go."
"We're leaving?"
"Yes."
"Okay." I realized that whatever this meal was, we'd both just ruined it, and it was time to let my guard down. "You win. I'm sorry. What do you want to know?"
"Everything," Cy said, pulling out a fifty-dollar bill. He threw it on the table and then stood. "Unfortunately, our time has run out. We have a full day and night's work ahead of us, Rory. We must go now."
"Why is this so important to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"The rock belongs to Dr. Z. You act as if it's yours."
Cy laughed once and shook his head. "No. I know it's not mine. That's ridiculous."
"Are you trying to take the assistant spot from me?"
Cy's expression morphed from irritation to surprise to sadness. "No. No, of course not. You deserve the spot, Rory. And Dr. Zorba cares very much for you."
"Then, why do you work so hard?"
> Cy sat without offering a response, and I knew exactly why. He didn't lie. He also didn't want to tell me the truth, but I knew what I wanted him to say. Despite every wall I'd formed over the last few years, despite everything I had tried so hard to become, and despite the feelings I was beginning to have for Benji, I wanted Cy to say it was because of me. That him joining a class that he clearly didn't need, the research assistant job, and all this time we were putting into recording the data wasn't because of some fabled government agency or an alien rock, but that it was all for me.
I needed the weird feelings I had for Cy to make sense, and the explanation I kept coming back to was that I was kept on this earth for a purpose, and Cy would somehow connect the dots.
I decided to be brave, and I reached for Cy's fingers, feeling the warmth of them between my own. Cy squirmed, but he didn't pull away.
"Tell me what your connection is to the research," I said. "Why is it so important to you?"
"It's my fault Dr. Zorba carries this burden," he said quietly. "Please, Rory. We really should hurry."
It might be irrational for me to want Cy to give me some answer from the cosmos, but he was keeping something from me, and it was pissing me off.
"What do you mean, it's a burden?"
He shook his head.
"What if I don't want to go back to the lab? What if I decide to stay here until you start giving me real answers?" I crossed my arms across my stomach. Childish, but this was the weirdest, creepiest, most intriguing conversation I'd ever had. After hearing Cy recount things no one else knew about me, I knew most people would have called the police to report a stalker or at the very least run away, but I guessed Cy was right. I was attracted to risk.
"I can't do this without you, Rory. And I wouldn't want to, even if I could."
And I was attracted to him.
Cyrus took my arm and escorted me from the cafe quickly. It was then that I saw Benji's orange Mustang pull around the corner and park in the back of the cafe.
"What is he doing here? He's supposed to be with his family."
"Odd, isn't it?" He continued to keep his hand on my arm and pull me away from the cafe.
"Is that why you were in such a hurry to leave? Did you know he was coming?" I asked as we walked. "How do you know all these things?"
"I just do," he said, taking my backpack and swinging it over his shoulder. "Need anything else? It's going to be a long day."
I felt for my cell phone in my back pocket, wondering if I should text Benji. "Maybe we can order pizza later, and you can actually answer my questions."
Cy made a face.
"Just kidding...about the pizza."
When we arrived back on campus, Benji was already on the front steps of the Fitz, waiting for me.
Cy glared at him as he passed. Benji wasn't fazed.
"Hey," I said, stopping next to him. Cy continued to the door, and held it open, waiting for me. "What are you doing here?"
"I had to see you," he said, glancing quickly at Cy.
"Benji," I said, smiling nervously, "what's going on? Is there something you're not telling me?"
He held out a small white bag--Gigi's takeout.
I smiled. "I thought you'd be on your way home by now."
"Change of plans."
"Your family decided not to get together for Thanksgiving?" I said as my eyebrows pinched together.
"They called before I got halfway home. Dad was called in to work. My sister works for the same company, so she had to go in, too. Mom wanted to go to her parents'. I wanted to see you."
"Oh. Well," I said, looking down at the sack, "I already had breakfast. But I'll be working all day, so I can eat it later. Thank you."
Benji handed over the sack but seemed tense. "I don't suppose I can talk you into spending Thanksgiving with me? Surely, Dr. Zorba will give you today off."
I looked to Cy, who was fuming. Something was definitely up, and it was pissing me off that I seemed to be the only one who didn't know what it was. "I already said I'd work. I can't back out now."
"Oh. Okay. Well...will you call me before dinner tonight? Maybe we can hang out for a little bit while you're on a break."
"No breaks tonight. We have to finish."
"Why?"
"We just do."
He chuckled nervously. "You have to take a dinner break. Call me by seven, okay?" He was smiling, but he couldn't hide the worry in his eyes.
"I'll probably just grab something out of the vending machine. I have to go. I'm sorry."
His welcoming smile quickly faded, and he called after me, "Call me before seven, Rory, okay?"
"I'll try," I called back, following Cy into the Fitz.
"Did he want to come in?" Cy asked, annoyed.
"No, he did not."
This time, Cy and I sat side by side, working furiously, simultaneously recording data and encrypting the files, saving them on two separate flash drives. Our hands brushed more than once, and although Cy seemed not to notice, I certainly did. Every. Damn. Time.
Finally, I broke the silence. "Are you going to explain how you know all those things about me?"
"No," he said quickly, still typing. He didn't skip a beat.
"Anyone else would be freaked out."
"You're not just anyone. You of all people should know that."
He kept typing, but I paused. As much as I wanted to turn around and force the issue, we had a pile of work, so we continued.
Our faces were so close when we took turns viewing the specimen under the microscope. It was getting close to dinnertime, and I thought about Benji. He wanted me to call by seven.
I decided that shooting him a text would be less likely to start another argument with Cy.
Hey.
Hey! :) How's it going? Close to the finish line?
No. Not even close.
I'm going to pick you up at 7 for dinner.
No, you're really not.
C'mon. I'm going to make you a mini Thanksgiving dinner. With a table and everything.
I have to work.
I'll be outside at seven. Won't take no for an answer.
You're being a little weird.
I just want to have Thanksgiving dinner with you. NBD.
Does it have to be 7?
Yes.
That's weird.
Just trust me, ok? It's a surprise.
I'll see what I can do.
:)
At six o'clock, I hopped off my stool and stretched.
"You must be starving. Why don't you pop out for some fresh air and enjoy the Gigi's takeout Benji brought you?" Cy asked.
"Do you want anything?"
"I brought my own."
"Oh, yeah? Let me see."
Cy laughed once and shook his head. "No. I'll never hear the end of it."
"I want to see," I said, picking his messenger bag off the floor. It was oddly shaped, much bigger than usual. "That's a big lunchbox. What do you have in there? Thanksgiving dinner?"
"Rory, please don't," he said, holding out his hand. He was suddenly serious.
I opened it with a teasing smile and pulled out a hexagonal container. It was empty. "What is this?" I said, frowning at Cy.
He sighed. "It's for the specimen."
"The rock? You're taking it to Dr. Z?"
"No, I'm taking it back."
"To Antarctica?" I said in disbelief.
"No."
I waited, but he offered no more. "Then, wh--"
"Don't ask me, Rory. I can't tell you."
I felt my entire body pull inward. The answer was right in front of me, but I still didn't want to believe it. "You're stealing it from him?"
"I...yes," he said, sounding defeated. "Technically, I suppose I am."
"But...do you..." Tears of betrayal swam in my eyes. "Cyrus. Do you...do you work for Majestic?"
He winced at the way I said his name. "Absolutely not. I'm trying to keep it from them, Rory. The only safe place there is."
"But...why did you let him keep it all this time just to take it away?"
Cy let out the breath he'd been holding. "Because I needed to know what he was capable of learning from it," he said quickly, as if he'd been keeping the words in for far too long.
After a long pause, I let out a faltering breath. "Who are you?"
"A friend. Please trust me, Rory. You cannot tell him. He is safer this way. Do you understand?"
"And what about the data?"
"Once he forms a hypothesis, it will be destroyed."
"By you?"
"No."
"By someone else. Someone you work with. So...you're leaving?"
"Yes."
His answer was devastating. I felt like the air had been knocked out of me. "Are you coming back?"
Cy waited for a moment, scanning my face. He stood and touched my arms. "No. And I'll miss you very much."
I needed time to think without Cy sitting across from me. I picked up my bag and pulled out my wallet. Unzipping it slowly, I removed a five-dollar bill. "I'm going to the vending machine."
Cy took a step toward me. "Will you tell him?"
"You're asking me to lie?"
"I'm asking you to trust me."
I thought about so much in that moment--truth and consequences, lies and protection. I'd been trying so hard for so long to keep it together, to keep people away, so I didn't care. I'd made apathy into an art. And one of the only people on earth I wanted to stick around since I'd said good-bye to existing was leaving me. Every time he opened his mouth, he created more questions and no answers, just like in class. But I believed that Cy wanted to keep me safe, and Dr. Z, too.
"I trust you." Instead of waiting for his reply or reaction, I immediately turned on my heels and pushed through the double metal doors into the hallway and climbed the stairs.
I couldn't explain why I felt such a strong connection to Cy since day one, how--even though I'd felt dead inside for over two years--Cy somehow made me feel a dozen strong emotions from the moment he walked into Dr. Z's classroom. I didn't know much about him, but he knew things about me and wouldn't tell me why. But something deep inside of me said to wait. I didn't know everything, but I knew that Cy was the danger I couldn't stay away from. Learning why might lead me to the answers I so desperately needed to be whole again.
I slipped the bill into the machine and pressed the buttons for the Butterfinger. After hearing the coins jingle into the change cup, I bought a bottle of water and then headed back down to the basement. Cy had his small Styrofoam bowl of uncooked spinach leaves and vinegar.
I stood in front of his desk. He looked up.
"Grass again?" I asked.
"Yes. Much better than a quart of grease and curdled cow's milk or the additives and chemicals in that package you're carrying."