“Everything’s fine, Daddy.” I made the word “PROTECT” and Daddy frowned, letting me know that he did not have anything to cross it with. “I can’t wait until graduation.”
“I’m so proud of you. Both of you.” He exchanged three of his tiles and it was my turn again. “Since you made the word ’PROTECT,’ I guess this is a good time to ask about…”
“Daddy, Faith and I both are using protection. It’s not even like that. You act like we’re whores or something.”
Daddy glared at me. “I never said that, but you’re grown women and grown women do grown things. I’m nobody’s fool, Hope.”
“You’re right, Daddy. It just seems so sixties. Talking to your father about sex. Who does that these days?”
“I’m not the typical father. At least, I hope not. I want to make sure that you and your sister don’t get bogged down with kids before you’re ready.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m not even seeing anybody…not really.”
“What about Faith?”
I sighed and used the “R” in “PROTECT” to make the word “RAZOR,” getting triple points for the “Z.” I was kicking Daddy’s ass.
“What about Faith?” I responded as I got four new tiles to put on my letter stand.
“Does she have a steady man in her life?”
“Daddy, you need to ask Faith. She’s been kind of secretive with me lately.”
I had an instant pain in my stomach from the guilt that kicked in. Fucking Kevin not once, but twice, had been a huge mistake. One that I was not going to repeat; no matter what.
“Secretive in what way?”
“Nothing. That came out wrong. Since it’s our senior year, we’ve both been busy doing our own thing. We room together but a lot of times, we barely see each other in passing. She may have someone. I don’t know.”
“I see.”
I cannot stand it when Daddy says, “I see.” That means that he is either over thinking something, analyzing our every move, or imagining the worst.
“I win,” I said as I used the last of my tiles to make the word “CHARGES.”
“I want a rematch.” Daddy chuckled. “That was a warm-up game. It’s been a while since I’ve played you.”
“That’s funny because it’s been the same exact amount of time since I’ve played you.”
He reached across his desk and swatted me playfully on my head. “Cheater.”
“How can a person cheat with Scrabble?”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and I know you.”
“Daddy, you lost. Suck it up like a man.”
“Suck it up like a man?” He got up from his desk and walked around it. I braced myself for what was inevitably coming next: tickling. “I’ll bet you won’t be saying that in a second.”
He started tickling me under my armpits and I could not control my laughter. Next thing you know we were rolling around on the floor, with me in tears and him enjoying making a fool out of me.
FAITH
I should have seen the ambush coming. Daddy asked me to ride with him to pick up some tools because he was building a gazebo in the backyard. Hope was always the one who would go on errands with him but she conveniently overslept that morning.
“I can’t believe it’s Thanksgiving already,” I said from the passenger seat as we turned into the Home Depot parking lot. “Christmas will be here before we know it.”
“Are you coming back home for Christmas?” Daddy parked the car, cut the ignition, and gazed at me.
“Why wouldn’t we?”
“I figured Hope might come back but I wasn’t sure about you.”
I smirked. “Why not?”
“Hope mentioned that you have someone special in your life.”
“She did?” Daddy chuckled. That’s when I knew he was fabricating the truth. “No, she didn’t.”
“Okay, maybe she didn’t go that far but she said that you’ve been preoccupied lately.”
“I have been preoccupied, trying to get that diploma, and checking out job possibilities.”
One of his eyebrows arched. “In the D.C. area?”
“In the United States of America area.” I grinned. “I am seeing someone, but it’s casual.”
“The expression on your face is not saying casual. It’s saying serious.”
I reached for the latch to open up my car door. “Are we going inside or did we come here to watch people walk in and out of the store?”
Daddy opened his door and climbed out. We went in the store and were walking down the aisle with nails when he started in on me again.
“So, what’s his name?”
“Kevin,” I said without hesitation. “His name is Kevin.”
“Student at Crockett University?”
“No, not a student. He’s older than me.”
“Not my age, I hope.”
“No, Daddy. You’re ancient.”
We both laughed. In actuality, Kevin was extremely close to Daddy’s age. There was no way that I was going to reveal that; not with the way he had posed his statement, with disdain in his voice.
“I know what I’m doing. Trust me. Let me make my own choices.”
“Never have I tried to make choices for you. Not me or your mother. But we’re always going to be concerned about you. Is that a crime?”
He picked up a pack of 40d nails and threw them into the shopping hand basket he was carrying.
“Well, is it a crime?”
“No, don’t be silly. I’m glad you’re concerned but, in this case, there’s nothing to worry about. I’m not going to run off and elope, or let the condom break, or anything like that.”
“Glad to hear you’re using condoms.”
“Can we drop this?”
“Sure.”
When we got in line at the register, Daddy must have forgotten that we were dropping the subject.
“Has this Kevin ever been married?”
“Yes, and he’s divorced.”
“Kids?”
“Two gro…two sons.” I caught myself before I let it slip that both Kevin’s sons were grown.
“Good job?”
“Great career!” I did not have any intention of telling my father that I was dating an employee at the university. He was a worry wart and would have made up all kinds of crazy scenarios, culminating with me being ousted from school for fornicating. “I like him…a lot…and we’re simply seeing what happens. Taking things day by day.”
That was not exactly the truth. Kevin wanted way more than I did, but my emotions were getting caught up and I was beginning to imagine what it would be like to settle down with him.
“All that I ask is that you and your sister never allow men to disrespect you. I see all these young, desperate women—especially here in Atlanta. They settle for fragments of men instead of waiting on the total package. Real men treat women right.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more, Daddy.”
That was the end of it. He left that topic alone and I was relieved. Once we got back to my parents’ house, I was on a mission: to find Hope’s ass.
She was in the attic, going through some boxes of clothes. Did she ever stop with the clothes madness!
“Did you save me any turkey bacon?” I asked as I approached her in the attic.
“Not any cooked bacon but there’s plenty more in the fridge.”
“That’s jacked up. Greedy ass.”
“Hey, Momma could have cooked more but she was being skimpy with the grub.” Hope laughed. “Did you and Daddy find everything he needed for the gazebo?”
“Yeah, I guess. He was too busy grilling me about my dating habits.”
Hope put down the black sweater she was holding and turned toward me. “Aw, I can tell by the look on your face that somehow, you’re going to put a spin on this and make it my fault.”
“He didn’t pull the idea that I had a man out of the clear blue. You said something to him.”
“I didn’t say a damn thing but now that you brought it up, who are you fucking back in D.C.?”
“No one you know.”
“I might shock you. I know a lot of people.”
“You don’t know him.” For a second, I wondered if Hope might know Kevin. After all he was the CFO of our school. There was no reason for her to ever cross paths with him though. Then again, I had. “He’s simply someone I met and we’re kicking it.”
“Humph, okay. Whatever.”
My cell phone rang; it was Kevin. I answered. “Hello.”
“Hey, baby,” he said, sounding as sexy as ever. “Did you get to Atlanta safely? I waited for you to call me last night.”
“I’m sorry. We got here and my parents were so excited to see us. We were lost in the moment, I suppose.”
“Well, don’t forget about me while you’re down there. I miss you already.”
I turned my back to Hope, as if that would prevent her from hearing what I was saying in an attic where you could hear a mouse pissing on a cotton ball. “I miss you as well. Sorry that I couldn’t see you before…”
“Faith, do you know where that trunk is that has my thermal underwear in it?” Hope yelled out, interrupting me.
“Hold on.” I put the phone to my chest and glared at her. “How rude! No, I don’t know where the trunk is.”
“Well, what good are you then?”
I rolled my eyes and went back to my conversation. “So, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?”
“Mr. Jones invited me over for dinner with his family. Since you’re not here, I might as well go for it.”
“That’s cool. Have fun. What time are you going over there?”
“I plan to leave in a couple of hours.” Kevin was silent for a few seconds and then said, “Faith, when you get back, I really want to have a serious talk with you.”
“About what?”
“Matters of life.”
I walked a few feet further from Hope. “Okay, we can do that. Are you sure it can wait until I get back? I can call you back in a few, but I need to go somewhere more private first.”
I could hear Hope suck in air and smack her lips, but I still did not look at her.
“No, it can wait until next week. You have fun with your folks and drive safely on your way back.”
“Oh, you’ll be talking to me before I head back.”
“No doubt. I can’t go a day without my Faith fix.”
“Aw, you’re so sweet.”
“This is sickening,” Hope said to my back. “Get a room.”
I waved her off in disgust. “Call me tonight, when you get back from Mr. J…” I was about to say “Mr. Jones’ house” but caught myself. Hope’s nosey ass would have turned into Nancy Drew in a heartbeat. “Call me later.”
“Okay, baby,” Kevin said. “I’ll do that. Take care.”
“You, too.” He hung up and I turned toward Hope. “Don’t even think about asking me any questions.”
“I don’t have any questions about your secret lover but I do want your opinion on something.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
Hope sat down in the window box near the front of the attic and folded her arms in front of her. “There’s this girl at school and she’s banging her roommate’s boyfriend.”
“How skank!” I spat out.
“Can I finish? Damn!” Hope frowned. “I haven’t even gotten five seconds of the scenario out yet and you’re already passing judgment.”
“Old girl is fucking her roommate’s man. What more do I need to know?”
“She didn’t know he was banging her roommate at first. It was an honest mistake. She met him at a nightclub and was planning on having a one-night quickie, and he dicked her down before she even realized he knew her roommate.”
“That’s different. Everyone makes rash decisions when they’re horny. If she really didn’t know the deal, then she’s in the clear. She fucked him and there was no way to take it back.”
Hope stared at me. I shrugged.
“What if she fucked him again?”
“Then she’s a nasty-ass ho!” I stated vehemently. “Pure and simple. Who is this skeezer? If you know her ass and she goes to Crockett, that means I must know her.”
“I can’t tell you. She swore me to secrecy.”
I giggled. “You and I don’t have secrets. It’s you and me against the world. Now tell me who it is.”
Hope stood up and started walking past me. “Never mind. Forget I brought it up.”
“I hate it when you give up half of some juicy gossip and then don’t give up the other half.”
“Hey, this isn’t the Young, Black and Fabulous web site.”
“Whatever, tramp!”
“Come on. We need to get downstairs,” Hope said. “I promised Momma that I would make the stuffing for dinner and she wants you to do the tossed salad.”
“You, making stuffing? That’s a scary-ass thought.”
We laughed as we left out of the attic and descended the stairs, looking forward to sharing Thanksgiving dinner with our folks.
HOPE
It was clear to me that I had to give Kevin up, from head to dick. When we got back to D.C., I was prepared to avoid him at all costs. I threw myself into my studies and ignored Faith, as she sashayed in and out of our dorm room; walking on clouds. It was obvious that things were heating up between her and Kevin. She was always singing in the shower, putting on extra lotion to cover her naturally ashy knees and even whispering his name in her sleep.
Faith still refused to tell me anything about their relationship; even though I knew Kevin in the Biblical sense. I could not believe that he had never mentioned, in passing, the fucking sessions at his friend Howard’s place or inside and outside of Dante’s Peak. Most men like to reminisce about great sex with their women. The only conclusion that I could come to was that the two of them were breaking each other off so hard that his sex with me was not the best of the best that they had experienced. That made me feel even worse. I had fucked my sister’s man and it was not even worthy of discussion. Surely if he had mentioned anything to her, she would have realized something was up.
I became depressed, knowing that Faith was getting all that good, big, juicy dick on a regular basis while I was stuck with the little boys at school. Suddenly dealing with men my own age became unappealing. I was craving something more seasoned; not decrepit but mature. A man who knew how to break a sister off right in the sex department. The ones my age were only out for self, making sure they busted nuts and not giving a damn about my needs. Except for freak nights but those only came once a month.
One day in early December, I decided to venture downtown to one of the upscale hotels. I figured that a lot of sophisticated business travelers would be hanging out in the bar. There were quite a few men in there but most were paired up having drinks and talking business. Most of them also reminded me too much of my father so they were too damn seasoned. Kevin was roughly Daddy’s age but he did not look anything like him. He had a young spirit.
There was one pair of men—two African-Americans—sitting in a booth near the back. I kept my eye on them as I sat at the bar and downed a couple of Pink Ladies. My fraternal grandmother used to drink them before her death. I missed her dearly since she had passed a few years earlier after developing Parkinson’s disease.
One of the men, the taller, light-skinned one, finally noticed me and smiled. I smiled back and help up my glass, like I was toasting him. He said something to his friend, who then looked in my direction. I smiled at him as well. He was extremely dark-skinned and fine as shit. Even with his tailored suit on, I could tell that he was built. They both looked to be in their late thirties or early forties. The light-skinned brother attempted to slip his wedding ring off and pass it to his friend without me noticing. When will men realize that women notice everything? Some women turn the other cheek, play dumb, and pretend like they do not know the deal; like I was about
to do. I could not have cared less if he was married. His predilection for cheating was his wife’s problem and not mine. I was not searching for love. I was searching for dick.
He made his way over to me and sat on the closest free stool. “Is this seat taken?”
I smirked. “It is now that you sat on it.”
He grinned. “Good point. If it was taken, I would not have been able to plop down here.” I took another sip of my drink, wondering if he had taken the short bus to D.C. “My name’s Frank.”
“I’m Effie,” I told him, having already decided on my alias before I even entered the bar. I loved the role that Jennifer Hudson portrayed in Dreamgirls so while the name Effie normally would have made me feel a hundred-ninety years old, it felt empowering at that moment. “Effie White.”
“Wow, that name sounds familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?”
I suppressed a laugh; dumb fool. “I would hope that if you knew me, you would remember me.” I took my index finger and swirled it around the rim of my glass, dipped it into the cool pink liquid and then licked it. “I’m a hard woman to forget.”
“You’re right. I would never be able to forget you.”
He sat there, staring at me, apparently struggling to find something to say. I glanced over at his friend, wondering if he was a better conversationalist.
“So, Frank, are you from D.C.?” I inquired, not really caring about all of that, but trying to get him to say something. Shit!
“No, I’m from Detroit. My friend, Andrew, and I are here on business.”
“Detroit is about to be a ghost town these days, isn’t it? With the automobile industry in jeopardy.”
“We’ll bounce back. There’s no way we can let the American automobile industry fall by the wayside. Hell, we invented cars.”
That was the first intelligent thing that the man had said.
“So I take it you drive an American-made car then?” I waited for him to answer but the expression on his face spoke volumes. “Oh, so you live in Detroit, probably have a lot of friends and family members who have lost jobs recently or are about to lose their jobs because of the auto industry, and you drive a foreign car?”
“My wi…I mean, a friend of mine insisted on a Lexus.”
“You can say your wife.” Okay, so I was not willing to play so dumb after all. I wanted him to know that his game was weak. “I saw you take your wedding ring off and hand it to your friend.”