Matt Kuhn—writer of the Barney Stinson chapter; alter ego of my alter ego
Seth MacFarlane—the war buddy I never knew I had
Kelly Ripa—dear friend and mystified apple-eater
Amy Sedaris—she just loves beavers
Sarah Silverman—my all-time favorite fainter
Stephen Sondheim—nothing will ever harm him, not while I’m around
You, age 1½. Unlike all other children that age, you were adorable.
You, age 6. Note the orange stripes in the shirt. That color would be declared illegal in 1982.
You, age 8, going through not only your “awkward stage,” but that of six other classmates.
You, age 26. You were a very late bloomer.
Your family. Pictured: Brian, Mom, Dad, you. Not pictured (but strongly implied): President Gerald Ford.
You and your brother, Brian, whom you admired for his coolness, creativity, and reluctance to be photographed holding wash basins.
Your beloved cat Cosette, staring at you with her beautiful loving eyes as if to ask, “Why did you not mention me anywhere else in the book?”
This is an actual picture of you getting the news you’d been cast in Clara’s Heart, meaning your family would finally be able to afford its own phone.
A scene from Clara’s Heart. Note the milk carton with the missing girl. She eventually turned up safe and sound and went on to become Alyssa Milano.
Signing autographs at the premiere of Clara’s Heart. All those writing lessons finally paid off!
A publicity still for Doogie Howser, M.D. The creation of this pompadour required the day-long application of a rare imported mousse distilled from the secretions of an opossum’s thyroid gland.
Your appearance on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson remains one of the highlights of your career, even if it did drive him into retirement.
You and fellow actor Stephen Dorff in 1990. You used to go out and try to get laid looking like this. With women. And you weren’t even straight.
Your theater career spans more than 30 years and a variety of genres, from your early role in the gender-bending, taboo-busting The Music Man to your most recent work in the old-fashioned, family-friendly Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
The Music Man, 1985
Rent, 1997
Proof, 2002
Cabaret, 2003
Assassins, 2004
Hedwig and the Angry Inch, 2014
The HIMYM crew: Carter Bays, Pam Fryman, Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Rob Greenberg, Alyson Hannigan, Craig Thomas and you. Staring at this photo gives you the feels.
You and David on one of your first dates. Is he good-looking or what? Seriously, dude, you scored big-time.
Gideon and Harper, Day 1, 10/12/10
Gideon and Harper, Day 1,338, 6/12/14
Gideon and Harper on the set of the 2014 all-preschool production of Rent, hailed by the New York Times as “breathtakingly inappropriate.”
The finale of “Bigger,” the opening number you performed at the 2013 Tonys. Unique among the major entertainment awards, the Tony Award is actually 20 feet tall. When you win one yourself the following year for Hedwig and the Angry Inch, you end up converting the base into a toolshed.
Credits
From Clara’s Heart: Michael Ochs Archives (Getty Images)
From Doogie Howser, M.D.: ABC Photo Archives (Disney ABC Television Group via Getty Images)
From The Tonight Show: NBC (NBC Universal via Getty Images)
With Stephen Dorff: Ron Galella, Ltd (Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images)
From How I Met Your Mother: Pamela Fryman
From Rent, Proof, Cabaret, Assassins, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch: Joan Marcus
From the 2013 Tonys: Andrew H. Walker (Getty Images Entertainment)
All other photographs are from the author’s collection.
Song Credits
Lyrics to “Bigger,” from the 2013 Tony Awards, words and music by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Tom Kitt; Tony Award® Productions © 2013; Tony Award® is a registered trademark of the American Theatre Wing, used with permission.
Adapted lyrics to “Empire State of Mind,” from the 2013 Tony Awards, lyrics by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Tommy Kail; Tony Award® Productions © 2013; Tony Award® is a registered trademark of the American Theatre Wing, used with permission.
Lyrics to “The Judge’s Return,” from Sweeney Todd, words and music by Stephen Sondheim, © 1979 RILTING MUSIC, INC. All Rights Administered by WB MUSIC CORP. All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission. Reprinted by Permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.
Lyrics to “Brand New Day,” from Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, words and music by Jed Whedon and Joss Whedon, © TIME SCIENCE BLOOD CLUB, LLC.
Neil Patrick Harris, Neil Patrick Harris
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