Kelli nods, still sipping from her drink. The stats book lies between us, totally forgotten. Now that Alexandria is gone, I don’t want to help. I don’t even want to look at that stupid book.
Sorry Kelli.
“What else does she say about me?” I ask when Kelli still hasn’t said anything.
“Nothing much. She’s trying to resist you.”
No shit.
“She likes Steven but isn’t into him.”
“And you know this how?”
Kelli arches a brow. “Are you worried Steven is going to steal her from under your nose?”
“There’s nothing to steal. I’m not interested in her in that way.” Kelli’s brow goes even higher. How does she do that? “I’m serious. Steven wants to buy her flowers and take her out and make her his girlfriend. I just want to get her naked and have sweaty, amazing sex with her.”
“You don’t usually spend so much time in hot pursuit of one girl,” Kelli points out. “You’re not acting normal.”
“What is normal anyway?”
“For you? Let’s see.” She taps her finger against her pursed lips, contemplating my question. I practically squirm in my seat. I don’t want to hear this, especially from Kelli who’s been watching me for a while now. “One woman after the other, one for every night of the week. A little moody, a lot grumpy, always giving your friends shit when they decide to settle down.”
I don’t look at her. She’s right.
“I’m getting the sense that when it was the three of you against the world, you were happy. Comfortable. In your element.” Kelli pauses and I glance up to see that she’s watching me with what—sympathy in her eyes? Please. I get more tail now than I ever did when I had to split it with Gabe and Shep. “They’ve changed it up on you and you’re scrambling. The lone wolf among all the salivating women lined up wanting a piece of you.”
“Is that how you see it?”
“Kind of,” she admits. “Is that all you see when you look at Alex? Another piece of ass?”
No. And that’s the scary part. I would never admit that to Kelli. She wouldn’t understand. Or she’d run off and tell Alexandria. Fuck that. If I can’t work up the nerve to admit it, then no one else is doing it for me.
I immediately break out into a sweat. Do I actually like Alexandria? As in, do I want to spend time with her beyond the usual fucking around and being done with it?
Yes.
Nooo. I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it. My anti-relationship stance is still firmly in place. I’m just like Dad. My mom has said that more than once when I was growing up. He’s a decent guy, hard working to the point of obsessive. Sometimes a little callous. Has a hard time showing affection. When pushed he’ll joke around with enough bite beneath the words to make you feel like shit. I know if I were to become involved with a woman, I’ll most likely end up treating her just like Dad treated Mom. Driving them away, driving them to drink, pushing them into another man’s arms, pushing them into madness.
I can’t do it. I refuse to do it. Better to be alone than to make someone you might care about absolutely miserable.
“She’s a pretty fine piece of ass, don’t you think?” I say with a smirk as I stand, grabbing my empty coffee cup so I can throw it in the garbage on my way out. “Gotta go, K. Hope you do well on your test tomorrow.”
“Tristan, wait,” she calls after me but I ignore her. I toss the cup into the trash, offer the barista a flirtatious smile and a wave and then get the hell out of there.
My plan to earn my way into Alexandria’s good graces didn’t work out quite like I wanted to. Maybe I should move on.
Or maybe I should move on to plan B.
“Steven asked me out,” I say conversationally, waiting for the impending reaction.
It comes within seconds, as expected.
“Get out.” Kelli shoves my shoulder with the tips of her fingers and I make like I’m going to fall over. “Why are you wasting your time on that guy?”
I shrug, watching him in my living room, in his usual perch on the beanbag playing video games with Conrad. “He’s nice. I like how attentive he is.”
“Suffocating.” Kelli yawns.
“He’s funny.”
“If you like nerds.”
“Oh my God, are we still in high school?” I turn to glare at her. “He’s smart, he’s cute and he’s respectful. What more could I ask for?”
“I don’t know, maybe melting hot passion? Undeniable chemistry?” She peers at me, her narrowed eyes trying their best to see everything. I throw up that wall that I’ve become so good at, blocking her attempts. “Do you feel any of that with good ol’ Steven?”
I scowl. “You’re being mean.”
Her eyes pop wide, her expression one of complete innocence. We’re sitting at the small dining room table going over our stats homework on an otherwise boring Monday night. We got our grades back on our tests that we took a week ago—I got a C+. Kelli got a B-. Clearly she wasn’t as distracted by our study guide as I was.
I refuse to think of his name. It’s easier that way.
“How in the world am I being mean? I’m asking you a simple question, that’s it. Have you even kissed that guy?” She waves a hand in the general direction of the living room.
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. “He hasn’t made a move yet.”
“What’s he waiting for?”
I don’t know. I almost wish he would kiss me so I can wipe the memory of my last kiss from my brain once and for all. I told myself I wouldn’t become involved with Steven or Tristan and so far, Steven’s been the more persistent one, which is surprising. I haven’t heard from Tristan since I walked out of the Starbucks last Sunday. It’s been an entire week and I haven’t caught a glimpse of him, heard a single word uttered about him, nothing.
I tell myself I prefer it that way. The faster he’s out of my life completely the better.
“When are you two lovebirds going out?” Kelli asks.
“Friday night.” Dinner and a movie. So normal. Just the way I prefer it.
Kelli’s face falls. “But Jade’s having a party on Friday night.”
“What sort of party?”
“A special lady party.” She lifts her brow, a weird smile on her face. That’s the thing about Kelli. Her moods shift constantly. “Sexual aids and the like.”
I gape. “Are you serious?”
“Shep put her up to it. He wants the free shit, is what he told her. The more she sells at her party, the more she earns in free product. It’s like Tupperware but with vibrators.”
My cheeks go hot at the word vibrator. I mean—I own one. Received it as a joke birthday gift two years ago from one of my high school friends and promptly threw it in a box where it remained until I moved in here a few months ago. I found it when I was unpacking, took it out of the package, put some batteries in it and sent myself straight into orgasm land the Sunday before school started.
Talk about relieving the tension. I might’ve used it a few times since then too.
“Well, I guess I can’t go since I already have plans,” I say.
“Screw that.” Kelli stands and cups her hand around her mouth. “Steven!” she shouts. “Get in here!”
“What are you doing?” I hiss whisper at her when she sits.
“Watch and learn,” she says with a pleased smile.
Steven practically runs into the dining room, coming to a skidding stop right beside my chair. “What’s up?” he says, trying to sound cool.
I’m amazed at how fast he did her bidding. She yells and he comes running.
Hmmm.
“Listen, I know you and Alex have a date on Friday night and I think that’s fabulous. You two make the cutest couple.” He blushes. “But…I really want Alex to come to a party with me on Friday night.”
“Oh. Uh, well…” He sounds so sad. I’m about to say something in his defense and tell her to knock it off, but Kelli sits up straighter, giving me a look before she c
ontinues.
“Trust me, you’ll eventually benefit from this party we’re going to attend,” Kelli says mysteriously. “And I’m sure you two could get together Saturday night, right?”
“Is that okay with you, Alex?” Steven asks.
I glance up at him and smile. I like that he asks me first. He doesn’t just assume or take what he wants. “I work Saturday afternoon but I’m off at five.”
He nods. “That works. I’m cool with it.” He turns to look at Kelli. “She’s all yours on Friday, Kel.”
She beams. “Thanks Steven. You’re a doll.”
He blushes and nods some more before he heads back to the living room.
“Maybe I didn’t want to go to your sexy party,” I tell her the moment Steven’s gone.
Kelli laughs. “You sound like Stewie from Family Guy. He was always throwing sexy parties. And please, you so want to go.”
“No, I really don’t,” I stress. I’m sure it’s at Jade’s house. Which is really Shep’s house. Which is also Tristan’s house.
Um, yeah. No way.
“Stop being such a prude. It’ll be fun.”
“And what’s up with you calling Steven a doll?”
“He’s like a cute little doll with those big brown eyes always blinking behind his glasses. He’s adorable. I can see the appeal,” she explains as she resumes doing her homework.
I just stare at her. She thinks Steven is adorable? Just two minutes ago she thought he was a suffocating nerd. “How did you convince him so quick to agree anyway?” That had been pretty impressive.
“Jedi mind trick. That and my V-neck sweater always seem to do it if nothing else.”
My gaze drops to her chest, where her ample cleavage is on display. “You flashed him your boobs?”
“Not really. I just squeezed my arms together a little bit. Makes my tits pop nicely.”
“You are too much,” I say, shaking my head.
“You love it. And speaking of too much, have you talked to Tristan?”
My stomach dips just hearing his name. “No.” A pause. I mentally count to ten. “Have you?”
“He texted me last Friday night asking if I was going out but I said no. That was it.” She watches me. “He hasn’t texted you?”
“No.” I shake my head. The jerk. Why hasn’t he texted me? I don’t want him to but still. “I’m glad. I don’t need his drama.”
“What? His drama? He’s the most drama free guy out there. With Tristan, you know what you’re getting.”
“And what’s that exactly? Because he’s been sending me conflicting messages since I met him.”
Kelli frowns. “Conflicting messages? That doesn’t sound like him. He was chasing after you hard. I’m assuming you two never did the deed.”
My cheeks warm. “Of course not. I’m not into one night stands.”
“I’ve heard he’s worth it.”
“You kissed him.” I pause, a little squicked out by that. “How was it?”
Kelli smirks. “You tell me.”
“I haven’t kissed him,” I lie. I don’t like lying but I really don’t want to compare notes on the taste of Tristan’s lips with Kelli.
In fact, knowing that she kissed him drives a white-hot blade of jealousy into my stomach, which is totally ridiculous.
“Really? Well, that’s a shame. Though honestly, I don’t remember much about our kiss. I was drunk, it was awkward, the end.” She waves a hand, dismissing the conversation. “Maybe he’s moved on.”
“From me?” I ask.
She nods, her gaze full of worry.
“I’d be okay with that.” I’m lying again. I don’t mind that he’s kept his distance. Well, a tiny part of me would like to see him but the bigger, louder part of me is saying I should stay away. So if he stays away instead, that makes it easier, right?
“Good. Then you can focus on your sweet little brown eyed nerd and have fun.” She taps her pencil against the textbook in front of her. “Though it would be kind of exciting to have both Steven and Tristan vying for your attention.”
“That sounds like a nightmare. I hate drama. Remember?” I’ve had enough to last me a lifetime thanks to my parents. “I bet you’re right. He’s given up on me.” Oh, I sound pitiful but Kelli is the only one I can discuss this stuff with.
“Tristan?”
I nod.
“I don’t know. Maybe he’s just biding his time. Jade’s party is at his house, after all. Maybe he’s hoping he’ll see you there.”
“I doubt that,” I mutter as I refocus my attention on the problems in front of me.
But the numbers and formulas start to blur the longer I stare at them. I’m just wasting my time so I think about other things. Like how nice it is to have new friends and a guy that’s interested in me whereas before I was stuck in limbo, unsure which way my life was going next.
I’m finally able to forge a new life and have new experiences versus being worried about my parents all the time. You’d think they would’ve written their only daughter from prison by now…
Your thinking would be incorrect.
Pushing all thoughts of my shitty parents out of mind, I tap my pencil in the middle of the page Kelli’s looking at to get her attention. “Let’s do some vodka shots.”
The slow smile stretching Kelli’s mouth is infectious. “Are you serious?”
“Definitely. I need to loosen up. I’m too tense trying to prep for this stupid quiz that I’m bound to fail.”
We both get up and head for the freezer where a half-full bottle of Grey Goose sits. “Is it the stats test that’s making you tense or all your man trouble?” Kelli asks.
“Both,” I tell her truthfully.
“I don’t want you at the house tonight,” Jade says firmly, her gaze directed at me. Not that she could be talking to anyone else, considering we’re the only ones here.
I’m sitting at the kitchen counter eating cereal for lunch. I’m too lazy to leave the house to grab something and I definitely don’t cook. Jade’s bustling around the kitchen pulling shit out of the pantry she’s going to use to make her appetizers for her little gathering later this evening. She’s even wearing an apron—a rather domesticated scene that’s making me extremely uncomfortable.
Does Shep even understand what he’s doing by living with Jade and letting her have full reign of his house? He’s insane.
“Why can’t I stick around? It’s my house too,” I mumble around a mouthful of Fruit Loops.
“Ew, don’t talk with your mouth full.” She swats me with a dishtowel and I duck out of her way. “No girl is going to want you if you talk to her with milk dribbling down your chin.”
I immediately touch my chin, which is bone ass dry. Jade grins. “Made you check.”
Grumbling beneath my breath, I shovel another spoonful of fruity loops in my mouth, chew and swallow before I speak again. “All the girls want me, Jade. I don’t think a little milk drool is going to hurt my game.”
She rolls her eyes. “Are you for real right now?”
My answer is a shrug, which seems to irritate her more.
“You need to go out. Maybe you and Shep could go to a bar. Or to the gambling house,” she suggests. That she’s encouraging me to drag Shep’s ass to a bar is unbelievable—and tells me she’s serious about getting us out of here.
“I don’t want to go out.” The weather is for shit today. Cloudy and gloomy and rainy. A big storm is forecasted for later tonight—thanks Ginger Zee on Good Morning America—and I really don’t want to get stuck out in it.
Do I sound like an old man or what?
“Seriously? The one night I will practically pay you to go to a bar with my man and you’re not interested?” She stops on the other side of the island, directly in front of me. I look up to meet her irritated gaze. “What can I do to convince you to leave?”
“You’re not going to pay me?” Like I’d take her money.
She shakes her head.
??
?So you really don’t want me around.”
“Absolutely not.” She even mock shudders for the full effect.
“Because of your party?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of party is it?” No one has said. I think it’s weird that Jade is entertaining her friends like my mom would on a Friday night. With appetizers and wine and all that bullshit.
The look on Jade’s face is immediately sketchy. “Just a little something to get all the girls together.”
Uh, huh. She’s not telling me everything. Pushing my empty bowl away from me, I fold my arms on top of the counter and contemplate her. “I won’t disturb your little something. I’ll lock myself away in my room for the entire night. I promise.”
“You can’t promise anything and you know it.”
She’s got me there. “Where’s Shep going tonight?”
“With you.” She does this weird little hand thing that’s a total gimme a break gesture. “Come on, Tristan. Help me out here.”
“Who’s coming to this party?”
“My friends.”
“Lucy?”
“Of course.”
“Kelli?”
She nods, then proceeds to rattle off a list of girls while ticking each one off with her fingers. I don’t recognize any of their names so I immediately tune out. I didn’t know Bitch Face Jade had that many friends. Go figure.
“Oh, and Alex. Kelli’s friend,” Jade tacks onto the end of her list, like no big thing.
But it’s a huge thing. I’d pushed her out of my thoughts on purpose. More for my own protection than hers because come on, I’m the most selfish monster on the planet. I got caught up in some weird, temporary obsession with Alexandria. Like to the point where she was consuming my thoughts and that’s just completely unlike me. So instead of pursuing her relentlessly like my inner instincts were screaming at me to do, I gave up.
Completely.
As in, I haven’t been with a girl in what? Over a week? Two? I’ve lost fucking count.
And that’s unheard of.
“Hey baby.”
I turn to see Shep walking into the kitchen, immediately going to Jade so he can give her a kiss. “Cute apron,” he tells her when their lips break apart.