Chapter Thirteen
**Jane**
Panic swept over Jane’s body as she stood in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. It had been at least six hours since the last time she felt her baby girl kick, and what concerned her even more was that she was usually incredibly active at night and when Jane was eating. Jane had eaten almost too much food and it was pretty late, so she was expecting her little girl to be practicing her Rockette routine, but there was no movement…at all.
When Jane went to the bathroom, she found some light brown fluid in her panties and when she wiped, there was more. Now she stood before the mirror, looking at the woman in the reflection with worry and concern etching her face, who was on the verge of a near panic attack. Her breathing became ragged as she tried to figure out what to do. There was no way she was losing her baby…that was not possible. She was too far along to have a miscarriage, so that wasn’t a possibility.
The mere thought of losing her baby sent Jane into a breathing frenzy as she gripped the counter for balance. She shouldn’t have worn these shoes, she thought as she teetered back and forth. The heels were gorgeous, but not conducive to a pregnant woman.
Every possible wrong thought a person could conjure up about why their baby wasn’t active ran through Jane’s mind. She’d heard stories about women losing their babies, about having to deliver early and just praying that the NICU unit would be able to save the little breath of life. As she stood there, wobbling back and forth, she imagined herself in every scenario.
Before she knew it and before she could catch herself, she fell to the ground, on her side, as she clutched her stomach and talked to her baby.
“Stay with me, little girl, you can’t leave just yet. You’re still too little and we want you to grow big and strong. Just stay with me, little girl,” Jane started to sob as she gripped her stomach on the gross stadium bathroom floor.
As she lay on the floor, she pushed her fingers against her belly, hoping that she could possibly wake up her little girl from the long nap she must be taking.
“Wake up, baby girl. Wake up for Mommy and show her that you’re still in there waiting to meet us. I just want to make sure you’re okay in there, baby girl, please kick for Mommy. Please kick,” Jane sobbed as she held on tight.
“Pip-squeak, are you in here?” Brady called out, as he entered the ladies’ room. He saw her on the floor and immediately fell to her side. “Jane, what’s wrong?” he called out as he examined her on the floor and tried to lift her up.
“I can’t feel her kicking, Brady, she’s not kicking for me.”
“Okay, don’t panic. Let’s get you off this cold floor and go see the doctor. She might just be taking it easy on you tonight.”
Jane didn’t respond; she just cried into Brady’s shoulder as he lifted her up into his arms with ease and carried her out of the bathroom. One of her shoes fell to the ground, but Brady didn’t stop for it, instead he headed straight for the parking lot.
He called out to Marc as he walked. “I’m taking Jane to the hospital, I think her purse and shoe are still in the bathroom, please have Patty pick them up. I’ll call you from the hospital once we make sure everything is okay.”
Jane heard Marc call out in the distance, but his words didn’t register in her mind as she buried her head in Brady’s chest, trying to will away the nasty and terrible thoughts that were running through her mind.
The ride to the hospital and the wait in the waiting room were all a big blur. Thanks to Brady’s “celebrity” status, they were almost immediately placed in a private room away from gazers and gawkers wondering what was happening to the fan’s favorite, Brady’s Matthews and his wife.
Brady continued to say encouraging and soothing words into Jane’s ears as she talked to their baby while holding her belly, occasionally pushing on it, hoping for any kind of movement.
Finally, Doctor Cuevas, the same doctor Lucy and Connor used, walked into the room with a clipboard and addressed both Jane and Brady with the utmost professionalism.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews. I see that you’re concerned about your baby’s activity tonight. She’s not been as active as normal, is that correct?”
“Yes,” Brady answered for the both of them. “Jane said she hadn’t felt the baby kick in six hours, which is odd, because she’s usually a very active little baby at night and when Jane eats. We thought we should come here to make sure everything’s alright.”
“You’re very smart for coming in. I’m going to do a routine ultrasound to make sure everything is okay, that sound good?”
Brady nodded as Dr. Cuevas grabbed some gel and spread it across Jane’s stomach. Because of the dress she’d been wearing, she was now wearing a hospital gown, which normally she was less than happy about, but right now, she didn’t care about anything but her baby.
Dr. Cuevas put the wand on Jane’s stomach and started moving it around as Jane looked over at the screen, willing to see her baby. Instantly, a picture of their baby girl popped up on the screen, relieving Jane from the stress and pain she was feeling. There was her baby, safe in her belly.
“Oh, thank God. There she is, look there she is, Brady.”
“I know, sweet thing, there she is.”
“Doctor, can you please turn up the sound so I can hear her heartbeat? I just want to make sure everything is okay.”
There was a crease between Dr. Cuevas’ brows that set Jane’s nerves on high alert. She could feel her blood pressure start to skyrocket to astronomical heights as she searched Dr. Cuevas’ face for any kind of sign that her baby, in fact, was alright.
“Doctor, can you please turn up the machine?” Jane repeated, a little more worried this time.
Dr. Cuevas looked at Jane and said, “Mrs. Matthews, we don’t have volume controls on these machines.”
“Meaning what? Do we need a different machine to hear the heartbeat? Well, go get it.”
Dr. Cuevas put down the wand and said, “Mr. and Matthews, I don’t know how to say this other than this, there’s no heartbeat coming from the baby right now. I believe we’ve lost her.”
The only thing Jane could remember from that moment, the most horrific moment of her life, was the foreign cry that escaped Brady’s mouth as he placed his hands and head on Jane’s belly, asking for their baby girl to come back to them, crying for her to prove the doctor wrong. But their baby girl never moved, her little heart never beat again. Jane was prepped instantly and her water was broken by the doctor, because she had no other option but to give birth to her now-dead baby.
**Molly**
After a long evening of Albert’s words running through Molly’s head, she headed back to her apartment. It was way past six, so Luke should already be in bed, leaving the apartment to Molly. As she entered the front door, she was instantly hit with the smell of something burning, as well as smoke and the sound of fire alarms going off.
Panic set in as Molly tried to figure out what was happening. Was her apartment really on fire? Where was Luke? Did he set the place on fire?
Molly ran through the apartment, straight to the back to find Winnie’s bedroom empty, as well as her own. The smoke wasn’t in the back of the apartment either, so she ran to the front where she finally spotted Luke. He was swearing near the sliding glass door, waving a cooking tray around, trying to clear out the smoke. Molly looked over toward the kitchen and saw a torched chicken on the counter, along with a pile of lumpy potatoes and overcooked green beans.
The fear of the apartment being on fire quickly dissipated as she took in the scene in front of her. Luke was trying to cook. “Trying” being the operative word.
“Is everything okay?” Molly asked, as the smoke detector finally stopped, happy with the dispersion of smoke in the apartment.
Her words must have snuck up on him because he nearly jumped ten feet from her voice. Molly prayed that she didn’t scare him enough to trigger him into one of his terrors.
He took a cou
ple of breaths and then looked up at her and cleared his throat. “Yes, I was trying to cook dinner and fucking failed miserably.”
Molly looked over at the food that looked less-than-appetizing and tried to formulate some sort of compliment, so he didn’t feel like a complete failure. “Those potatoes look very…cheesy. What is that? Chunks of cheese?”
Luke looked over at the potatoes and said, “No, they’re cloves of garlic. The recipe called for them, but it seemed off to have big chunks of garlic in mashed potatoes. It asked for one clove, but that seemed fucked-up because then not everyone would get a chunk, so I put in the whole thing.”
He apparently wanted to be a fire-spitting dragon that could kill vampires with one breath after eating his mashed potatoes with the amount of garlic he put in there…they would have stank-breath for days!
Trying not to laugh or be condescending, Molly replied, “Did it say to crush the garlic?”
Luke thought about it for a second and then went to the recipe he was using. He used his finger to read and when he came to the garlic part, he looked up and smiled, actually smiled. Molly felt her knees go weak from the look he was giving her.
“That’s why you’ve always done all the cooking. I wasn’t supposed to put that much garlic in there, was I?” Molly shook her head no and Luke pondered her response for a second, then threw his head back and laughed. “Damn, and I thought I was being smarter than the fuckheads who put together this damn book,” Luke said, while tossing it to the side.
Molly went over to the potatoes and swiped her finger through them, putting her finger in her mouth, and tasting the over-garlicked starch. She winced as the blandness of the potatoes hit her tongue, along with the overwhelming taste of garlic.
“Oh fuck, that’s terrible.” She smiled and then said, “But now we have a defense if any vampires come along.”
Luke rolled his eyes, grabbed his “dinner” and tossed it in the garbage, then picked up his phone and said, “Want to share a pizza? Black olives and broccoli?”
Molly was so stunned with the complete one-eighty that Luke had made in his personality and attitude that all she could do was nod her head. Last time she talked to Luke, the man was calling her a whore, telling her how she was a bad example for their daughter and that she had stretch marks. What woman who gave birth didn’t have stretch marks? Molly was by no means fat at all, but even the skinniest of women got stretch marks from giving birth; they’re considered battle scars from pushing out a beastly watermelon.
While Luke ordered pizza, Molly went back to her bedroom and decided to change into some comfortable clothes. She put on a pair of army sweatpants and a grey tank top, as well as washed her face so it was completely free of makeup and put her hair up in a haphazard ponytail. She wished she could open her window to air out some of the smoke, but that wasn’t an option, thanks to Luke’s closet-door-flinging capabilities.
She walked back out to the main living area and Luke looked up from his phone; once he spotted her, he smiled brightly. “You look good.”
Was that a compliment? She didn’t get those much from Luke; he had to be high, or on some kind of anxiety medication because there was no way he was being this nice and considerate on his own. It was almost odd to be around him when he was acting…“normal.”
Molly so desperately wanted to ask why he was in a good mood, why he wasn’t tearing the apartment apart or on the verge of breaking her damn heart in half, but she knew if she did, it would ruin the mood he was in. So, instead of questioning him, she decided to live in this momentary change of heart with him.
“Pizza will be here in fifteen minutes. I hope that’s alright. I poured you a glass of wine. You only had one bottle in the back; I was kind of shocked,” Luke said with a grin, as he tried to hand her the glass.
Molly took the glass, but then dumped it down the sink, confusing the hell out of Luke. “I don’t really drink anymore, but thank you for the gesture.” She took the rest of the bottle and drained it down the sink as well and put the bottle in the recycling bin.
“What do you mean you don’t really drink anymore?”
“I just don’t,” Molly snapped a little too hard, as she headed toward the couch and sat down.
Luke stood in the kitchen, watching her intently. She now knew how it felt to be him, with her watching him constantly. It was uncomfortable. She made a mental note to herself not to stare at Luke as much when he was upset. It only made the person more uncomfortable.
Moving around the counter, Luke walked into the living room and sat on the same couch as Molly. They weren’t close by any means, but they were on the same couch and not screaming at each other, it was progress.
“Do you have a drinking problem?” Luke asked, being completely straightforward.
“No…but I did.”
Molly played with the pillow on her lap, avoiding Luke’s gaze.
“Because of me?” His voice was hollow of emotions as he asked.
“Because of many reasons, but yes, you were one of them.” She finally looked up at Luke and said, “Losing you nearly killed me, literally. The only reason I’m still alive is because Jane and Albert walked in on me. They saved me…and Winnie.”
“You tried to commit suicide?” Finally his voice rang with some emotion as his voice caught on the word suicide.
“Yes, I thought it would be easier to end my life than live without you. I didn’t think I could go on, but I did. I can’t really remember being pregnant, it’s one giant fog of depression. When I gave birth to Winnie, I almost felt emotionless. Giving birth to your first child should be one of the best times of your life, but the minute I saw her, I couldn’t look at her. She looks just like you. It was too hard. I wound up losing my job, getting addicted to pain killers and alcohol…combining them was my favorite thing and, to your disgust, I got lost in sex. It meant nothing to me, it never did, but I didn’t know what else to do to escape the pain I was feeling from losing you. Your parents took Winnie away from me because it got to the point where I was passed out in my own puke and Winnie was screaming in her crib, wanting to be taken care of and I ignored her…I ignored my baby girl.” Molly hung her head in shame.
“The pain was too intense for me,” she continued. “The pain of losing you was so overwhelming that I couldn’t move on with my life, so instead, I tried to waste it away with drugs, alcohol and sex. I’m so ashamed to admit it. Finally, Jane snapped me out of my haze, practically smacked me around until I could see clearly again. That was when I gathered myself, pulled my shit together and told myself to move on. I invited Austin over that night, the night you came back to me, to give him a shot, to try to move on, but the minute you showed up at the door, I felt like someone took my life into their hands and made it the way I always dreamed of, they brought you back to me.”
Molly looked up at Luke finally and found him staring at his bare feet. He looked sad, dejected almost, as if her story was reprimanding him.
Feeling uncomfortable, Molly said, “I’m sorry, I never should have told you that. I know you must be fighting your own demons right now, you don’t need to deal with my past.”
Slowly, Luke looked up at Molly and surprised the hell out of her. His eyes were full of tears and his cheeks were wet from where they were streaking. She had never seen the man cry like he was crying right now, it was almost a sob, he was crying so much. Molly’s heart broke in half as she scooted to his end of the couch and placed herself on his lap. She wrapped both arms around him and pulled him into a hug, wanting to take all his pain away, just for a moment in time at least.
“I almost killed you,” he practically whispered.
“No, no you didn’t, Luke. It was all me. I wasn’t strong enough; I tried to take the easy way out. It was all my fault.”
“No!” Luke jumped off the couch, sending Molly to the side. “It was all my damn fault.”
He walked out of the living room and into Winnie’s room. He followed his storm-off with a good
slam of the door, leaving Molly to herself in the living room.
Well, there went the thought of having a nice pizza night with Luke, Molly thought, as she slammed her head into a pillow and chastised herself for opening her stupid mouth when they were actually starting to have a moment of clarity.
**Parker**
“You sure you want to do this?” Parker asked, as he watched Margo take off her heels and place them on the bench in the dugout.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve always wanted to see what the big deal is about a major league baseball field.”
Margo gathered her dress up and sprinted up the steps out of the dugout and ran out onto the field. She ran straight across the mound and stopped at the shortstop position. She turned around and squatted in a ready position, while slapping her hands together as if she had a glove on her left hand and was ready for some grounders to be hit at her.
Shaking his head at how cute she looked, he walked up the steps and got in the batter’s box. “You want some grounders, Mo?”
“No, I just want to know what it feels like to be Parker ‘The Kirby Machine’ Hill.” She spit to the side and performed a routine he was very familiar with because he did it before every pitch. She looked to the side, called out the outs, spit into her hand and rubbed her hand in her palm as if it was her glove, then got in position. She then added a crotch-grab for good measure, making Parker full-belly laugh because the gorgeous girl in front of him was dressed to the nines, wearing an exquisite dress, and acting like a damn buffoon.
“I’m ready,” she called out, as she swayed back and forth.
“Just so you know, I don’t grab my crotch every time,” Parker said, as Margo raised her eyebrows at him. “I don’t!” he admonished, while he walked toward her. “But, yes, maybe I grab it a little more than normal, but can you blame me? They can’t make a cup big enough for my elephant-sized balls.”