Even the ruins of the house appeared enchanting as a light snow fell down to coat its grand remains.
As she entered through the gate her head filled with memories of ballgowns and music, feasting and finery, laughter and love. ‘God, I want to be back there.’ She drew a deep, resolute breath ahead of scaling the front steps and entering through the void where the front doors had once been.
Inside walls had collapsed, making the entire structure very unstable. All the finery had gone. Past all the rubble of the collapsed staircase and down the corridor of rising damp, the tower room of Marcus’ study still appeared to be intact, barring the windows, doors and furnishings that she recalled. The beautiful timber in the ceiling had also been ripped out, and thus Riane concluded that the place had been ransacked, rather than having fallen into ruin via natural causes.
‘A crying shame,’ she mumbled to herself, as she eyed over the cold remains of her nirvana. But, somewhere between life and death, the manor still existed untouched by the ravages of time, and Marcus still awaited her in this very room.
‘I told you I’d be back, and this time I’m staying until the end.’ Riane began to strip off her clothes. ‘My death will be no accident, it will be my will and therefore suicide.’ Having stripped off her outer layers, Riane began exposing bare skin. ‘I will be a ghost, if that’s what it takes to be with you.’
Having stipped to her underwear, Riane lay down on her discarded attire to await her certain death. Was this how Velvet, Rochelle, Marion and Arabella had been found? Were they the girls the historian had originally reported missing?
‘Of course they were.’ Her teeth chattered violently and she decided to refrain from speech. And now I shall become a ghost story in these parts. They will tell of how I was rescued from this place, only to return here and commit suicide the next day. She smiled as she recollected telling the local historian that she was off to meet her boyfriend. Maybe he would put two and two together and expand on her legend, to tell of how she’d fallen in love with the ghost of Marcus MacCloud and died to be with him.
The colder she felt, and the more pain, the broader she smiled. The sensation of a warm entity, the size of a man, bearing down upon her freezing form, startled her to delight. ‘Marcus, thank God.’
Guess again. Jasper’s naked ghost manifested to smile broadly at her. Marcus is not going to come. He’s wimped out on you, I’m afraid.
‘No, you’re lying!’ Riane scampered away, dragging her clothes along with her and as soon as she was clear of Jasper she dragged on a shirt and trousers.
That’s the way it is, sweet thing. He claims he loves you too much to condemn you. Jasper stretched out on the floor and began toying with his fully erect penis. But I can get you where you want to go, and unlike my brother, I’ve got a proven track record. He winked and flashed a cheeky grin.
‘I’m waiting for Marcus,’ she insisted.
Then you’re a dead woman. He forced a smile and sat up, cross-legged, leaving his penis to wave around aimlessly at attention. If Marcus was coming don’t you think he would have beaten me to you? And, quite frankly, I’ve got better things to do than to run around liberating frigid women in distress. Do you want out of the reincarnation loop, or not?
‘Well, quite frankly, we frigid women have got better things to do than be run off the road by sexually demented corpses.’ Riane folded her arms, defiantly.
So you figured it out, finally. Jasper smiled to confirm her statement. But you never would have met Marcus if I hadn’t, so no hard feelings, hey? We can still party.’
‘If you wanted to claim me, like you claimed those others girls, what was the point of letting me even meet Marcus?’ Riane protested.
I didn’t like to see him alone, and I had to make sure he liked you before I initiated you into our fold, Jasper explained. I knew Marcus wouldn’t have the guts to claim you himself, but once you’re with us, he’ll come round.
‘No, he won’t!’ Riane strongly disagreed. ‘He never came around after you took Bethany from him.’
He never got the chance … I went and killed myself and so did she!
‘But you’ve tried setting him up with a girl before, haven’t you?’ Riane was confident about this, although admittedly it was a theory. ‘You initiated Arabella with Marcus in mind, but he wouldn’t have a bar of her after she’d given herself to you.’
No … Jasper assured her, she just wasn’t his type is all. But this time I made sure you were to his liking, so I’m willing to take the risk if you are?
Riane rolled her eyes, as Jasper was impossible to try and talk round. ‘If Marcus wants me, he will come for me and I shall wait.’
Well, he’s a very moral lad, our Marcus. I daresay your wait will be in vain. Jasper gave her a despairing look and his smile became more sincere. And if you’re not claimed by Marcus or myself before you freeze to death in this hole, then, sadly, you’ll be on your own, my lovely. This, he motioned to the ruins around him, will be your home for all eternity, which you will spend in solitude. He gave her a wave and dissolved into the shadows of reality from whence he’d come.
The front wheel drive on the hire car was handling the slippery road conditions rather well. Still, the demister on the windshield wasn’t the best and thus Geoff grabbed a dirty T-shirt from his bag and gave the inside of the driver’s side window a wipe.
‘Not too much further to the village now,’ he said to himself, casting the wipe aside. ‘Shit!’
In the split second he’d taken his eyes off the road, a dark haired woman in white had suddenly appeared in his way.
Geoff swerved the car to miss her, and fully expecting to collide with a tree, he was surprised to find himself careering along a driveway.
By the time he regained control of the sliding vehicle and brought it to a stop, he was even more surprised to find another car parked outside the old ruins — perhaps it belonged to the woman he’d nearly hit?
Out of the car and gasping for breath to calm himself, Geoff ran back to the road to make sure the woman in white was unharmed, but she’d vanished without a trace. Even her footprints in the snow were absent. ‘Am I seeing things? This is too weird.’ He headed back to the cars; perhaps she’d sidetracked around him somehow and was back there.
Inside the car, Geoff found a handbag that looked vaguely familiar to him.
‘No wonder,’ he muttered, as he found Riane’s driver’s licence.
The rules of this suicide wish just seemed to get more and more complicated all the time. The absence of Marcus’s presence was his way of saying he wanted her to live. But surely he would claim her, if push came to shove, to save her from a grim eternal solitude?
What about how I feel about this? Don’t my wishes mean anything? She wanted to believe it was a test: that Marcus was just waiting until her final moments to claim her spirit to ensure she gave up life of her own will.
She hadn’t moved for a while and her breathing had become very shallow, as it hurt to take deep breaths of the icy air. In fact, it hurt to try to move. Please, Marcus, have mercy. I’m not leaving this place. I love you, only you and only ever you.
Riane was suddenly gripped by panic as it took several attempts for her to draw a tiny breath.
Call my name, lass, Jasper urged. You’re out of time and you know it.
Suddenly life seemed too precious to waste, damned in this harsh abode, but rather that than to become another of Jasper’s whores. Don’t let me be damned alone, my love. She no longer had the energy to fight the cold and fell unconscious, barely breathing.
The white waif stood on the moonlit cliff edge, gazing out over the site of her demise, her long dark hair and glistening white gown dancing in the temperate night wind.
The tall, dark man comes to stand at her side and they remain focused on the horizon. I want to thank you, Bethany, for helping get Riane out … she would have been lost if not for your intervention.
I did have more motive than just doi
ng you a favour … I was hoping that Riane’s love might set us both free of this curse. Bethany dared to look at the cause of her torment and spiritual entrapment.
The lord hung his head as her words touched a sore point. I’m sorry I locked you out, Bethany. Fate dealt us a formidable hand, and if I could do it all again I’d have forgiven you long ago. Understand that at the time, my grief consumed me. I thought I’d never love again but I was wrong about that. Marcus looked her in the face for the first time since that dreadful day of his homecoming. I don’t blame you for marrying Jasper, neither do I hold you responsible for his death. Our actions were our own, and I hold no malice toward you.
Thank you, Marcus, and bless you for seeing reason, she said, deeply gratified by his forgiveness. It is our understanding and compassion that sets us free.
The two spirits of Bethany and Marcus began to glow as their bodies filled with light. Could freedom be so simple? Marcus was overjoyed, briefly, before panic set in. What will become of Jasper?
Jasper’s situation became more complicated when he decided to take advantage of those dying women. If he can sacrifice his own pleasure and take responsibility for his actions he, too, can resume his place in the higher scheme of things.
Marcus did not appear hopeful of this happening in the near future. Perhaps the girls will come to their senses and reject him, and then Jasper will be forced to find a way beyond his Limbo. The lord’s light-filled body was losing definition. And what of Riane … is love always to elude me?
All things in creation are connected. If you can fall in love with this woman a century after your death, then surely finding her again is not so improbable. God speed you, Marcus MacCloud.
And you, Bethany MacGlen.
The two figures on the hilltop had reduced to nothing more than two masses of pure white light that swooped off in different directions.
A rush of warmth, and then Riane became aware of a body pressed close alongside hers.
You’re going to be just fine, my love, Marcus whispered. And so am I. Thank you for making it so.
At the sound of his voice Riane’s eyes darted open, to find she was being hugged close to him. ‘I was scared you wouldn’t come for me.’
‘Well, if I hadn’t been diverted off the road, I might not have found you in time.’
Riane gasped and pulled away. She wasn’t in Marcus’s study; she was back in the hotel room and it was Geoff and not her love that held her.
‘No,’ she sobbed, thwarted in her attempt to end her life. ‘The dream was real then.’ She found herself smiling, although it meant she would never see Marcus again — not in this life, anyway.
‘You’ve just had a very close call.’ Geoff moved closer to embrace and comfort her. ‘It’s okay, Riane.’
‘No, it’s not okay!’ She pulled away from him, and felt a little dizzy as she stood up. ‘What is it with men that they feel we women need saving all the time?’
‘Riane! I had to revive you!’ Geoff informed her from a kneeling position on the bed. ‘That was some really scary shit you put me through up there.’
‘Oooh!’ Riane just wished he’d leave so that she didn’t have to try and explain herself. Still, Geoff had said something of interest. ‘You were diverted off the road?’
‘Ah, yes.’ Geoff scratched his head, hesitant to speak of it. ‘By an anaemic-looking bride.’ He sank back into a seated position on the bed, very perplexed about the memory. ‘Who vacated the scene without a trace.’
‘Bethany,’ she mumbled. ‘That’s what Marcus meant when he thanked her for helping me.’ Riane drifted into a reverie as she realised that if she’d had her way, Marcus would still be damned and her along with him. When she looked back to Geoff, he was staring at her as if she was some sort of alien.
‘What is going on with you?’ He sounded disappointed that she was no longer the same doting female he had met a week before. Obviously, he thought the rescue would make him the ultimate hero in her eyes. ‘I just took leave in the middle of a tour to drive down here and save your life. And then you act like I’m not even here.’
Riane raised both her hands to hold her head — what to do about Geoff? ‘To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t think you want to know what’s going on with me. Unless, of course, you’re interested in ghosts.’ Geoff’s eyes widened until Riane feared they would fall out of their sockets.
‘Riane! I’m a tour guide, so of course I’m interested in ghosts.’ He reached out and gently took hold of her hand to encourage her to take a seat on the bed.
‘I’m not talking about the folklore kind of ghosts.’ Riane withdrew to take a seat on a chair. ‘I’m talking about the kind of ghosts that run cars off the road.’
Geoff immediately understood that she was referring to his anaemic bride. ‘Such ghosts become the legends of folklore, my friend. You think I’m not going to recount that story on the next tour?’ He smiled warmly, despite being given the brush-off. ‘Are ghosts the reason you returned to the ruins?’ he queried, cautiously.
‘I’m interested to know more about them,’ Riane conceded, avoiding the need to recount her tale, for it seemed too personal to be passed on to tourists.
‘Well, there’s a department of parapsychology at Edinburgh University. Maybe you should go see them?’ he suggested.
Riane gave a half-laugh, as the idea had a real appeal. ‘Maybe I will.’ Bethany had predicted Riane would find her true calling in life … if lived out, that is. Perhaps parapsychology was it?
‘No offence, Riane, but you look as though you could use a few more hours rest.’ Geoff vacated the bed and made for the door, sensing that she needed time alone. ‘I’m going to stay the night, so, when you’re feeling recovered, should you feel like telling your tale to someone, come and find me. I promise I won’t think it absurd. After all, I saw Bethany, too.’ He smiled, sincerely.
‘Thanks for saving me,’ Riane blurted out before he closed the door behind himself. ‘I really was losing it and if it hadn’t been for you I could have made a disastrous error.’
Geoff seemed to appreciate that his efforts were finally being acknowledged. ‘You could return the favour by letting me buy you dinner.’
Riane really didn’t want to complicate her newly-restored life with a relationship right now, but Geoff wasn’t flirting with her in the same fashion as when last they had met. Maybe he had got the message and was simply interested in hearing about her ghosts. ‘Only if dinner is my shout,’ she said finally, deciding that she would only tell him enough to satisfy his curiosity.
‘Even better,’ he granted and with a wave, he let her be.
The bed looked terribly inviting, although it was not a huge, ornate four-poster. Riane slid under the covers and curled up in the centre. All alone is not so bad when you know you’ve got somewhere to go. A sudden rush of excitement passed through her as she thought about the future — about having a future. And, thanks to her, two other tortured souls had a future, too. How happy must they feel tonight? she delighted herself imagining, as she snuggled into sleep.
For the first time in her adult life, Riane was contented to be warmed by her own body heat.
Lisa
The dancer — my other listener
Curses
I MET LISA when I was still working in retail. She was employed at a coffee shop close by the record shop where I worked. As I drink copious amounts of tea every day, Lisa got to know me fairly quickly. Within days she was making my tea to taste and that made her a goddess in my eyes.
I could tell the second I laid eyes on Lisa that she was a ballet dancer. I think it was the long, thick blonde hair, plastered back off her face in an immaculately tidy bun that really gave her away. I had studied jazz and creative dance for ten years or so — pre the arrival of boys in my life — so I could recognise a dancer from a mile off. Lisa had the poise of movement, the turned-out walk and could be seen doing stretching exercises whenever she had a spare second.
&nb
sp; Lisa soon joined the ‘wish to get out of retail and get famous club’ that Claire-Bear, Mandy and myself had secretly formed during our smoke breaks.
It was Lisa’s desire to make a living out of dancing. She was teaching at a ballet school at that time, but having never performed with a professional company she felt too inexperienced to really earn her keep teaching dance. She had also never experimented with any kind of dance outside of classical ballet and jazz. And with a full-time job keeping her on her feet all day, and teaching ballet classes after work on most weekdays and Saturday, Lisa had little spare time to pursue other aspirations.
Like Karen, Lisa always made time to come around to my place to listen to me read instalments of my stories. At the end of each reading session, Lisa always insisted on knowing what was going to happen next in the story. As I’d outline my vague idea to her, more of the story would reveal itself, and I was thankful for someone to bounce ideas off.
When Claire, Mandy and I all left our steady jobs to pursue our own goals, it wasn’t long before Lisa followed suit. But not one to do anything by halves, Lisa got rid of everything that wasn’t working in her life. She quit her job, broke off the relationship she was involved in, moved house and resigned most of her duties at the ballet school. She found a casual job that paid well, and was attending various classes at several dance companies.
Lisa first began dance lessons after she quit university, which in dance circles made her a very late bloomer. She envied me learning dance as a youngster, and feared her age would prevent her getting the professional experience she craved. Lisa’s dance style and technique improved ‘out of sight’ in the years that followed, as did her choreography for the jazz class she was teaching. Still she was not making any headway toward professional dance experience. It was around this time that Lisa’s mother unexpectedly died, which hit Lisa very hard. She was on the point of giving up on her dream and seeking full-time work again, when, out of the blue, one of her dance friends offered her the opportunity to perform in ‘Bodies’ a major contemporary recital that is held every year in Sydney.