Nicole was shaking. Stephan was talking to her, but he sounded far away. In her mind she was reliving what Dominic had said and fighting back the fear that she could lose her brother again.
Abby looked at Stephan. “We can’t work this out for them, Stephan. No matter how much we want to.” She took one of Nicole’s hands in hers. “Nicole, Dominic loves you. He’s not angry with you, he’s angry with himself. As hard as it is to imagine, inside that man is a young boy who wanted to save you and your mother from your father and failed. That’s what he hates. That’s why he’s afraid to look back. You’re about to become a mother. Not everything your child says to you will be kind, but you have to be strong enough to love them through that. Learn that skill here. Dominic needs you right now. He can’t ask you to be there for him. He doesn’t know how. He’s hurting as much as you are. Go in there and give him a hug. I promise you it’s what you both need.”
Stephan opened his mouth but held his thought to himself when Abby raised a hand and said, “Trust me on this one. Please.”
Nicole clasped her hands in front of her. “He won’t want to talk to me.”
Abby looked at the door Dominic had walked out of. “So don’t say anything. Just give him a hug.”
Nicole met her husband’s eyes. He was angry. He was worried. He wanted to tell her not to go, but he also knew how important her brother was to her. In that moment Nicole saw the strength of Stephan’s love. Words were easy to say, but he put his pride and his anger aside for her.
Nicole squared her shoulders and nodded. She had always relied on Dominic to be the strong one. Maybe change would only come when their roles flipped. She walked out the door of the dining room and saw Dominic standing near his desk in his office. Without saying a word, Nicole walked to him and wrapped her arms around him. His arms instantly came up to embrace her, and he hugged her tightly.
In the past Nicole would have said something. She would have tried to fix what was broken between them, but she heeded Abby’s advice. She hugged him back and let her questions and insecurities fall away. She wasn’t turning to him for help or feeling scared he would leave her. This time, if only for a moment, she was the strong one.
He dropped his arms and stepped back. “I’m sorry, Nicole. I know what you want, but—”
Nicole saw her brother through Abby’s eyes, and it was a revelation. Dominic wasn’t saying no because he didn’t want to be with her. He was saying no because he was afraid. Fear was something she understood far too well. She touched his arm gently. “I get it now. It’s okay.”
“No. Stephan was right. I didn’t have to say no the way I did. I don’t want you to think—”
“I know you love me, Dom. I love you. That’s all that matters.”
Dominic looked away as he spoke. “I hate him, and I hate who I am because of him.”
Nicole didn’t have to ask who he was talking about. Dominic only hated one man—their father. Nicole put her arms around her brother again. Abby’s insight into Dominic helped shape what Nicole said next. “We are more than what he did to us, Dom. You are more than whatever you regret doing. You have a temper. I’m a nervous wreck. So what? You have an amazing wife and a beautiful daughter. I have a man I love so much it hurts and a child on the way. Instead of looking back at everything we did wrong, can we remember some of what we did right? This year, I’m going to give you something that is technically already yours and you are going to love it. And I want you to give me something that is already mine. That’s it. That’s all I want for Christmas. Can you do that?”
Dominic relaxed. “Yes, I can.”
Nicole took her brother by the arm and together they walked back into the dining room. Abby and Stephan were both carefully quiet.
Judy rushed back into the room. “Mom, Miss Jan said the yogurt isn’t ready. Can we have cake instead?”
“Sure,” Abby said without taking her eyes off Dominic.
Judy’s jaw dropped open. “Yes?” She looked to her father for confirmation. “Really?”
“Whatever you want, Judy, just go get it,” Abby said.
Judy hesitated. “It’s a school night. Are you sure you want me to have all that sugar?”
Abby turned to look at her daughter. “What did you say?”
Judy’s eyes rounded innocently. “Nothing. Dad, you heard her, she said yes.”
Dominic stared at Judy for a moment, then a smile spread across his face. “She did. Why don’t you have Miss Jan bring out cake for everyone?” He walked over and slid an arm around Abby’s waist. “Thank you.”
Nicole watched her brother and his wife exchange a few more words quietly, and it warmed her heart. Stephan came up behind Nicole and wrapped his arms around her. “Did you work things out?”
Nicole nodded. “We did.”
“Are we getting together for Christmas?”
Nicole leaned back against Stephan, loving how safe he made her feel. “I don’t know, but I’m not worried about it anymore. Abby was right; he needed a hug.”
Stephan made a sound in his throat but didn’t disagree. “I’m sorry I flew at him like that. I don’t know what came over me.”
Nicole hugged his arms closer around her. In a voice low enough so Abby and Dominic couldn’t hear, Nicole said, “Don’t knock down Dominic’s house on Isola Santos. I want to give it to him for Christmas.”
“How about we demolish it, but build him a new one? It’s an eyesore.”
In the past, Nicole would have relented, worried if she said what she really wanted, Stephan would be angry. Embracing her faults, though, was helping her overcome them. “Dominic built that house, and it’s beautiful to him. This will show him we accept him the way he is.”
“We couldn’t just get a card that says that?” Stephan joked.
Nicole elbowed him.
“Okay. Okay. I’ll call off the demolition. But when you’re standing on your beautiful Italian balcony and all you can see is a reflection of yourself in the enormous glass windows of his home, it’s on you.”
Nicole turned her head to kiss Stephan’s cheek. “I love you.”
He turned his head so their lips met briefly. “I love you, too. Any chance you want to be the one to explain this to Gio?”
Later that night Dominic and Abby stood in the doorway of Judy’s bedroom, watching her sleep. Dominic tucked his wife into his side and said, “I didn’t think she’d ever fall asleep.”
“That’s what we get for giving her cake so late in the day.”
Giving in to the temptation to tease her, Dominic said, “Who said yes?”
Abby swatted his chest. “I was distracted by all the testosterone. I thought you and Stephan were going to wrestle each other to the floor.”
“I would have won,” Dominic said, and earned himself another swat. He didn’t care. He grabbed Abby’s hand, brought it to his mouth and kissed it. “Nicole wants me to give her something that’s already hers. We used to do that when we were kids.”
“I know. She told me the story.”
“I was an ass tonight. I should have agreed to celebrate Christmas with them.”
“You weren’t ready to. I think Nicole understands that now.”
“How did I end up with such a wise wife?”
Abby shot him a cheeky smile. “You were that good in bed.”
His eyebrows shot up in pleased surprise. “I figured as much.”
“So, what are you going to give Nicole?”
“I don’t know.”
Abby chewed her bottom lip for a moment in an uncharacteristic moment of uncertainty. “I have an idea, but I don’t know if it’s a good one.”
Dominic studied her face for a long moment. He knew that expression. Whatever she was about to say was something she’d been thinking about for a while. “Just say it.”
“Do you remember that box Nicole found in your father’s things? She wouldn’t open it because she was too afraid of what would be inside it. You wouldn’t open it for th
e same reason—”
“I’m not—”
“I know. But the box has been in the attic for years now. Stephan said she still visits your father’s grave.”
“I didn’t know Nicole—”
“She does. She always has. She’s just too afraid to tell you. I know you say you hate your father, Dom, but Nicole loved him. What if there is something in that box she would want?”
Dominic tensed at the mere thought of looking at something his father had owned. “There is nothing in there I want to see.”
“I peeked inside, Dom. There is an envelope addressed to both you and Nicole.”
He didn’t blame her for being curious because she’d never met the piece of work that was his father. “If I know him it’s some sick document claiming that Nicole and I aren’t even . . .”
“Even what?”
“My father was a bastard. He’d do or say anything to hurt us, even from the grave.”
Abby hugged him. “He can’t hurt you anymore, no matter what is in that envelope. You need to prove that to yourself. Open the box. Tear open that envelope. Don’t let your father define you.”
Dominic didn’t promise anything, but Abby’s suggestion came back to him several times the next day. Every time he thought about his sister, he wondered what he could possibly give her for Christmas, and then an image of the box would fill his head.
He waited until both Abby and Judy were sleeping and retrieved the box from the attic. He took it to his office and set it on his desk.
Abby was right. His father couldn’t hurt him or his family anymore. No matter what was in the box, it wouldn’t change anything. He removed the cover and picked up the envelope addressed to Nicole and him. Instead of opening it, he walked to the fireplace and held it above the flames. I don’t care about you or whatever you wanted me to know.
The paper on the envelope darkened, but Dominic pulled it back from the flames before it caught fire. He tore it open. Inside was a handwritten letter from his father.
Dominic,
Thomas Brogos just left with my new will. The doctors say I don’t have much time left and something about facing death has made me rethink a few things.
My father was a vicious drunk. I’m not saying that as an excuse, it’s merely a fact. There is a rage inside of me I’ve never successfully contained. I fear I’ve passed that rage down to you.
I would apologize, but there was never anything my father could have said that would have made me hate him less. I hated who he was and the man I became because of him.
Dominic dropped the letter to the desk as if stung by it. He’d spent most of his life afraid he would become his father and there, in black and white, were his own words written by his father. With a shaking hand, Dominic picked the letter back up and continued to read it.
I thought I had it all, but in the end I drove my wife away, made my son an enemy, and watched my daughter cry tears for a father who had done nothing to earn her love.
Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t bequeath your rage to your children. Let it die with me.
I can’t go back and undo anything I’ve done. I can’t be the father you should have had, but I can do one thing right. You and your sister would have been closer if it weren’t for me. I’m leaving the company to her under the stipulation that you run it for a year. Use that year wisely. Find your way back to being a family.
She’s angry with you, Dominic, but you were not the one who failed her. That was me. Forgive her, no matter what she says to you. Forgive yourself, no matter how many times you look in the mirror and see me.
Nicole,
Don’t hate your brother for what I did to both of you. Don’t hate your mother for leaving. The weight of all of that rests on my shoulders alone.
You stayed by me when everyone else left. I know you think I didn’t care about you, but I had to pull away, otherwise I would have hurt you, too.
Take this time with your brother to get to know each other again. Forgive him. There is darkness in his heart, but I put it there.
You’re still here with me, Nicole. I could tell you this in person instead of writing it down, but there is too much I’d have to say. I’m sorry I am taking the easy way out.
I loved you both. My greatest regret is that I will die without either of you knowing it or being better because of it.
Your father
Dominic tucked the letter into the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket and replaced the cover to the box. His mind was racing as he replayed the letter over and over again in his head.
His father had given in to the rage within him, and it had destroyed not only him, but his family as well. Dominic would never lay a hand on his wife or his child, but he was at times ruled by the anger within him.
He stood in his office with his hands clenched. A confusing mix of emotions swirled within him. He didn’t want to pity his father. He wanted to hate him, but hadn’t it been hate that had made his father into who he was?
A small hand closed around Dominic’s. He looked down to see Judy had taken his hand in hers. “Dad, are you okay?”
He forced a smile and picked her up. “What are you doing up?”
“I had a nightmare.”
“Me, too,” Dominic said to himself.
“I dreamed everyone was fighting.”
That sounds about right, Dominic thought but didn’t say aloud.
Judy patted her father’s face with her hands. “What did you dream about?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Mom says that talking about bad dreams makes them go away. You don’t want to have the dream again, do you? You’d better tell me.”
Dominic kissed his daughter’s forehead. “I dreamed I did something to make Auntie Nicole sad, and I didn’t know how to make it right.”
Judy smiled. “That’s easy, what does she want for Christmas? Give it to her now. Everyone loves presents.”
Dominic thought about it and laughed at the simplicity of Judy’s solution. “You’re a genius, Judy.”
“I know,” Judy said with a huge smile. Then she frowned and asked, “What’s a genius?”
Chapter Five
Nicole looked out the window of their private plane as it circled Isola Santos, the Andrades’ private island. “You’re really not going to tell me what my surprise is?”
“I’m really not,” Stephan answered.
“But we had to come all the way here to get it?”
“We did.”
“It’s dangerous to mess with a pregnant woman’s emotions. I’d rather just know what we’re doing here.”
Stephan gave her hand a squeeze. “You’ve made it this far. I can’t tell you now.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss. “Trust me.”
“I do,” Nicole answered without hesitation. In the past week, Stephan had proven to her again and again that she was a priority to him. He’d attended doctor appointments, gone shopping for baby items with her, and hovered over her, making sure she wanted for nothing.
He’d suggested they not go to his family that Christmas, but Nicole had had a change of heart. She couldn’t imagine missing an Andrade holiday. And if she and her brother could only connect at a gathering like that, then so be it. She would meet him where he needed to be.
Stephan’s announcement that they needed to fly to his family’s island the weekend before Christmas had come as a surprise. He wasn’t saying why, but Nicole guessed it had something to do with the talk they’d had about how she wanted to start family traditions of their own. Or he simply wanted her to see their completed home on the island.
The plane landed and as they stepped out onto the runway Nicole noticed Dominic’s plane on the other runway. She wrapped her coat tighter around her against the cold island wind. “Is my brother here?”
Stephan’s chest puffed with pride. “He and his family flew in this morning. I hope you don’t mind, but I had our home decked out for the holiday. Next year we can come earl
y and decorate.”
Nicole’s eyes filled with happy tears. “How did you get him to come?”
Stephan guided Nicole up the steps of their new home. “He called me. He said he had a present for you. I told him you had something for him, but he’d have to fly here to get it.”
Just outside their new front door Nicole threw her arms around Stephan’s neck. “Every time I think I couldn’t love you more, you find a way to make me fall in love with you all over again.” She kissed him deeply. In that moment everything else fell away and it was just Nicole and the man she loved. The passion she’d always felt for him was there, pulsing within her, but years together had given it a depth she’d never imagined. She didn’t just want him; she needed him. His touch, his body thrusting into hers, was as vital to her as the air she was raggedly taking in. She writhed against him, digging her hands into his hair. “Do you think we have time before they come over?”
Stephan took out his phone and sent a quick text. “We do now.” He opened the door, swung her up into his arms, and carried her over the threshold.
Nicole kissed his neck and laughed as he took the steps two at a time. “What did you say?”
He lowered her to her feet just inside a large bedroom. “I told them we’d see them at six.”
Nicole buried her face in his shoulder. “Do you think they know?”
Stephan took a clip out of the back of Nicole’s hair and released it. “Do you care?”
She shook her head. “My goal for the new year is to be more honest about what I want.”
A lusty smile spread across her husband’s face. “I like that.”
Nicole would describe their sex life as healthy and heated, but she didn’t often take the lead in the bedroom. She enthusiastically went where he took her, but she had fantasies she’d never dared voice. “Do you? What else do you like?”
His eyes burned with passion for her. “I love the feel of your lips around my cock. I love burying myself deeply inside you as you call out my name.”
Nicole ran a hand down Stephan’s chest and cupped his erection. She said something she’d never dared to before. “You’ll have to earn those pleasures this time.”