Jimmy held his eyes for a long moment, the only defiance he could offer, though he knew the truth of his son’s words.
So he nodded once.
And when Dillon walked away, he didn’t look back.
Kat was racing again.
It wasn’t something she was proud of. In fact, she was disgusted and disappointed. She’d get them caught.
But she had to. Just once. Once would be enough.
It would be enough to erase the pain and loneliness. It would be enough to fill her with purpose instead of resentment. It would set her right, make her forget about Eric, about Kiki, about Dillon. It would shake the defeat that followed her, pressed itself against her, pinned her down.
The second she pulled up to the light for the race, she felt better. There was one place she could always win, and it was at the finish line.
She gripped the wheel, gripped her gearshift. The pedals under her feet and the rumble of her car all around her brought her back to center, back to the ground, back to herself.
When the light turned green, she was released, flying down the street, her hand shifting gears in perfect time to her foot on the clutch, the hum of her engine felt all the way to her heart.
She won by a margin large enough to be indisputable and pulled up to the meet spot, the Brooklyn Bridge looming and East River licking at the banks, stuffing her Sig in the back of her jeans out of habit.
When she stepped out, the cool air skated off the water and across her face. She felt relaxed for the first time since she’d left Dillon’s the day before.
Charlie, the promoter, walked up with a smile on his face and pulled an envelope out of his coat pocket. “Another one bites the dust.” He turned his back to the small crowd and glanced over his shoulder. “Hey, listen, watch out for this guy. He thinks his balls are huge. I say it’s just his mouth is all, but you can never be sure.”
She smiled at him and looked over at Mr. Big Balls. “Thanks, Charlie. I’ll keep an eye out.”
The man in question slammed his fists on his dash before stepping out of the car. “She fucking cheated,” he said as he hurried over, punctuating the sentence with the jab of his finger.
Kat hung a hand on her hip. “You checked my car out yourself.”
“There’s no way you just beat me! It makes no fucking sense unless you cheated, lied, something.”
“Well, there must be a way because here we are. But you seem awfully sure of yourself. Something you’re not telling us?”
He sputtered, face red. “The fuck are you accusing me of?”
She couldn’t even be smug. He was lying. He’d done something; that was suddenly very clear.
So instead she said nothing, narrowing her eyes as she slipped into her car and popped the hood, opening it to check her engine.
“What the fuck is this?” he blathered. “I don’t have to put up with this shit.”
“Hang on to him, Charlie,” she said.
A couple of guys grabbed him, and he jerked and thrashed against them.
Kat held a little flashlight in her mouth as she scanned for something amiss. Everything looked fine, except …
She reached for a hose that looked off, pulling it to see it had been disconnected.
And then she laughed, holding the end of it up in display.
“You pulled the wrong one, dipshit.”
But Charlie wasn’t laughing, and neither was Big Balls.
“You done fucked that up, Roy. Should have let it go, and now you’ve gotten yourself banned. We race fair, and I don’t deal with liars or snitches.”
“Come on, Charlie,” Roy wailed, neck flushed and straining. “I’ve known you ten years, and you’re gonna take this little bitch’s word over mine? I didn’t fucking do that!”
Charlie stepped into his space. “I told you, I don’t deal with liars, and I know them when I see them. They’ve got a certain way about them. Wouldn’t you agree, Kat?”
“Something in the eyes,” she added helpfully.
“This gonna be a problem, Roy?”
But Roy seemed to know he was through, shaking the guys off and standing on his own. “Not for you. But for you, I got no promises. This shit ain’t over.”
She said nothing, just watched him with steely eyes. She wasn’t afraid of the big, bad wolf.
His nostrils flared — the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. For a second, she thought his eyes were glowing, but then he blinked, and they were normal again.
“I said it’s not over, and I mean it.”
He turned and walked away, and the ranks closed around her, congratulating her, offering her stories about Roy and how full of shit he was. It was strange. Everyone usually disappeared like smoke, but they’d rallied around her until Roy was gone.
That alone had her more worried than anything.
When the excitement died down, she walked around her car, stopping when she heard her name.
Her surprise when she turned around sent off an SOS in her mind.
It was Louie, who was either no one of consequence or a linchpin who would bring her whole plan down, depending on where you were standing. Which, for Kat, was right in the middle.
The old bookie from Vegas donned a Cuban guayabera shirt that hugged his paunch a little too tight. He squinted at her in disbelief, running a hand through his silver hair.
She strutted over to him, trying to play it cool, though her heart thumped painfully against her ribs, her thoughts speeding and tangling together. “Hey, Louie. What the hell are you doing all the way out here?”
“I could ask you the same thing, Kitty Kat.”
She smiled at him, her teeth grinding together behind her lips at the use of her nickname. For a while, she’d tried to get everyone to stop, but it only seemed to encourage them.
Kat shoved her hands in her pockets and dropped her shoulders. “Just looking for a change of scenery.”
“I wondered why I hadn’t seen you around. I saw your car and thought, Nah, it couldn’t be Kat. But here you are.” He jingled his change in his pocket. “I’m here on a little vacation. Heading back to Vegas in a couple of days.”
“What else are you betting on? Just races?”
“No, had some high-stakes poker tourneys to go to and a few fights. There’s a kid out here everybody’s talking about. People are coming from all over to see him fight. They call him Diamond Dillon, you heard of him? He’s got a tattoo of a diamondback wound round his arm, and when he punches, it looks like it’s hungry for dinner.” Louie shadowboxed and made hissing noises through his teeth.
Her heart hitched. “Yeah, I think I’ve heard of him. Guess I’m not surprised you’d know him too. Every bookie loves a sure thing.”
“That we do, rare as it is. Throw money in, and the sure thing’s never so sure. Everybody’s got a price. But that kid can’t lose. And he’d better not — at least not until I’m back in Vegas,” he said on a chuckle.
The conversation lulled, and she thought to ask him to keep seeing her on the low. But then again, she didn’t want to tip him off. If she acted off and he mentioned it to anyone, it could get back to Eric. But if she said nothing, he would definitely mention it to someone, especially if people were wondering where she’d been.
She had to speak up. So she did. “Listen, do me a favor, will you?”
“Yeah, sure, kid.”
“Don’t mention you saw me. Sometimes a girl needs a fresh start, you know?”
He seemed to respect that, smiling amiably. “Yeah, sure. I get it.”
She smiled back, breathing a little easier. “It’s good seeing you.”
“You too, Kitty Kat. I’ll see you around.”
Kat walked back to her car and started her engine with trembling hands, wishing the night — which had started off normal enough — hadn’t taken such a weird turn. Everything felt off again, the effects of the race gone with a whisper, a threat, her name from the lips of someone who could push the first domino.
r /> But there was nothing to be done. Nothing but wait.
She drove away, soul-worn and dejected, deciding halfway home that she needed a drink. So she turned corners too tight and drove a little too fast until she turned into the alley behind MacLennan’s.
The bar wasn’t busy, but it wasn’t dead. Jerry, the owner, stood behind the bar with his stocky arms propped on its surface, smiling at her from behind his shaggy gray beard. He ran a hand through his longish silver hair as he walked to where she sat near the end of the bar.
“Hey, Kat. What are you doin’ in here on your night off?”
“I could really use a drink.”
He raised a gray eyebrow. “Well, all right then. What’s your pleasure?”
“Shot of tequila.”
“I see you mean business.” Jerry grabbed a bottle of Herradura and poured a shot.
She kicked it back as he reached for a lime, his fingers falling back to the bar.
“Want to talk about it?”
Wouldn’t it be nice, she wondered, to talk to someone? To tell someone the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. To admit it all — from Eric to Dillon to that moment and everywhere in between. To lighten the burden just by knowing she wasn’t alone in carrying the knowledge.
But it was hers alone. For the time at least. She wished for the end and dreaded it, knowing it wouldn’t be easy.
Endings never were.
“It’ll be all right. Thanks, Jerry.” She slid the shot glass across the bar along with a twenty.
He waved her off. “It’s on me.” With a wink, he left her alone, moving down the bar to take orders.
Kat sat for a moment, staring at the rows of liquor in front of the mirrored wall, surprised when she caught her reflection. Dark half-moons nestled against dull eyes, and her skin was washed out like rice paper.
She looked exhausted.
It was all too much, the isolation. It was as if the secret were eating her up from the inside, chewing through her soul. Maybe there’d be nothing left by the time it was over. Maybe it wouldn’t be over until she was dead.
She pushed away from the bar, not at all ready to get home to her sister. But she’d been gone long enough.
Jerry waved at her as she walked away. “See ya, kid.”
Kat smiled and stuffed her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket, pushing the door open with her back. The temperature had dropped in the short time she was in the bar, and as she walked toward the alley, her eyes widened, mouth opening slowly in wonderment.
Fat, heavy snowflakes fell, spread out at first, but within seconds, they were so thick, the sound whirred in her ears as they rushed down.
In seconds, they dusted the pavement, covering it almost completely.
Snow was a thing of myth and fable where she had grown up in Las Vegas. She’d seen it a few times but nothing like this.
She stood, mesmerized, on the sidewalk, face tilted up for a moment, and then she opened her hand and watched the flakes as they shrank in the warmth they found there.
Kat giggled, all of a sudden five years old again with no worries, no cares, no troubles. And the only thing she wanted in the whole world was to share the moment with her sister.
She trotted around the building and into the alley, her boots crunching the fallen snow as she made her way down the narrow passage to her car. But as she slipped her key into the lock and turned, a hand covered her mouth and pulled her into his chest.
There was no time to scream, and she wouldn’t have dared. Not with his knife pressed to the soft hollow under her jaw.
“I told you it wasn’t over.”
Roy.
“Let’s start with the money.”
Her nostrils flared, his hand damp against her lips, her heart jackhammering as one hand reached for her pocket where she’d put the cash as the other moved for her gun, still in the band of her jeans. He was too stupid to focus on anything but the money.
His mistake.
She pulled the gun, angling her hips away from him to give herself room to turn the nose up and press it into his belly, her wrist screaming in protest.
He’d nicked her, either from her movement or from his surprise. A drop of blood rolled down her neck. She didn’t feel the cut at all.
Not that it mattered.
It wasn’t until she unlocked the safety that his hands disappeared.
Kat pivoted to face him, gun trained on his right eye. “You stupid motherfucker. You picked the wrong girl to fuck with.”
His hands were up in surrender, and he backed away, the snow falling around them like a tipped over snow globe. Every step he took back, she matched, keeping the distance between them at status quo.
“Stay away. Do one smart thing in your life and stay away. Because if you don’t, I will fuck you up beyond all recognition.” She kept his pace still. “If I ever hear you tried to fuck somebody out of what they’d rightfully won from you, I’ll hunt you down.” He stumbled as he backed away. She didn’t stop. “And just in case you’re as stupid as I think you are, you should know you that my father is Tanaka Katsu.”
His eyes went wide.
“Good. I see you’ve heard of him. So I won’t bother explaining what he would do to you if you lost your fucking senses again.” She lowered her gun. “Now get the fuck out of here.”
And Roy cut and ran, slipping on the snowy pavement in his haste, leaving handprints in the snow.
Kat set the safety and climbed into her car, gun in her lap. She caught sight of her reflection in the rearview — a slice of black hair spotted with snowflakes, pupils so big she could barely see the color of her irises, cheeks red from the cold and adrenaline.
With trembling hands, she slid her key into the ignition and drove to her apartment like hell itself was on her heels, the snow all but forgotten.
By the time she got to the apartment, she was calmer, only by a degree. The apartment was dark and quiet, and she made her way inside, hanging her key on the hook and shrugging off her jacket. She hung it on a chair, though not before she retrieved the envelope. She thumbed the bills inside. It was enough to take care of them for a month or more.
That race hadn’t been worth the trouble.
“I thought you weren’t racing?”
Kat jumped, finding Kiki leaning on the bar in the dark. “Jesus, you scared me.”
“What’s with the cash?” she asked quietly.
Kat stuffed the envelope into her back pocket, not at all in the mood to talk. “Not now.”
“You make an awfully big deal about Eric, even to the point that you blow off a guy you obviously care about, and then you go race and open yourself — and me, since you seem to be so worried about me — up to getting found out. Just a little contradictory, that’s all.”
“I said, don’t,” Kat warned. “Just drop it.”
But Kiki just crossed her arms.
“Need to get something off your chest?” Kat snapped.
Still no response.
So she took a deep breath and let it out, storming to the dining room table, mouth twisted in a scowl. She sat at the head, crossing her arms right back at her sister with her lips drawn in a scowl and switchblades for eyes.
“Go ahead and unload then since it’s all about you.”
Kiki marched over to stand in front of her. “God, you are such a pain in the ass, you know that? You act like you’re so fucking tough. You act like I’m a burden.”
Kat opened her mouth to protest, but Kiki put a hand out.
“You told me to unload. Don’t interrupt me.”
Kat closed her mouth, lips flat.
“You love to say you’re worried about Eric, but you’ve got everybody back home watching him. Thirty people would call you if he left town. You say you’re worried about Dad, but he doesn’t know shit because, if he did, we would know. We would all know. I saw you with Dillon, I know you care about him. So, tell me. Why? Why did you blow him off? And don’t you dare tell me yo
u’re not into him, because we all know that’s a fucking lie.”
Kat laughed, the sound dry and hot as the desert in August. “You still think this is about Dillon.” With a still-trembling hand, she scrubbed her face.
Kiki’s face quirked in frustration and confusion. “Well, what the fuck else would we be talking about?”
“Eric.”
“But he’s not that stupid. God, I don’t know why you’re such a psycho about this. He hit me. We left. It’s over.”
“It’s not over,” Kat shot. “It’s not fucking over because Eric is not through. You want to know why I left Dillon’s? Why I told him I couldn’t do this? When I woke, my phone had blown up with messages that he was asking around, acting crazy. You’re naive if you think he’s given up. He’s just biding his time. And if he shows up when I’m with Dillon? Where are you? Who’s taking care of you? Who will save you from Eric? Because if he finds you with Owen, he will kill you both.”
Kiki sank into a chair with her hands on her lips. “Oh my God.”
“You’ve been so worried about Eric’s life, but what about Owen’s? Because just by being with him, you’re putting him in danger too. This isn’t about Dillon, for fuck’s sake. It’s about you.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, her eyes shining with tears. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Kat shook her head, deflated and stretched out and exhausted. “Because I wanted to see if there was merit to any of it. I didn’t want to worry you if there wasn’t just cause.”
“Was there? Just cause?”
Kat nodded. “There was enough.”
“What are we going to do?” she asked softly. In that moment, she looked very small.
“I don’t know.” The words were empty, hollow.
Kiki watched her hands resting on the table through a long minute. “What if I told Dad?”
Kat stared at her, unmoving. “That would change everything.”
“Owen would be safe,” she said, still not meeting Kat’s eyes. “You wouldn’t have to worry.”
“Don’t do this for me.”
“Not just for you. For all of us. Even me. I’ll call Dad. I’ll tell him everything.” Kiki’s eyes brimmed with tears, and when she blinked, they fell without touching her cheeks. “This is all my fault. I thought … I really thought …” Her breath shuddered.