“N-now is convenient,” she managed to stutter. It wasn’t, but she’d have an ulcer if she put this off.
Catherine joined her in the kitchen but kept an eye on the ice-cream counter in case a customer came in.
“You aren’t going to quit, are you?” Shana asked point-blank. Catherine had quickly become her friend and confidante. “Because if you do, I’m throwing in the towel right now.”
Catherine brushed aside her concern with a wave of her hand. “Of course I’m not quitting. I love my job.”
Relief washed over her, and Shana reached out to hug the other woman. “I’m so grateful…I don’t think I could take much more.”
“That’s one of the reasons I thought we should talk,” Catherine said. “I don’t mean to put my nose where it doesn’t belong, but like I said when you interviewed me, I worked in the school cafeteria for almost fifteen years. We were a close-knit group and were able to discuss everything with one another.”
“I want you to feel free to do the same here,” Shana assured her.
A smile relaxed the older woman’s features, and Shana could see that she’d been worried. “Okay. I have a couple of ideas I’d like to try out, so we can take ice-cream requests in a more orderly fashion,” Catherine said, “but I understand this is your business and I won’t take offense if you don’t think they’ll work.”
“Anything you can suggest would be appreciated,” Shana told her. “You’re my most important asset, and I want you to know that.”
“I wrote everything out for you to read at your leisure,” Catherine said, handing her an envelope.
Shana tucked it inside her apron pocket. “Please feel free to share any ideas you have with me,” she said. “I’m interested in all your suggestions.”
Catherine positively beamed at the praise. “Now, I don’t want you to get the notion that I’m taking over the shop or being dictatorial,” she said.
That notion was laughable. “I’d never have survived the last couple of weekends without you and your husband.”
Catherine’s eyes brightened at the mention of her husband. “Louis had the time of his life.”
They’d been wonderful with the customers and reminded Shana of the Olsens, who’d owned the shop for all those years. Catherine and Louis were so natural with children and treated everyone like family. Shana envied their ability, and knew this kind of friendliness was a big reason her customers returned over and over again. She’d been fortunate to hire Catherine, and Louis was a bonus…and a darling.
“You know who to call if you want another day off.” Catherine smiled. “In fact, Louis said if you’re ever looking to sell, we’d like the right of first refusal, but I told him you’d just bought the business and it wasn’t likely you’d be interested in selling.”
“No, but I’ll certainly keep that in mind.” Shana had invested her entire financial future in this shop. So far, she was meeting payroll and keeping her head above water, but this was her busy season. The Olsens had warned her that the winter months could be a fiscal challenge. Shana hoped to find ways to stay afloat when the weather was dreary. Ice-cream sales would decrease in winter, but she hoped the pizza part of the business would continue to flourish. Thankfully, Lincoln Park was much-used year round.
“Also,” Catherine added, sounding hesitant. “I know this isn’t any of my concern, but it seems to me you haven’t been yourself the last few days.”
So it was that obvious.
“Is there a problem?” the other woman asked gently, in the same way Ali might have done had she been there. Trading e-mails was better than nothing but they weren’t a substitute for face-to-face communication.
Shana slumped against the wall and automatically shook her head. For three nights straight, she hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours. When she did manage to drift off, she dreamed of Adam and then woke tired and depressed.
“Man troubles?” Catherine asked. “You don’t need to tell me, not unless you want. But sometimes just talking things out with someone else can help.”
Shana nodded, reflecting that the school district had lost a wonderful employee. In Shana’s opinion, Catherine was much too young to retire.
“It’s just that, well…this is complicated.” Shana wasn’t sure how to explain without going into more detail than necessary.
“Does this have to do with Brad or Adam?” Catherine prompted.
Shana’s mouth fell open. “How do you know about Brad?” Her eyes narrowed and she answered her own question. It could only be her niece. “Jazmine.”
Catherine nodded, folding her hands. She looked about as guilty as a woman can. “Jazmine and I are friends, and the truth of it is, she confided in me because she’s worried about you.”
“She is, is she?” Shana couldn’t wait to ask Jazmine about this.
“Jazmine is a dear girl and she meant well,” Catherine said immediately.
“Who else has she told?” Shana demanded. Apparently her heart-to-heart with her niece hadn’t been as effective as she’d hoped. Jazmine seemed intent on spreading Shana’s problems throughout the entire neighborhood.
“I don’t think she’s mentioned it to anyone else,” Catherine was quick to reassure her. “Certainly not Charles. I can’t be positive, of course, but…” Her voice trailed off.
“Of course,” Shana echoed. Jazmine was a handful. Spending her days at the park with friends or in the ice-cream parlor with Shana wasn’t the ideal situation, but it was the best that could be done for now. Unless Shana looked into some kind of summer camp for her…
“The only reason Jazmine said anything was because I asked her if she knew what was bothering you. So if anyone’s to blame, it’s me,” Catherine insisted, her face reddening. “I apologize, Shana.”
“Don’t worry about it.” But Shana decided she’d still ask Jazmine later.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Catherine offered. “Like I said, I’m a good listener.”
After several sleepless nights, Shana could use some advice. “All right,” she agreed with a deep sigh. “My life’s a bit of a mess at the moment,” she said, then proceeded to tell Catherine about her five-year relationship with Brad and how it had ended. She described how he’d been an important part of her life, and then he was gone; just after that, Jazmine had arrived and on the heels of her niece Adam Kennedy showed up.
Catherine nodded often during the course of their lengthy one-sided discussion.
“Are you in love with Adam?” she asked when Shana had finished.
“Yes. No. How can I be?” She paused. “Good grief, I’m the last person who’d know.”
“You love Brad, though?” Catherine continued.
“No.” This came without the slightest hesitation. “Although I loved him at one time. At least, I believed I did.”
“I don’t think breaking off a relationship is ever as easy as we want it to be,” Catherine said thoughtfully. “We invest our hopes and dreams in a particular relationship, and when that doesn’t work out, we sometimes have difficulty admitting it.”
“That’s true.” Shana nodded, remembering the years she’d devoted to Brad with such hope for a future together.
“I wonder if what you really want is for Brad to recognize how much he wronged you.”
Shana grinned. That was so true, it was almost painful.
“It gives women a sense of vindication,” Catherine pronounced solemnly, “when a man realizes the error of his ways.”
Shana nodded again. She wished she’d talked to her friend weeks ago; Catherine saw everything with such clarity and insight.
“Are you tempted to take him back?”
“Not at all…” She let the rest fade.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, but…” The thought had only occurred to her now. “Until I talk to him…” Even as she said the words, Shana knew that a telephone conversation wouldn’t be enough. She needed to see Brad, talk to him in person, whi
ch she hadn’t really done, not after that one dramatic scene when she’d confronted him with what she knew about Sylvia. Then she’d gone to Seattle to think. She’d phoned him, but hadn’t spoken to him in person. Shana had never honestly explained her dissatisfaction with the relationship—aside from the Sylvia issue—nor had she made clear that reconciliation was out of the question. Her severing of the relationship wasn’t a ploy to get him back. And it wasn’t something she’d done on a whim.
Shana looked at Catherine.
“Actually,” Catherine said, “I think talking to Brad is a good idea.”
“I do, too.” Shana removed her apron and carelessly tossed it over the back of a chair. “Can you take over for me?”
“Now?” Catherine asked, seemingly surprised at how quickly Shana was acting.
“Please. I’ll take Jazmine to Portland with me.”
“I’ll need to call Louis, but I’m pretty sure he hasn’t got anything planned for the next few days. Let me find out.” She walked over to the phone, and after just a minute’s discussion, replaced the receiver. “He said he’d be delighted.”
“Good.” Her decision made, her resolve strong, Shana went outside to collect Jazmine.
“One question,” Catherine said, stopping her on her way out the door. “What do you want me to say if Adam phones?”
That wasn’t likely to happen, but she certainly didn’t want her friend to divulge that she’d gone off to see Brad. “Our last conversation ended kind of badly, so I doubt—”
“You said that earlier,” Catherine broke in, “but I bet he’ll be phoning soon. He probably regrets how things went as much as you do.”
Shana did regret it and although she hadn’t said so, Catherine had intuitively known. “Tell him I’m visiting an old friend out of town.” It would be the truth, because she planned to call Gwen Jackson as soon as she got home. As she spoke, Shana absently watched a delivery truck pull into the parking space in front of the restaurant.
The bell above the door jangled cheerfully, and Catherine hurried out of the kitchen. Shana followed her, sorry their conversation had been interrupted.
All she saw was a large FedEx box.
“Shana Berrie?” the delivery man asked.
Catherine gestured toward Shana.
“I’m Shana,” she responded, trying to remember if she’d recently ordered anything that would come by overnight courier. She couldn’t think of a thing.
Jazmine trailed the delivery man inside. “What’s that?” she asked excitedly.
“I don’t know yet.” Shana signed the clipboard and yanked the tab at the end of the box. The sender’s name was that of a floral company in…It started with a W but a large smudge obscured the rest of the word.
“It’s probably from Brad,” Jazmine muttered disdainfully. “I told you he wants you back.”
“No way,” Shana said, shaking her head. Anything he had to send her wouldn’t come in a box. She’d been waiting for a small jewelry box from him long enough to guarantee that.
When the carton was open, two orchid leis slid onto the counter. Waikiki—that was it. Hawaii. Well, that was one puzzle solved. Catherine gave an immediate gasp of wonder at their delicate beauty.
“Uncle Adam,” Jazmine burst out in a squeal of unrestrained delight.
“Is there a card?” Catherine asked.
Shana searched the inside of the box and found it. “To my two favorite girls. I miss you. Adam.”
Jazmine draped one of the leis over her shoulders, beaming with joy.
Shana wasn’t nearly as pleased. “That was a cowardly thing to do,” she declared. Just leave it to a man to let flowers do his talking for him. Well, she’d deal with Adam later, but at the moment she had another man on her mind, and that was Brad Moore.
Chapter Nineteen
Shana felt as if she was on a mission now. What Catherine had said was so true—it was as difficult to let go of the expectations created by a relationship as the relationship itself. She needed to complete the process of disconnecting herself from Brad.
The minute she arrived home, Shana instructed Jazmine to pack an overnight bag.
“Where are we going?” Jazmine asked, catching Shana’s enthusiasm. The lei still hung around her neck. Shana wore hers, too. She appreciated Adam’s gesture, but not as much as she would have if he’d e-mailed or phoned her first. She didn’t want to think about him now, and yet it was impossible not to. The orchids wafted a lovely scent, reminding her of Adam and their shared kisses.
“To Portland.”
“Portland?” Jazmine moaned. “Why are we going there?”
Shana already had her suitcase out of her closet and open on top of her bed. She didn’t need much—her pajamas, a set of clothes and clean underwear. Her toiletries and makeup. That was it.
“Aunt Shana…”
She whirled around, almost forgetting Jazmine was in the room. “I’m sorry. You asked me why we’re going to Portland.” The girl deserved the truth. “I need to talk to Brad.”
“Brad!” Her niece spit out the name as if she had a bug in her mouth. “Why?” she cried with such a shocked look that Shana nearly laughed. “You’re wearing Uncle Adam’s lei and you want to visit Brad?”
“I need to talk to him.”
“But why?”
“It’s important,” was all Shana could tell her.
“You’re not going back to him, are you?” Jazmine’s eyes pleaded with hers.
“No. Now pack an overnight bag. I want to head out as soon as we can.” Shana had no intention of being away from the business for more than twenty-four hours. She’d already called Gwen and left a message, asking if she could put them up for the night. If not, they’d get a hotel room—a reasonably priced one. The trip would be an adventure, and Shana would make an effort to see that Jazmine had fun. If there was time, they’d stop at Jensen Beach to shop and play tourist. Her niece would enjoy that.
Jazmine hesitated in the doorway. “You’re sure about this?”
“Very sure.” This was a conversation she should’ve had with Brad when she left him.
“Are you still in love with Brad?” Jazmine asked urgently, staring up at her.
“No. I told you that.”
Jazmine frowned, apparently not entirely convinced. “Do you always do stuff like this?”
“You mean act on impulse?” Shana clarified. She didn’t think she did, but she realized she was only beginning to know herself. Buying the ice-cream parlor had been the first impulsive thing she’d done in years. Now this. Perhaps it came from a new sense of having control over her own life.
“Are you packed?” Shana asked, knowing very well that she wasn’t.
“Not yet.” Her niece dawdled for another few minutes. “I don’t think I can leave,” she said with a shrug. “My garden needs watering, and Uncle Adam said it’s important to give the plants a drink every morning and every night.” A smile raised the edges of her mouth. “He said I should sing to them, but nothing too fast or with a strong beat.”
Shana smiled, too. “I think they can go without water for a day. You can make it up to them later and give them an extra drink and sing a few lullabies.”
Jazmine still hesitated, then finally appeared to reach a decision. She went into her own bedroom.
It seemed to take her niece forever to assemble what she needed. When she reappeared, she was dragging her backpack behind her as if it weighed fifty pounds. “We can go now,” she said with an undisguised lack of enthusiasm.
“Good.” Shana stood by the car, waiting impatiently. She wondered if Jazmine had transferred the entire contents of her dresser into her backpack, but decided against asking.
“Everything locked up?” Shana had checked the back door and the windows.
Jazmine nodded, climbed into the car while Shana heaved her backpack into the trunk, and fastened her seat belt. Then she sighed heavily.
Shana walked around to the driver’s side. “Thin
k of this as an adventure,” she said in a breezy voice.
Jazmine’s chin drooped to her chest. “Are you going to tell Uncle Adam what you did?”
Involuntarily Shana fingered the lei. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“What if Brad gets you to move back to Portland?”
“That won’t happen,” Shana promised, hiding a smile.
“I just don’t understand why it’s so important for you to see him again,” Jazmine whined. “You said it was over. You said you didn’t want to have anything to do with him again. You said—”
“I know what I said.” Shana cut her off, started the car and pulled away from the curb.
Jazmine was quiet for the first few minutes. “Where will we stay the night?” she asked.
“At a friend’s place.”
“What friend?”
“Gwen. You haven’t met her.”
“Does she have kids?”
“No,” Shana murmured as she merged onto the West Seattle freeway and toward Interstate 5.
“Do I get to come along when you talk to Brad?”
Shana hadn’t actually considered that, but the answer wasn’t difficult. “Probably not.”
Jazmine’s shoulders slumped forward. “That’s what I figured.”
“Jazz, this isn’t what you think. I’m going to see Brad to tell him something….” Only now were her thoughts catching up with her actions.
“What?” Jazmine asked, looking at her for the first time since she got into the car.
“To tell him I made the right decision when I left Portland.”
“You mean you’re not sure?” Her niece seemed about to burst into tears.
“No. Why are you so worried?”
Jazmine stared out the passenger window as if the concrete freeway interchanges were the most fascinating scenery in the world. “Brad phoned, and I told you and then…then you and Uncle Adam had an argument, and now you’re driving to Portland. I’m not stupid, you know. I can connect the dots.”
“Well, you’re looking at the wrong picture.” Shana could understand why Jazmine had reached those conclusions but they weren’t correct. “You don’t need to be concerned, Jazz. I promise.”