Chad saw her the moment he stepped out the clinic door. He hesitated briefly before heading in her direction.
Her own reaction to seeing him caught her by surprise. She hadn’t expected to feel anything. But she did. Her heart seemed to trip into double time and her throat closed. This wasn’t going to be easy and Chad would probably go out of his way to make it as awkward as possible.
“Took you long enough” was his only greeting.
“I thought we should…acknowledge what happened,” she said, consciously quoting Corrie. She kept her hands on her hips, feet spread, the stance she used when pulling over speeders.
“Yes, I suppose we should. Do you want to meet me somewhere so we can talk in private?”
Gloria shook her head. “Here is fine.”
“In the parking lot?”
“I have to be at work soon.”
“The parking lot?” he reiterated.
“Yes.”
“So this’ll be short and sweet.”
“Well, yes.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I guess that tells me everything I need to know.”
Rather than ask what he meant, she started in on her prepared speech. “Clearly there’s a strong physical attraction between us.”
“You think?”
She ignored his sarcasm, although it irritated her. “I can’t explain why you affect me the way you do.”
“But you don’t like it.”
“I don’t think we’re right for each other,” she finally told him.
“Yeah, sure.”
“There’s no need for sarcasm, Chad,” she returned pointedly. She’d been correct about one thing; he intended to punish her, make this as hard as he could.
“You might not think so, but it’s either that or…”
“Or what?”
He started to walk away from her. “You drive me crazy, Gloria. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re hot one minute, and when I say hot, we both know what I mean. Then the next minute, you can’t get away from me fast enough.”
Gloria couldn’t very well deny his accusations.
“The night we had dinner, things got out of control. I hadn’t intended to bring you back to my apartment. I told you what would happen if we went inside and if I remember correctly you didn’t voice any objections.”
She swallowed and looked away, embarrassed because what he’d said was true.
“I woke up the next morning happier than I could remember being in a long time—only to discover you were gone.”
She couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Then I found your note. What a shock. ‘Don’t call me again. Last night was a mistake.’”
Gloria stared down at her shoes.
“It might’ve been a mistake for you, Gloria, but I refused to think of it that way.”
She had nothing to add.
“Hot one minute, cold the next. I tried to reason with you. I lost count of how many messages I left you.”
“Ten,” she said, then wished she’d kept her mouth shut.
“Ten,” he repeated. “Ten messages, and how many weeks of silence?”
“Two.” There, she’d done it again, letting him know she’d counted each and every one of those tortured days.
“And now you’re telling me to take a flying leap into the nearest cow pasture, right?” His stance remained guarded, defiant.
“I think it’s for the best not to see each other again.”
“That figures. Well, go ahead, Gloria, run away and pretend there’s nothing between us if that makes you feel better. Trust me, after this last episode, it doesn’t come as a surprise.”
She blinked at the vehemence in his voice, the hardness in his face.
“I’d rather we parted as friends,” she said.
He went still, then shook his head. “Sorry. If you want to water this relationship down to ‘friends’ in order to make it palatable, then feel free to do so, but it doesn’t work for me.”
“How…what are you talking about?”
“Friends, you say? First, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Friends are people I trust. You’ve burned me twice, and I don’t feel that friendly toward you. If this is the way you treat your so-called friends, I pity them. I pity you.”
Gloria’s stomach tensed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then what did you mean?”
“I…I thought, you know, that if we passed each other on the street we could…be polite. And if I ever came to the clinic, we could be cordial to each other.”
He rolled his eyes. “That isn’t going to happen, so don’t worry about it. Fine, you want to be friends, we’ll be friends.”
He stepped away from her and started across the parking lot to his car. Every instinct demanded she follow him and make things right between them. Yet she remained rooted to the spot.
She stood frozen for several minutes, warring within herself. Chad climbed into his car and drove off, and still she stood there, not knowing what to do.
Corrie had said she needed to “acknowledge what happened” and move on. Chad had agreed. But if that was what she’d sought, she’d failed miserably. Instead of ending their affair on a friendly note, they were more at odds than ever.
Somehow she made it through her shift and, at eleven that night, went home. Although she was mentally and physically exhausted, she couldn’t fall asleep. Many hours later, she downed two over-the-counter sleeping pills and pulled the sheet over her head. The sun had begun to rise, and morning light slithered into her bedroom through the gap between her curtains.
Gloria rolled onto her left side and bunched up the pillow. Ten minutes later she was on her right side and then she rolled onto her back.
She glanced at the clock and wondered how long it would take for the sleep aid to kick in. She closed her eyes, but when she did, all she could see was Chad standing defiantly before her. He didn’t say a word, yet she felt his disappointment and his pain.
She felt her own.
All at once she threw aside the covers and sat up as his words echoed in her mind. She’d suggested that being friends meant that if they ran into each other again, they’d be cordial. Chad had said that wasn’t going to happen. He hadn’t meant he wouldn’t greet her.
What he was telling her, she realized now, was that he wouldn’t be around for her to greet. He was leaving town.
The Tacoma hospital had told him they’d hire him any time he wanted the job.
Chad was leaving Cedar Cove. And her.
Twenty
Mack finished his five-mile run and walked the last block to the duplex to cool down. Cool down physically from the exertion of the run and emotionally from his churning thoughts.
He’d been upset with Mary Jo after their confrontation with David on the waterfront two weeks earlier. Twice since then he’d tried to talk to her about the situation, and both times she’d abruptly changed the subject. The only thing she wanted to talk about was their search for Jacob and Joan. And that interested him, too, but it wasn’t about their lives. Clearly she wasn’t comfortable discussing David. Not with him, anyway. And that hurt. He felt he had as much at stake as she did. Not to the same degree, perhaps, but he loved Noelle, too.
Their dinner with his parents hadn’t helped. His mother—and even his father—thought they’d come to announce their engagement.
He wished.
Mary Jo wasn’t ready, and frankly, Mack was growing frustrated. He’d recognized long ago that she was afraid. He understood that. But for the past six months he’d bent himself into a pretzel trying to prove how trustworthy he was. Okay, he’d stumbled once, when Mary Jo discovered he’d misled her regarding the ownership of the duplex. Even then he’d had her best interests at heart. If he had to do it over again, hindsight being what it was, he’d tell her the truth. How much that error in judgment had cost him remained to be seen.
He was tired of the brush-off she’d been giving him lately, and he wasn’t s
ure how to handle it. Running helped him clear his mind, so he’d pounded the pavement for five miles while he mulled over the events of the past few weeks.
He loved her and Noelle, but it felt as though with every step forward, he immediately took two steps back. After six months he was beginning to think she might never feel as strongly about him as he did about her.
After his run, Mack showered, changed clothes, did a few errands and returned home midafternoon. As he brought groceries into the house, Mary Jo came out of her place.
“Hi,” she said, sounding uncertain.
Good. He hoped she enjoyed the feeling because he’d been experiencing it for the past half year.
“Hi,” he said back, and reached for another bag of groceries.
“I didn’t see you this morning.” He usually made himself available to Mary Jo and Noelle in case they needed anything. Maybe that was his problem—being too helpful, too eager to show he cared.
He brought the second load into the house and left the door open. A couple of minutes later, he was back to get his dry cleaning.
Mary Jo came farther into the yard, watching him. Mack pretended not to notice.
“Are you upset?” she asked.
He stopped and met her look head-on. “As a matter of fact, I am.”
She blinked as though his honesty had taken her by surprise. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I’ve tried twice, and Noelle and her future obviously isn’t something you want to discuss with me.”
“You’re not her father,” Mary Jo snapped.
She couldn’t have said anything that would have wounded him more. He considered himself Noelle’s protector. He loved that baby as if he were her father. He’d brought her into this world and been the first to hold her in his arms. From that moment forward, Mack had felt a special bond with Noelle, warranted or not.
“Right,” he said stiffly, and walked past her. Once inside, he closed the door. He hung up his clothes, put away his groceries and swallowed a groan of sheer frustration.
Not more than five minutes later, his doorbell rang. Assuming it was Mary Jo, Mack toyed with the idea of not answering. Instead, he walked to the front door and threw it open. He wanted to make sure she understood that he resented the intrusion.
Staring at him intently, she stood on the other side with Noelle in her arms. “I hate it when you’re upset with me.”
He left the screen door shut and waited for his heart to stop pounding. “Are you ready to talk?” he asked.
She nodded.
Mack held open the screen and let her in. He motioned for her to sit down on the sofa and went into the kitchen to make them coffee. He brought out two cups. She ignored hers. He ignored his. Mary Jo set Noelle on the rug, and the six-month-old immediately began crawling toward the coffee table.
Despite his dour mood, Mack couldn’t help smiling. He bent down and scooped the baby into his arms. Happy to see him, Noelle gurgled with delight. Then, remembering why Mary Jo was in his home, Mack sobered and set Noelle back on the carpet to crawl about as she pleased. As Mary Jo had so recently reminded him, he had no rights with regard to this child.
“You…aren’t Noelle’s father,” she said again.
He glared at her. She’d already made her point and he could see no reason for her to say it again.
“But I wish you were,” she added.
Those words removed the sting from her earlier comment. “I do, too,” he admitted.
“It’s obvious that you love Noelle.”
He couldn’t have made his feelings toward Mary Jo and her baby any plainer. He loved them both, although so far it’d done him little good.
“I…I spoke with Ben and Charlotte recently,” she continued. “They talked to Olivia, who recommended that I file for child support. Apparently it doesn’t matter whether David has a job or not. They said it was important that I register with the state.”
He wondered if Mary Jo would accept that advice. When they’d last spoken, she’d been dead set against taking any action, certain David would follow through on his threat.
“According to Charlotte, Olivia has lots of experience in these cases and she said David would be forced to own up to his responsibility.”
“But you’re afraid he’ll ask for joint custody of Noelle once the support request goes through?” Mack believed that was a scare tactic.
“That’s what people keep telling me, Linc included. I hate it when everyone seems to think they know what’s best for me and Noelle.” Her voice quavered slightly.
Mack found himself wrestling with indecision, but he’d done too much of that in the past. He had to hold fast to his convictions.
“You want what’s best for Noelle, yet you’re willing to let David terrorize you.”
“I’m afraid he’ll find some way of taking Noelle away from me,” she said, sounding close to panic at the mere thought of it.
“Which is playing right into his hands, isn’t it? David doesn’t want to be part of Noelle’s life. He couldn’t care less about his daughter—or you, for that matter.”
“I know,” she whispered. She reached down and picked up Noelle, who squirmed in her arms, wanting to be put down again. Mary Jo clung to her baby.
“Do you honestly think any judge in the land would consider giving Noelle to David?” Mack asked incredulously.
“I…don’t think so, but it could happen. I can’t risk that. I don’t need David. I don’t want anything to do with him. Basically he’s saying he wants me to leave him alone, and I’m happy to do that.”
“But then you aren’t protecting Noelle.”
“Yes, I am,” she insisted.
Mack walked to the other side of the room. “Is he named as Noelle’s father on the birth certificate?” He turned back and watched her nod reluctantly.
“What if something happened to you?” he asked. “What if, God forbid, you became ill or were seriously injured and unable to care for Noelle? Who would take her?”
“Linc and Lori…maybe. I hadn’t thought of that.”
He wanted to shout that these were the very scenarios that ran through his mind in the middle of the night.
“If you were…gone or incapable of caring for Noelle, the state would contact David, because he’s Noelle’s legal father. She would then become his responsibility.”
Mary Jo looked horrified. Noelle slid out of her arms and plopped down on her thick diaper, sitting at her mother’s feet.
“When Ben talked to me, he said he was afraid that if…sometime down the road I got married and my husband wanted to adopt Noelle, David would do everything he could to cause problems. He’d use Noelle for his own purposes.”
Mack had thought of that himself. He didn’t trust that jerk for a second.
Mary Jo glanced his way. “I’ll never understand how I could’ve been so blind and stupid. One error in judgment, and look what happened.” She swallowed visibly.
“Ben must have urged you to take action for another reason,” he said.
Mary Jo nodded. “He told me that if I were to approach David with relinquishment papers now, he’d probably sign them, which would save us all a lot of trouble down the road. Ben also told me that Noelle will always be his granddaughter. He’s already made provisions for her in his will.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less of a man like Ben Rhodes.”
Mary Jo bit her lip. “I’d want someone else to talk to David, though.”
“Let me.” Mack would get David to sign those papers without a problem, and it wouldn’t take long, either.
“No…I was thinking I might hire Mr. Harris to do it. He could deduct his fee from my paycheck.”
It seemed she was still considering that action as she spoke. Mack took a moment to digest her words.
“So you’re willing to approach David? Or have someone approach him on your behalf?”
She hesitated. “I…don’t know yet.”
He stiffened and wa
nted to tell her that she should inform him when she’d made her decision. Until then, he’d rather she didn’t torment him with her wishy-washy attitude.
Again, Mary Jo sensed his irritation. “Can I change the subject for a moment?” she asked.
He wondered if this was just another delaying tactic, and then with a sigh of resignation nodded for her to continue.
“I had a wonderful time at your parents’ house last week.”
They’d barely spoken since then. Right afterward, Mack was on duty for four days straight. Once he got back home, he’d tried to talk to Mary Jo but she’d been unresponsive. He’d more or less ignored her ever since.
“I apologize if my mother embarrassed you,” he muttered.
“She didn’t,” Mary Jo told him. “I was kind of amused that she assumed we were going to announce our engagement.”
Mack shoved his hands in his pockets. “Amused?” This woman had him so twisted up in knots he didn’t know if he was coming or going. He felt he’d done nothing but make a fool of himself over her.
“Why are you looking at me like I said something offensive?” Mary Jo asked. “Honestly, Mack, you’re so prickly these days….”
“The idea of marrying me is a big joke?” he said in a sullen voice.
“I didn’t say that!”
“Sorry, maybe I need my hearing tested because that’s exactly what it sounded like.”
“Do you love me?” she asked.
Mack didn’t answer because he didn’t want her scoffing at him, didn’t want her to disparage his feelings.
“Well, I guess that’s that,” she said after an awkward moment. She reached for Noelle.
Mack knew if he didn’t say something fast, she’d leave. This might be his last opportunity and he didn’t want to waste it on resentment or retaliation. “I couldn’t have made my feelings for you and Noelle any more obvious if I tried. Yes, I love you, Mary Jo. My thoughts haven’t been my own from the second I answered your 9-1-1 call last Christmas.”
Once again Mary Jo bit her lip. “I fell in love before, and I was so stupid and foolish. David—”