Mum’s eyes filled with tears and I was sorry as soon as the words were out of my mouth.
“More like Desperate Me, dumped on my own doorstep,” she sniffed.
“You’re not desperate!” I cried. “It shouldn’t be you running away from the street. It’s so unfair.”
It went on like that for the rest of the week. Dad trying to be my best friend and Mum twittering on about her accent and her Spanish phrases one minute and collapsing in tears the next.
“They’re driving me insane,” I said to Phoebe on Wednesday at school. “You should have heard Dad at breakfast this morning, talking to me as if I was one of his mates, asking me for advice about this removals job he’s got on. He never used to talk to me about stuff like that before I moved in there.”
“I don’t know why you’re complaining. My dad’s so busy he doesn’t even notice I’m there half the time.”
“This is different,” I muttered. “Anyway, have you chosen a scene yet? For the auditions?”
Phoebe took her script out of her school bag.
“I’m going to do this one from Act Two,” she said, showing me. “It’s when Marcia meets the main character from the computer game. Her name’s Rainbow, remember? I’ll read it through now if you want. I could really do with the practice.”
We walked over to a corner of the playground so no one else could hear. She didn’t sound very confident and I could tell she was worried.
“Do you actually want to be Marcia?” I asked when she’d finished.
“I’m not bothered really – I just want a big singing part. You know how much I love singing. How about you?”
“I’m not bothered either,” I said. I felt bad about lying to Phoebe but I was too scared to tell her how desperate I was to be Marcia, just in case the whole plan went wrong.
We practised for a bit longer until Ellie and Sam came over to see what we were doing. Sam grabbed hold of Phoebe’s script and clutched it to her chest.
“I can’t wait for Saturday,” she said, dramatically. “I bet you anything I’m going to be Marcia and Adam’s going to be Tarn.” She was so sure of herself it was as if she could see straight into the future. “Or maybe the new boy, Sandeep, will be Tarn. Did you see the way he kept winking at me last week?”
“Make your mind up,” said Ellie. “I thought it was Adam you fancied! And anyway, he was winking at everyone. He probably had something in his eye.”
We all burst out laughing and Ellie started to wink at Sam.
“Oh, Sam, you’re so beautiful,” she crooned, winking and blinking like mad. “Your silky hair, your gorgeous curvy figure, your…erm…healthy, pink gums!”
“What!” spluttered Phoebe, laughing so much I thought she was going to choke. “Healthy pink gums?”
“I ran out of things to say,” said Ellie, shrugging her shoulders and grinning. “Anyway I bet some boys notice how healthy your gums are. That’s what my mum always says when she’s nagging me to brush my teeth!”
Later that afternoon, I was upstairs at Dad’s practising my scene when Jake started to howl. I tried to carry on but the crying got louder and louder and even with my door closed it was as if he was screaming right into my ear. It went on and on and I was just about to storm downstairs when Diane burst into my room clutching hold of Jake in one hand and a manky, old tea towel in the other.
“Give me a hand, would you, Polly?” she shouted over Jake. “He’s in a right state and I’m trying to get his tea cooked.” She was in a state as well. Her top was covered in milky stains and she looked as if she was about to burst into tears.
“I’m in the middle of practising something for drama,” I said. “I’ll come and help in a bit.”
“I’ll just pop him down here then,” she said, totally ignoring me. “There you go, sweetheart.” She lay him down on the rug next to my bed. “It’s his teeth,” she went on. “He’s got a big one coming through at the back and it must be killing him. I’ll call up when his tea’s ready.”
Jake carried on screaming through all of this, banging his little fists on the rug and rolling from side to side.
“Thanks,” said Diane, and she disappeared back downstairs.
I tried to carry on learning my scene but it was impossible. If I thought the screaming was loud when it was coming from downstairs, it was totally deafening right there in my tiny room.
“Come on, Jake,” I muttered. “It can’t hurt that much, can it? It’s only a tooth!”
I glanced around for something to distract him. I’d never looked after a baby before – it had always been just me and Mum and Dad at home. The only thing lying about was Boo, my old beanie-bear. I picked him up and held him just above Jake’s head, wiggling and waggling Boo about to try and get his attention. For a minute, Jake just carried on wailing, his eyes closed and his fists curled up tight, but then, as he stopped to draw breath, he opened his eyes just a fraction and one of his tiny hands reached up for Boo. I lifted Boo a bit higher and carried on wiggling and he opened his eyes wider and reached up with both hands.
After a bit I stopped wiggling and he looked at me with a slightly puzzled expression on his face. I thought he might start crying again, so I wiggled Boo some more and Jake started to pump his podgy legs in and out, making little squealy noises like a mouse. Every time I stopped wiggling he stopped pumping and fixed me with his huge green eyes. So I wiggled again and he pumped again and after three or four more times, he started to giggle.
I was so busy wiggling I didn’t hear Diane come back up. “Tea’s ready,” she said, coming in the room. She stopped at the door and stared. “Polly, you’re a star! Look at him giggling away!”
She picked up Jake, who immediately struggled to get down. He reached across her for Boo, his bottom lip starting to wobble. “Oh, can I bring your beanie-bear down, do you mind?” said Diane. “Just to keep him happy while he’s eating.”
I shrugged and handed him over. Jake clutched Boo to his chest and started to suck on his ear. I nearly grabbed him back, but I couldn’t stand the thought of the screaming starting up all over again. That night I walked past Dad and Diane’s room where Jake was sleeping in his cot. He was lying on his back holding on to Boo for dear life, sucking away at his mangled ear – just like I used to when I was a baby.
I practised and practised my scene until I knew it off by heart. I didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Every time Jake started screaming or Dad tried to be my best mate, or Diane did her big sucking up act, it made me even more determined to do the best audition of my life. I felt awful about Cosmo as well, sitting on the wall outside number 25, waiting for me to appear at the top of the road. I kept telling him it was only for another week or so but I swear his eyes grew sadder with each passing day.
I couldn’t wait to get to drama on Saturday. I was nervous about the auditions, but only because there was so much at stake. If I messed up, Sam would probably get the part of Marcia and then I’d never get Mum to stay in England.
We played a few warm-up games to start off with and then Mandy sat us down in a circle.
“I’ve made a list of pairs,” she said, taking a file out of her bag. “So in a minute, when you know who you’re with, I want you to decide between you whose scene you’re going to perform first – and then after break you can swap round and the other person will get to do theirs.”
“Oh, Mandy, you’ll never believe what happened!” cried Ellie.
Mandy rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. You lost your script, so you haven’t been able to learn a scene for the auditions?”
“Well I didn’t lose my script exactly,” said Ellie. “I lost my bag and my script just happened to be in my bag. Luckily, my bag was found, you see I left it on the bus, but—”
“Wait!” Mandy held up her hand. “Don’t tell me. The script wasn’t in there.”
“How on earth did you know?” said Ellie, amazed. But Mandy just shook her head, sighing, and started to read out the pairs.
r /> “Okay, I want Tara to go with Neesha. Ellie can pair up with Phoebe, Sam with Sandeep, Catharine with Adam, Polly with Monty B and—”
“Hang on a minute!” I burst out. “I can’t be partners with Monty B!”
I couldn’t do my audition with Monty B, the most stupid person in the whole, entire group!
I looked at Mandy in horror but she carried on reading out the list as if I hadn’t said a word and everything was fine.
“Can I swap with you?” I begged Phoebe. “Please. You go with Monty B and I’ll go with Ellie.”
“Erm, well I don’t mind,” said Phoebe. “Just check with Mandy first.”
But Mandy wasn’t interested. “Come on, Polly,” she said. “Don’t make a big deal out of this. You have to be able to get on with everyone when you’re part of a group.”
“But Monty B will just mess about,” I said. “You know he will. He’ll do something really stupid and ruin my chance of getting a good part.”
“No I won’t,” said Monty B. “I’m not that thrilled about being with you either, if you must know. And anyway why would I mess about when I’ve got my heart set on being Marc?”
“It’s not Marc!” I hissed. “It’s Marcia.”
“Okay, calm down,” he said, as if I was the one with the problem.
“I’m sorry but I can’t be with him.” I shook my head. “Seriously, Mandy, I’m not going to audition.” My hands were itching to hit him. “I even don’t care about getting a good part any more.”
“I know you don’t mean that, Polly,” said Mandy. “Remember how well you read Marcia’s part last week? I was really looking forward to watching you audition today.”
I looked over at Monty B. He was grinning like an idiot and I knew he’d do something moronic, but then I thought of Mum getting ready to fly off to Spain, and Cosmo sitting on the wall outside number 25, waiting for me, and I knew I had to try.
“Okay,” I muttered. “I’ll do it.”
“Right, off you go with your partners for a practice and we’ll start in about twenty minutes.”
“I’m with Sandeep,” boasted Sam, as she swept past us, as if Sandeep had personally chosen her to be his partner. Sandeep glanced at us over Sam’s head and winked. I remembered Ellie messing about at school, winking and blinking, but it didn’t seem nearly so funny now that Sam was paired up with Sandeep for the auditions and I was stuck with Monty B.
“What scene have you chosen then?” he said, when we’d found a place to practise at the back of the hall.
“The one where Marcia meets Tarn for the first time – you know, when she’s running away from Cydore.”
“You’re kidding! Me too.”
“Well we can’t both read Marcia’s part, so you might as well be Tarn.”
“Fine by me. The second I read Tarn’s part at home I knew Mandy had written it with me in mind. It was so obvious.”
I didn’t mention that a minute ago he’d said he wanted to be Marc. I didn’t really care if it meant I could be Marcia. “Just don’t mess about, okay? It’s a really dramatic scene. There are no funny bits in it at all.”
“Stop stressing, Polly! I can do serious, right?”
I looked at him standing there with his dyed-red hair sticking out in a million different directions, wearing a T-shirt with “What would Scooby Doo?” written across the front, and I knew he’d never been serious in his whole, entire life.
We read through the scene a couple of times and I hate to admit it, but he was quite good. The problem was I knew he’d never be able to keep it up – not when the others were watching.
“Let’s try and do it without scripts,” I suggested after a bit. “But don’t change the words or anything.”
It sounds crazy, I know, but I actually began to enjoy myself. It was better than practising on my own at Dad’s and I loved the script so much – especially Marcia’s part. We did it once more and Mandy came over to watch us.
“Hey, you two are great,” she said, and scribbled something in her file.
“See,” said Monty B. “It’s not so bad being partners with me after all, is it?”
“We haven’t done it in front of everyone else yet. I know what happens to you every time you get anywhere near a stage, especially when you’ve got an audience.”
Monty B shook his head. “You know what your problem is?” he said. “You need to learn how to trust me.”
“As if,” I said, but I couldn’t help smiling.
We had just enough time to run it once more before Mandy called us over and the auditions began. Sam and Sandeep were first up and they were brilliant. Sam’s just got this way of strutting about the stage as if she’s the only person in the world who could possibly play the part.
Catharine and Adam were really good as well, but I was pretty sure Mandy wouldn’t give Catharine the biggest part again. Ellie giggled all the way through her scene with Phoebe. She had to use a script and she kept losing her place. It’s a shame Mandy didn’t pair her up with Monty B – they would’ve made the perfect couple.
“Don’t stress, Polly,” he said, while we were waiting for our turn. “We’ll wipe the floor with them.”
I looked at him. “Do you swear you’re not going to change any of the lines, or say something stupid, or start leaping around the stage?”
“I swear,” he said. “Cross my beating heart.”
“Polly and Monty B,” Mandy called out, and suddenly I felt horribly nervous. This was my Big Chance, but what if I wasn’t as good as Sam? What if Mandy had no intention of giving me a main part? What if she’d already decided who she wanted to cast as Marcia? What if… But then I stopped and somehow managed to shove all the negative thoughts out of my head. I marched onto the stage as if I didn’t have a care in the world. I had to do a good audition – there was so much at stake. I wasn’t about to let a stupid bout of nerves ruin everything.
The scene went really well. It was amazing. I totally forgot I was on the stage with Monty B; he was Tarn and I was Marcia and we were trapped and frightened and the evil virus, Cydore, was after us. I knew we were good. There wasn’t a sound in the hall and Mandy didn’t take her eyes off us for a second.
I grabbed Monty B’s arm looking round for Cydore. “What are we going to do?” I cried. “I’m so frightened, Tarn! I want to go home.”
Monty B looked at me. He was supposed to say, “We’re going to crack the code together and get out of here.” It was the final line in the scene and I couldn’t believe how well it was going. Just one last line and it would be over. I could almost hear Mandy telling me the part was mine.
“What are we going to do?” I said again, just in case Monty B had forgotten his line. I nudged him with my foot. But he just stared at me and suddenly I knew he was going to say something stupid. It was like an illness. He couldn’t help himself.
“What are we going to do?” said Monty B. “I’m not sure, Marcia. But the real question is, what would Scooby Doo?” He pointed at his T-shirt, nodding at me like an idiot.
I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
“I said, what would Scooby Doo?” Monty B repeated, and the whole group collapsed laughing, including Mandy, as he started to dance around the stage singing the Scooby Doo theme tune at the top of his voice.
“You’re such a moron!” I yelled. “Why do you always have to ruin everything?” I stormed off the stage and out of the hall.
I sat by myself in the break. I was so furious with Monty B and with everyone else for laughing. Phoebe kept trying to get me to come and sit with them but I didn’t want to.
“Oh, just leave her alone,” Sam called out in the end. “She’s in a big sulk over nothing.”
Phoebe shrugged helplessly. “Come on, Polly,” she said. “The other day you said you weren’t all that bothered about being Marcia.”
“Yeah, well, that was the other day,” I muttered. It wasn’t her fault. She just didn’t realize how important the auditions were to me. br />
I didn’t even get the chance to do another scene, because now Monty B had decided he wanted to be Tarn Mandy said there was no point doing our scene again – so after break I had to sit there while Sam and Catharine got a second chance to show how good they were. I wanted to scream. It was so unfair.
At the end of the session I rushed out without saying goodbye to Mandy or Phoebe. I ran down the stairs to get away from everyone, but waiting for me at the bottom, with Jake tucked up in his pram and a big grin plastered across her face, was Diane.
“Hello, Polly,” she trilled. “Look who’s here to see you!”
I couldn’t believe it. She was the last person I wanted to see. I pushed past her, out into the car park, and stormed up the road.
“Hey, hold on!” she called, coming up behind me. “Jake wanted to see where you get to on Saturday mornings. We got the bus all the way here.”
I spun round to face her. “What do you mean Jake wanted to see where I get to? Jake’s a baby. He doesn’t care where I go on Saturday mornings!”
“Polly! Stop shouting for a second, will you! Okay, I’m sorry. Your dad had to go and do a job so I said I’d come and meet you. There’s no need to be so rude.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I’m here now, so why don’t you calm down a bit and tell me about your audition.”
“The audition was a disaster,” I muttered. “But I didn’t want a big part anyway so it’s no big deal.”
“But you practised all week. What happened? Maybe your drama teacher will give you another chance next week? I could ask her if you want.”
“I don’t want another chance!” I yelled. I was so fed up with her pretending to be interested in my life. “I’m not even coming back next week. I’m going to call Mandy as soon as we get home and tell her I’m quitting!”
We stood there for a bit glaring at each other in silence. I wasn’t going to say sorry, if that’s what Diane thought. I wasn’t going to say anything. She blinked really fast a few times as if she was trying not to cry and then grabbed hold of the pram and strode ahead of me. I hung back taking little pigeon steps; heel-toe, heel-toe. I did feel bad about shouting, but then I never asked her to come and meet me at drama in the first place – and I certainly never asked her to steal my dad away from my mum and have a new baby with him.