“Beth, I feel like we’ve really been getting to know each other and I was wondering if you might want to go out to a movie or something,” I half stammered. Damn, it’s not supposed to be this hard.
“Mike, I like you, I like you a lot, more than I actually should.”
‘Here it comes, nothing good can come from this,’ I thought to myself. The BUT should be coming at any moment now.
“But…”
Bingo, I was right
She continued, “I’m in a serious relationship with someone.”
“I know,” I said “With that football player from Penn State, I just figured we could try like the song, and love the one you’re with.” Oh no, I didn’t really just say that, why can’t life be like the movies so that we could cut out a bad scene and have a redo. But she actually did laugh at that. Unfortunately, lunch after that conversation had an awkward quietude to it. I excused myself a little early so that I could attend the last half of my Calculus class. I must have been upset. So for the first time in two weeks I attended all of my classes, more so that I could think through this new development with a clear mind. If I went back to the dorm I would end up in some drug induced stupor. I attended every class, but only in the physical sense, I could not help but wonder if I had done the wrong thing. ‘Was it too soon to ask her out?’ ‘Did I mess up a budding friendship?’ I mulled over those problems all day long until eventually I ran out of classes and had to return to my dorm, no more the wiser for my musings. Paul had heard about a huge party off-campus that night and asked if I wanted to go. I declined, I told him I was going to try and study.
“Dude, it’s Friday night, nobody studies on Friday night! Mike, this isn’t about Beth is it? Come on bud, she’s going out with a friggen running back from Penn State. The guy’s a stud. Let it and her go. There’s going to be so much tail at this party tonight, you’re not going to know which way to turn,” he said almost pleadingly.
“Hey man, I appreciate the offer, I do, and it does have a little to do with Beth, but I’m so far behind I just won’t feel right NOT studying tonight. You know if I flunk out I’m gonna have to go back to Boston, and I really don’t want to compound my woes with that.”
“Well my friend, if you feel like coming out later, I’ll be there all night, unless I get lucky, well okay maybe I won’t be there that long,” he said with a wicked teeth-flashing grin.
“You are the dog you make yourself out to be.”
“Not a dog, my friend, more like a wolf.” He semi-howled.
“Get outta here before I change my mind.” Because I knew just being around Paul would greatly increase my odds of being with a girl tonight. He couldn’t have them all, there would have to be one or two that fell to the wayside, even a castoff is better than being alone.
“Later Mike, I’ll be thinking of you, for at least the first ten minutes,” he laughed.
“Late,” I replied without much enthusiasm.
I studied for what seemed like days, in all reality it was more like three hours, but that was probably two and a half more hours than I had studied for the entire semester thus far. I guess I must have dozed a little because I awoke to a light knocking on my door. I almost believed it was a dream, but no, there it was again. Who the hell would be knocking on my door at eleven o’clock on a Friday night? Maybe it was pizza. That would be good. I opened the door to a waking dream.
“Hi,” she said.
I gaped for a minute. Beth had come to my room in a long skirt with a blue top that almost perfectly matched her eyes.
“Uh hi, you want to come in, have a beer or a soda?”
“No thanks, I was wondering if you’d come for a walk with me.”
“Uh sure.” Now I’m like most men, I can’t figure out women to save my life, but now she had me completely befuddled. She already pretty much told me 'no way', did she just want to reiterate the point? Because I was really not in any mood to have my ego bruised any more than it already was.
So walk we did, around the entire campus. Conversation was at a minimum, mostly small talk. What the hell was going on!? Then it happened, she grabbed my hand, not in a friendly come here way but a way in which only lovers do, with their fingers entwined. I know it sounds foolish but just the touch of her hand made me hard. I hoped beyond hope that she didn’t notice me constantly reaching down and adjusting the front of my pants. If she did, she never did say anything. After a few blocks of hand holding she led me to an adjacent playground, thankfully abandoned by any seesawing kids at this time of night.
“Come here,” she said with a gleam in her eye. And it was then and there in that playground that Beth and I finally and blissfully became lovers.
I wish I could say that this was the end of our problems and that we became a happy couple, but that interaction only made things worse, at least for the time being. Beth became so guilt ridden over our love making session that she began to completely ignore me. And not being Mister Self-Confident anyway I was under the impression that my clumsiness at lovemaking was what drove her off. I had only Mandy and Alice to compare this too, and I had never felt the sensations with either of them that I was feeling with Beth. Did she feel them too? I didn’t know if I was a porn star or a man with ten thumbs. The great freeze thawed out at fractions of a degree. Occasionally I’d get a “hi” on campus or a smile at floor meetings, but nothing more than that. I was distraught; I began to ignore my classes, even more than usual, which at the time was a very difficult thing to achieve. I couldn’t figure how making love could ruin us, I was under the impression it strengthened relationships; I guess you can refer back to me not understanding women. Beth finally approached me three weeks to the day of our last rendezvous.
“Mike, we need to talk.”
“Alright,” I stammered.
“Why haven’t you been talking to me?” she blurted out.
Now I was completely confused. “You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder for three weeks and you want to know why I haven’t talked to you?”
“I’ll admit I’m feeling a little guilty about the whole thing but after what we shared I thought that you’d try a little harder instead of just falling off the face of the planet.”
“Huh?” I couldn’t even begin to grasp where this conversation was going. “I thought that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Whatever gave you that impression?”
“You did. You’ve been extremely cold and distant.”
She completely blew off my argument and headed off in her own little tangent. “I’ve talked to Mark.” I looked at her with an unknowing stare. “The halfback at Penn.”
“Oh,” I answered.
“I told him that I wanted to break up.” My heart was doing back flips. “I’m not ready right now to be in a steady relationship, but if you’ll have me, I’d like to start again with you. But slower.” Now my heart was doing front flips. I must not have been all thumbs if she was breaking up with the Penn state stud for me. And then like a needle she burst my bubble. “I told him that long distance relationships are too tough and that I just couldn’t afford the time away from my studies to keep visiting him.”
“So you never actually told him about us?”
“I didn’t think that there was much to tell actually.” My stomach started its somersaults routine all over again.
‘Slow’ quickly turned to smoldering and then like a couch with a hidden cigarette it burst into a bright flame. We missed whole days; we’d emerge from our shade drawn candlelit room only out of necessity. Food, water, bathroom breaks, that was about it. I ate, slept, and drank her in. If she left the room I couldn’t wait for her return. Our relationship was that intense. Paul began to become a little perturbed that the time he and I were spending together had been reduced to virtually nil. And even on those rare occasions when we did hang out, it was usually with Beth along. Our friendship was strained a lot throughout freshman year, but I didn’t even notice it then. I was so in love
I couldn’t even see straight.
CHAPTER 11 – Journal Entry 11
I was able to gain a little perspective during winter break. Paul and Beth both went back to their respective parents homes for the month layoff. I remained on campus, loaded down with extra credit so that I could stay in school. You’ve never quite experienced loneliness until you’ve spent a Christmas by yourself. My Christmas dinner consisted of warmed over McDonalds, which I had purchased the night before just for this occasion. I received calls from pretty much everyone I knew. The month went by fairly fast, I spent the majority of it in the library getting my scholarly noggin screwed back on. Paul came up a few days earlier than expected which was greatly appreciated, especially since I had finished all my projects three days hence and was going absolutely stir crazy.
“Man is it good to see you!” I had been sitting in the dorm lobby watching the tube when Paul strolled in.
Paul came up and gave me a hug. “It’s good to see you too man. What have you been up to?”
“Going friggen nuts,” was my reply.
“Come on, let’s go have a beer.”
“I can’t tell you how much I’ve been waiting for those words.”
We went to a local bar, drank, played darts and shot some pool all night. It definitely felt like old times. It was then that I realized how little we had been doing this kind of thing. Just hanging out and rapping with each other.
“Hey Paul, I’m sorry that I’ve pulled away so much this last semester.”
“You noticed that too?”
“Okay, so I guess I got a little wrapped up in the whole Beth thing.”
“I totally understand, she’s definitely the type of chick that you can get wrapped up in.”
“Tell me about it. But I promise I won’t spend nearly as much time with her this semester as the last. And when we hang out it’ll just be a guys’ night out.”
“Sounds good to me. When does she get back?”
I looked at my watch. “Two days, twelve hours and forty six minutes.” Paul was looking at me incredulously, shaking his head. “Dude, I’m just kidding.”
“Ass,” he said as he nailed my arm with a punch.
* * *
Beth came back a couple of days later. There was a little awkwardness there. But we quickly got over it with a marathon love making session.
“Did you miss me?” I asked after our session.
“I saw Mark.” If I hadn’t been in bed I would have doubled over. I tried to regain control of my emotions before I spoke. I was unsure how to proceed, so I waited for her to continue. It didn’t take long, I learned at least one thing about women, if you leave enough open-air time in front of them they feel compelled to fill it. “He told me that he missed me, and that he wanted to get back together with me.”
“What was your response? Did you tell him about us?”
“I told him that I missed him too.”
‘What!!!’ I screamed in my head. “I’m not sure I understand?” I was attempting to quash the mounting horror I was feeling. I wasn’t doing too well with that.
“I’m not sure what to do, I have strong feelings for both of you. I’ve been going out with Mark for two and half years, it’s hard to just let go.”
“Did you spend time with him?” That was the best way I felt that I could broach the subject of whether or not she had slept with him. It was vague but we both know what I meant. She never answered that question directly, that was all the answer I needed.
CHAPTER 12 - Seventy miles South of the Boulder Municipal Playground – Cheyenne Mountain
“Lieutenant, I asked you a direct question. What the hell is that?” Captain Moirane said. He was a man used to having his questions answered in a most timely manner. A little over 6’ tall and built like a flying fortress, he struck a very imposing figure. Captain Moirane had worked his way up in the Marines Corps, he was what the troops called a Mustang. He was an enlisted man who had crossed over to the officer ranks. These types of officers have had arguably the most loyal following among their troops because they knew what it was like to be a grunt in the field. So it was with great hesitation that Lieutenant Blankenship, a boot lieutenant out of Georgia University, answered the Captain with a pure look of amazement.
“Sir, I just don’t know, we’ve been tracking it for three hours since that civilian observer called it in to NASA. At first we thought it was a huge meteor but then twenty minutes ago it changed direction. It’s on a direct collision course for Earth.”
“I’ve got two questions for you Lieutenant. And I’m going to be very specific, and I want very specific answers. If you do not know the answers at this time, I want you to do everything in your power to obtain these answers. Because my next call is going to be to the President, and I had better damn well know what I am talking about. Do you understand me son?”
The lieutenant understood well enough to know that the term “son” was not used for endearment. “Sir, yes sir!”
“Lieutenant, I want to know EXACTLY how big that thing is and I want to know EXACTLY how long we have until it makes contact with my beloved planet!”
“Sir, yes sir, the science officer is en route now.”
“What’s his ETA?”
“I would say about now, sir,” the lieutenant snapped.
“Captain, why was I awoken at this godforsaken hour? This had better be the emergency that the lieutenant made it out to be. I’ve had just about enough of your emergency response drills,” Dr. Schoville said with just a hint of venom behind it. The professor a short balding man in his middle sixties who looked more like Larry the janitor than one of the world’s leading astrophysicists. That point was further pointed out by his disheveled appearance. It was almost comical, blue jeans with pajama tops, and one slipper paired with one loafer.
“Why Professor, it’s good to see you too,” the captain said sarcastically. “I see that you’ve pulled yourself together well tonight.”
“Oh do zip it Captain, as much as I like you, I have no desire to banter this evening,” the professor said as he plopped down into his control seat.
“Professor, I would not have called you out of bed at this late hour unless it was absolutely imperative.”
“What happened?” the professor grunted “Did the cow jump over the moon?”
“Object J-2378 has changed direction, Phil.”
The professor looked up with a jerk. For the captain to forget protocol and use his first name obviously meant that he was serious. “But that’s impossible, meteors don’t just change course, did it collide with another object and veer off?” the professor asked incredulously.
“No,” the lieutenant spoke. “One minute it was heading off into delta quadrant and then it seemed to hesitate for about ten minutes and then it turned to a heading in this direction.” The lieutenant appeared nervous and a little bit relieved; the man he was talking to was infinitely more capable of answering the captain’s questions.
“That, my dear professor, is why we awoke you at this God forsaken hour,” the captain added. The professor looked nearly as nervous as the lieutenant.
“Lieutenant, could you be a champ and get me a very big cup of coffee, I think I’m going to be here awhile,” the professor said resignedly.
* * *
“Captain, for the two hours I’ve been studying this object, it is by no means a natural celestial body,” the professor said later. Had his scientific side not been so curious he felt that he actually might have been afraid.
“Professor, for the record, what exactly are you saying?” the captain fairly demanded. “Do you really expect me to call the President of the United States and tell him a space ship with little green men is on a collision course with Earth?
“First off, Captain, I’m fairly certain that this ship will stop before it impacts with our planet, and from what I can tell there is nothing small about this vessel,” the professor half-stammered out. “The ship appears to be roughly half the size o
f our moon and will be in a tidal influencing position in less than two weeks at its present speed. But I’ll be honest with you, Captain, this ship hasn’t been traveling the stars at its present speed unless it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of a couple of thousand years old. I’m sure that these “beings” have some sort of hyper drive or “warp” drive if you will, that could have them in our neighborhood more in the vicinity of a day or two or quite possibly even an hour or two. If I were you Captain, I would get on the phone with the President now.”
The captain could not even begin to fathom how he was going to start this conversation off. He had been through two wars and dozens of skirmishes, but at this moment, on this night, he felt that he was the most out of his depth he had ever been in his entire life.
“Lieutenant, call the President and get the Joint Chiefs of Staff out of their beds, I also want General Burkhalter up here as well.”
“Sir, yes sir!” the lieutenant shouted, sweat now pouring off of his face in rivulets. The captain noted that fact and was mildly amazed considering the ‘mountain,’ as it was affectionately called, was air conditioned to near freezing temperatures to keep the machinery running at peak performance.
Less than an hour later the captain found himself, via satellite hook-up, staring face to face with the most powerful people on the planet, the President, his military leaders and some of the most prominent cabinet members along with the senate and house chairmen.
“Good morning Captain Moirane,” the President said almost jauntily for this time of day. The captain was surprised that the President knew his name, much less that he was in an affable mood.
“Good morning to you Mr. President,” the captain added as politely as possible. Just because the man was his boss didn’t mean he had to like him, and that was definitely the case here. But then again the captain had never liked any Democratic leader in the Oval Office; the military was always the first to suffer.