As she had assumed based on Elijah’s comments about the bruise on her face, the first interview she had to do was a recap of the dinner at Sogni di Cibo and her mother’s drama-filled visit. For that interview, Lily kept on the outfit she had worn to the theme park with her hair in a ponytail because Elijah said having her hair away from her face drew more attention to the mark on her cheek.
Lily wanted to hate the producer, but the sensible part of her knew he really was just doing his job. She had seen enough reality television to know this had always been coming. It was time to pay the price for being an important part of Dane’s life.
“Tell us about your family,” Elijah instructed her once she was seated in front of the cameras and the special set lighting had been adjusted.
“I come from a big family,” she began. “I have one brother and four sisters. I’m in the middle of the pack with three older siblings and two younger ones.”
“Are you close with them?”
Ignoring the typical pain in her stomach that resulted when thinking about her family, she hedged, “I’m closest with my sister Rosemary. We’re barely a year apart and I think that makes a difference in how well we get along.”
Elijah was too savvy not to read between the lines. “And how well do you get along with everyone else?”
Well, let’s see, her mind snarked. I have a thirty-year-old brother who was raised like the heir to a throne, a twenty-eight-year-old sister who defines the word slut, a twenty-five-year-old sister who barely speaks to any of us because she has no spine at all, two younger sisters who are the most entitled brats on the planet, and a mother who hates my guts.
Planting a smile on her face, she said, “We’re a big family, which means there’s always some kind of chaos happening.”
“Chaos? Is that what led to the bruise on your cheek?”
And there it was.
As she had been instructed, Lily reached up to touch her cheek where she had been slapped. Her smile disappeared. “This came about courtesy of my mother. She’s really protective of my younger sisters and she felt I hadn’t been treating them right.”
Elijah’s brow creased. “Is that true?”
Lily shrugged. “I suppose it depends on your point of view. I’ve been really busy getting ready for the Under the Bridge Tour and now working on the social media posts for The Void. My sisters were calling and texting me and I didn’t get back to them. I gave everything else my attention over them and my mother took exception to that.”
She could see that her response didn’t excite the producer. That was too damn bad. While she was willing to go through these interviews and allow herself to be filmed for the show, Lily wasn’t going to say things that invoked the wrath of her nutty family or just flat-out humiliated her.
“Tell us about your mother,” Elijah said.
“She’s a stay-at-home mom who likes to stay abreast of current trends so she can relate better to her children,” she diplomatically replied.
Elijah sat back in his chair with a dark frown. “I thought you understood what we need from you, Miss Montgomery. You’re wasting all of our time.”
She started to object. She was answering the questions, wasn’t she? But she had just argued with Dane that she knew what this was going to entail and she would handle it. That meant she had to do and say things she wasn’t comfortable with.
Sighing, she once again looked at the camera and said, “My mother and I have vastly different personalities. We butted heads a lot when I was growing up. It got bad enough that I went to live with my Uncle Ray throughout high school.”
The producer perked up at that. “Your mother abused you?”
Yes, her mind immediately replied.
“Of course not,” she said, shame burning her cheeks and throat.
Even as the lie made it past her lips, she sent a silent apology to Dane. She just couldn’t bring herself to admit she was the victim of abuse. Not even for him.
“How would you describe it then?” Elijah prodded.
It took her a moment to reply over the emotion scraping at her vocal chords. “I think my mother has trouble expressing herself with words, so she sometimes resorts to slapping to make herself heard.”
“Well we certainly heard that slap throughout the restaurant,” Elijah said. “How did it feel when you realized who was causing the scene during dinner?”
Lily’s fingers dug painfully into her lap. “I was shocked, of course,” she said in a thin voice. “And embarrassed.”
“How often does your mother hit you?”
Although the producer had used a level tone, the words fell like verbal lashes. Lily couldn’t look at the camera. Hot tears prickled behind her eyes.
“Not in a long time,” she answered.
A sob threatened to escape, preventing a more elaborate answer. What would she say anyway? That none of her siblings had ever suffered her mother’s wrath like she did? That she had known from the time she was old enough to understand that her own mother didn’t—and never would—love her?
“Are you okay?” Elijah asked after a moment.
Lily swallowed hard and used her fingertip to blot a tear in the corner of her eye before it fell. “Yes. Discussing my family is difficult for me. I’m lucky to have great friends who help me through rough patches like this.”
“And Archer is among those friends?
“Definitely. I’m close with all of The Void members. Archer has always been great about cheering me up. He took me out for ice cream after the altercation with my mother.”
Elijah looked like he was about to say something and then changed his mind. “All right. Let’s switch tracks for now. Who is Johnathan Wingerson?”
The interviews continued for more than two hours and didn’t get any easier. Elijah sent a staff person to Lily’s room to get a couple of other outfits she could wear for the interviews and some hair and makeup styling products so they could change her appearance during the different topics they wanted to cover. By the time she dragged herself back up to her hotel room later that evening, she was absolutely exhausted. Her mind and her soul felt utterly depleted.
Aria and Sydney were still by the pool when Lily reached the room. She had no desire to join them. All she wanted was a hot bath and some time alone.
She stripped out of her clothes on the way to the bathroom, where she turned on the water for her bath. She then removed the microphone and battery pack strapped around her waist and set them next to her purse on the coffee table in the living area. Hopefully that would help her remember to wear them when she next got dressed.
While the tub filled, she pulled on a robe and, after a moment of serious debate, decided to check her phone in case she missed anything important since returning to the hotel.
Christopher had texted her to remind her to hop on social media to post some responses to comments and add other updates.
Aria and Sydney had texted her several times to find out what was keeping her, so she shot them a quick response to let them know where she was.
And Dane had called and texted her asking her to call him.
That would have to wait until after her bath, she decided. In fact, it would likely wait until the morning at this point. By the time she finished with her social media activities, she would probably want to face-plant onto her bed. She would text him later so he didn’t worry, though.
Just as she put her phone down to go and check the tub water, a knock sounded on her door. She groaned, so not in the mood to deal with anyone.
“Lily?”
Her eyes flew wide when she recognized the voice on the other side of the door.
Johnathan.
Freaking fantastic.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” she whispered, pressing a hand to her pitching stomach. “I just can’t.”
“Lily, I saw you come up here. Please talk to me.”
Briefly closing her eyes and praying for strength, Lily went to the door and opened it
. Johnathan stood there holding a glass vase filled with bright and cheerful flowers. The sunny arrangement was so out of sync with how she felt that Lily almost burst into hysterics.
Although it seemed obvious, she greeted him with, “Johnathan, what are you doing here?”
“Lily, we need to talk,” he said, edging closer to her. His eyes were intent on hers. “Please hear me out. I think I deserve that much after the time we’ve spent together.”
She had already said her piece to him and absolutely didn’t want to discuss it further, but she knew there could be a House of Archer camera person along at any time. She didn’t dare continue this conversation in the hallway.
“Fine,” she reluctantly agreed, stepping aside to let him pass.
When the door closed and she was suddenly alone with him, she started rethinking her decision. What the hell was she going to say to him? she asked herself as her heart hobbled in her chest. Hadn’t it been awful enough going through this the first time?
“Is someone showering?” Johnathan asked when he stopped in the living area and turned to face her.
Blinking, she mentally switched directions and remembered that the tub water was still running. “Crap. That’s for my bath. I wanted to take a quick one before joining everyone for dinner,” she said, hoping the small fib might help move things along with him. “I only have a few minutes to get ready.”
“Oh.”
He looked so forlorn that Lily felt awful for lying. “I’ll just shut it off so we can talk,” she murmured, heading into the bathroom.
She twisted the tub handles to stop the water and then moved over to the vanity to shake two antacid tablets into her hand. It was a pitiful attempt to try and stem the churning tide in her stomach, but she had to do something. She chewed them down as quickly as she could manage and rinsed before returning to the bedroom area.
Johnathan had set the vase of flowers down on the coffee table near her purse and was now pacing as she exited the bathroom. She saw the look of hope in his eyes when he spotted her and felt like the lowest wretch on the planet.
Best to do it quickly, she told herself.
“Johnathan, I haven’t changed my mind,” she began, rushing on when he seemed like he was about to interrupt. “I’m so sorry you came back here to hear me say that. I thought I made myself clear last night.”
“I heard you, Lily, but I think you’re wrong,” he argued, stepping closer and taking her hands. “We have so much in common and we were doing so well together. After thinking about it yesterday, I realized that I pressured you with the marriage proposal. I scared you off.”
She started to shake her head, but he tightened his hold on her hands and continued, “Yes I did. I know you, Lily. We’re perfect for each other and I think you know that. I just love you so much that I tried to push you into committing too soon. I swear, if you give me another chance I won’t ask you to marry me again. We can do it whenever you’re ready.”
The words couldn’t have been scripted any better to sway her resolve. So when she once again searched her heart and instantly confirmed that she didn’t want a future with Johnathan, it should have eased some of her guilt.
It didn’t.
She couldn’t believe this. Why did the universe insist on piling shit on her when she was already at her lowest point? She felt like the hugest bitch for hurting him this way.
Pulling her hands from his, she shook her head and said, “I’m sorry, Johnathan. I just don’t feel the same way.”
The look on his face sliced into her heart. She thought he finally understood what she was trying to tell him.
Then his expression changed.
“No,” he said fiercely, grabbing her and yanking her against him.
The act was so abrupt and his grip so painful that it took her several seconds to register his lips pressed desperately to hers. Fear seized her, overshadowing everything else she was feeling. She shoved hard against him and twisted her head to break the contact with his mouth, nearly falling when she managed to free herself.
“Johnathan!” she gasped. “What the hell are you doing?”
She tasted blood on her lower lip. Her rapid heartbeat was surely visible through the cotton robe. The thin garment made her feel even more vulnerable. She crossed her arms over herself, trying to rub the stinging from her biceps where he had grabbed her. She glanced to the side to see how far the closest phone or weapon was.
“I’m fighting for our love,” he declared, advancing again.
“But there is no love,” she cried, backing away and holding up a trembling hand to stop him. “God, I wish I had another response for you, but I don’t. My heart won’t ever belong to you.”
Finally, she saw acceptance sink in. His obvious devastation over her words brought fresh tears to her eyes, but she fought them back. She couldn’t afford to show him any sign of weakness.
“I see,” he said in a rough voice. He cleared his throat and continued, “I hope you know what you’re doing, Montgomery.”
The nickname made her press a hand against her mouth to stifle a sob. He stared at her for another minute as though memorizing her and then walked stiffly to the door. He let himself out. The sound of the door closing behind him sounded like a cocking gun in the otherwise silent room.
Lily stood where she was for a long time, staring at the door. While she knew she had done the right thing, she still felt despicable.
Eventually, she shuffled on feet that had gone numb back into the bathroom and removed her robe. Not caring that the water had grown cold, she sank down into the tub. Then she finally allowed herself to break.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The meeting with Christopher took place in the lobby bar and went much as Archer expected. His manager was glad that The Void hadn’t been involved in the idiotic food fight, yet he knew it wasn’t good having the other bands take all the press from it.
“I’m not asking you to start food fights to make headlines, Archer,” Christopher said over what remained of the beer he had ordered. “But it’s time to take control of this show. Don’t forget how excited you were to do this. We both know what it means to the band...what it could mean for everyone’s careers.”
Archer took a drink of his own beer as he contemplated Christopher’s words. He knew what his manager was implying. He wanted Archer to make his relationship with Lily known and use it to create show content, and he wanted him to do it now.
“Lily doesn’t want me influencing her career,” he said at last. “You and I both know that by being connected to me, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
“Would that really be such a bad thing?”
Frowning, Archer said, “I don’t think so. But Lily does.”
Christopher gave him a pointed look. “Perhaps it’s time you stepped in and helped her even when she doesn’t think she wants it.”
Maybe he was right, Archer thought. How did that saying go? It was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Once Lily’s writing career was solidly off the ground, would she really care that he and his reputation helped her accomplish it? Hell, she’d probably thank him.
“I’ll consider it,” he relented.
“I hope you do,” Christopher said, signing the receipt on the table and getting to his feet. “And I hope it’s soon. I have confidence in you to do the right thing.”
Archer sat at the table by himself for a few minutes after his manager left, wondering just what “the right thing” was in all of this. It had gotten so complicated in such a short amount of time.
Lily said she wanted to do this for him, but he wasn’t sure she really knew what she was getting into. Once reality set in, would she actually still want to be a part of this? Would she still want to be in a relationship with him?
Would she still be his friend?
The thought of the answer being no made him feel physically ill. He pressed his hand to his stomach like Lily had earlier and considered the significance of his
reaction. Had anything else ever impacted him like this?
His emotional response to that question was so strong that he brought his hands to his head. Jesus, he had to write.
He shoved away from the table and surged to his feet, ignoring the stares aimed in his direction from people he knew recognized him. One look at Trey standing against the wall nearby was enough to have the bodyguard on alert and prepared to intercept anyone who tried to approach.
Archer strode with laser focus to the elevators. He got on the first car that opened and didn’t feel the least qualm when Trey stopped anyone else from entering.
As the elevator climbed to his floor, Archer pulled out his cell phone. He knew from his own experience with the House of Archer interviews that Lily would have her phone turned off right then. That didn’t stop him from texting her and leaving her a voicemail asking her to call him when she was done.
He knew Elijah wasn’t going to be easy on her. Just thinking about how hard the producer might push her made Archer consider going to the filming room and calling a halt to the interviews. Christopher’s words about the show and their careers rang in his head, though, stopping him.
The conflict raging within him had him exiting the elevator at a jog. He yanked his key card out of his pocket and opened the door to his hotel room before Trey could reach him. His bodyguard wouldn’t be happy about him running into the room before he could check it, but Archer didn’t care.
He rushed over and grabbed the pad of paper and pencil he kept on the coffee table. Then he flopped down on the loveseat and started writing.
There’s a war waging inside of me.
So many things that I didn’t see.
I had a plan of attack, a man on a mission,
I was blinded by my own ambition.
You came to me, my heart, my friend,
And I saw you as the means to an end.
What was one more sacrifice
When I wasn’t the one to pay the price?
But you’ve proven to be a contradiction,