Li sat next to me and guided me through the game process. At first, I never knew if it was a wise decision to trade wheat for brick or ore for sheep, but I could always look to Li for help. After a few turns, I started to feel confident enough to hold my own. I changed two of my settlements for cities, and all the boys groaned.
Near the end of the game, it was obvious that the final point was going to be a race between a boy named Shen and me. He ribbed me good-naturedly about how he was so close that I’d never make it. I put down a sheep, an ore, and a wheat and bought a development card. It was a bonus point, the last one of the game.
“I win!”
The boys grumbled about beginner’s luck and made a big show of counting all my points one more time just to make sure my count was accurate. I was surprised to learn that hours had gone by. My stomach growled to remind me.
Li stood up and stretched. “Time to eat.”
His grandmother had set out a delicious buffet for us. The boys piled their plates full of fried rice, pot stickers, steamed pork dumplings, vegetable stir fry, and miniature shrimp egg rolls. Li grabbed sodas for both of us, and we sat down in the living room.
He expertly picked up his pork dumpling with chopsticks, and said, “So tell me about you, Kelsey. Something besides wushu. What did you do this summer?”
“Oh, that. I umm . . . worked in India as an intern.”
“Wow! That’s amazing! What did you do?”
“Mostly cataloging and keeping records of ruins, art, and historical stuff. What about you? What did you do this summer?” I turned the question on him, eager to get the spotlight off of India.
“I worked for Grandfather in the studio mostly. I’m trying to save up for medical school. I got my undergraduate degree from PSU in biology.”
I quickly did the math, which didn’t seem to add up. “How old are you, Li?”
He grinned. “Twenty-two. I took a lot of classes and went to summer school too. Actually, all the gamers are in college. Meii is majoring in chemistry, Shen is studying computer engineering, Wen has graduated and is working on his master’s in statistical analysis, and then there’s me in medicine.”
“You guys sure are . . . goal-oriented.”
“What about you? What’s your major, Kelsey?”
“International studies with a minor in art history. Right now I’m studying India,” I said, popping another dumpling in my mouth. “But maybe I should switch to wushu to get rid of all these calories.”
Li laughed and took my plate. We wandered back to the game room, and I stopped to look at a picture of Li and his grandfather Chuck. They were holding three trophies each.
“Wow, so the studio won all of those?”
Li peered at the picture and flushed. “No, those are all mine. I won them in a martial arts tournament.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. “I didn’t know you were that good. That’s quite an accomplishment.”
“I’m sure my grandparents will tell you all about it,” Li said, steering me back into the kitchen. “There’s nothing they like to do more than talk up their posterity. Right, Grandma Zhi?” Li pecked her on the cheek and she fluttered her hands to shoo him away from her dishwater.
The guys had set up a new game that was much easier to learn. I lost, but it was really fun. By the time the game was done, it was past midnight. Li walked me out to my car in the cold, starry evening.
“Thanks for coming, Kelsey. I had a great time with you. Do you think you’d like to do this again? We get together every two weeks.”
“Sure. Sounds like fun. So does my winning the first game mean you’re going to go easy on me in wushu class?” I bantered.
“Nuh-uh. When you win, I go harder on you.”
I laughed. “Remind me to lose next time. What happens when you win?”
He grinned. “I’ll be giving that question some serious thought.”
Li backed away and stood under the porch light, watching me drive off.
I climbed wearily into bed thinking that, given enough time, I might actually learn to like Li. He was fun and sweet. I didn’t really feel anything for him other than friendship, but maybe that could change in the future. Normal life was starting to feel . . . normal again. I rolled onto my side, cuddled under my grandmother’s quilt, and accidentally knocked my white stuffed tiger off the bed.
For a while, I considered leaving it on the floor or putting it in the closet. I lay still, quietly staring at the ceiling, trying to muster the strength of mind to do it. My resolve lasted only five minutes, and I berated myself for being weak. Leaning over the bed, I cuddled my stuffed tiger to my chest, apologizing profusely for even thinking about it.
4
A Christmas Present
Now that Halloween was over, my focus turned to preparing for finals and avoiding Artie. Somehow, he tracked down my cell phone number and called me at exactly 5:00 p.m. every evening. Sometimes, he waited for me after class. The guy would not take a hint.
I also spent time trying to sort out my feelings for Jason. We went on a few more dates, but I always felt like we were communicating on two different wavelengths. He thought Shakespeare, poetry, and books were boring, and I couldn’t appreciate the subtle differences between college and pro teams. I don’t think he cared much that we weren’t compatible. Deep down, I knew that my relationship with Jason was not heading anywhere, but he was a mental diversion, and I still liked to partner with him in class.
Just when I thought I had casual dating figured out, Li decided to make it even more complicated. We were chatting in the studio when he suddenly became quiet. He rolled his water bottle back and forth nervously between his palms.
Finally, he spoke, “Kelsey . . . I wanted to ask you if you’d like to see me. Alone. Like a real date.”
My mind started to race with confused thoughts. “Oh. Umm, yeah, sure,” I said slowly. “I like hanging out with you. You’re a lot of fun and easy to talk to.”
He grimaced. “Right, but do you like me like me, or do you just like me?”
I thought for a minute about what to say next. “Well, to be honest with you, I think you’re great, and I like you a lot. In fact, you’re at the top of my like list. But, I don’t know if I can be serious with anyone right now. I just sort of broke up with someone recently, and it still hurts.”
“Oh. It’s hard to get over things like that. I understand. I’d still want to see you, though. I mean, if you think you’d like to go out with me and if you’re ready to.”
I considered a moment. “Okay, I’d like that.”
“So, how about we start with a martial arts movie? There’s a place that shows old movies at midnight on Friday nights. Want to go?”
“Okay, but only if you promise to teach me one of the cool moves from the movie,” I added, happy that we had settled the matter. Sort of, anyway, I thought as we parted ways.
Li and I began to see each other outside of game night and in class. He was a gentleman and our dates were always fun and interesting. Despite having all this attention, I felt lonely. It wasn’t the kind of loneliness I could cure by being around other people. My soul felt lonely. Nighttime was the hardest because I felt him, even an ocean away. An invisible tether was wrapped tightly around my heart, connecting us. Its relentless pull kept trying to tug me back. Maybe someday the cords would wear and finally break.
Wushu class was the perfect outlet for venting some of the frustration I felt with my life. The moves were precise and didn’t require any emotions at all, which was a welcome change. I was starting to get pretty good too. My arms and legs had more definition, and I felt much stronger as well. If someone attacked me, I might actually be able to fend them off, which was an empowering thought. Who needed tiger protection? I’d just kick my enemy in the face.
As students, we weren’t supposed to have thoughts like that, but most people didn’t actually have to face immortal Kappa monkeys that wanted to eat you, like I did. So I allowed myself to
visualize my many possible opponents and kicked with intensity. Even Li made a comment that my kicks were getting stronger.
Li made good on his bargain and taught me an offensive move from the movie. He let me practice on him but I kept messing it up, and we fell to the mat in a tangle, laughing.
“Kelsey, are you alright? Did I hurt you?”
I couldn’t stop laughing. “No, I’m fine. Great move, huh?”
Li was leaning over me, his face close to mine. “Not bad. Now I’ve got you right where I want you.”
All of a sudden, the happy, light atmosphere blew away and was replaced by thick, expectant tension. He leaned his face a little closer to mine and hesitated, watching my reaction. I froze and felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Turning slightly away, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t kiss him. The idea felt nice, but not goose-bumpy nice. It just didn’t seem right.
“I’m sorry, Li.”
He chucked me lightly under my chin. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s get a milkshake; what do ya say?” His eyes were a little sad, but he seemed determined to keep things lighthearted between us and quickly diverted my attention to other things.
Mr. Kadam broke through my dating funk with welcome news. He’d figured out a major section of Durga’s prophecy and asked me to help with some research, which I was more than willing to do. I pulled out a notepad and asked, “What have you got for me?”
“The tests of the four houses. Specifically, it says a house of gourds, a house of temptresses, and a house of winged creatures of some kind.”
“What kind of winged creatures?” I gulped.
“I’m not sure at this point.”
“What about the fourth house?”
“It would appear there are two houses with winged animals, I believe one will be a type of bird but later in the prophecy metal or iron is also mentioned. The other winged animal has the symbol for ‘large’ next to it and the same symbol is found again later in the prophecy. I’d like you to research any myths you can find about passing through houses or a test of houses and let me know what you come up with.”
“I’ll let you know.”
“Good.”
The rest of the conversation turned to mundane things and though I was happy he was including me in the research, my stomach churned at the thought of returning to India. I was all set for the danger, the magic, and the strangely supernatural, but going back also meant I’d have to face him again. I was good at going through the motions of an ordinary life but underneath the surface, where I could hide my innermost feelings, something churned. I was disconnected, out of place. India called to me, sometimes softly, sometimes with a roar, but the beckoning was constant and I wondered sometimes if I’d ever be able to settle down to a normal life again.
Thanksgiving meant a tofurky feast at Sarah and Mike’s. I kept glancing at their festive pumpkins and squash cornucopia during the meal trying to figure out how such friendly-looking gourds might become something dangerous, and I spent the time wondering how they would play into the next quest. It was a cold and rainy day, but my foster parents had the fireplace blazing. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed some of the vegetable dishes. I couldn’t do the sugar-free, gluten-free pie, though. It just seemed wrong.
“So, what’s new? Any hot guys you want to tell us about at school?” Sarah teased.
I looked up from the pumpkin pie I was stabbing cautiously with a fork. “Um, well, I am kind of dating,” I admitted shyly. “There’s this guy named Li and then there’s Jason. It’s nothing serious. We’ve only gone out a few times.”
Sarah was thrilled, and both she and Mike pestered me with a lot of questions that I didn’t really want to answer.
Luckily, Jennifer had also invited both Li and me for Thanksgiving dinner, and I managed to excuse myself from my foster parents’ in plenty of time to head to Jennifer’s. She lived in a nice house in West Salem. I brought a lemon meringue pie, the first one I’d ever attempted to make, and I was proud of the result. I’d let the meringue toast just a little too long, but other than that, it looked good.
Li lit up when he saw me at the door and said to Jennifer, “See? You break the lucky wishbone, and your wish does come true!”
He confided to me that he’d already stuffed himself at his family’s Thanksgiving dinner but that he’d saved his dessert stomach for my pie—and was true to his word. Li ate half of my pie in one sitting.
Jennifer also had made a pumpkin pie, a marionberry pie, and a cheesecake. I took a little sample from each and was in heaven. Li groaned, complaining that his stomach was so full he’d have to sleep over. Jennifer’s kids jumped up and down at the thought, accidentally dislodging their pilgrim hats, but settled down immediately when she popped in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving DVD.
I was helping Jennifer clean up in the kitchen when she asked, “So? How’s it going with,” she whispered knowingly, “Li?”
“Umm, it’s going fine.”
“Are you guys, you know, together?”
“It’s hard to say. I think it’s too early in our relationship to call us together.”
She shrunk a little and frowned at the dishwater. “Is it still that other one, the one you never talk about, who’s holding you back?”
I paused with my damp towel in mid-swipe of her nice turkey platter.
“I’m sorry if I was rude. Honestly, it’s just hard to talk about him. But what do you want to know?”
She picked up another plate, washed it, and dipped it in the rinse water. “Well, who is he? Where is he? Why aren’t you together?”
“Well, he’s in India. And we aren’t together because . . .” I whispered, “Because . . . I left him.”
“Was he mean to you?”
“No, no. Nothing like that. He was . . . perfect.”
“So he didn’t want you to leave?”
“No.”
“Didn’t he want to come with you?”
The corner of my mouth quirked up in a small smile. “I had to beg him to stay behind.”
“Then I don’t understand. Why did you leave him?”
“He was too . . . I was too . . .” I sighed. “It’s complicated.”
“Did you love him?”
I set down the platter that I’d been wiping dry for five minutes and twisted the towel in my hands. Quietly, I answered, “Yes.”
“And now?”
“And now . . . when I’m alone . . . I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.”
She nodded and washed a few more dishes. The silverware clinked softly in the bubbly water. Angling her head slightly, she asked, “What’s his name?”
I stared dully at the kitchen window. It was dark outside, and I could see myself reflected with my slumped shoulders and dead eyes.
“Ren. His name is Ren.”
Saying his name bruised my already broken heart. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and looked up at the window again, just in time to see Li in the reflection standing behind me. He turned and walked out of the room, but not before I saw his expression. I’d hurt his feelings.
Jennifer reached over and squeezed my arm. “Go talk to him. It’s better to discuss things quickly. Otherwise, mountains are made of molehills.”
This situation already felt like a mountain to me, but she was right. I needed to talk to Li.
He had left the house already. As I gathered up my things and said thanks, Jennifer strolled out of the kitchen and waved me on.
I headed out the door and found him leaning up against his car with his arms folded across his chest. “Li?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
He sighed deeply. “It’s okay. You warned me before we started this that it was going to be hard. I guess I only have one question.”
“Okay.”
He turned to face me and looked deeply into my eyes. “Are you still in love with him?”
“I . . . I think so.”
He visibly deflated.
&
nbsp; “But, Li, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone. He’s on another continent. If he wanted to be with me that badly, he could be, and he’s not. He’s not here. He hasn’t even called me, in fact. I just need . . . time. A little bit more time to . . . to put aside these feelings. I want to be able to.” I reached out and took his hand. “It’s not fair to you, I know. You deserve to date someone who doesn’t have this kind of baggage.”
“Kelsey, everyone has baggage of some kind.” He kicked the tire of his car. “I like you and I want you to like me. Maybe it will work out if we just take it slow. Learn to be friends for a while first.”
“Is that enough for you?”
“It’ll have to be. I don’t have any other options except not seeing you, and that’s not a good option for me.”
“Okay, then, we’ll take it slow.”
Li smiled and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “You’re worth waiting for, Kelsey. And just for the record, the guy was crazy to let you leave.”
Though I had borrowed stacks of books from the library and spent countless hours online, I still hadn’t found any useful information about the test of the four houses. I hoped the winged creatures on this part of the quest were going to be harmless butterflies, but somehow I doubted it would be that easy. At least we now had a clue as to how the air theme was going to fit in, I thought.
With my head tucked in books most of the time, Thanksgiving led quickly into the Christmas season. Bright Christmas displays could be seen in all the neighborhoods and all the store windows. I continued to date both Li and Jason, and in the middle of December, Li took me to his cousin’s wedding.
During the last two weeks, I’d been telling myself repeatedly that I really wanted things to work out with Li, that it would be alright if I opened my heart to him. He looked very handsome when he picked me up. He wore a dark suit, and my heart stirred when I saw him. Maybe not with love, but at least with happiness to be with him.
“Wow, Kelsey. You look great!”
I had dipped into my forbidden closet and come out with a peach princess dress made of satin and organza. The top had a fitted corset that flowed into a peach calf-length petal skirt.