In fact, the first time I met West, Rose and I were trying to get my armoire up the stairs to move me in. We’d powered that beast up two flights and were halfway up the last, but we were worn out. I felt it slip in slow motion, and then bam — there was West, tall, dark and handsome, catching it before it smashed into a trillion pieces. That was before the beard and man bun, but let me just tell you, it didn’t hinder the hotness. I’m pretty sure my undies melted on eye contact. Not gonna pretend like I wasn’t bummed when I found out he had a girlfriend, but I put him in the friend compartment, and before long I’d forgotten all about that first meeting.
Mostly.
I sighed and put on a little lip gloss, just enough mascara to keep me from looking like an albino, and a tiny bit of blush — the bare minimum amount of makeup to make me look fresh and together. Effortless. You know, like I hadn’t been thinking about the date for thirty-six hours straight or something.
I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror, tugging at my tank and inspecting my backside. Perks to being a pro ballet dancer? The body. Some dancers were never happy with the way they looked and took being thin way too far, like when they’d get that weird, pointy shoulder bone that sticks up. Two places where I drew the line on skinny — creepy shoulder bones and ankles so thin that they look like they’d snap when you’re en pointe.
People always thought it was weird when I told them that almost every ballerina I knew smoked like a chimney to suppress their appetites and exorcise the stress that came with our job. I probably would too, if I hadn’t puked my guts up at sixteen when I smoked for the first time with Jenni. We all drank too, though we had to be careful around big performances. Mostly we danced shorter shows, around thirty minutes each with a few scheduled each night, though we’d usually only dance in one. Each piece would run for several weeks on multiple nights, and then we’d cycle some out and rotate new ones in.
I didn’t smoke, but I did love to eat. As long as I had clean lines in a leotard — it was virtually impossible not to, given the number of hours I danced every day — I was happy. Once I went on a week-long hamburger bender. One glorious week full of pickles and mushrooms and bacon and cheese. And then it hit my hips, and I made the disagreeable decision to only have one burger a month. Giving them up completely just wasn’t an option.
Everybody thinks ballet dancers are a bunch of uptight dance robots, but the truth is that unless we had something big coming, we led pretty normal lives for people in our twenties. Besides the sixty-plus-hour work weeks.
I walked through the apartment, slipped on my flats, and hung my bag on my shoulder, and within a minute, I was heading toward Habits in the cool spring evening, trying not to walk too fast and failing. I know I looked like a woman on a mission, but I couldn’t help it — I reached the front door in no time, pulling it open with a whoosh before blowing inside.
Everyone sat at the bar except Astrid. I cursed her, reaching for my phone to bang out a text. I’m here, where are you?
Almost there.
You said you were here!
No, I didn’t. I said for you to meet me there. Read the text back, betch.
I scrolled back through. She was right. Well, hurry up. You have ten minutes!
Sir, yes, sir!
I huffed and stuffed my phone back in my bag. Astrid couldn’t be on time to save her life. Seriously. If she were in a movie where she had to show up at midnight with the money, the bad guy would totally blow up the building just to prove he wasn’t bluffing.
Everyone was lined up at the bar, and their faces swung around when I approached. “Hey, guys.” I took a seat next to West.
Rose raised an eyebrow at me. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a ‘date?’” She made air quotes with her fingers.
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I do have a date, but Astrid said she was coming and wanted to say hi.”
Patrick groaned.
“I know, I know,” I said as I took off my bag. “I just hope she hustles. I’m leaving in ten minutes either way.”
Rose set a glass of water in front of me. “What are you guys doing tonight?”
“Oh, you know, just a little rehearsal.” I wiggled my eyebrows.
West gave me a look. “Has he ever taken you on a proper date?”
I gave him a look of my own. “No, but we’re a little busy.”
One dark eyebrow raised. “Not busy enough to stop you from ‘rehearsing,’ it would seem.”
I gaped dramatically. “Are you judging me, Weston Williams?”
He picked up his beer, feigning indifference, that liar. “Not at all, just observing.” He took a drink.
I sniffed and picked up my water.
Rose just smiled at me from across the bar. “Oh, don’t let LumberWest get to you. I think his bun’s too tight today.”
I laughed, and West rolled his eyes. “Ha, ha, Rosie.”
“Really, though,” she continued, trying to rally me, “as long as you’re happy, we’re happy for you.”
I smiled back even though the seemingly harmless statement shook me up a little. Did Blane make me happy? I mean, I was giddy and overwhelmed, was that the same thing? It was too soon to tell. Maybe after tonight I’d know for sure.
“Thanks.” I nudged West in the arm, eager to change the subject. “Maggie flies in tomorrow. Exciting!”
West leaned on the bar and smiled at the mention of his sister as Cooper and Patrick chatted and Rose made a lap down the bar. I looked West over — dark hair tied back, the small strands curling against his neck and that one piece in the front that would never stay put. His eyes were so blue, with the longest lashes, and I shifted, feeling a little strange. My gaze caught on his bicep where his T-shirt stretched around his arm, then followed the lines of his tattooed sleeve, the dark swirling words that wrapped around pages of books that turned into origami cranes and flew away.
I blinked and met his eyes again when he spoke.
“It’ll be good to have Maggie close by, especially after everything that happened in Jackson. She needs a fresh start.”
“New York is one of the best places for that. We’ll make her forget all about that jerkburger.”
He smiled wider from behind his dark beard. “I’m sure you will. Getting away from home will be the best thing that ever happened to her. You two ready for another roommate?”
“We are. I made her some space in the bathroom, and our room is set. Hopefully she likes everything.”
“Nervous about sharing a room?”
“Nah. If I could survive Astrid through junior high, Maggie will be a piece of cake.” I pulled out my phone again and glanced at the time. “Ugh. She’s such a pain in the ass.”
“In a hurry, Lil?” Astrid said from behind me, completely unapologetic.
I turned in my seat and rolled my eyes at her. “Said the girl who’s too busy being popular to be bothered with such things as punctuality.”
Astrid took off her black designer bag, and I cringed when she set it on the sticky bar top. That bag cost more than three months of my rent. She sat on the other side of me and crossed her long, skinny legs. Somehow she made black jeans, a white tee, and a leather jacket look like couture. As far as I knew, they could have been.
“I love you too, little sister.” She smiled and turned to the bar. “Hey, Rose. Can I get a vodka soda?”
“No prob, Astrid. What’s new?”
She ran her fingers through her blond hair. “I have a shoot for Barney’s tomorrow, so it’s the old liquid diet until tomorrow night.” She held up the glass that Rose passed her and shook the contents.
“That’s so bad for you, Astrid.” I shook my head, openly judging her. It was my sisterly right. “You can’t just starve yourself.”
Astrid took a sip. “Remind me about that after you’ve been on a forty-foot billboard in Times Square.”
Cooper spun his seat around and leaned back against the bar to address us. “While I’ve got you all here, I’m
on the list for Noir Saturday night, want to go?”
Rose lit up. “Oh, man. Everybody’s talking about that place. I heard it’s like Gatsby meets Blade Runner.”
West perked up at that. “Sounds interesting. It’s hard to get into?”
Cooper’s lips bent in that smarmy half-smile he wore so often. “For most people.”
Astrid looked unimpressed. “Gretchen went last week. Said they do an aerial show every hour with dancers they snagged from Cirque du Soleil.”
Rose beamed. “I’m down. I think I can get Shelby to cover my shift. Come on, Lil. You have to come.”
It really did sound fun, but it also sounded like a long ass day of rehearsals and a show on Sunday. “I don’t know, guys. I’ve got Serenade on Saturday and rehearsal all day Sunday.”
“Ugh,” Rose groaned. “This isn’t an opportunity you’ll have again any time soon.”
I shrugged. “I’d rather sleep than wear heels.”
She made a puppy dog face.
I sighed. “I’ll think about it.”
Rose smiled like she knew she had me. “I’ll take that. I swear I won’t get you wasted.”
Cooper looked down the line. “West? Tricky?”
I didn’t miss Patrick watching Rose. “Yeah, I’m in.”
But West shook his head. “I don’t know. Sounds like a good time, but I’ve gotta see where I’m at with work.”
“Astrid?” Cooper’s brow was up, and I couldn’t tell if he really wanted her to go or was asking out of obligation.
“Sounds like a good time.”
“Good. I’ll reserve a table, then. And maybe we can convince Mom and Dad here to come with us.”
Astrid smirked. “I’ll work on Lily. You work on West.”
He smirked back at her. “Deal.”
Cooper leaned over to talk to Patrick as Rose made another trip down the bar, and Astrid took the opportunity to turn to me, eyeing me like she knew a thing or two. “So, Blaney, huh?”
I smiled despite the fact that she used the nickname again. Rose snickered from a few feet away as she poured a drink, but I didn’t care. I hunched toward my sister, feeling like a teenager. “I know, right? I couldn’t even believe it. Blane Baker.” I shook my head, awestruck all over again.
“How did that even happen?”
“It started when we found out we were partnered for Swan Lake. He and Nadia broke up like a week later, and he turned the charm up to eleven.” I’d dropped my voice, feeling like West was listening from behind me. “He asked me to rehearse with him, which I was hoping was code for something. It totally was.” I giggled.
Astrid looked amused. “Look at you.”
“I know!” Excitement washed over me again. “It’s so crazy. I’ve wanted him forever, and now we’re seeing each other.”
“Naked,” she leaned in, smiling as Rose leaned across the bar to get her head in the quiet conversation.
I laughed. “God. I don’t know how to handle having something I’ve idealized for so long.”
Astrid’s smile faded into something softer. “Well, nothing’s what it seems. Modeling isn’t what I imagined it would be. The reality of being a professional dancer isn’t what you pictured when you were a little girl. When you look behind the curtain after dreaming about something for that long, there’s a lot of room for disappointment. You never find exactly what you were looking for. So just be careful, okay?”
And that right there was one of the many reasons why my sister was amazing. “Thanks, Astrid. I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”
“And your drawers, while you’re at it,” Rose said with a laugh, a little louder than I would have liked.
I threw a paper coaster at her. “I’m not wearing any, Nosy Rosie.”
I didn’t realize everyone was listening until they all laughed — everyone except West, who gave me a look I couldn’t quite place, one that made me feel like I owed him an explanation. But I shook off the thought and stood, hanging my bag on my shoulder. “Anyway, I’ve got to run. Have fun, guys.” I kissed Astrid on the cheek. “Thanks, Astrid.”
“Any time. Don’t get into any trouble.”
I waggled my brows. “No promises. Bye, guys.”
A chorus of goodbyes washed over me, but my brain was already rolling toward Blane and what I hoped would be the bang of the decade.
West
I watched Lily walk away as annoyance twisted around in my guts like snakes, though I couldn’t figure out why. I’d only caught bits and pieces of the conversation, straining to hear what she was saying while trying to look inconspicuous. It wasn’t easy.
I didn’t like that she was worked up again, and hearing her whispering about this Blane guy irritated me. I tried to ignore the fact she didn’t have panties on.
My mind hung on the whole thing like a snag in a sweater that I couldn’t leave alone. I wanted to know what made this guy so special that she’d break her long-held oath of staying single for him.
Astrid shook her head as she moved a seat closer to me. “I don’t know about all of this.”
My brow dropped, and Rose shot her a look. I was so anxious to get the dirt that I took the opening without a second thought. “You mean Blane?”
Astrid leaned on the bar, the quintessential supermodel. She and Lily looked a lot alike — tall and blond, with long arms and legs, small faces and big, almond-shaped blue eyes. Astrid usually had an air of apathy about her, but it was times like this when I knew it was a show.
“Yup, good old Blaney Baker.” The words were heavy with cynicism, and as she took a drink, I felt my heart sink.
“What’s the deal with him?” I asked, and Patrick leaned forward to try to listen. I moved my stool back so he and Cooper could hear.
“You guys know about Nadia, right?”
We all grumbled our assent.
“Right. So she’s always been a bit ahead of Lily in the company, until now. Now Lil’s getting the roles Nadia has or wants, since I guess the Master in Chief of the company likes Lily paired with Blane. Blane who just dumped Nadia, maybe for Lily.”
Something flared in my chest — jealousy? I pushed the thought away, telling myself I was just worried for her welfare.
“So part of the issue is Nadia, but the rest is that Blane is a total douchebag.”
“How do you know?” Patrick asked in challenge. “You don’t know the guy personally, do you?”
“No, but Sebastian Ames and I are besties, and he’s been in the company with them since they were at SAB. The stories I’ve heard over mimosas and eggs sardou would make your head spin. Like Blane thinks Jager Bombs are ‘tight,’ and Bastian said he uses this special lotion made for strippers that’s like part baby oil, part self-tanner. And Nadia is like next-level. One time, she soaked a sock in fish oil and stuck it in the bottom of one dancer’s bag for flirting with Blane. Or another time when she and Blane broke up, she made a fake Craigslist ad for ‘male company’ with his phone number on it. The instructions said to only call between nine at night and six in the morning, no voicemails. I’m telling you guys, this has the potential to blow up in Lily’s face.”
Rose stared Astrid down. “I don’t know if Lily would appreciate this conversation happening without her here.”
Astrid waved her off. “Please. I don’t think Lily sees what’s really going on, and she needs somebody to look after her. Bastian’s watching her from the inside, but she’s going to come to all of us for advice, and we need to know what we’re dealing with.”
I had a million questions, but I was torn between wanting to know everything and wanting to respect her privacy. “Lily’s a big girl. She can take care of herself. Why shouldn’t we let her make her own choices?”
“Because she’s blinded by his douchesparkle. This guy is trouble for Lil, and she doesn’t see it. Blane and Nadia break up all the time, so chances are, it’s only a matter of time until he goes back to her. And when he does, he could tell her everything. I can’t imagine that
knowledge would make Nadia happy, and she’s already got it out for Lily.”
I fumed. “She cut the stitches in Lily’s ribbons at a show last night.”
Rose’s eyes shot wide. “She what?”
I nodded. “Lily said she couldn’t prove it or she would have told Ward.”
“That bitch.” Rose muttered.
Cooper spoke up, face tight with concern when he asked Astrid, “What do you suggest we do about it?”
Astrid shook her head with her eyes on her drink. “No idea. She’s not going to hear us if we try to convince her, so I guess we just prepare for the end of it. Nadia is ruthless, and I think she’s jealous of Lily. Plus, she knows about Lily’s crush and loves to make her look bad, especially in front of Blane. If she figures out they’re hooking up, it’s going to get ugly.”
I picked up my beer, but my stomach turned at the thought of someone hurting her. I set my glass down again. “This sucks, Astrid. What the hell are we supposed to do with this information? How are we supposed to watch her back?”
“Arm yourself with knowledge, Weston. She’s fulfilling a fantasy right now. I mean, she’s been about Blane since she was fifteen. Just the ultimate crush of her entire life. No big deal.” She shook her head. “You don’t just walk away from that. She’s going to have to see it through. I don’t doubt she’ll figure him out — she’s too smart not to — but I can’t imagine a scenario in which there’s a peaceful ending for Lily and Blane.”
I rubbed my face, wishing things were different. Lily deserved to be loved, not dicked around by some beef-headed asshole. “Are you saying there’s absolutely no chance he could care about her?”
“There’s always a chance, but from what Bastian’s told me, the guy’s a self-absorbed narcissist. Throw Nadia in on the whole situation, and it’s a time bomb.”
Rose and I glanced at each other, the worry on her face mirroring my own. “All right,” I started. “Then we’ll be there for Lily and try to help without getting involved.”