“Don’t” She said and started walking away again. What was her problem? She was the one who started all this.
“Don’t what? Come after you because I’m worried about you?”
She spun around and jabbed her finger in his chest. Even though he knew jabbing his chest was a mad tendency of hers, it was almost reassuring because it was part of the Lexi he knew and loved.
“You don’t care about me. If you did you wouldn’t have been squeezing that chick’s ass all night and letting her kiss you all over.”
“I was not squeezing her ass!” Lexi gave him a “get real” look and Jake conceded. “Ok, maybe once but it was only because that ass-fuck had his hands all over you.”
“That wasn’t my choice. He was the one making the moves, not me.”
“Why were you with him in the first place?”
“It doesn’t matter Jake because we aren’t together.”
Jake wanted to punch a wall. He didn’t need her or anyone else reminding him of the fact that they were no longer a couple.
“You don’t think I know that? You are slowly killing me each day Lexi by not being with me. I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Clearly you were upset when I was with the other girl so why don’t you give up the charade and come back to me.”
Anger lit up Lexi’s blue eyes. “Did you do all that to prove a point?” She pushed Jake in the chest. “God, you’re such a dick. Why would I ever go back to someone who would play mind games with me? Just so you know, I came here tonight to have one last night with my friends. I got here before everyone else and when Marcus asked me to play. I decided to go for it, have a little fun since it would be one of the last times we would all be together. Simple, innocent fun. But you had to take everything to another level by rubbing your little basketball player in my face. I would never do something like that to you, Jake.”
“But you did.” Jake shouted. “By playing with that ass-hat you hurt me.”
“Oh, so am I not allowed to ever talk to another member of the opposite sex ever again? Grow up Jake, I wasn’t doing anything wrong and you know it. You were the one who took it up a notch because you’re a jealous bastard. Well I hope you’re happy because after tonight you completely destroyed any chance of ever getting back together with me. I don’t want to be with someone who would purposely try to hurt me with someone else.”
Jake felt his stomach sink to the ground. She didn’t mean what she said. Jake tried to get closer to her but she wouldn’t let him, she kept backing away.
“Please, Lexi. I’m sorry. I was an idiot I just didn’t know how to react when I saw you with Marcus. I’m sorry I hurt you. Can we please talk about this?”
“No, Jake. Clearly you didn’t get it when I said I needed some time. Instead you tried to hurt me and make me jealous. Well you’re an ass and I don’t ever want to see you again. Good luck with your professional career, I’m sure you’re going to be fully satisfied especially by all the women who will be knocking at your door.”
With that Lexi turned around and ran off toward a cab that she must have called when Jake was chasing after her. Jake didn’t know what to do. He felt completely numb. Did he really just blow his last chance at ever getting back together with the love of his life? There was no way he was going to let that happen. He wouldn’t be able to go on if he knew she wouldn’t ever speak to him.
Jake turned toward the house to go back in but decided to go to take a long walk instead where he could think about what he did tonight and how he possibly destroyed his future, the only future he really wanted.
Chapter 19
Lexi pulled her graduation cap off her head and shook her hair loose. She never understood why the graduation caps had to be so hideous but she made it look as good as possible. Her mom showed up to her graduation but her dad stayed away which was a good call on his part because Lexi would not have been happy to see him. She was still bitter toward her dad and Lexi wasn’t sure when that feeling was ever going to leave.
She felt tired and not excited to be graduating. Life for all her friends was changing all around her and she felt like her life was at a standstill. The other night at the football party, Lexi thought she would have fun, never did she think she was going to see Jake hanging all over another girl right in front of her. The whole night made her physically sick, just thinking about it now twisted her stomach into a knot. She knew she was the one who broke things off with Jake but never did she think he would move ahead with someone else so fast.
When she left that night, she went straight to the apartment she was sharing with Margo and cried herself to sleep. Luckily by the time Margo arrived back home, Lexi was done crying so she didn’t have to deal with a million questions from Margo. Margo tried to bring up the party the next morning but Lexi refused to talk about it.
Lexi started her job at the shelter on Monday and she wasn’t really excited at all about the prospect of picking up dog crap and answering phones. This was not what she planned for her life. She had higher hopes for herself but she washed them away. Lexi occasionally thought what life would be like if she didn’t break up with Jake. She sure as hell wouldn’t have the awful nagging pain in her heart that she had to deal with on a daily basis. She would be taken care of and probably in some nice apartment looking over the ocean instead of sleeping on her friend’s couch.
Sometimes when Lexi looked at the decisions she made, she considered herself an idiot but then she would talk to her mom and realize why she broke up with Jake, she needed to be independent. She needed to find her own way before she could live a life with Jake, that’s if they even had a chance now. She blew up at him the other night and the look on his face was something Lexi would never forget. She had never seen Jake look so defeated, except for when she told him she didn’t love him. Why did she ever say that? It wasn’t the truth. She loved Jake, more than anything and she didn’t think she would ever stop loving him.
“Lex, take a picture with me.” Margo said, jarring Lexi out of her thoughts.
Lexi plastered on another fake smile so she could get through the day and just get home. She didn’t even want to walk in her graduation but her mom made her. Lexi would have been just fine with receiving her diploma in the mail.
Ha, her diploma, much good that was doing her. No employer wanted to touch her with a ten foot pole. That was what she got for spending her whole life focusing on softball and then her senior year focusing on helping someone else accomplishing their goals rather than thinking about her own future.
“Can I get a picture too?” Parker walked up next to Lexi and pulled her into a hug. “You look good, kid. So do you, Margo.”
“Thanks.” Margo beamed.
Lexi felt bad for Margo because Parker would be leaving for Atlanta shortly and Margo would never get the chance to act on the feelings she harbored for Parker. She wished there was something she could do for her friend but she knew there was nothing. Parker and Margo were going their separate ways, maybe someday they would meet up again, who knew?
“What are you girls doing after this?”
“Going out with our parents to eat.” Lexi chimed in.
“Look out!!!!! In coming graduate!” Mason nearly knocked Parker over with a tackle. Margo laughed and Lexi once again plastered on a fake smile.
“Dude, what are you doing?” Parker asked trying to catch his balance.
“Celebrating!” Mason threw his cap in the air and cheered.
“Don’t mind him, he’s drunk.” The all too familiar male voice came up from behind them. Lexi didn’t have to turn around to know who it was.
Jake.
“Let’s all get a picture together.” Margo said.
She handed her camera to Lexi’s mom and then grabbed Lexi’s waste to pull her in. Jake stood on the other side of Lexi and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as well as Mason’s who was doing the can-can while holding onto Jake.
“Say go Bears!” Lexi’s mom said.
&nbs
p; “GO BEARS!!!” They all said while Mason shouted.
Jake leaned down into Lexi’s ear and said, “Congrats, Lex.”
His breath caressed her cheek and all Lexi wanted to do was lean her head into Jake’s chest to seek comfort, comfort she had been missing for a while. Instead she just looked up at him and smiled.
“I want to get a picture of just you and Jake.” Lexi’s mom said.
Traitor. Lexi glared at her mom trying to silently ask her what the hell she was doing but her mom didn’t care. She kept waving her hands together gesturing for Jake and Lexi to get closer. Jake took the lead and wrapped both his arms around her from behind and rested his head on hers. Her mom counted off and Lexi smiled for what she thought could be the last time because she was going to lose it any second.
Before letting go, Jake pulled her in for a huge hug and kissed the top of her head. When he pulled away he titled her chin up and said, “What happened the other night was a huge mistake. I want to let you know that no matter what, I will always love you and I will wait. I will wait for you to find yourself and I will wait for you to come back to me because you are mine, Lexi. You and me are meant to be together and if that means I need to wait one, two or even five years for you to come back to me, I will. You hear me? I’m waiting for you and only you.”
He pulled her closer and placed a soft kiss on her lips before letting go and grabbing Mason by the shirt. They both walked away holding each other by the shoulders. Lexi felt tears trickle down her face. How was she supposed to react to that?
A soft arm pulled her in for a hug. “Shh, it’s going to be ok, baby girl.” Her mom whispered in her ear. Lexi just shook her head. “It is.” Her mom pulled her head down and caressed the back of her hair with her hand. “Time will heal all wounds.”
“What was I thinking Mom?”
Lexi’s mom gripped the side of Lexi’s head with her hands and made Lexi look at her in the eyes. “Believe me baby girl, it is hard now but it will get better. You made the right choice. He’s a good man and if he means what he said to you, then he will wait. What you need to do right now is focus on yourself. Find who you want to be.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“Well, you have a world to discover so go out and discover it.” Lexi’s mom slipped a piece of paper into Lexi’s hand.
“What’s this, Mom?”
“Open it sweetheart”
Lexi looked down and saw a check for an inappropriate amount of money in her hand. Why was her mom giving her this?
“Mom, where did you get this money?”
“It’s from your father.”
Lexi shoved it back at her mom. “I don’t want his money.”
“He doesn’t know about it. He owes us both and I want you to take this and go explore the world. Come back when you are ready but you need to go explore.”
“But Mom you need the money more than I do…”
“Hush. I don’t want your father’s money and I don’t need it. Do this for us, go explore baby girl.”
Lexi didn’t know what to say. She looked up at her mom who was smiling and all Lexi could do was nod her head and then hug her.
Go explore? By herself? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity and she was going to take advantage of it. This was just what she needed. She was going to clear her mind and find her new path.
A man standing behind Lexi and her mom cleared his throat. “Pardon me, Lexi I wanted to talk to you for a second.”
Professor Lyon was standing next to her with a huge smile on his face. Lexi excused herself from her mom’s embrace and walked over to a secluded area with her old professor.
“Sorry to bother you but this will only take a minute. I kind of overheard your conversation with your mom? Are you going to go travel after this?”
“I guess so.” Lexi responded nearly blown away by her own response.
“Well good for you but I want to let you know, if you’re interested, I have a job for you. A real job that does not require you to pick up dog poop.”
“A job, really?”
“Yes, when you get back I’ll give you all the details but you have to make sure to be back by September.” Lexi gave him a quizzical look. He laughed. “I’ll give you all the details later but just so you know, it pays well and the employers are extremely excited about having you on board.”
“Why so secretive?” Lexi asked wondering why he wouldn’t just tell her about the job.
“Because I want you to go out and enjoy yourself. Experience the world for what it has to offer.” He handed her a business card. “Contact me when you get back. Have fun, Lexi.”
Lexi shook her head in astonishment and waved by to the man who might have just possibly saved her life. Lexi looked down at the check again that had her father’s name on it. She was going to take full advantage of this opportunity and then when she got back to San Diego, she was going to start her new life.
***
Margo was waiting in the coffee shop for Parker so they could have their last coffee together before he went off to Atlanta. Margo didn’t really want to meet Parker because that meant that Parker was in fact really leaving. They made no plans to see each other on a later date so it seemed like Margo had to say good bye forever. She was dreading the meeting and almost thought about not showing up, she thought it might have been easier to just not have that awkward last good bye but she couldn’t do that to him.
She looked down at her cell phone to check the time, he was fifteen minutes late. That was strange of him. She took a sip of her drink and thought about the trip Lexi was taking. Margo just dropped her off at the airport before she came to the coffee shop. Margo was so jealous. Lexi’s dead beat dad was at least good for something. Lexi planned a month in Europe followed by a month in Australia and then she was headed off to Hawaii and some other tropical islands. It seemed like a dream.
Lexi didn’t even act like she was scared. She was more eager than anything. More power to her Margo thought. There was no way Margo would be able to travel around the world by herself, she would be too scared. They made sure to pack her a taser and some pepper spray so she could be somewhat safe when she was alone. Lexi was saving money by staying with some host families so at least she wouldn’t be alone all the time.
“This seat taken?” Margo looked up and saw Jake standing in front of her. Lexi was an idiot for breaking up with him, he was a god wrapped in muscle.
“No, please sit down.” Margo responded.
“So, how is it going?” Margo knew he was just being pleasant. He most likely wanted to know how Lexi was doing. Poor guy. He used to have a spark in his eyes but now, he looked sullen all the time. Lexi was breaking his heart and all Margo wanted to do was fix it but she knew she couldn’t pressure Lexi, that would be the worst thing to do. What a stubborn best friend she had.
“It’s going alright. What about you? You don’t look so great.”
Jake leaned back in his chair and blew out a long breath. “No, not doing so well. My training is kicking my ass and a little blue eyed blonde is kicking my heart. God, I know you must be sick of hearing it but I miss her so damn much. I don’t understand, I thought after graduation she would have called or something. It’s been a week and a half and I haven’t heard anything.”
“You mean she didn’t contact you before she left?”
Jake sat up straight in his chair as concern crossed his eyes. “Left? Where the hell did she go?”
Oops, Margo thought, her and her big mouth.
“Uhh…”
“Margo, where did she go?” Jake said through gritted teeth.
Margo fiddled with her cup in front of her and Jake stopped her hands. Margo looked up at him and caved. “She went to Europe.”
“Europe?” Jake nearly screamed. “What the hell for? Please God don’t tell me she is moving there.”
“No, no, she is just visiting.”
“Jesus, I thought I almost just had a heart attack. For
how long?”
Margo shrugged her shoulders. “’I don’t really know?”
“What do you mean you don’t know? She must have a return flight.”
“Well she does have another flight but it’s not back here.”
Jake slammed his fist on the table they shared, startling the crap out of Margo. “For fucks sake Margo just tell me what the hell is going on.”
Margo didn’t really think Lexi would have wanted Jake to know where she was but then again Margo couldn’t sit across from Jake with such hurt in his face and not tell him.
“She got a bunch of money for graduation and decided to travel the world. I don’t know when she will be back. All I know is, she’s alone. She is traveling to multiple points in the world and has enough money to do so.”
Jake leaned back in his chair again. “She’s alone? What if something happens to her?” Jake rubbed his chest where his heart was and if Margo didn’t know he was one of the healthiest guys she ever met, she would have assumed he was about to have a heart attack. “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.”
“Get through what?” Parker stood next to their table looking down at the both of them with a huge grin on his face and a green tea in his hand.
“Did you know about Lexi leaving town and traveling?” Jake asked
Parker slightly cringed and then nodded. Jake swore under his breath. “Sorry man, I thought she would have told you.”
“Well she didn’t!” Jake jumped out of his chair. “Did she tell you when she would be back?”
Parker shook his head. “No, sorry man. She didn’t know when she would be back.”
“Jesus. Thanks. See you later.” Jake shook Parker’s hand. “Good luck in Atlanta, man.”
“Thanks.” Parker took Jake’s seat and they both watched Jake stalk out of the coffee house with one thing on his mind, Lexi.