"Ignore it," she told herself, but it was so difficult. She felt quite accomplished when she managed to move forward and break the connection.
As she found herself coming closer to the box that Hawk had brought in, and when she saw a giant pink tag on it with the name Mary Pascal, she gulped. Mary was a sweet child who had just moved to the area with her parents. They were living with the child's grandparents, and the family had hardly a dime to their name. Had he brought the little girl gifts?
"Oh, please, no," she murmured.
She was already falling for this man, though she'd continue to fight it for as long as she had the strength to do so. It was just that even though he tried so hard to act tough, he was actually very kind and amazing with the children. She understood why everyone valued his volunteer work at the pageant so highly. Not once had she seen him lose his temper or even get the slightest bit irritated as child after child clung to him or jumped on his back.
He seemed to have never-ending patience, and if he wasn't the fire chief, she could easily see him as a schoolteacher. In fact, she could really see him as the gym teacher, preferably in a tight shirt and a nice pair of shorts. Nope. She was going to push that image right out of her mind this second.
Natalie got busy, and she was very happy that she was able, for once, to avoid Hawk for the whole evening. He didn't make it easy, but she was discovering that if she kept a tracking beacon on the man, she could anticipate his moves and counter them.
But if his hand brushed hers one more time, she couldn't be held responsible for anything she might do. And if she did what she wanted to do, the local sheriff was going to be hauling her in for public indecency.
"Evening, Natalie."
Startled, Natalie jumped, then relaxed when she saw Bethel walking up to her.
"Evening, Bethel. The mountain scene is looking wonderful."
"You are too kind, darling. We should be all set up and ready to go within a few days."
"Yes. It's moving fast. Could I ask you something?"
"Anything, darling," Bethel replied.
"There's a box over there with Mary's name on it, and . . ."
"Oh, that's a secret Santa gift," Bethel said, beaming.
"Secret Santa?"
"Yes. Each year the community members pick families that may need a little something extra. Whoever participates is very secretive and the boxes are always left where the children are sure not to miss them. Mary was one of the children chosen this year."
"That's amazing," Natalie said, thinking back to her childhood. How much would it have meant to her to receive a gift from Santa?
"Her parents should be here soon, and then you'll see Mary's face light up. That's always the best part. The other children love to be a part of it, too. The nice thing with living here is that we do truly love the people in our community."
The two of them spoke for a few more moments, but fell silent when Mary's parents walked into the gym. One of the kids quickly took them over to the box that the little girl had been waiting to open. There was so much pride in the set of both parents' shoulders, and so much obvious love for their daughter shining in their eyes.
"Can I open it?" Mary asked eagerly.
"It appears to be for you," her mother whispered softly.
Hawk was moving across the stage, cleaning up the endless line of crumbs from snacks the kids had just finished, but watching out of the corner of his eye. Natalie's eyes darted between him and Mary as the child opened the box.
When Mary pulled out a warm winter coat, a brand-new pair of boots, and several outfits, her eyes welled up with tears. "Is this all for me?" she asked as her small fingers caressed the soft down jacket and took in the pretty black boots with small purple flowers at the top. She also brought out some presents wrapped in bright paper with labels saying Don't Open Till Christmas Morning.
"I think it is," her mother said, and a tear slipped from her eye.
An envelope was tucked discreetly inside the box, and Natalie had no doubt it contained some money so the parents could get something for themselves. Hawk's generosity was choking her up. Damn his hide.
"Who's this from?" asked Mary's mother, Stacy.
"It's from Santa," Bethel replied, but her eyes strayed to the stage where Hawk was still sweeping away.
Without a word, Stacy began to move, slowly approaching Hawk. Placing her hand on his arm, she said something that stopped him from what he was doing. Although Natalie was too far away to hear the words whispered between the two of them, there was no mistaking the shine in his eyes as Mary's mother wrapped her arms around him and gave him a grateful hug. When she let go, he bowed his head, nodded, and vanished through the back door. Mary's mother returned from the stage and spoke quietly.
"He won't admit it was him, but he said that Mary is a sweet child who has the voice of an angel."
Natalie didn't even realize tears were falling down her own cheeks as Stacy spoke.
"He's a pretty spectacular man," Maggie murmured as she stepped up and hugged Mary's family.
"Yes he is," Stacy said quietly.
Soon the group walked from the gym together, leaving Natalie there all alone with her thoughts. Natalie realized that she'd learned more about this man in a few days' time than most people learned about anyone in a lifetime. He was good and kind, with a heart the size of Texas. She'd have said the size of Montana, but that was too small.
If she wasn't careful, this man would change her entire future, whether he was willing to or not. She needed to avoid him. She had a feeling that she was going to become too attached, that he was going to want to have a casual affair, and that she was going to give him her heart. That just couldn't happen. So what came next?
She honestly didn't know.
chapter 10
Why aren't you ready?"
Natalie stood in her doorway looking at Maggie, Bethel, and Eileen, all wearing thick coats, thicker hats, scarves, and high boots.
"Ready for what?"
"The big party!" Bethel said, looking at her as if she'd lost her mind.
"Party?" Natalie vaguely remembered some of the other teachers speaking about it the day before at school, but it was Saturday, and after a long week, she was looking forward to curling up in bed and sinking into a good book.
Okay, if she was to admit her true feelings, she wasn't exactly pumped about her big plans, but she was trying to avoid Hawk, and she knew if she went to the only cafe in town, she would most certainly run into him.
"Yes. Tonight we light the Christmas tree and then go to the fire hall for a party," Eileen said with anticipation.
"Brrr. Invite us in and we'll wait while you get dressed," Maggie said, leaving Natalie no choice but to open her door wide for the three bundled-up women to enter her toasty little house.
"Don't take too long. I don't want to strip down just to put all these clothes back on," Bethel said as she looked around. "You really need some decorations in here . . ."
"Oh, you leave her be, Bethel," Maggie scolded her friend. "She's only been here for about two weeks. Some people need more time than that to make their mark on a place."
"Ha! When I moved into my home, it was all good to go in three days," Bethel said.
Not used to such friendly people--heck, not used to visitors, period--Natalie couldn't move. She just watched the three women make themselves comfortable looking around, or, more accurately, snooping into just about everything.
"Go on, girl. I'm getting warmer by the minute," Eileen said when she turned to find Natalie still standing just on the inside of her front door.
Defeated, Natalie slunk to her bedroom and began pulling out clothes. It looked as if she was heading to a party. Her stomach churned because she knew there was no way that she wouldn't run smack-dab into Hawk.
And the part that frightened her the most? That she wasn't as upset about this as she should be. The man had run into her life with a steamroller--or at least with his gargantuan truck--and tho
ugh she told herself she wanted to avoid him, in reality her heart rate spiked at even the sight of him. It was pathetic. It was wrong. It wasn't the right time.
But it was much easier to know what she should do than to actually do it.
After changing clothes, she went to her bathroom and looked into the mirror. Between the way her blood was racing through her veins and the prospect of the cold she'd be enduring the next hour or so, she certainly didn't need any blush. With a quick layer of mascara and some lip gloss, she figured she was as ready as the three women out there would allow her to get.
When she stepped back into the living room, she couldn't help but smile. Maggie was absolutely grinning over a knitting project on the coffee table. And when Hawk's mother looked up, her expression almost proud, Natalie felt a warmth in her chest she hadn't felt since . . . She actually couldn't remember.
"This is beautiful, Natalie. You have a real talent," Maggie said before putting the knitting down and walking over to her. "I don't know what it is about you, but I just want to bring you home and take care of you."
The sincerity in her voice, the glimmer in her eyes--it was all too much. Natalie had to turn away before her own eyes followed suit.
"If you ever need someone to talk to," Maggie said, "you know where I live. I feel as if there's a lot inside of you that wants to be free."
Sometimes the pain of always being alone was overwhelming, and now she had this woman before her who was asking for nothing but offering her the most precious gift of all--love.
Before Natalie could respond, Maggie wrapped her arms around her and gave her a hug. Natalie was grateful when Bethel and Eileen joined them, breaking up the moment. She had to get out of there. If she gave in to her emotions, she wouldn't be able to stop crying--not for a long, long time. Too much had been buried deep inside for too long, and she knew that it would be disastrous to let it out.
"Oh, almost forgot," Eileen said. "Here's your candle." She handed Natalie a long candle with a shield surrounding the bottom. "We'll wait to light it until we reach the next block over."
Natalie had no idea what Eileen was talking about until they turned the corner and saw a line of her neighbors walking down the street, all of them holding candles as they sang Christmas carols. Bethel pulled out a lighter and lit all their candles, and they merged with the crowd as more people appeared from their houses and joined them.
A light snow began falling as they marched toward the town center, sweet voices all around them singing "Silent Night." So much nostalgia filled the air. It was more touching than anything Natalie had ever experienced before.
As she walked with her candle in her shaking hand, she was barely able to sing. She was surprised that the small flakes of snow didn't extinguish the light, but it seemed that nothing, not even a winter storm, could stop the magic of this evening.
They reached the little park in the center of town, where a huge tree stood proudly with a stage to the left of it. The newcomers saw a small crowd of town residents already waiting for more people to arrive, and for the next twenty minutes, the festive caroling continued as more and more people joined in the celebration.
When the songs stopped, the mayor stepped up to a microphone and gave a short speech about the magic of the season and the blessings of living in a small community. Then another man stepped forward and the crowd clapped noisily.
"This year we've been blessed more than ever before. Our town continues to stay strong while other places struggle. And why? Because we genuinely care about each other, and because we know how to treat our neighbors. I expect each and every one of you to come and give me a kiss beneath the mistletoe." He finished his remarks with a saucy wink at the crowd. Natalie found herself laughing along with everyone else.
"I'm sure Eileen will be the first person in that line," Bethel said, making Eileen blush.
Eileen bristled. "That's just not polite, Bethel."
But Natalie noticed that Eileen was still gazing at the man who'd just left the lectern and microphone.
"Who is he?" Natalie asked.
"That's Martin Whitman," Maggie said. "He employs most of the people in this town at his oil plant. Has four very sexy sons, and they're each just waiting for a woman to tame them."
"Oh." Natalie didn't know what else to say to that.
"You'll pretty much meet the entire town tonight," Bethel told her, and for some reason Natalie found her own cheeks taking on major color. Just because she was meeting people, it didn't mean that these nice women were trying to match her up with anyone. It wouldn't do them any good anyway, as it seemed she couldn't think of anyone other than the town's sexy fire chief.
The talking stopped when Martin stepped over to a large box and pushed a button. The tree lit up instantly, and the crowd gave out a collective sigh.
"Come on, darling. Time to find that mistletoe," Maggie said, and she took Natalie's arm in hers as everyone began moving toward the fire station.
Natalie's stomach dropped. Yes, because she could so easily picture kissing a certain person beneath the bunch of leaves and berries. And she'd be mortified if his mother knew the less than strictly religious thoughts that were running through her head. When they walked through the doors, there was barely room to move, let alone seek anyone out.
Yet somehow Natalie found herself beneath the mistletoe. And even more amazingly, she was standing right in front of the man she couldn't stop thinking about.
"I've never been able to resist a beautiful woman beneath the mistletoe."
That was all the warning she received before Hawk bent down and captured her lips. As festive partyers merged around them, Natalie saw no one, heard no one, and thought of nothing but Hawk and the way she felt with his lips caressing hers.
Why again did she try so desperately to avoid this man? Because when she was actually in his arms, all her insecurities faded and all she could think about was that this was perfect, it was right.
When he finally released her lips, he looked down into her eyes, and she knew she was his for the taking. It was too late for her to turn around this thing between them, because she wanted to get lost in his arms, and whether he wanted her for a day, or a maximum of three as the ladies at school were so fond of saying, then that's what she'd give him.
Walking away at this point just wasn't an option. "Wow," she finally whispered and his lips turned up in a sexy grin.
"I was about to say the same thing. Want to go find all the places mistletoe is hung?"
"I was thinking that you could at least offer me a glass of eggnog first," she replied, trying to rein in her passion. After all, they were surrounded by most of the town of Sterling.
"I think I can arrange that," he said, freeing her from his arms but quickly capturing her hand and maybe capturing a little bit of her soul . . .
chapter 11
Way too much eggnog!
The party was over and her head was beyond fuzzy, but Natalie walked about the nearly empty firehouse with the other volunteers who'd offered to stay for cleanup. She wasn't capable of doing much to help them, but she could at least say she was trying to help.
After a couple of dances with Hawk, the two of them had been separated, so here she was, trying to decide whether to go home alone or to wait him out. She knew she would rather wait, but on the other hand, she didn't want to seem desperate. The alcohol was messing with her rational mind.
Music was playing softly over the speakers, smooth country tunes, mellow, relaxing. She felt her eyes grow heavy, and she spread herself out on the front of the nearest fire engine. The step was wide enough for her to get just a little rest.
No one would notice if she lay down for just a moment . . .
Before she knew it, she was asleep.
"See ya later, chief!"
Hawk watched as the last people trickled from the fire station. They'd done such a great job of cleaning, it didn't even look like there'd been a party. Good. He liked it when things were all in order. H
e valued a job well done. Only one problem remained.
He'd been separated from Natalie too soon. He hadn't been ready for their night to end, and he still wasn't. And now as he turned out the lights and did his final walk-through of the station, he felt an odd emptiness settle inside him.
It was ludicrous. Hawk didn't need to be around a woman to find fulfillment. He didn't have to have companionship. But in the space of a couple of weeks, he'd found himself counting down the hours until he got to see Natalie again. The highlight of his day was when he walked into that gym and found her there, speaking with the children, smiling, gifting them with her laughter.
This was so far beyond anything he'd ever experienced before that he couldn't even identify what exactly he was feeling. One thing he knew for sure, though--he wasn't going to wait until Monday to see her again.
He couldn't. He had to see her. Tonight.
Walking around the front of his line of fire engines, Hawk stopped in his tracks.
"What happened?" Natalie's voice came out huskily as she began sitting up on the front bumper of the fire engine before him.
So Hawk didn't have to go anywhere to find Natalie. She was within grasping distance. At the sight of her sleepy eyes and tousled hair, he could think only of taking her, right now.
"Everyone's gone," he said, his voice a low growl.
Her eyes widened, and then, even under the dim lights, he could see the change in her expression. She knew what came next. They both did.
He stopped trying to fight himself. This was inevitable from the moment he'd caught her in his arms that first day on the cold front porch of his rental property. He stepped forward, grasped her hands, and pulled her to her feet before kissing her, knowing this time he wasn't going to be interrupted.
Urgently, almost frantic, Hawk reached for the hem of her sweater and yanked it over her head. He had to see her body, had to feel her naked skin against his as soon as his own clothes came off.
Her moans of pent-up desire encouraged him, and he grabbed her wool slacks and slid the zipper down. Within minutes she was standing before him in nothing but a lacy bra and matching fire-engine-red panties. Whoever had invented women's underclothing should be thanked profusely, he told himself.