“You know nothing of the warrior code,” Talltail snarled.
“I know courage. Your father showed it when he helped me escape.”
Talltail’s breath caught in his throat. Sandgorse was brave. He would have given his life for another cat.
“This isn’t courage, Talltail,” Sparrow pressed. “Killing me won’t bring Sandgorse back.”
Jake’s words flashed in Talltail’s mind. I know you, Talltail. You’re not a killer. Sandgorse’s voice joined Jake’s. Another cat’s life is as precious as your own. Talltail’s thoughts whirled. What if he’s telling the truth? Alarm ripped though his chest. I can’t kill him, Sandgorse. I’m sorry!
As he backed away from Sparrow, the ground trembled. Talltail glanced along the Thunderpath. The monster was coming, shaking the earth. “Let’s get away from here.”
Sparrow’s eyes widened. “Help!” He jerked clumsily backward as the cliff started to give way beneath his paws. “I’m falling!”
Talltail flung out a paw, reaching for the rogue’s pelt. He felt fur brush his claw-tips as they curled around thin air.
Then Sparrow disappeared.
CHAPTER 38
Talltail flung himself onto the grass and wriggled forward to peer over the edge. Sparrow was slithering down the cliff face, showering grit as he fought to get a grip. “Talltail!” he wailed, a moment before he landed with a thump on the Thunderpath.
There was a heartbeat of ominous silence; then the gorge echoed with the roar of a monster as it howled closer. Sparrow scrambled to his paws and darted back and forth, pressing close to the cliff. Talltail stared down at him in horror. The smooth, black stone reached right to the edge of the Thunderpath. There was nowhere for Sparrow to hide.
The eyes of the monster lit up the curve.
“Help me!” Sparrow reached up with his front paws, trying to get a clawhold. “Help me up!” His mew was sharp with terror. He jumped, clinging to the sandy stone, but it crumbled in his claws and he tumbled back onto the hard, gray Thunderpath. “Talltail! Help!”
I have to save him! Talltail stared around desperately. How? A thought struck him. There must be ditches somewhere along the Thunderpath, like the ones near WindClan land. Without them, the gorge would become a river when it rained. If there was a ditch close by, they could hide inside while the monster went past. If they reached the ditch ahead of the monster. And if the ditch was big enough for two cats. If, if, if . . .
Talltail scrambled over the edge. He half skidded, half fell down the steep, sandy cliff, landing heavily beside Sparrow.
Sparrow blinked. “What are you doing?”
“Follow me!” Talltail hared along the Thunderpath. He glanced behind him. Sparrow was on his heels, his eyes huge with fear. Behind him, the vast head of a gleaming black monster loomed around the curve. “Run!” Paws burning, Talltail raced over the hard black stone. The gorge thrummed with the monster’s roar. Talltail flattened his ears, pushing harder, stretching further with every paw step.
He scanned the edges of the Thunderpath, straining to see a hiding place carved somewhere in the rock. Ahead, a shadow darkened the stone where the Thunderpath touched the rugged rock of the gorge. Talltail’s heart leaped. As he raced nearer, he could a see channel dug into the ground, just wide enough for a cat. Talltail sprang into it and looked back at Sparrow.
The terrified rogue was several tail-lengths behind. The monster thundered after him, so huge it blocked the sky.
“Hurry!” Talltail shrieked.
As Sparrow neared, Talltail reached up and grabbed the rogue’s pelt. Sinking his claws into the dense fur, Talltail hauled him into the narrow ditch. Stones battered his flanks and the earth shook beneath him. Foul wind tugged his fur. He shuddered with terror, his flesh shrinking beneath his pelt as the monster hurtled past.
“Sparrow?” Talltail scrambled backward and looked at the cat squashed beneath him.
Sparrow lifted his head. “We’re alive!”
Talltail tried to stop himself from trembling. Dawn was lighting the sky. More monsters would be coming soon. “We have to get out of here.” Could they make it to the end of the gorge without meeting another?
Sparrow seemed to guess what he was thinking. The rogue’s gaze flicked past Talltail. “What about that way?” he suggested.
Talltail wriggled around in the narrow space. Sparrow had spotted a small tunnel that opened into the ditch. That must have been where the rainwater flowed out. Talltail padded toward it and sniffed the darkness. Fresh air washed over his muzzle. “Good idea.” He beckoned Sparrow with a nod and started to duck inside.
He paused when there was no sound of paw steps following. Looking back, he saw Sparrow staring wide-eyed at the mouth of the tunnel, fur bristling and claws unsheathed. Talltail looked at the tunnel, then at Sparrow again. A pang of sharp emotion—pity, sorrow, even guilt—stabbed his belly. The last time Sparrow had entered a tunnel, he had barely escaped—and the other cat had died.
“Come on,” Talltail mewed. “It’s perfectly safe, I promise.”
Sparrow took a step forward. His fur still stood on end.
“Stay close to me,” Talltail told him. “You’ll be fine.” He ducked his head and walked into the tunnel. The sides were round and smooth, made of hard, gray stone rather than hewn from wet earth. Talltail’s claws skittered on the surface. Sheathing them, he padded cautiously on. He could hear Sparrow’s pelt brushing the walls behind him. Darkness swallowed them and Talltail quickened his pace. He told himself that this tunnel would not collapse, that they would be out soon because he could feel air being funneled toward them, rich with the scent of grass. For a moment, he imagined how terrifying it must have been for Sparrow when the gorge tunnel collapsed around him. Talltail knew what it was like to feel mud and earth raining down on him, but when he had been in a tunnel accident, every other cat had made it out alive.
“You’re doing great,” he called over his shoulder.
“Thank you.” Sparrow’s mew echoed close behind, his breath warm on Talltail’s hindquarters.
Talltail felt numb. Because of him, Sparrow had nearly died falling off the cliff. And now, because of him, Sparrow was alive. This wasn’t what he had planned. He felt like he was walking in another cat’s body.
Sparrow’s muzzle touched his tail-tip. “I’m sorry your father died.” The rogue’s words were hardly more than a breath, but they rang around Talltail like spiraling wind. “It was an accident. Sandgorse saved my life. And I’ll never forget him.”
Of course Sandgorse saved him. Talltail’s throat tightened.
“When we don’t know the truth, we invent stories to fill the gaps,” Sparrow went on quietly. “Sometimes it’s the only way we have to make sense of our lives.”
“Why didn’t you tell me what really happened?” Talltail asked. “At the time?”
“I didn’t think you’d believe me,” Sparrow confessed. “You were so angry—so determined that someone must be to blame.”
Talltail didn’t argue. It was true.
The end of the tunnel glowed ahead, small at first but growing with each paw step until they emerged into dazzling, cold daylight. Talltail blinked as his eyes adjusted after the gloom. They were close to the Thunderpath, but the gorge was gone and meadows stretched away on either side. Sparrow stood still, taking deep breaths of the sparkling air.
“Where are we?” Talltail mewed.
Sparrow flicked his tail. In the distance, woodland nestled between two gently rolling hills. “The camp’s up there.” He jumped a swathe of long grass and pushed through a hedge. Talltail bounded after him.
They walked in silence across frosty fields until they reached the trees. Sparrow seemed to know his way and Talltail was happy to let him lead, scrambling over logs and sliding into dips as he tried to keep up. He scented the camp as they neared a patch of silvery bracken. Orange fur flashed in front of it.
Talltail broke into a run. “Jake? Is that you?”
> Jake was pacing back and forth, his eyes like huge moons. He stopped when Talltail reached him. “What happened?” he demanded.
Talltail glanced at Sparrow as the rogue caught up with him. Jake blinked in surprise.
“You didn’t do it!” Jake breathed after Sparrow had padded past and pushed through the bracken.
Talltail sat down wearily. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Sandgorse saved him.”
Jake’s eyes clouded with confusion. “He saved him?”
“It’s what Sandgorse would do.” Now that the rage had gone, Talltail wondered how he could ever have thought of killing Sparrow. Had grief taken away all his faith in the warrior code?
“I knew it!” Jake paced around him. “I knew you couldn’t do it!”
Talltail’s pelt pricked. What if Sparrow hadn’t had time to explain? What if I’d pushed him over as a monster came into the gorge? What if he’d—? He shifted his paws. With cold, crushing certainty, he knew that killing Sparrow wouldn’t have changed anything. “I let anger change who I am.” He gazed helplessly at Jake.
“No, you didn’t!” Jake argued. “In the end, you let Sparrow live. That was being true to yourself, far more than you were when you wanted to kill him.” His gaze softened. “I know you, Talltail. Your thirst for Sparrow’s blood, your belief that only his death would change the way you felt—that was never really you.”
Talltail blinked up at his friend. “You’re right. But that’s all I’ve thought about for so long. What do I do now?” He felt shaky, as if the path ahead had vanished into mist.
Jake glanced toward the camp. “Does Sparrow know you planned to kill him?”
Talltail’s whiskers twitched. “Oh yes,” he meowed grimly. “He knows.”
“Then we’d better leave,” Jake murmured. “We can’t expect him to share food and shelter with us now, even if you did change your mind.”
Talltail nodded, feeling numb. “I have to say good-bye first,” he meowed.
“Really?” Jake’s fur rippled along his spine. “After what you did?”
“Yes.” Talltail knew he couldn’t vanish without telling the other rogues he was leaving. That wouldn’t be fair, to let them think they had done something to offend him or Jake. “You wait here.” He wove through the crisp bracken into the center of the camp. Sparrow sat on the far side, washing his paws.
“Talltail!” Bess trotted over to him. “Sparrow told us you were both nearly killed by a monster!”
Reena bounded across the clearing. “Are you hurt?”
Algernon sat up, his ears pricked. “Sparrow said it was pretty close.”
Mole sniffed Talltail’s pelt. “You’ve still got the monster’s stench on you.”
“I’m fine.” Talltail looked at Sparrow.
Sparrow stared back, his impassive gaze as unreadable as ever.
Talltail dipped his head. “Jake and I must leave now.”
“Now?” Bess sounded surprised.
“You can’t go yet!” Hurt flashed in Reena’s eyes.
Sparrow stopped licking for a moment. “They must, actually,” he meowed.
Algernon looked over his shoulder at the brown tom.
Talltail shifted his paws. “Jake needs to go home,” he explained.
“What about you?” Reena’s muzzle was a whisker away from his. “Are you going back to WindClan?”
“I’ll see Jake home,” Talltail meowed. After that, who knows?
“I can show you the way,” Reena offered. “I know the Twolegplace.” She began to circle him. “If we start now we can be there by—”
Talltail cut her off. “We can find our own way,” he told her. Reena flinched as though he’d raked her nose with claws.
Bess pressed against her. “You heard him, Reena.” There was sympathy in the she-cat’s mew, and Talltail suddenly wondered if Reena had been hoping that Talltail would be her mate: that they’d have kits and travel together. Had she started to imagine a whole new life ahead of them?
Guilt rippled through his pelt. “I’m sorry, Reena.” Part of him wished that he could make her happy. Their kits would be brave and strong. Talltail shook the thought away. Reena’s path wasn’t his. He was destined to travel alone. “I’ll miss you,” he meowed a little awkwardly.
She touched her muzzle to his cheek. “And I’ll miss you.”
Sparrow got to his paws. “We won’t be visiting WindClan next greenleaf.”
“Really?” Because of me? Guilt jabbed Talltail’s belly.
“Times have changed,” Sparrow meowed. “We need new paths to roam. Old tracks grow stale.”
Algernon’s eyes were wide with shock. “You’ve decided this just now, have you?”
Sparrow shook his head. “Not right now, no. But I think it’s the right decision. We have our lives; WindClan has theirs. Rogues like us don’t belong in Clans. The warrior code wasn’t made for us. Right, Talltail?”
Stunned, Talltail nodded.
Sparrow went back to washing his paws. “Give our regards to Heatherstar and Hawkheart,” he mewed. “Tell them we wish them well.”
“I’m sure they would do the same for you,” Talltail croaked. He dipped his head to Mole. “Take care.” He wondered if the elderly tom would make it through many more leaf-bares.
“Travel well, Talltail,” Mole rasped.
“I will.” Turning, Talltail padded from the camp.
“Good-bye! Good-bye!” Bess and Reena called behind him.
“Watch out for dogs!” warned Algernon.
“I will,” Talltail muttered.
What will the Clan think when the rogues don’t appear next greenleaf? Will they think something terrible has happened? Or will they remember Sandgorse’s death, and think that the rogues are too ashamed to return? Talltail shook himself. He had left WindClan. What they felt about something far in the future was not his concern.
Jake hurried to meet him as he emerged from the bracken. “Is everything okay?”
Talltail nodded, heading between the trees.
Jake fell in beside him. “Did Sandgorse really save Sparrow?”
Fresh grief welled in Talltail’s throat. “Yes,” he meowed thickly.
Jake pressed against him. “Then your father died a hero,” he murmured.
Talltail couldn’t answer, his eyes clouding.
They padded through the woods, heading upslope until they reached the clearing where they’d first made camp. The hollow between the oak roots was still lined with wool and Talltail climbed in gratefully, too weary to hunt.
“I’ll catch something,” Jake offered. He headed away, returning as the sun touched the tops of the trees. He was carrying a tattered, old blackbird.
Talltail wrinkled his nose. “Couldn’t you find one that was even older?” he teased, climbing out to sniff the ancient bird.
Jake lifted his muzzle. “I caught it, didn’t I?” He took a bite, screwing up his face as he chewed the tough flesh.
Talltail bit into the bird. The blackbird was more sinew than meat, but he swallowed it anyway, grateful for Jake’s new hunting skills.
“Will you go home now?” Jake’s mew was muffled by feathers.
“I don’t know if I have a home.” Talltail took another bite.
“Of course you do!” Jake struggled to swallow. “You have WindClan!”
“I left WindClan.”
“They’d let you back.”
“I thought I’d keep traveling for a while,” Talltail muttered. “Would you like that?”
Jake took another bite of blackbird and chewed. “I think you should go home.”
“Home?” Talltail blinked at him. “I have no home. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
Jake leaned forward and rested his muzzle on the top of Talltail’s head. His chin felt warm and soft. “I know who you are. You’re my best friend, and you always will be.”
CHAPTER 39
Talltail was dreaming. Stars whirled around
him, twirling him through blackness. Then he plummeted down until the wind pulled at his fur and his eyes watered. Exhilaration surged through him as he fell, until soft peat touched his pads and Talltail realized he was standing on the ground. He blinked, and the darkness cleared. Light spilled around him, flooding the landscape. Above, a wide, blue sky stretched to the horizon. Heather as purple as dusk rippled over the soft curve of a hill. Grass, greener than Jake’s eyes, lay in swathes between the bushes, its scent so rich it made Talltail dizzy. A tawny pelt was slinking through the heather.
Brackenwing!
Talltail’s heart leaped. He bounded toward the she-cat, but she was moving too swiftly. Other pelts showed around her—black, gray, tortoiseshell—pelts he didn’t recognize. But he knew their scent as well as his own. WindClan. He was in StarClan’s hunting grounds.
“Brackenwing!” he called across the heather, but Brackenwing didn’t stop. Talltail hurried after her, trying to catch the eye of the other cats as he passed. But no cat seemed to notice him. A tabby looked straight through him as though he didn’t exist. A striped tom didn’t flinch as Talltail raced by.
I must catch Brackenwing! She’ll know me.
He burst from the heather onto a grassy summit. Brackenwing was looking down into a valley.
Talltail raced to her side. “It’s me, Talltail!” he cried.
Brackenwing didn’t move. She just kept staring down the slope. Talltail followed her gaze. Cats were moving over the grass below. Palebird. Dawnstripe. Hareflight. Hickorynose. Talltail’s heart lurched as he recognized their pelts. Brackenwing was watching what was happening in WindClan territory. Talltail’s paws ached with pain that felt like longing. Slowly at first, then faster, his feet carried him forward until Talltail found himself racing down the slope toward his Clanmates.
“Palebird!” He yowled his mother’s name, the sight of her tugging deep in his belly as though she’d hooked her claws in and was pulling him closer. Talltail’s mother didn’t look around.
“Dawnstripe!” Surely she would speak to him? But his mentor kept padding across the grass, her tail down.