“Of course I do. He’s my little brother, and I love him. It pisses me off that some boys are teasing him.”
Now guilt chewed at me. She thought I was sulking over walking my little brother to school. It had nothing to do with TJ. But how could I explain to my mother that I was just…the thought withered away and died before I finished forming it. Again, guilt. I didn't blame my family for any of my choices. They'd never pressured me into anything. I was good at doing that to myself.
Mom looked like she wanted to say more, but there was a reluctance to her features.
“Spill it, Mom.”
She laughed softly. The sound managed to bring a smile to my lips, reminding me of the times when we'd still talked to each other. I missed hearing her voice. Once she and Tyson had started dating, she'd found a world where she felt more comfortable. I didn't blame her for that.
I knew what it felt like to not fit in, so I couldn't begrudge her that.
Guilt seemed to chase after me these days.
Averting my gaze, I focused on a framed print of the river at night. Mom moved to sit by me, brushing my hair back.
“I love you,” she said, her voice soft. It was as if she’d known I needed to hear her voice. That voice, still so beautiful after all these years.
“I love you too.” I didn’t sign it this time. She could read lips, and she’d know what I said anyway. Leaning in, I hugged her.
She left a moment later and this time, I locked the door. I told myself I was going to shower and maybe read. Something. Anything to get out of my head. As I reached down to pull off my tunic, I felt something in my pocket. I frowned as I tugged out the tips I’d gotten that day.
The money from Daisy, the whopping one-dollar bill from the snooty princess and then there was whatever Jal had given me. I hadn't bothered to count any of it. I started to unfold that bill, expecting to find a five or ten, maybe twenty. He’d gotten a simple haircut, and I rarely got anything staggering for something so simple.
The hundred-dollar bill fell from my numb fingers, and I could only gape at it.
One hundred dollars. For tip on a haircut. “Son of a bitch.”
What the hell had he been thinking?
Four hours later, I was laying on my back, staring up at the ceiling while my best friend fastened a pair of leopard-print handcuffs to his headboard.
There was nothing that cleared my head and settled me quicker than hard, fast sex. Since I wasn’t involved with anybody, my options for sex were narrowed down to a one-night stand or Tao Maki, who'd graduated from the friendzone to friend-with-benefits when we were eighteen. It worked well for both of us. We were great as friends, but wanted different things from romantic relationships, so we knew we'd never fall in love. We cared about each other but didn't have the petty jealousies that would keep us from remaining friends when either one of us found true love.
Or, more accurately, when Tao found true love.
I didn't believe in it.
When I’d called Tao and told him I needed to clear my head, he’d only asked, “What do you have in mind.”
I’d smiled into the phone. “Anything you want.”
He laughed. “Anything? So the sky’s the limit?”
I’d had to give him some boundary lines there.
Tao was a kinky bastard, and while normally that played in my favor, there were some things I wasn’t into. The handcuffs he was currently using to keep my arms stretched above my head were something I did enjoy.
“You know, if you really want to get down and dirty, I can call a friend,” he said as his hand cupped one of my breasts, teased my nipple into a hard point with his talented fingers.
I glared at him.
Or, rather, I attempted to look like I was annoyed when, in reality, I was struggling not to moan as he lowered his head to take my nipple into his mouth.
While sex with Tao was hot and fun, I had no interest in making it a threesome. It was funny that the person who believed in true love wasn't so sure about monogamy, while I wasn't into anything that wasn't one-on-one, but I didn't factor love into the equation.
“In your dreams, you pervert,” I managed to gasp out.
Tao raised his head. “In his dreams too, baby doll. See, this friend. We used to hook up…and he is hung, let me tell you.”
Tao was bi, or more accurately, over the past couple years, he identified himself as pansexual and polyamorous. Basically, monogamy and sticking with one gender wasn't his thing. I was fine with it, always had been, but that didn't mean I was going to join him in it. He knew it, but he still liked teasing me.
And I couldn't deny that hearing about it sometimes made me hot.
“You wish.”
He sighed lustily as his fingers slid up my legs to my hips. “Guilty as charged. He’s seen us around, and he just wants to play.” His sapphire eyes ran down my body and back up again. “I mean, can you blame him?”
I gave him my own once-over. Tao had the jet-black hair and golden skin he'd inherited from his half-Chinese mother, combined with a tall, lean body, and those brilliant eyes courtesy of his Scandinavian grandmother, and whatever ethnicity his father had been. He was gorgeous, and had the confidence to pull it off.
Sometimes I wished the two of us could fall in love. It would've made things so much easier.
“Then you two have fun, baby doll,” I said. “Later. Right now, I just want to get off.”
Tao chuckled as he swung one leg over my waist, putting his impressive cock right into my line of sight. I licked my lips, the action practically involuntary. I liked giving head, liked the feel of him sliding across my tongue. Most of all, I loved the sight and sound of him losing control and knowing it was because of me.
He moved down my body, letting his cock brush across my skin as he settled himself between my legs. I made an impatient sound and he laughed again. Tao could make things last, take things slow, but we rarely did that. We weren't about making love.
We fucked.
That didn't, however, mean that he skipped the foreplay.
I closed my eyes as the tip of one long finger brushed over my clit, then further down between my folds. I spread my legs wider, and he took the hint. I shivered as he slid his finger inside me. After two strokes, he added a second one, twisting and curling them as he moved them in and out. His thumb moved over my clit in the way he knew I liked, and I raised my hips, wanting more.
My eyes flew open when I felt another finger moving between my cheeks. His eyes locked with mine as the tip of his index finger rubbed over my anus. We didn't do anal sex, but Tao did sometimes use his fingers on me. I wasn't at the point where I asked him to do it, but I couldn't deny that it did sometimes make things more intense.
And considering that what I wanted more than anything at the moment was to not think, intense was what I needed. I nodded, then gasped as his finger breached the tight ring of muscle. He kept it in only up to the first knuckle, twisting it as his other hand drove me into my first climax of the night.
“Yes,” I hissed as I came. I let the pleasure wash over me as Tao put on a condom.
“Turn over.”
I rolled, letting the handcuffs twist so that my wrists were crossed, limiting my movement even more. Tao's hands moved under my hips, pulling my ass up, and then he was pushing into me. I moaned, moving back against him so that he filled me with one thrust. He wrapped one hand in my hair, giving it a little tug as he steadied himself.
I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the sensations running through my body. The little darts of pain at my scalp. The full, then empty feelings that alternated with every thrust of his cock. The way the thick shaft stretched me, rubbed against me. My clit throbbed, desperate for attention, but all I could do was curl my hands into fists and let him ride me, trusting him to get me where I needed to go.
The build-up was fast and hot, a tight coiling in my stomach that released the moment he pushed his thumb into my ass.
Relief flood
ed me along with the pleasure, melting away the tension and everything else along with it.
Exactly what I'd needed.
Twenty minutes later, I was cleaned up, my hands free, and Tao was wrapped around me from behind. I snuggled in closer, sighing with satisfaction.
I loved my home, but there were times that Tao's little apartment was a wonderful escape. Sometimes I felt like we shared those two parts of our lives. He sometimes shared his place with me when I needed some time away...and some stress relief. And I shared my family with him.
He'd come out as bisexual when he was fifteen and wanted to go on a date with a boy in our class. His devout Jehovah Witness parents' had given him a choice: aversion therapy or being disowned.
He'd walked out of the house and knocked on my door that same night. He'd lived with us for the next three years, working any odd job he could find to earn enough money to rent his own apartment once he'd turned eighteen.
He turned his face into my hair and nuzzled me, his breath hot against my ear. “Wanna spend the night?”
“Man, do I ever…” I groaned, wishing I could. Tao knew better than anyone how to make me forget all of the things I had on my mind. “But I’ve gotta walk TJ to school, and if I stay, I’ll have to get up that much earlier.”
“He still got those kids messing with them?” Tao's usually friendly expression hardened.
He'd always been likable in school, but when he'd held his first boyfriend's hand in the hallway, he'd put up with his fair share of shit. Until one of his soccer teammates had knocked the teeth out of some homophobic bastard and threatened the health of anyone else who dared to come after Tao or anyone else again. It'd worked.
“You oughta teach him some of that Kung Fu bullshit.” I poked him in his side as I teased.
“Yeah. Like I know Kung Fu from lo mein.”
Drawing my head back, I gave him a look of mock disappointment. “Man, what good are you?”
Tao flipped me over onto my back, his eyes dark. He scraped his teeth over my nipple, his fingers pinching the other one so that I whimpered. Then, in one hard thrust, he buried his cock inside me. “How about I show you one of the many things I'm good for?”
My eyes rolled back in my head as he set a brutal pace, each thrust hard enough to drive the air from my lungs. I dug my nails into his shoulders and held on for the ride. I would be sore in the morning – hell, I'd be sore on the way home – but right now, he was doing exactly what I needed.
Fucking me into the mindless oblivion I craved.
Chapter Six
Allie
Irritated with myself, I stood at my station and rearranged all my tools. Again. The first person I’d thought about when I got into work was Jal.
Actually, he’d been the first person I’d thought about that morning.
The last person I’d thought about last night, despite Tao's skills. I'd come four times but still hadn't been able to get Jal out of my head.
I wanted to think it was because of that ludicrous tip, but I knew better. Those blue eyes and that sexy smile, even his silly flirtation, all of it had gotten to me.
He’s a rich, arrogant white man. I knew I should be smarter than that.
And really, my brain was smarter. It was my libido that wasn't. I’d ended up dreaming about him, the kind of dreams I really shouldn’t have had after twisting up the sheets with Tao for a couple of hours. All of that lust should've been sated by now, but just the thought of Jal was enough to make my stomach tighten and arousal flare hot and bright inside me.
“Allie!” Alistair’s voice tugged me out of my reverie, and I came to a stop, turning to face him. He came rushing up to me, his face tight, eyes bright, almost wild.
For one frightening moment, I thought something had happened to someone in my family. My mind flashed to TJ being chased by those bullies.
“What is it?”
He caught my hands. “Is there anybody who can pick your brother up for you after school? This is an emergency!”
Relief flooded through me. Not my family. Anything else was minor.
Rolling my eyes, I tugged my hands free and shrugged. “If it’s a real emergency, sure. But your idea of an emergency and my idea of an emergency are two very different things, Alistair. I consider an emergency something that has to do with life, death, bodily harm, evisceration, a friend’s family member in the hospital…” I waved a hand in the air. “You? Your idea of an emergency is some Philly princess whining because she chipped a nail, and she might carry on at her next soiree that you did a subpar job.”
“Oh, hush.” He glared at me. “I wouldn’t consider that an emergency. A pain in the ass, yes. And she might consider it an emergency.” He shook his head. “Not the point. Look, I’d do it myself, but he specifically requested you, and when I tried to explain you had commitments…well, you know how some of our clients are…” He flapped his hands uselessly in the air, looking distraught.
Sighing, I propped my fist on my hip as he came around to face me. “Just what is the emergency and what’s in it for me?”
“Money,” he blurted out. “Of course. For both of us. And word-of-mouth if we're lucky. He’s offered a thousand-dollar cash bonus for you, and he’s told me he’ll be switching his services here, which is all the incentive I need.”
Did he say one thousand dollars?
“Okay,” I said, after clearing my throat so I could talk, “that explains why you're so eager for me to do whatever this is, but what’s the emergency?” I narrowed my eyes, already suspicious that I knew who we were talking about.
“It was your walk-in from yesterday. Jal Lindstrom.”
“Oh, no.” Shaking my head, I lifted my hands. I had a feeling that guy had been up to something. So intent on not doing whatever it was that Jal had up his sleeve, I didn’t even see the box until Alistair shoved it under my nose.
“He left it. He has to have it – this weekend.”
At the half-mad look in Alistair’s eyes, I slowly reached up and took the jewelry box, flipping it open. I couldn’t help the gasp that spilled out of me even though I'd already known what was in the box. Light hit the stone, fracturing out as the diamond reflected it back in a million sparkling splinters. “Wow. That’s some rock,” I said. “Where was it?”
Alistair took the box back, like he wouldn't trust me until he knew I'd do it. “He left it in his overcoat, then left the coat here by accident. He was on his way to the airport when he realized it. He’s proposing to her this weekend – everything is set up, and he forgot the ring.”
Something tugged in my heart. I told myself it was pity for some poor girl who didn’t merit enough attention from her soon-to-be fiancé for him to keep up with her ring. Especially since I knew he'd been holding his coat when he was at the cash register.
It couldn't have been any other reason.
“He must really be into her for him to leave the ring here,” I muttered. Turning away from Alistair, I moved to my station. “What does any of this have to do with me?”
“He wants you to take it to him. He’s already booked a flight, first class.”
Gaping, I turned to stare at him. “He what? He can’t do that.”
“He did. I guess money talks. There’s a ride on the way, and a ticket waiting for you.” Alistair did that nervous thing with his hands again. “Please, Allie…I can’t call one of the richest, most influential men in the city and tell him that we can’t help him out on this. It could ruin me. One bad word from him…”
Well, shit.
Here came the guilt again.
Sighing, I rubbed at my forehead. Yet again, that weird feeling of being trapped and pushed and forced in directions I didn’t want to go crowded in on me.
Stop it. It’s your own doing, I told myself. I didn’t have to stay home. I chose to. I didn’t have to do this favor. If I did, it was because I wanted the money…
Not because I wanted to see him again.
“Fine. I’ll do it.
As long as Tao can pick up TJ.” I held out my hand. “Give me the damn ring.”
Naturally, Tao was happy to help. I was actually a little annoyed that he couldn’t be difficult for once in our relationship and say no when I asked him for a favor. I could've told Alistair to let Mr. Lindstrom know that I had a younger brother to look after, and it would've been the truth. I wouldn't have had to feel guilty for sending someone else in my place to deliver the ring. I was sure Sonya would've been only too happy to fly to New York.
But no.
Tao had to be his usual agreeable self and tell me to enjoy a day off where I'd earn far more than I ever could if I stayed at the salon.
And that was how I found myself being escorted to an airplane by airline personnel as if I was some celebrity, or some rich man’s wife.
Or maybe his dirty little secret.
The thought that people might think I was some big-shot's mistress irked me more than anything else that'd happened. I wasn't that woman. I'd never let some man keep me hidden away like something to be ashamed of, and I'd sure as hell not fool around with a married man. Okay, so the engagement ring said Jal wasn't actually married yet, but it was the perception of things that had my stomach churning.
By the time I boarded the plane, I was in a dark mood, tucking myself into the first class seat I’d been assigned. When the airline attendant offered me wine, I asked how much, managing not to gape when she told me it was free. I asked for rum and coke instead. It was too early to drink, but right then, I didn’t care.
Jal Lindstrom hadn't struck me as the kind of guy who’d leave an engagement ring behind by accident. He didn't look like a man who ever did anything by accident. I was sure his life was carefully planned and controlled, down to the last detail.
Once we were in the air and I could retrieve my purse from where I'd tucked it between my feet, I pulled out the box, wanting to study the ring a little more closely. Heaven knew I'd never get this close to something like this again.
It was big and sparkly, beautiful and elegant without being ostentatious. Not surprising, really. Jal had struck me as the sort of guy who wouldn’t worry about showy displays to impress others. He simply did it by existing. By that slow smile and the way he walked, the way he held himself. Everything about him breathed money. Money he'd been born into as well as earned.