CHAPTER XVII
THE TEA
'And what do you think of _him_?' asked mamma.
'Oh, I think he's very well,' replied Emily gaily.
'I should say he was very _toor_-lerable,' drawled Miss Jawleyford, whoreckoned herself rather a judge, and indeed had had some experience ofgentlemen.
'_Tolerable_, my dear!' rejoined Mrs. Jawleyford, 'I should say he's verywell--rather _distingue_, indeed.'
'I shouldn't say _that_,' replied Miss Jawleyford; 'his height and figureare certainly in his favour, but he isn't quite my idea of a gentleman. Heis evidently on good terms with himself; but I should say, if it wasn't forhis forwardness, he'd be awkward and uneasy.'
'He's a fox-hunter, you know,' observed Emily.
'Well, but I don't know that that should make him different to otherpeople,' rejoined her sister. 'Captain Curzon, and Mr. Lancaster, and Mr.Preston, were all fox-hunters; but they didn't stare, and blurt, and kicktheir legs about, as this man does.'
'Oh, you are so fastidious!' rejoined her mamma; 'you must take men as youfind them.'
'I wonder where he lives?' observed Emily, who was quite ready to take ourfriend as he was.
'I wonder where he _does_ live?' chimed in Mrs. Jawleyford, for thesuddenness of the descent had given them no time for inquiry. 'Somebodysaid Manchester,' observed Miss Jawleyford drily.
'So much the better,' observed Mrs. Jawleyford, 'for then he is sure tohave plenty of money.'
'Law, ma! but you don't s'pose pa would ever allow such a thing,' retortedMiss, recollecting her papa's frequent exhortations to them to look high.
'If he's a landowner,' observed Mrs. Jawleyford 'we'll soon find him out in_Burke_. Emily, my dear,' added she, 'just go into your pa's room, andbring me the _Commoners_--you'll find it on the large table between the_Peerage_ and the _Wellington Despatches_.'
Emily tripped away to do as she was bid. The fair messenger presentlyreturned, bearing both volumes, richly bound and lettered, with theJawleyford crests studded down the backs, and an immense coat of arms onthe side.
A careful search among the S's produced nothing in the shape of Sponge.
'Not likely, I should think,' observed Miss Jawleyford, with a toss of herhead, as her mamma announced the fact.
'Well, never mind,' replied Mrs. Jawleyford, seeing that only one of thegirls could have him, and that one was quite ready; 'never mind, I dare sayI shall be able to find out something from himself,' and so they droppedthe subject.
In due time in swaggered our hero, himself, kicking his legs about as menin tights or tops generally do.
'May I give you tea or coffee?' asked Emily, in the sweetest tone possible,as she raised her finely turned gloveless arm towards where the glitteringappendages stood on the large silver tray.
'Neither, thank you,' said Sponge, throwing himself into an easy-chairbeside Mrs. Jawleyford. He then crossed his legs, and cocking up a toe foradmiration, began to yawn.
'You feel tired after your journey?' observed Mrs. Jawleyford.
'No, I'm not,' said Sponge, yawning again--a good yawn this time.
Miss Jawleyford looked significantly at her sister--a long pause ensued.'I knew a family of your name,' at length observed Mrs. Jawleyford, in thesimple sort of way women begin pumping men. 'I knew a family of your name,'repeated she, seeing Sponge was half asleep--'the Sponges of Toadey Hall.Pray are they any relation of yours?'
'Oh--ah--yes,' blurted Sponge: 'I suppose they are. The factis--the--haw--Sponges--haw--are a rather large family--haw. Meet themalmost everywhere.'
'You don't live in the same county, perhaps?' observed Mrs. Jawleyford.
'No, we don't,' replied he, with a yawn.
'Is yours a good hunting country?' asked Jawleyford, thinking to sound himin another way.
'No; a devilish bad 'un,' replied Sponge, adding with a grunt, 'or Iwouldn't be here.'
'Who hunts it?' asked Mr. Jawleyford.
'Why, as to that--haw,'--replied Sponge, stretching out his arms and legsto their fullest extent, and yawning most vigorously--'why, as to that, Ican hardly say which you would call my country, for I have to do with somany; but I should say, of all the countries I am--haw--connectedwith--haw--Tom Scratch's is the worst.'
Mr. Jawleyford looked at Mrs. Jawleyford as a counsel who thinks he hasmade a grand hit looks at a jury before he sits down, and said no more.
Mrs. Jawleyford looked as innocent as most jurymen do after one of theseforensic exploits.--Mr. Sponge beginning his nasal recreations, Mrs.Jawleyford motioned the ladies off to bed--Mr. Sponge and his hostpresently followed.