“She was kind and funny and sweet,” I pause as I think I’m going to vomit, but it stays down, it’s the pain that’s hurting me, “What I didn’t know, she was selfish, and cruel…and she broke my fucking heart. Merry fucking Christmas.”
I finish my beer and slam the bottle down on the table, the bar is starting to spin around me, but I’m not done yet.
“Leo,” dad warns.
“What’s going on?” mom wants to know.
“I’ll tell you, mother,” I drool out, “My girl who I thought was kind and sweet and fucking funny is going to kill…”
A heavy force has me moving and I’m not sure if my boots are hitting the floor as the exit door is getting closer to me.
I’m thrown outside and the fresh air hits me hard. Bracing my hands on my knees, I lean over and empty my stomach.
When I look up, the door is closed, and dad is the only one out here with me.
“We don’t need to be telling everyone your business,” he growls, “Blurting it out like that wouldn’t have helped you, or her. I thought you was going to talk to her again?”
“I tried, she’s set on getting rid.”
I stumble onto the nearest chair and pat my pockets down for my smokes. I find the pack in my cut pocket, but now I can’t find a light.
“Pull yourself together, son. If you start losing yourself over a woman, you’ll never make it through life, and then I’ll have to step in and shit will get bloody and brutal.”
“She’s going to abort my kid, how the fuck am I supposed to feel?” I snap.
“To everyone in there? Cool as fuck,” he says, lighting my smoke for me, “When you’re behind closed doors, anything you fucking you want.”
“I love her, dad. I thought I knew her, but she’s not the girl I love anymore.”
“I don’t know if this will work out in your favour, I’ve spent too many years looking at situations from both sides, and this is no different. As much as it will hurt you, I can’t force an eighteen-year-old girl to keep a baby. I’m not that kind of man.”
His jaw twitches and I wonder if he’s thinking about when his mom abandoned him, but this isn’t like that, India isn’t planning on dumping our kid, she’s planning on killing it.
Inhaling deeply on the cigarette, I blow out the smoke and sigh simultaneously.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit.
“For today, you’re going to go home where you won’t open your mouth to anyone and you’re going to sleep off the drink. I’ll go and get a prospect to drive you.”
I don’t want to go home to my parents. I want the cabin.
The saying, everything looks better in the morning, is a load of shit. My head hurts, my stomach is fragile, and I’ve vomited three times. I don’t dare try to eat anything, and only sip from the glass of water I managed to pour myself at five am this morning.
“What’s going on with you and India?”
I don’t bother opening my eyes to JJ. I thought I had locked up when I got here last night, obviously not.
“Nothing,” I groan, trying not to breathe too deeply.
“Bullshit,” he spits, his voice getting louder, “You said she was going kill something until your dad got you out quick time.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Whatever, you don’t want to tell me, don’t, but here, she gave me this to give you.”
For this I open my eyes and he’s standing over me holding a small envelope. He lets it go and it drifts down and lands on my stomach.
For a beat, I don’t move.
I vaguely remember telling her not to come back to town or I’ll make her life hell. Groaning, I sit up and pick up her letter.
JJ fucks off into the kitchen and I open the letter. Her handwriting is neat and easy for me to read through my hazy, alcohol filled eyes.
‘Dear Leo,
I knew you would hate me and it hurts because I didn’t want to be right. I hoped you would hold me and tell me everything would be okay, that we would get through this together. I’m writing this letter because when I try talking to you, we only fight. I won’t change my mind and I don’t want to keep hurting you.
What I’m about to do I know we can’t come back from, so I won’t come back to Willows Peak. I’ll stay away and as much as it will haunt me to lose you, I’ll leave you alone and won’t try to contact you just for my benefit.
I love you, Leo. I hope I will have your forgiveness one day.
India.
I fist my hand around the paper, and the numbness returns.
“Where did she give you this?” I call through to JJ in the kitchen.
“At the club, she came to find me this morning before she left town.”
I’m not surprised she’s gone already, I have no hope of stopping her now.
They say there’s a fine line between love and hate, India has crossed the fucking line. She’s right, we can’t come back from this, and she will never have my forgiveness. I shove the letter back inside the envelope and shove it in my jeans pocket.
“Do you want to get wasted?”
“It’s not even eleven yet, brother.”
“I didn’t ask for the time, I asked if you wanted to get wasted?”
He falls back on the old, dusty armchair and slams his boots up on the small table.
“I think you had enough to drink yesterday, your dad did too to get you out like that. I swear, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him move so fast.”
I vaguely remember him throwing me out the door and saying something about keeping my cool in front of the club. Fuck. This is so screwed, yet by the end of the day, with or without JJ drinking with me, I won’t be able to see straight, let alone think about this clusterfuck of a mess that I’m calling life.
Leo
Six months later…
The twins couldn’t give a fuck that they’re prospects. None of the brothers are making them do shit. They both have Pope’s eyes and mentality, but they are a lot more outspoken than their Grampa. No one knows where they stand with them, and if they’re like this at eighteen, fuck knows what they’ll be like in another ten years. Mason produces another bottle of tequila and Myles slides shot glasses around the table to each of us.
“Come on, Sasha, climb on the table,” JJ instructs her, and gives her a helping hand. She’s game for a good time and lays down across the wooden table top, as the twins and JJ move quickly to move the glasses and bottles out of her way.
She’s barely wearing a thing, her dress is short enough to bare most of her ass and the front is low enough, well, I don’t know how it’s supporting her tits. She’s leaving very little to the imagine, but then again, that’s how most of us like it around here.
JJ wriggles her dress up and over hips and pours the liquor in her navel.
“Drink, drink, drink,” Zara chants and climbs on my lap.
Even through the haze of alcohol, I still can’t see anyone but India. Nothing happens in my boxers, not even a twitch, but I keep her where she is for show.
She leans back against me, and her ass, which I’ve enjoyed many times before India crawled into my heart and ruined me, grinds harder into my groin.
“It’s been so long, Leo, let’s go upstairs before you drink too much,” she purrs, thinking I give a fuck.
Ha. Give a fuck, about fucking. Man, I’m wasted.
“No.”
“Why?”
There hasn’t been a day, an hour, where I haven’t thought about her. Why did she have to leave? I told her what would happen if she left and followed through with her plan. I believed her when she said she loved me, but she didn’t love me enough to trust I would look after them both.
“Leo? Are you even awake?”
I didn’t realise I closed my eyes and I open them to see three Zara’s sitting on my lap.
“What do you want from me?” I slur.
“I want you,” she purrs.
They are the right words I want to h
ear, but they don’t come from the right woman.
“I don’t want you, I want her,” I mumble.
She looks around, and frowns when she settles back on me.
“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, nothing matters.”
I push my arm around her and reach for the bottle of beer I left here earlier. Picking up the bottle, I find it empty and laugh to myself. Maybe I’ve drunk it.
“I need a beer,” I holler, “Someone get me a beer!”
Fuck knows how long I keep my hand in the air waiting for my beer to be replaced, but it feels like I blink, and I have a full bottle again.
I don’t even realise when Zara disappears from my lap. It saves me having to get rid of her later.
My leg begins vibrating and I miss my pocket three times, before I get my hand in to dig out my phone.
It takes a moment before I read India’s name on the screen and I hit ignore. I told her. I fucking told her I wouldn’t have anything to do with her if she left me. She doesn’t get to keep calling me and try talking me around. I’ll never forgive her. Never.
I turn my phone off and slide it back in my jeans pocket. Raising my beer to my mouth, shit happens in slow motion, the bottle is knocked from my hand before it registers that I’ve just been punched. My jaw isn’t made of glass though and I push to my feet and manage to at least, see the next punch swinging for my jaw.
“What the fuck, Slade?” I hear JJ roar, coming to my side.
Slade shoves me over the table and grabs at my cut, I don’t know if it’s the drink or the fact I don’t care anymore, but he overpowers me, and I can’t move from his grip.
He’s angry. That much gets through. He moves his head back and I get a real close up of him smashing his head against mine.
I don’t feel a fucking thing.
And I laugh.
This causes him to lose it even more and I get a nasty right hook to my jaw for it.
My lip splits and I can feel the blood seep down my chin.
“Slade!”
I hear dad’s voice boom across the room, but Slade isn’t listening. The last thing I see is another right hook and my world goes black.
Something thumps against my cheek and something wet splashes against my face. My eyes flutter open and Sparky is a few inches from my face.
“You better sober up real fuckin’ fast,” he tells me, and holds his hand out to help me up.
Looking around, how the fuck did I end up on the floor? Being knocked unconscious has at least sobered me up, and my chin aches to shit. I shrug out of Sparky’s grip and fall onto the nearest chair.
Rubbing my chin, I check all my teeth are still in my mouth and see my dad keeping Slade away from me.
Now I’m not so drunk, I can defend myself.
“Did you think we’d never find out?” he yells over to me.
“There’s nothing to know now, it’s been over for months,” I yell back.
I shouldn’t have yelled; my head is splitting into two and I feel like vomiting.
“Oh, I know it’s over,” he sarcastically smirks, “You’ll never get near her again, but you can bet your fucking ass you’ll support her.”
I look to my dad and frown, what the fuck is he talking about?
“Support with what?” my dad asks before I can.
“With the fucking baby,” Slade roars like I’ve never heard from him before.
Jumping to my feet, I forget about the drink, I forget about the pain bouncing around head, and I forget about the pain she has caused me over the last six months.
“She kept it?”
“Hey, Leo didn’t know. He wanted her to keep it, but she was hell bent on getting rid of it.”
I didn’t want my dad jumping in on this, but I guess it’s in your blood to defend your kid. Slade is about to blow and turns on my dad. While he’s distracted, I head for the door and I’m just about there when I’m yanked back and thrown against the wall.
“Get your hands off me, Slade,” I warn him.
“Stay away from her,” he spits in my face.
Pushing against him, I use all my strength and free myself from him.
“She’s having my baby, you don’t get to tell me shit. Now, I’m walking out of here and the only way you’re stopping me is if you kill me.”
I’m not fucking messing either.
She’s back and I need to see her for myself.
India
Mom won’t stop crying, and the only reason I can’t hear dad shouting and cursing anymore is because he stormed out the house a couple of hours ago and hasn’t returned. I don’t know why I bother, but I try calling Leo again. It goes straight to his voicemail, I don’t bother leaving a message. It’s obvious where my dad has gone, he’ll be looking for Leo.
Lying down on my bed, I soothingly rub my stomach and exhale all the pent-up tension. I now have no secrets from my parents.
My mom is disappointed, dad is pissed with me, and Zach won’t look at me, the only upside is, I don’t have to hide it from them anymore.
The weight of secrecy is a heavy burden and one I will not put myself in again. I’m just dropping off to sleep when banging on the front door jolts me awake and my heart pounds against my chest. It can only be Leo, and after him not picking up my calls for the last six months, he’s the one I’m most anxious to see again.
I broke his heart when I left and left him hating me.
My mom’s shrill screams must go unheard, because I hear heavy footsteps pounding up the stairs. I can barely breath as my door flies open and there he stands, Leo.
He comes to a dead stop in the middle of the room and stares at my stomach. Nothing can be heard, and I’m surprised my mom hasn’t chased him up the stairs.
He nods and tears his eyes away from me and turns his back and goes to walk out. I jump off the bed and rush to stop him walking out the room.
“Please, Leo. Don’t go.”
I hold my hands up against his chest and he flinches at my touch. I push it aside and wish he would look at me.
He keeps his eyes closed.
“I’ve been trying to tell you for months I kept the baby, but you never answered my calls.”
He still doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t open his eyes.
I reach for his hand and place it on my stomach. His swallows heavily and he still can’t look at me.
“We’re having a girl, Leo,” I tell him.
His eyes shoot open, but he doesn’t look happy, he looks pained and it’s all my fault.
“I’ve spent months believing my kid was dead, you should’ve done more than try to call me.”
He’s struggling to process, and he reeks of liquor.
“Why don’t we meet up at the cabin tomorrow, and we can talk,” I suggest.
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll go tonight, right now actually.”
I don’t want to argue with him, I’ve missed him so much. I step away from him and put my jacket on, and then my boots.
He extends his hand and then thinks twice about it, and it falls beside him. I follow him down the stairs and we’re met with my mom, holding the phone in her hand. You don’t need to guess who she’s tried calling.
Her eyes widen when she sees I’m ready to go out and she shakes her head.
“You are not leaving, India.”
“She is, Kristen. I’ll bring her back after we’ve talked,” Leo tells her.
“This is all on you, Leo Jackson. Do you think I want this for her?”
He gets close to her, and I put my hand on his arm. It doesn’t do anything, but it feels good to me, and I keep it there.
“I don’t care what you want, after everything your daughter has put me through over the last six months, I’m getting my answers tonight. Not you, nor Slade will stop me. Now move,” he bellows.
“It’s okay, mom, I’ll come straight home,” I say, hoping to calm the situation down.
Leo grabs my hand and takes me outside, he doesn’t bother heading for his bike, he walks us to my car.
“Have you got your keys?” he asks.
I nod, digging them out of my pocket and he takes them from me. He opens the passenger door for me, that has to be a good sign? Hopefully.
“Actually, you should drive, I’m still seeing double,” he murmurs, softly.
We drive in silence and I don’t dare to look at him. The tension is so thick I can barely breathe through it.
I pull up to the cabin and it feels different, something has changed. I don’t wait for him to come around and open my door, I throw it open, and heave myself out.
“Turn your phone off, I don’t want your dad blowing it up all night, and I won’t let him put hands me again if he shows up here.”
I frown, I didn’t notice the bruise on his jaw back at the house. I turn my phone off and follow Leo into the cabin. Everything is different, the walls have been painted, the old carpet is gone and has been replaced with wooden floors. The dusty smell is gone too.
“Do you live here now?” I ask him, as he turns the light on in the living room.
All the furniture is new and instead of the old battered couch, there is a huge corner unit taking up half the room.
“Yeah, my mom rents it to me. I moved in a few days after you left,” he says, bitterly, but I don’t rise to it.
My back is stiff and aches to hell, I sit down on the edge of the couch and lean back and relieve the bump off my bladder.
“I wouldn’t sit there, I fucked Zara on it last night and I haven’t had chance to clean it yet, it got very…sticky.”
Jumping up, I scowl at him.
“Asshole.”
“Hey, I warned you not to come back to town if you killed my baby, it’s been six months, how was I to know you’re a fucking liar too.”
“You would’ve known six months ago if you answered your fucking phone,” I argue back with him.
“You were adamant you were getting rid of the baby, I thought you was calling to win me around.”
“I told you I wouldn’t in the letter I gave to JJ to give to you, didn’t he give it to you?”