“You acted just like my dad. Worse. At least he was only angry at Alejandro. You thought I was two-timing you.”
“But you’ve got to see how it looked to me.”
“No, Luke,” she said. “How about you trying to see how not trusting me looked to me?”
I stared at her, panic whirling in my chest.
And then she said it.
“I can’t go out with you any more.”
She took a step past me.
No. No. No. This isn’t happening.
I spun round. Grabbed her arm. “You can’t dump me for being jealous,” I said. “It’s because I want you so much. Because I love you.”
“You don’t love me.” Eve snatched her arm away. “I thought you did, but I can see now you don’t understand what the word means.”
“I do.” Panic filled my head. I had to make her see.
“No you don’t.” Eve’s breathing was harsh. Uneven. “You don’t have a clue.”
“Listen.” I reached out for her again.
“Piss off.” Eve pulled away. “Leave me alone. You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know anything about being in a relationship.”
I blinked at her, too shocked to speak. How could she think that?
“You’re pathetic,” she snarled. “You’re so immature you’re pathetic.”
No. That wasn’t fair. My temper rose.
“I’m not the immature one.” I glared at her. “You’re the one who goes all little girly round your dad. No wonder he acts like he does. He probably thinks you’re still six.”
Eve tossed her head and stalked away from me. I strode after her.
“And you’re scared,” I shouted, insight flashing like lightning through the thunder in my mind. “You’re terrified that if he sees you as a grown-up then he won’t love you any more.”
Eve turned on me, her face scarlet.
“THAT’S NOT TRUE!” she yelled.
A couple of hotel guests strolling past stared at her.
Eve didn’t even see them. She moved closer. So close I could feel the heat coming off her face.
“That so isn’t true, Luke, but I’ll tell you something that is.” She gritted her teeth. “I did fancy Alejandro. And if he hadn’t been gay I would have snogged his face off.”
And with that she spun round and marched off down the path.
I stood, rooted to the spot. The sun was in my eyes as I watched her reach the pool. Everything was bleached out, a glaring white. My mind was numb. Totally numb.
I caught sight of the little bunch of flowers in my fist. The heads were starting to wilt in the harsh midday sun.
I opened my hands and let them fall to the ground.
18
Alone
The next few days passed in a slow, burning blur of misery. I felt best when I was angry, full of hate against Eve and Alejandro and everyone. But too often the anger dissolved and the bottom fell out of my world as I ached to be with Eve and knew that she didn’t want me.
Lola had walked out on Jonno and her job with the band. Still, he seemed to be coping with being dumped better than I was. He hired two new singers and was rumoured to be dating the hotel’s chief receptionist – a twenty-something blonde with great legs – the very next day.
Chloe and Eve got their GCSE results. Chloe had done really well – loads of As and Bs, despite having hardly worked for most of the year. She said Eve had passed everything, though not with such good grades overall. Still, she’d got an A* for Art and I knew that that was all Eve really cared about.
Chloe also told me that Eve had finally put her foot down about singing with the band, so she no longer had to rehearse in the afternoons and spend half her evenings in the nightclub. It was ironic. After weeks of hardly being able to see each other, we both, suddenly, had masses of spare time. Not that Eve started coming to the Garito or anywhere she thought I might hang out. But she took to sunbathing a lot by the pool. I often saw her there – usually being chatted up by one of the hotel guests – but I never went up to her.
I couldn’t get what she’d said about Alejandro out of my head. Jealousy ate away at me. I swung between violent fury at them both and this dark, deep, empty misery, where I imagined falling at her knees and begging her to take me back.
After two days of watching me mooch unhappily around the hotel Ryan insisted I came with him and Chloe to the Garito that night. I’d been avoiding it, going back to the room early instead. I couldn’t bear the thought of being with people having fun.
“You can’t stay here by yourself again,” Ryan said, buttoning up his shirt. He chucked me a top from my pile of clothes on the floor. “Here. Put this on.”
I stared at the top. It was one Eve had made me buy back in London. It was dark blue. She’d said it brought out the colour of my eyes.
I smiled to myself. She was always coming out with arty crap like that. But then I remembered how she’d looked at me when she’d held the top up against my face. How her eyes had shone as she’d said I’d look really, really hot in it.
“Look, man,” Ryan said. “There’s a million other girls out there. Half the staff here think you’re some kind of sex god. El Rubio, remember? I bet we go down there and you’re fighting off some horny Spanish babe within ten minutes.”
I picked up the dark blue top. “I don’t think so, and anyway—”
“It’ll do you good.” Ryan grinned. “Unless you’d rather carry on sulking.”
“I’m not sulking,” I snapped.
Ryan pointed at the top. “Prove it,” he said.
We arrived at the Garito just before midnight. The music was blaring out as usual. Chloe stopped in the doorway to pull on her heels. As she bent over, brushing the sand from her feet, Ryan nudged me in the ribs.
“Check out what Cat’s wearing,” he said.
I peered round the gloomy room. It was heaving with people, most of them dancing. I caught sight of Catalina chatting with a group of girls on the far side of the music deck. She had on this tiny top and then – Jesus – what looked like a strip of rough leather wound round her curvy hips. It couldn’t have been more than a few centimetres long, beginning below where her hipbones jutted out and ending at the very tops of her slender legs.
“Whoa,” I said, completely unable to look away.
Beside me, Chloe snorted. “I’ve seen bigger belts,” she said. “Oh, for God’s sake, Luke, stop drooling.”
“Yeah, come on, man.” Ryan punched my arm. “Cat’s with Marco. Have a look round. See what else you fancy.”
I wandered after them towards Marco and a group of hotel workers we often shared pool and restaurant shifts with. Ryan and Chloe started chatting away. A couple of girls caught my eye and smiled at me, but I found myself looking round for Catalina. She’d vanished behind a row of shaggy-haired males lined up next to the music deck.
After a while Ryan and Chloe dragged me onto the dance floor. The music was awesome. Loud and pounding. Really sexy and bass-heavy. But my heart just wasn’t in it. I could see Catalina and Marco dancing together on the other side of the room. Everyone else was swaying together, completely caught up in the music. I felt lonelier than I had done when I’d been on my own.
I backed away a little, then turned and slipped outside. I wandered down to the trees and stared out at the glistening sea. A few peaceful minutes passed, the only sound the thump of the music behind me and the shush of the waves and the trees.
Then I felt a small hand on my arm.
“Hi, Rubio.” Catalina was grinning up at me.
“Hi.” God. I looked down at the flat brown skin of her waist and how it hollowed out and disappeared under that ridiculously tiny skirt.
“You look great,” I said, my earlier lust powering back.
Catalina slid her hand under my shirt and up my back. My skin erupted in goosebumps under her fingers.
“Mmmn,” she said. “I thought maybe you no liking me?”
Sh
e clawed her hand lower. Over my jeans.
We stared at each other. I was suddenly so turned on I could hardly stand up. I reached out and pulled her towards me.
“Course I like you,” I breathed.
Her mouth was wetter than Eve’s. Her tongue darted against mine like a lizard, quick and fiery. Our snogging got deeper and harder. She was going to let me go further. I brought my hand round. Then, abruptly, she pulled back.
Totally sexed-up I reached out for her again. She shook her head.
“What?” My voice was all croaky.
She narrowed her eyes and smiled up at me. “You good kisser. But I want to dance too. Come with me?” She took my hand.
I nodded. Whatever. Wherever. Without thinking about anything other than how much I wanted her I followed her into the Garito.
The music was still blaring. The place was so crowded I had to let go of her hand as we pushed our way through the sweaty, heaving mass of dancing bodies. I kept my eyes fixed on her hard, curvy body, not noticing anything else. At last she stopped and turned round. She wriggled forwards and pressed up against me again, rolling her hips in time with the music.
I reached round her slim back and ran my hands down her narrow waist. Lower, lower until I felt the rough leather under my fingers. Oh God. I pulled her even closer, leaning down to find her mouth.
She kissed me back, her fingers sliding through my hair.
Then a hand gripped my shoulder, tugging at my shirt, pulling me backwards.
“Hey.” I looked behind me.
It was Ryan. He glared at me and yanked harder on my shirt. I stumbled backwards, losing hold of Catalina. The room was so crowded other people were already pushing between us.
I tried to shove Ryan away, but he wouldn’t let go.
“What is it?” I yelled over the music. What was his problem? You never interrupt someone in the middle of a snog. That’s just basic manners. Not unless the place is on fire or something.
“Out,” he shouted, dragging me towards the door. “Come on.”
I tried to wrench myself away but he still wouldn’t let go. Swearing my head off, I gave up and let him haul me over to the door.
We jumped down into the sand.
“What’s going on, Ry?”
Ryan clenched his jaw. “Have you got a death wish or something?” He prodded me back towards the trees.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I dug my heels into the sand and pushed him back. “What is it?”
Ryan shoved me in the chest with the flats of both hands. I stumbled backwards. I’d never seen him look so angry.
“Oh, don’t bother to say thank you but I’ve just saved you from getting beaten up by Marco and his three enormous mates.”
Marco.
My mouth fell open. I’d completely forgotten about him and Catalina.
“For some reason,” Ryan went on, sarcastically, “Spanish boys don’t like arseholes getting off with their girlfriends in front of them any more than English ones do.”
“Oh shit,” I groaned. “Was Marco really mad?”
Ryan rolled his eyes. “Well, how would you feel if your incredibly hot girlfriend practically started having sex with someone else right under your nose?” He frowned. “Actually, Marco was more upset than anything. His friends were all up for kicking your head in, but Marco was almost in tears. God, Luke, it’s one thing in a bloody store room. I mean, at least no-one else was there then. But in front of everyone . . . how could you humiliate him like that?”
“It was Cat,” I said, weakly. “She came up to me out here. She was all . . . all into it. . .”
“For God’s sake.” Ryan kicked at the sand.
“Then she dragged me inside.” I hung my head, imagining how Marco must’ve felt when he’d seen us.
Ryan looked up. “I know she’s a complete bitch but . . . Jesus, Luke . . . you did it too.”
“I know.”
We wandered down to the line of trees. A strong breeze streamed in off the ocean, rustling the branches above our heads
“I didn’t even think about Marco,” I said.
“I bet Cat did – I bet she planned the whole thing. I bet she wanted Marco to see.”
“Why?” I said. “Why would she do that?”
“I dunno. Maybe she likes blokes fighting over her.”
I shivered, remembering the last fight I’d been in – how Ben and his friends had held me down and kicked and punched me. That fight had been over a girl, too. Over Eve. With a jolt I realised I’d done the same thing again. I’d gone after someone else’s girl. More . . . I’d done exactly the thing I was so worried other guys would do with Eve.
But I didn’t want to think about Eve.
“Wouldn’t have been much of a fight,” I said, attempting a grin. “Four against one.”
Ryan bristled. “So you don’t think I’d have jumped in and pulled you out?”
I stared at him. “I didn’t mean it like that. God, Ryan, why are you so upset? It’s not like she’s your girlfriend.”
He leaned against a tree. “I just feel sorry for Marco,” he said quietly. He glanced at me. “What you did happened to me once. That older girl I told you about ages ago – my sister’s friend. We’d been going out for a couple of months. Then one day we went to this club and I turned round and she was with this other guy. All over him. It was the worst moment of my life. Not just seeing her with someone else. But everyone else seeing too. Laughing at me. Feeling sorry for me. . .”
He looked at me, as if expecting me to say something.
“Jeez,” I said. “Bummer.”
Ryan pushed himself away from his tree and laughed. “You know, Chloe’s right about you,” he said. “She says you have the emotional intelligence of a woolly hat. No wonder Eve got pissed off.”
My temper rose. This was too close to the truth.
“I’m going back to the room,” I snapped.
“Good idea.” Ryan turned away. He took a couple of steps then glanced at me over his shoulder. “Hey, Luke.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What?”
Ryan shot me an exasperated grin. “Try not to get off with anyone else’s girlfriend on your way.” He headed back to the Garito.
I made a rude sign at his departing back.
Without turning round, he stuck his finger up at me.
I wandered along the beach. It was a beautiful night. Starry sky. Fresh sea smell. Strong, warm breeze. I wondered where Eve was.
Had she felt about Alejandro like I’d felt about Catalina? I hated the thought of her wanting him, but in my heart I knew it wasn’t really fair to be angry. I mean, I hadn’t had a choice about finding Cat horny. At least it hadn’t felt like I had.
What did it matter?
I fancied Cat like mad. What we’d just done together was still filling my head. But I knew I would happily never see her again in exchange for a single chance to get Eve to go back out with me. But Eve didn’t want me. She wanted Alejandro.
An image of them together flashed into my mind. I gritted my teeth, trying to push it away.
I strolled through the trees and past the crèche. I glanced at the pool. For once it was empty. I didn’t feel at all sleepy. And I badly needed to do something, anything, to take my mind off Eve and Alejandro.
I went over and dangled my hand over the side. The water felt warm. I looked round. No-one was here. I slipped off all my clothes and slid into the pool. Mmmm. I plunged under, pulling myself through the water with big, energetic strokes. It was ace having the place to myself. Usually you couldn’t swim for more than a couple of metres without bumping into some screaming kid.
I stood, up to my waist in water, shaking the drops out of my hair. A pair of expensive-looking leather sandals planted themselves at the edge of the water. I looked up. And came face to face with the very last person I wanted to see.
19
Boy-on-boy chat-up procedures
Alejandro smiled down at me. His eye
s flickered over my bare chest and I had two thoughts in quick succession.
One: this guy had cost me my girlfriend. One way or another it was all his fault and I wanted nothing more than to get out of the pool, right now, and punch him.
Two: he was gay and I was naked.
Thought two swamped thought one, obliterating any idea of my getting out of the pool. I crouched down in the water, hoping the floodlights were too far away to show any more of me than a vague pink blur.
“Hola.” Alejandro squatted down at the edge of the pool. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, glancing round to see how far away I was from my clothes. Damn. They were at the other end of the pool.
“No towel?” Alejandro’s eyes twinkled.
I stared at him blankly. Was he flirting with me?
Alejandro started unbuttoning his shirt. “Here.You can put this round you while you get out.”
Jesus Christ. Another minute and we’d both be naked.
“No worries.” I turned my back and waded, still in a crouching position, towards the deep end. “I’ll get my clothes.”
I splashed clumsily through the water. Somehow I had to get out of the pool and into my clothes without Alejandro seeing me. I looked over my shoulder. He was walking towards me again, his shirt still half unbuttoned.
Crap.
Why wouldn’t he just go away?
“Do you want to go for a drive with me?” he said.
I stopped and stared at him. He had to be kidding.
“No,” I snapped. “All I want is to get out and get dressed. D’you mind?”
Alejandro’s mouth curled into a massive grin. “It is no a date, Luke. I just want to talk to you.”
I shrugged, gripping the side of the pool.
Go away.
Alejandro turned his back. “Okay,” he said. “Get out. I promise I won’t look.” He wandered away from me, back towards the shallow end.
This was clearly the best offer I was going to get. Keeping my eyes on him, I hauled myself out of the pool and tried to shove my dripping legs back into my jeans.